Wife split!

[Maxx2]

Olga,

I'm not disagreeing with you, but she was his WIFE and not an employee.  Think THEIR car, THEIR computer.  Yeah, she meanwhile found another lover.. happens all the time.

Funny how she gets THEIR new car and she gets THEIR new computer and Wayne is left with his pockets hanging out.



Maxx

[BC]

This thinking in men is why they end up toast with a GCG wife. It is fuzzy lame weak thinking. Nothing decisive and manly about. Wayne's mistake was not seeing an attorney about his problem back in May within a month of their being married. Then actively and secretly working to separate and establish his intent of a divorce. Now he might get a judge that sees a 7 month long marriage ending might be due to incompatibility issues and not her intent to defraud him. This could cost Wayne $.


Maxx

Yes it maybe even is fuzzy, lame and weak from this point of view, knowing very little and only one side of the story.  That is why I would have to trust a court's decision as being fair in the end, after all they are charged with reaching middle ground using the best legal tools available.  I just don't buy the corrupt and biased court theories often mentioned. -if anything using that argument is a cop out.

[BC]

Funny how she gets THEIR new car and she gets THEIR new computer and Wayne is left with his pockets hanging out.

ok 600 bucks for a computer and car that ain't paid for... - chump change and no big deal.

[OlgaH]

Olga,

I'm not disagreeing with you, but she was his WIFE and not an employee.  Think THEIR car, THEIR computer.  Yeah, she meanwhile found another lover.. happens all the time.

She was his wife (fictitious wife from her position) just for 5 months  till her GC. I disagree with you. It is his car, his new car on his name, he payed for the car, and it is his computer, more over she knew that the computer is an important part of his job.

[BC]

She was his wife (fictitious wife from her position) just for 5 months  till her GC. I disagree with you. It is his car, his new car on his name, he payed for the car, and it is his computer, more over she knew that the computer is an important part of his job.

..err.. was she the second? or was it third?.. must have lost count here.

something is amiss.

In any case, ignorance is never an excuse when it comes to the law unless he is legally insane.. If my count was even halfway correct this may be the case.

Wayne should simply learn that he is probably better off forgetting about women in general for a long while - maybe forever.  In the long run 'renting' would be cheaper and probably more fulfilling.

He's obviously wading in waters over his head.

[OlgaH]

BC

we have absolutely different views on life  so I can not understand you position and you most likely  will not understand why getting divorce with my ex-husband I signed myself a document "I don't have any financial and material claims to..." 

[BC]

BC

we have absolutely different views on life  so I can not understand you position and you most likely  will not understand why getting divorce with my ex-husband I signed myself a document "I don't have any financial and material claims to..." 

Olga,

You and I have the luxury of disagreeing.

I am not Wayne, and you are not his wife.

I therefore agree that we can disagree - amicably.

I do however strive to understand your expressed opinion.  If we knew more we would probably come very close to agreement.

[OlgaH]

I do however strive to understand your expressed opinion.  If we knew more we would probably come very close to agreement.

BC,

Since my childhood I know that people work hard for what they try to achieve in their life and to snatch even a little part from a person it is just improper and unfair.

My ex-husband was 33 and had absolutely nothing, just his job, when I married him, but in spite of my not less contribution, I also understand that during our life together he put much more (I mean financial and material issue) in our home, I also understand that for him in his almost 50s and more over being horribly hurt from previous divorce, it would be much more difficult to start all over again,  and plus add my self-respect.

It doesn't mean that I can not understand a woman who really was a wife and put all her strength into building a family , whether a working woman or a housewife. I understand it by my own expirience, and such woman deserve her part. But I can not understand how some women can easily jump on a man's neck and after a few month and even years without their own contribution into family can clime that they deserve something just because they were officially wives. 

[BC]

  and plus add my self-respect.

Olga,

I'd say 'at the core was my self respect...'

-and yes that is noble and just.. for your circumstances.

We really know too little to decide such with Wayne's relationship.  In reality we know nothing.

But I do understand the principle that if you take something off the shelf and decide not to buy, you should be ready to put it back in it's place.

If that involves a computer and a few months lease on a car then so be it.. 

If my wife were to decide tomorrow to leave me, for whatever reason, I would have no qualms supporting her whether or not she decided to stay or leave this country.. after all I carry at least 50% of the responsibility for creating the relationship.

