Wife split!

[ScottinCrimea]

GoodolBoy,  Sorry if my response was rather brusque, it wasn't my intent to offend.  Let me explain why I didn't agree with your post:

I doubt she has OCD. People afflicted with OCD, generally have a high FEAR of contamination or dirt. Wayne has stated "She doesn't clean....House was never so dirty before".

Most people with OCD are compulsive cleaners.

Germophobia and excessive cleaning are only one type or symptom of OCD.  While some have this symptom, most do not.  In the reference you cited, it notes that this is ONE example of an OCD, certainly not a universal one.  Most people with OCD do NOT have a high fear of contamination or dirt and most with OCD are NOT compulsive cleaners, though some are.  Much more common are the repetitive behaviors described.

I hope that clears up my disagreement with your comments.

[Ooooops]

Gator, isn't it a huge relief to be out of the dating scene?   

I'm not Gator, but I can't agree with you more!   

[GoodOlBoy]

ScottinCrimea........No problem 

[OlgaH]

National Institutes of Health
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/index.shtml
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, OCD, is an anxiety disorder and is characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions).

People with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) have persistent, upsetting thoughts (obsessions) and use rituals (compulsions) to control the anxiety these thoughts produce. Most of the time, the rituals end up controlling them.

The course of the disease is quite varied. Symptoms may come and go, ease over time, or get worse. If OCD becomes severe, it can keep a person from working or carrying out normal responsibilities at home. People with OCD may try to help themselves by avoiding situations that trigger their obsessions, or they may use alcohol or drugs to calm themselves.

[OlgaH]

OK, arm chair Psychologists!  Sometime in June, wife was excited and told me about “E”.  L had this close friend E who moved to a city that is a 3 hour drive from us.  So, this E, I am told is a Psychic and will help wife with her psychological problems, especially concerning sex.  I thought that E would just try to scam some money, but wife insisted that E would not charge her anything.  So wife made several trips to E, staying one or more overnights. 

Psychological problems concerning sex... lover... free psychologists...  staying one or more overnights with the psychologist... 

Wayne, how much do you know about the psychologists? Education degree? Practice? Phone? Address? Have you ever met "E" or talked with "E"?

[GoodOlBoy]

Psychological problems concerning sex... lover... free psychologists...  staying one or more overnights with the psychologist... 

Wayne, how much do you know about the psychologists? Education degree? Practice? Phone? Address? Have you ever met "E" or talked with "E"?

OlgaH, I was thinking the same thing when I read Wayne's latest post.

I have never heard of "staying overnight" at any psychologist's house.

Maybe this was really the "boyfriend" that she eventually left Wayne for? 

[ScottinCrimea]

Now we're hearing about psychological problems concerning sex.  Is this something else that was missed or overlooked in the 4 1/2 years before marriage?

[felix8787]

Psychological problems concerning sex... lover... free psychologists...  staying one or more overnights with the psychologist... 

Wayne, how much do you know about the psychologists? Education degree? Practice? Phone? Address? Have you ever met "E" or talked with "E"?

I don't think that he doesn't know much about "E" other then what "O"s friend told her then she told him?

[Ooooops]

When I was in college we had that practice called ловля блох (catching flees) - basically it's when you have an answer to the problem and then you recreate the way to get to that answer the best you can ( cheating in a way  ).   So that's what I see from that long post from Wayne - sleeping in a ball or liking round waist baskets doesn't qualify person as insane in my book.   And it still doesn't explain why exactly wife chosen to move out from the perfect husband's marital bed... 

[felix8787]

Now we're hearing about psychological problems concerning sex.  Is this something else that was missed or overlooked in the 4 1/2 years before marriage?

It's weird isn't it. She didn't have any psychological sexual problem's when she was in her own country but now when she came here, she has psychological problems concering sex? And she was excited to go to a "Psychic" (is this person a hand psychic?) or is this person a real psychologist?
In the 4.5 years Wayne has supported her, it looks like he didn't really know her at all.

[felix8787]

And it still doesn't explain why exactly wife chosen to move out from the perfect husband's marital bed... 

Ah, that age old question of "why". Could it be the one or more overnight's at this "Psychic's"?

Just throwing that thought out there.

 

[Doll]

Seems like she was stressed - too big change for her.
Didn't get it- what's wrong about round chair, round  waste basket and sleeping this way? Also with the car.

[Vaughn]

Before folks here start drawing conclusions based on hearsay, let's review a few things. Wayne was told
E was a Psychic - not a Psychologist. Psychics read tea leaves, palms, Tarot cards - and quite regulary
advertise their services to offer insight, advice, and sometimes predictions, regarding someone's love life,
sex life, and personal relationships.....   I do NOT see where Wayne expressed anything about his wife
having psychological problems in any fashion. Folks don't always approach psychics to solve dilemmas.
Quite often it's just a "fun" experience - one of which my own wife, I am confident, might partake with
a little prodding from her Russian girlfriends...  and so I'm reluctant to read into this too deeply.

It may have been a diversion - an excuse for her absence. And so what? We're way beyond accounting
for her whereabouts as Wayne's already announced the existence of a boyfriend.

My wife loves the color white. She has a white automobile - and it's no fluke that our new home is also white.
The fascination with "round" is a preference - and not necessarily an obsession. I could cite example after
example about my wife's preference for "white" - and make it seem obsessive - but I know it's not.

[Ulysses]

Hello Ooooops,
   I think you have a great answer to this long running issue.  Where does the "truth" lie????????????  Catching fleas has only so many rewards.   U.

