Wife split!

[felix8787]

Вот блин!  NO- he needs to follow your advise and start the annulment and kick her out of his house. I give 2 hours to her for DVC then.No, I give one hour
Go ahead.
Once more- I've been there on the other side, I talked to an attorney, I know what they tell women.

Your exactly right, it is his house that he worked hard all of his life for and this GCG comes and takes over it like it was hers. This man needs to protect what he worked hard all of his life to get and not have some GCG come and make false claims and have it taken all away because she is not happy with him.

[Doll]

Felix, you are funny,have you ever read the laws ?
Nobody is talking of taking a house from Wayne , it is impossible.
Felix, are you married? You wife needs to be sooooooo patient!
Do you understand what you read?

[ScottinCrimea]

I think we're all wasting our breath with Doll.  As a former(?) GCG she will not see anything other than that side and is basically proposing to Wayne what she would have wanted in the same situation to make things as easy as possible for HER.  She is trying to place the blame solely on Wayne to justify the woman's actions and her advice to him to just "let her have whatever she wants".

If I read correctly she is telling him to let her have the car, let her live in his house,let her have boyfriends, let her get the GC, expect nothing from her in the meantime and whenever she chooses to walk away, continue to provide her with financial support.

In one post Doll conjectured that perhaps the woman came to the US with good intentions, was disappointed with the lifestyle she would have with Wayne but wants to stay in the US.  That's all very nice, but according to the laws as they now stand, one cannot stay in the US just because they want to.  The price she had to pay for admission was engagement to a US citizen and the price she has to pay to stay is a successful marriage to a US citizen.  If she is unablet to pay the price, she has to leave. (Unless, of course, she can shift the cost to Wayne through a DV charge.)

I don't see any way that this marriage will last, so there are only three ways this can go.  One, that Wayne gives her everything she wants and ends up drained of everythng he owns with no wife to show for it, Two, that she files a DV charge against him and he winds up the same as in number one but with a criminal charge/conviction against him and even higher legal fees, or three, that he gets counsel, does everything to protect himself and perhaps salvages some of his finances and dignity.

In two out of the three cases, she wins and he loses so he has indeed placed himself in a deep hole.  Unfortunately, there is no win/win scenario here.  If anyone thinks the woman will just take her green card and walk away, they just don't get it.

[felix8787]

Doll,
Do you agree that Wayne should just sit back and let her use him and drain him dry financially and emotionally, while she is out parlaying with other guys if there are other guys, so that she can get her GC?

[Doll]

As a former(?) GCG

Boys, then who can explain me what is GCG? Seriously!

[Doll]

If I read correctly

You don't.
You're lucky, kids, I work at school and so very patient 

[Vaughn]

It's quite apparent to me that Doll is playing the gender card. Fine. Her assumptions
are shots in the dark at best.

We (my wife and I) have several FSU ladies in our circle of friends who came over
on K-1s that did not work out - with the glaringly common reason being they saw
fit to flee controlling men. I would say that in our experience watching others' train
wrecks, these controlling-husband cases far outnumber GCG situations, so Doll, I do
understand both sides of the story. And recognize well the difference.

In Wayne's case, I see a GCG clearly. Among my wife's girlfriends who have moved on,
none had denied their husbands in the bedroom, none had run out to find boyfriends,
none helped themselves to computers,
and all were quite actively participating in their marriages with respect to shopping,
cleaning, ESL classes, learning to drive, managing the finances (which, in my opinion,
they do a better job than the average American man like myself). In short, these
ladies gave the marriage an honest effort, and here comes the important part, Doll -

FOR A REASONABLY LONG PERIOD OF TIME

NOT the day after the wedding, NOT when the AOS packet
went ker-plunk into a mailbox. They spent YEARS, Doll, YEARS, before they
got fed up and left. Their respective departures were no surprise.

THIS particular lady was chock full 'o suprises. Now that her pattern has
been noticed, it's not difficult to predict her next move - which is why,
of course, I recommend Wayne get an attorney - to protect what is left,
and to prevent a future Criminal Record - which will result if she is
allowed to have free run of the house, installing locks on rooms, and
whatever other immature and childish behavior she is capable of.

It boils down to character - this lady wouldn't fit into my
wife's circle of friends. That's not arrogance speaking.

Just a fact based on what we know. We don't gender discriminate.

Vaughn


 

[Doll]

Doll,
Do you agree that Wayne should just sit back and let her use him and drain him dry financially and emotionally, while she is out parlaying with other guys if there are other guys, so that she can get her GC?

She already got it for 2 years

[felix8787]

Felix, you are funny,have you ever read the laws ?
Nobody is talking of taking a house from Wayne , it is impossible.
Felix, are you married? You wife needs to be sooooooo patient!
Do you understand what you read?