It's the only right thing to do and a heck of a lot cheaper than feeding lawyers.

[OlgaH]

We really know too little to decide such with Wayne's relationship.  In reality we know nothing.

BC

Because of it I take the Wayne's words, who is member here long before me, and who shared his joy with members and now shares his problem. I''m not going to practice my imagination why she avoided sex with him after wedding. I just take Wayne's words as he has written. 

If that involves a computer and a few months lease on a car then so be it..

For me it is not just about car and computer, it is about her already attitude and about a way how she has done it. IMO her way was a sneaky and dishonest way towards Wayne.

[BC]

BC

Because of it I take the Wayne's words, who is member here long before me, and who shared his joy with members and now shares his problem. I''m not going to practice my imagination why she avoided sex with him after wedding. I just take Wayne's words as he has written. 

 

For me it is not just about car and computer, it is about her already attitude and about a way how she has done it. IMO her way was a sneaky and dishonest way towards Wayne.

Quite all right.

Will be interesting to know in a few months or so how things really turn out.

[OlgaH]

If my wife were to decide tomorrow to leave me, for whatever reason, I would have no qualms supporting her whether or not she decided to stay or leave this country.. after all I carry at least 50% of the responsibility for creating the relationship.

I can not say for Wayne, but I think if she was honest with him (before to run secretly to her lover and her attorney) and told Wayne that she wants divorce and reasons for it, maybe there would be  different first post by Wayne in this thread, or maybe there would not be any posts at all.   

[Misha]

What married man has not spent a night or more on the couch, was put in the doghouse or otherwise denied bodily pleasures?

Put flatly, if she ain't happy you ain't "gittin' nookie".

Well, some of us have wives who do want to have sex from time to time. It is a hard concept to fathom, I know. Women do have desires from time to time and they do have physical needs that they expect the men they love to satisfy. Going months without sex is not normal in any adult relationship even if you factor in stress and culture shock

If a woman refuses to have sex after the wedding night and this goes on for several months, then using Occam's Razor (simplest explanation most likely to be the right one), the most logical explanation is that she had sex before to get married, and stops after the wedding because she feels she no longer has to do it. Going for months without sex barring some kind of medical condition is clearly an indication that there never was any love or desire.

[Misha]

If my wife were to decide tomorrow to leave me, for whatever reason, I would have no qualms supporting her whether or not she decided to stay or leave this country.. after all I carry at least 50% of the responsibility for creating the relationship.

It's the only right thing to do and a heck of a lot cheaper than feeding lawyers.

Divorces and break ups can get nasty pretty quickly and it is always easier to say in advance that one will take the high road. It is always easier to speak of how nobly one would act before being in the middle of it. BC, let's say hypothetically speaking that your wife left you, kicked you out of your house, had her new boyfriend move in and then sued you for alimony, would you be so nonchalant? Would you agree to it saying that you were responsible?

[Maxx2]

I can not understand how some women can easily jump on a man's neck and after a few month and even years without their own contribution into family can clime that they deserve something just because they were officially wives. 

Wayne's wife essentially jumped on his neck the day after they married when she moved into another bedroom. As Wayne said he believes it was her plan all along. She was ending the marriage right then and there. There is no mention of her having a six month urinary tract infection. If she did have one it didn't seem to bother her much or her boyfriend who rewarded her for something with expensive clothes. I can't believe the men who are debating all of this are for real. I have asked this over and over again, what would it take for her to do to be a GCG to you? Would she have to give Wayne a sworn and notarized affidavit with her thumbprint on it stating that she used him only for a green card and had no intention to making the marriage work? Maybe Wayne would have had to get a time coded VHS tape of her having her boyfriend helping her move her things into the other bedroom the day after she married Wayne? Then see the door locked behind them while sounds of lovemaking filled the audio track?  Again, what's it take to be a GCG?



Maxx

[Maxx2]

Divorces and break ups can get nasty pretty quickly and it is always easier to say in advance that one will take the high road. It is always easier to speak of how nobly one would act before being in the middle of it. BC, let's say hypothetically speaking that your wife left you, kicked you out of your house, had her new boyfriend move in and then sued you for alimony, would you be so nonchalant? Would you agree to it saying that were were responsible?