[OlgaH]

Wayne was told E was a Psychic - not a Psychologist. Psychics read tea leaves, palms, Tarot cards - and quite regulary advertise their services to offer insight, advice, and sometimes predictions, regarding someone's love life, sex life, and personal relationships..... 

OK, arm chair Psychologists!  Sometime in June, wife was excited and told me about “E”.  L had this close friend E who moved to a city that is a 3 hour drive from us.  So, this E, I am told is a Psychic and will help wife with her psychological problems, especially concerning sex. 

Psychologist or Psychic?

I guess the psychic-psychologist predicted by coffee grounds her  moving to NY 

[Gator]

This thread has many lives.  After beating to death the limited information that we have from Wayne, we went in many different directions. Then Wayne gives us more information and here we go again.

I will not comment on the many tangential issues (with some opinions I concur, with others I disagree).  It is best to let those rest and instead focus on the new juicy tidbits that Wayne has provided.


I can add little:   

-  A man with 5 bathrooms and extra dining room sets is unlikely to be a pauper, so out the window goes the theory that Wayne could not afford the new life that his wife wanted.

-  Collecting dog fur is not weird; it is needed in the practice of Russian medical science. 

-  None of the RW I dated wanted to see a photo of the ex-.

-  For a man who is an artist, I do not detect the traits normally associated with right brain thinkers.

-  The sex angle could be a large part of the riddle, yet its discussion approaches TMI.

Thanks Wayne for keeping this going.  What is the record for most pages in a thread?

[Gator]

Scott, I am happy to be out of the dating scene.  I guess I am not hardwired for frequent sex with different partners and instead value family, companionship and emotional connection.

[Vaughn]

I guess the psychic-psychologist predicted by coffee grounds her  moving to NY 

Coffee grounds, tea leaves, maybe...  one thing's for certain:

There aren't many "round" blocks in the 5 boroughs of NYC.

[OlgaH]

Seems like she was stressed - too big change for her.

and she found an extramarital affair to be a best way to release her stress 

[felix8787]

I do NOT see where Wayne expressed anything about his wife
having psychological problems in any fashion.

OK, arm chair Psychologists!  Sometime in June, wife was excited and told me about “E”.  L had this close friend E who moved to a city that is a 3 hour drive from us.  So, this E, I am told is a Psychic and will help wife with her psychological problems, especially concerning sex.

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this in expression?
He doesn't mention what kind of psychological problem but acknowledges that there is one with her.

[felix8787]

and she found an extramarital affair to be a best way to release her stress 

Different strokes for different folks.

[Misha]

Her dog had very long fur and when the weather got warm, wife cut the dogs hair very short.  She had saved all the dog fur and had it in a plastic bag in the closet.

Dog hair can be spun as wool. I have heard of people in Russia (and once in Canada) collecting dog hair in such a fashion, having it spun and then using this wool to knit mittens, a toque/hat or perhaps even a (small) sweater depending on the quantity of wool produced.

[OlgaH]

Coffee grounds, tea leaves, maybe...  one thing's for certain:

There aren't many "round" blocks in the 5 boroughs of NYC.

It is not a big problem for a person who has a strong desire 

BTW, I recall one Russian joke about "round house"

A man hires an architect for new house project: "House must be round and every room in house must be round, everything around must be round... everything must be round!!" Being perplexed architect asks "Excuse me please, but why round?" 
"Because my mother in law every day nags: Will you find a corner for me in your new house?"

[ares]

Wayne, I'm so sorry to hear this devastating news. I feel your pain. I wish we could hear both sides of this. I wish  you could sit and speak with her in a civil way to understand what brought this on and if possible get beyond the anger. This could happen to any of us.  As I understand it, you are way past that. It's NOT easy to judge when we don't have all the facts from both sides.  In this case you present us, if you can prove she scammed you and unknown to you it was a marriage of convenience, file an annulment to the marriage and buy her a one way ticket home.  Get some legal council, speak to your attorney and if you are beyond giving her a second chance,  start the annulment.  This is kinda news always shatters trust and puts questions in all our minds, I hear it all to often. If you are smart you will Block the green card by reporting her ASAP to USCIS. They will deny the card bassed on your testimony. DO it now!

Best of luck
Mishenka

Mishenka, you're a genius! I don't think any of us here on RWD could add anything to your professional advice. 

[Mishenka]

Mishenka, you're a genius! I don't think any of us here on RWD could add anything to your professional advice. 

Well, ares,
the bloggers in this thread certainly have   True, I can not add anything to my previous post. This is precisely why I haven't posted again. I spent many years as a marriage and family councilor. First I see them together, then separate for a while, then together again after we work through some issues. In many cases if not all  COMMUNICATION is the main issue along with MISUNDERSTANDING, and listening is the culprit. I'm not talking about language barriers, I'm speaking to the issue of communication exercises, of which LISTENING is most important. This is the reason God gave us 2 ears and one mouth. We should listen twice as much as we speak. I would advise all to exercise listening and become more attentive to our partners, then after thinking a while, respond with a thoughtful answer. To many times instead of listening, we are thinking of a smart response to something our partner said and miss 90% of the words that were spoken. Then we turn away frustrated and angry, building a retaining wall to hold in all our emotions, that separate us instead of a building a home where we can live together. Where is the love?

We can build a case for or against someone very easily with little information.  Are they really red flags or cultural misunderstandings? For every action, there is a reaction. They build up until there is so much water under the bridge you can't untangle the web spun around you like a cocoon, all you want is OUT, so there she goes. Now Wayne sits with an empty nest.  In all fairness to Wayne, some women can not be satisfied. In this case, she is most likely one of them.

Mishenka