I am ain't I  Sure I have read the laws, do you know what FRAUD is??? Or do you need me to copy and paste it from dictionary.com.
Hm that's funny, because a judge can award the wife the house.
  do I understand what I read......that is to f****** funny.
Now you are trying to shift the topic about me?
You caught me, I don't know what I read, but you put patters together from a single past post, remember doll, the square block doesn't go in the round hole.

[Doll]

Vaughn, now you are wasting your breath- I didn't say she wasn't guilty.

[Doll]

I am ain't I Grin  Sure I have read the laws, do you know what FRAUD is??? Or do you need me to copy and paste it from dictionary.com.
Hm that's funny, because a judge can award the wife the house.
 Roll Floor Laugh do I understand what I read......that is to f****** funny.
Now you are trying to shift the topic about me?

Oh my God! My patience is gone 
Shift the topic about you? And who has shifted it against poor Doll and called her names?  You and Willy the boy 
Doll is innocent- she has been married to one and the same AM for 7 years. 

[felix8787]

She already got it for 2 years

She came on a K-1 in March 2008.  Married in late April.

By my calculations they have been married for about 6 months. How does she have anything for 2 years........Oh shoot, I forgot Oksana is trying for the DVC against Wayne.

Ok my mistake, she already has it for 2 years with preemptive DVC against Wayne.

[ScottinCrimea]

Doll, you keep claiming authority to advise and make judgements based on your own personal history and experience.  Maybe it's time you shared your own story with us so we can judge for ourselves whether you have the right to make such claims.  surely you can't expect us to take your word for it that you are an expert in these matters without something to back you up.

[felix8787]

Oh my God! My patience is gone 
Shift the topic about you? And who has shifted it against poor Doll and called her names?  You and Willy the boy 
Doll is innocent- she has been married to one and the same AM for 7 years. 

Patience? What's that? I didnt shift anything, I am questioning all of your post that you have put up and questioning meaning of each post...........called you names????? Hm funny but I don't recall saying anything about you as far as name calling, why don't you go back and look through the post and the last 3 pages and show me where I called you a name. I just looked and didn't see any, I don't feel the need to call you anything other then your screen name which is Doll. Wow you really like to hype things up do you. Name calling???

Doll I Question your post and it's integrity.

[Gator]

We (my wife and I) have several FSU ladies in our circle of friends who came over
on K-1s that did not work out - with the glaringly common reason being they saw
fit to flee controlling men. I would say that in our experience watching others' train
wrecks, these controlling-husband cases far outnumber GCG situations, so Doll, I do
understand both sides of the story. And recognize well the difference.

In Wayne's case, I see a GCG clearly. Among my wife's girlfriends who have moved on,
none had denied their husbands in the bedroom, none had run out to find boyfriends,
none helped themselves to computers,
and all were quite actively participating in their marriages with respect to shopping,
cleaning, ESL classes, learning to drive, managing the finances (which, in my opinion,
they do a better job than the average American man like myself). In short, these
ladies gave the marriage an honest effort, and here comes the important part, Doll -

FOR A REASONABLY LONG PERIOD OF TIME

NOT the day after the wedding, NOT when the AOS packet
went ker-plunk into a mailbox. They spent YEARS, Doll, YEARS, before they
got fed up and left. Their respective departures were no surprise.

Vaughn,

I completely agree with you.

My experience is the same albeit my history with AM-FSUW marriages is much less.  Most RW come here in good faith, some perhaps not in passionate love, yet each wanting to build a new life with her chosen man.  I have met many happily married AM-FSUW couples who are doing just fine, raising common children and enjoying life together.

Your point about a larger number of controlling-husbands than GCGs also seems very true.  Many men seemingly have been rejected by the AW of their dreams and believe they can find a compliant, pretty wife in the FSU.  However, FSUW are survivors and relish in independence, which is not compatible with a controlling husband.

[Gator]

Boys, then who can explain me what is GCG? Seriously!

Doll, you do not meet my definition of GCG.  I am not sure about the level of passionate love between you and your husband, yet you worked hard to save your marriage.

[Gator]

One of the most precious lessons I have learned during my life is
-Be skeptical to advices of people if they have failed in the field they give advice about.
-Be open-minded to advices of people if they have succeed in the field they give advice about.

VWRW, I suggest that you evaluate carefully all advice that you receive for all important issues. 

If I had a marriage troubled with possible GCG issues, I would consider Maxx the best source of advice short of a qualified attorney.  Although Maxx failed miserably in selecting a woman good for him, his experience from the aftermath gives him excellent credibility on how to minimize if not preempt the "world of hurt" that a GCG can cause a man.

[William3rd]

Quote from: vwrw on Today at 12:19:43 PM
One of the most precious lessons I have learned during my life is
-Be skeptical to advices of people if they have failed in the field they give advice about.
-Be open-minded to advices of people if they have succeed in the field they give advice about.