BC can't be nonchalant with us. I doubt that he would be with his wife even if she had a urinary tract infection. What timing for that condition to flair up. I mean the day after she consummated the marriage with BC she moves to another bedroom? Then shows him no respect by letting her dog crap all over his house and never cleaning it up?


Maxx   

[Gator]

Found out in round about fashion from student, wife and daughter went to New York City.  Seems the cosmetology license is much easier for her to get there than in Michigan. 

Letter came addressed to me from school attendence officer.  Daughter missed 6 unexcused days.  Called school.  Daughter last attended school one week ago.

This is good news!  Evidently your wife decided not to exercise the DV option.  It would require staying in a shelter.  Besides, she saw no future in your city.

Presumably she is on the RW Underground Railroad to Brighton Beach to start anew there in some low paying job.  What a life!  Is it that much better than what she left?

[Gator]

Wayne,

I am confused if your wife has indeed flown the coop.  How does she remove the conditions on her permanent residence card?  Don't the two of you have to file a I-751 form within the 90 days just preceding the expiration date on her card?

[OlgaH]

Presumably she is on the RW Underground Railroad to Brighton Beach to start anew there in some low paying job.  What a life!

Very Russian atmosphere btw 

The song "Morning Exercises" by Vladimir Vysotsky

We're not scared by life's pace
In response we run in place
Even total novice will be happy here
Wonderful: from the beginning
No one's losing, no one's winning
Stationary running is agreeable.

Full translation of the song

[youtube=425,350]tW_CgW20KAU[/youtube]

[felix8787]

I am confused if your wife has indeed flown the coop. 

I think that she flown the coop the day she moved into the next bedroom.

[Maxx2]

Thanks Olga for the video. I was at Brighton Beach last year in February. It is a different world to be sure. Wow was it cold!



Maxx

[Maxx2]

I just don't buy the corrupt and biased court theories often mentioned. -if anything using that argument is a cop out.

Man are you ignorant. I know of cases where the judge says "I have heard enough" after the prosecution presents it's case and will not even hear the defense. Not allowing witness to be called and so on. I could post the trial transcripts but you are so biased it would do no good. I cannot believe how ignorant you and Jet are. I used look up to you guys as successes. Not no more . I have to wonder what miserable marriages you put up with to condemn Wayne. Shame on you!



Maxx

[Vaughn]

Man are you ignorant.  I cannot believe how ignorant you and Jet are. I used look up to you guys as successes. Not no more . I have to wonder what miserable marriages you put up with

Maxx, that's way off-base, especially considering that you've condemned a judge who said

"I have heard enough" after the prosecution presents it's case and will not even hear the defense.

From what I've read of BC and Jet, they both are reserving judgement until both sides are heard.
Why do you cling to the double standard?

[Gator]

I have to wonder what miserable marriages you put up with to condemn Wayne. Shame on you!

Alert!  Some alien has invaded Maxx's body.  This can not be Maxx because in six years of posting, I have never seen him attack anyone.

To the alien who has taken over Maxx's brain, my impression is that BC and Jet are simply saying they do not have all the facts.  On this board we never have both sides (man and woman), and even if we did, it still would not be 100% clear. 

Thus, we must hang our hat on what Wayne presents.  IMO his posts show that his wife is a GCG.  At the same time, Wayne's posts show that he is an indecisive, needy, nice guy (i. e., weak) - exactly the wrong personality for most RW. 

RW are sweet on the outside yet strong on the inside.  It is a trait they needed to survive the FSU.  And they do not respect weak men.  Consider Wayne's wife.  She is strong enough to take her daughter and start a new life in NYC with apparently few dollars in her hand and no marketable occupational skills in an economic recession.

[Misha]

Thus, we must hang our hat on what Wayne presents.  IMO his posts show that his wife is a GCG.  At the same time, Wayne's posts show that he is an indecisive, needy, nice guy (i. e., weak) - exactly the wrong personality for most RW. 

Well, I agree with the characterization of Wayne. I am not sure whether it is the wrong personality for most RW, but it is certainly the right personality for the wrong kind of woman. A man who is too nice and naive is likely to have a woman latch onto him who is domineering and driven to achieve her aims (financial gain, green card, etc.) at all costs. Nice guys for this reason too often end up with a стерва, a woman who is egocentric and uses men to satisfy her needs.