Gee- one of the most precious lessons I learned is to ignore those who perpetrate acts of fraud  and then try to give advice. and of course, never let others walk in with their eyes shut not knowing of the prior despicable acts.

Shall I say more or would you be so kind as to explain to the new people what I am talking about in this post?

[Vaughn]

Good to see you here, Gator.

Not to catalyze speculation, but I would like to have been there
for the AOS interview. Wayne could have nipped this in the bud
right then and there...

Game over.

[William3rd]

Good to see you here, Gator.

Not to catalyze speculation, but I would like to have been there
for the AOS interview. Wayne could have nipped this in the bud
right then and there...

Game over.

He could have done even better by not showing up at all for the AOS interview. Nothing that the GCG can do about that. . . . :whirling:

[Vaughn]

He could have done even better by not showing up at all......

[Doll]

Maybe it's time you shared your own story with us

No

[vwrw]

VWRW, I suggest that you evaluate carefully all advice that you receive for all important issues. 

Thanks for suggestion. While not stated explicitly, the words of mine you quoted imply a careful evaluation of advice. 

If I had a marriage troubled with possible GCG issues, I would consider Maxx the best source of advice short of a qualified attorney.  Although Maxx failed miserably in selecting a woman good for him, his experience from the aftermath gives him excellent credibility on how to minimize if not preempt the "world of hurt" that a GCG can cause a man.

In is general I admit that Maxx has given some good advices. However, some of his advices may aggravate the GCG to put her man in a world of hurt.

[Maxx2]

In is general I admit that Maxx has given some good advices. However, some of his advices may aggravate the GCG to put her man in a world of hurt.

Thanks VWRW for the first part.

With the second part I try to find out if she is a GCG first. Then if there is no doubt that she is I advocate that the husband secretly consult with a immigration attorney and an divorce attorney that knows the immigration issues. This is what I did. Then I advise never to mention the word 'divorce' with the wife. To make the plans to exit without the wife knowing it is coming. If a wife seems on the verge of doing a DVC and the husband for whatever reason cannot leave the home at that time I advise to chill the situation by taking her shopping. Perhaps new car or new house shopping (I did this) but not to buy of course. This will usually keep the wife from filing a DV charge as she sees she has a payday coming. Then pack up personal valuables with the help of a female relative/friend (as a witness) leave the house while the wife is visiting with friends or shopping. Then have a process server waiting for her when she returns home. Then the husband is to stay hidden with a changed phone as divorce/annulment details are worked out. If she wants to contact him she can do so through her attorney to his attorney.

I know this sounds like "squash the bitch" as you put it but it is all for the protection of the husband to avoid an arrest and criminal prosecution.

The reason I am not a failure with the divorce/exit process is;

1) I avoided being arrested
2) I avoided a criminal charge
3) I avoided any spousal maintenance
4) I kept my legal costs to a minimum (4 K)
5) I kept all the marital assets including her wedding ring (scrapped at $1,750 and applied to my attorney's fees)

Most of the guys in my circumstance are arrested on criminal charges. They pay some spousal maintenance. And they usually pay 10's of thousands of dollars on attorneys' fees. Some even more than a 100 thousand dollars (record I know of was $400,000 - $500,000) defending themselves. Some get sued in civil court. Some for hundreds of thousands of dollars. There are some suicides as well. 

William3rd mentioned the harm a GCG can bring to those around her. Here is a photograph of a Russian woman I know named Bella.



Bella is a widow. Her husband a Georgian died about 10 years ago. What happen to Bella was that her only child named Michael married a Russian woman. This woman wanted out of the marriage and filed DV charges on him. He took it very hard. Within a few days he had a stroke. He was 39 years old and had been in perfect health up to that point. Bella had found him laying on the floor. Six months later he died. She blames the "dirty charges" of the restraining order on why her son died. Who knows? A family friend I talked to, a university professor (from Georgetown university I believe) told me "she killed him". He was convinced that the stress that came over Michael was the cause of his death.


 



Words can kill.


Maxx

[Kuna]

Vaughn, now you are wasting your breath- I didn't say she wasn't guilty.

... yet you maintain this ridiculous argument that he should give her another chance.

You're either a troll, a fool or an international mastermind in Green Card scams.  I can't see any other reason for your constant attacks on Maxx and William (or as in your childish way, Willy).  

Like the worse qualities that can be found in FSUW - you probably feel very clever, in reality you're just very immature and childish.

How anyone could take you seriously is beyond me!

Now that you've polluted another thread where a member came to ask for some honest advice (remember, this thread started with a member facing a crisis asking for help), would you please do us all a favour by going away and harassing your husband - or something.

I think the goals of RWD escape you.  We're not here to lead men to ruin... or to advise budding GCGs, we're supposed to be here to help those desiring genuine cross-culture relationships, particularly those from the west and FSU.  

All you seem to do is hinder reasonable advice, pollute threads, distort reality and act like a spoiled little brat!