Christmas Holidays with a RW

[Gator]

I was wondering what men married to non-believers have observed about their wives and Christmas.

This is the first Christmas that I have spent with my non-religious wife in America.  Our other Christmas holidays were in non-Christian countries (Thailand, Egypt, Russia).  I do not attend church services, yet I consider myself Christian,

Yesterday when driving to the Black Friday shopping frenzy, I switched the station on her car radio from Latin music to Christmas music.  She asked, “What is this?”  Other than a Nat King Cole song the music is completely new.  Of course the lyrics of the religious songs meant zilch.  Although I always knew I was married to a heathen, the fact has now become so apparent. 

So I wonder how the season will progress as we near Christmas Day.  Will the Christmas spirit eventually overtake her?  Or will I lose some of my usual Christmas spirit? 

Not to fear, last evening I heard her 11-yo daughter (who has music talent) singing Jingle Bells.  Then her smiling daughter comes to me with a plan for decorating the outside of the house (my quick estimate, $5000).  Today I brought from storage some wrapping paper and that got the girl going with a huge smile.  A tree will be something as they never had a real tree before.

So I guess with prompting from her children and my gentle persuasion, my heathen wife will get into Christmas.  Will it be more like New Year’s Holidays in Russia or will it take on the true spirit of Christmas? 

Her son is already questioning me why Christmas is in December and not January.  Even the concept of gifts is different.  I explain that we will wrap the gifts and place them under the tree.  She says, “No, you do not let them stay under the tree and tease and torment children for days.  You hide them and bring them out on New Year’s - sorry, Christmas.”

One aspect definitely will be better this year.  My wife has invited a number of her RW friends for New Year’s Eve party at our house.  So New Year’s will be Russian style.  Now that is something to look forward to. 

[Vaughn]

Gator,

  Man, I really enjoyed reading your post. Our first Christmas together was in 2002, and we were
not yet married. Everything then was new to her - including Yuletide.

  She has taken to Chistmas season in a big way. The music, the lights, the spirit that is the season.
Whenever "O Holy Night" plays on the radio, she says, "There's your Papa's song..." It was his favorite.

  Elvira also sees through the economic side of the holiday. Although we do exchange gifts she
understands the holiday's significance NOT to be one of simple overspending, but of reverence
and good will.

  If you would, Gator, PM me your mailing address - we would like to welcome your lovely to
America with a heartfelt Christmas card....

[GoodOlBoy]

Gator, have no fears. I am sure your wife will start getting into the Christmas spirit soon. This is Marina's 4th Christmas and she has already asked me when we are going to go get the tree. She has already been to the store and purchased new ornaments to decorate it with!

The first Christmas was rough. But we don't have kids. IMHO, I think the kids will probably bring your wife around quicker to the concept of Christmas.

We also celebrate Christmas on January 7th (Russian Christmas). We do not take our tree down until after that day. Consequently, the tree is like a dried out piece of kindling.

If anybody's interested I found a pretty good article about Russian Christmas: http://russian-crafts.com/customs/christmas.html

[Gator]

Vaughn and GoodOlBoy,

Thanks for the encouragement.

A card would be splendid as well as her first.  Sent you a PM with my mail address.  Who knows?  maybe she will want to send cards next year.

[Vaughn]

I just received notice that our tree goes up today!

Now, decorating the tree - that's the part she loves.

[Blues Fairy]

Nothing gets me into the True Christmas Spirit like this song:

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksOCE5S_Bec&feature=related[/youtube]

[UTRO]

Gator, I would say to your wife that she doesn't have to necessarily be a 'believer' to experience the Joy and Celebration that Christmas offers. Frankly, most people don't these days. I'm sure she'll get caught up in the Spirit now that Thanksgiving is over and Christmas goes full swing! With smiling and laughing Kids around, she'll have no choice!!

[Mir]

Our other Christmas holidays were in non-Christian countries (Thailand, Egypt, Russia).

?

[Gator]

Blues Fairy,

Thanks for the song.  I will sing it with her kids tonight.   

[Doll]

Will it be more like New Year’s Holidays in Russia or will it take on the true spirit of Christmas? 

Probably still New Year's spirit but it is OK. I do believe in God but X-mas is still more like the end/beginning of a year for me. It is OK as there is same tree, same presents and so on.
I also was against an  early tree and wrapped gifts under the three- now I am decorating the house . Now- today  And the gifts will be under the tree very soon. We are changing, Gator.

[GQBlues]

This will be our 4th Christmas together. I am too much a kid at heart when Christmas season comes around and luckily my wife not only took after me but actually adopted this seasonal holiday deeply. So much so she feels a letdown when the 6th of January arrives marking the end of the season.

She gets excited on Thanksgiving weekend which marks the beginning of the traditional x'mas preparation...going out and acquiring, then decorating our Christmas tree. She then invites friends up for eggnog and mulled wine sometime the week after to spark the spirit. From Christmas list (we give each other Santa wish list aside from personal surprises to each other) to stocking stuffers, midnight mass, card mailing, friends and relative visitation, etc...to getting into the spirit by dusting off Christmas music CDs. Her favorite is Manheim S. Orchestra ( though I'm still partial to the old school carols of Crosby, NK Cole, Mathis, Sinatra, Carpenters).

This year, she plans on complimenting her gift giving by making and adding fragrant soap and candles.

She's gone leaps and bounds since her first as I remember my wife didn't even know how to properly wrap presents...now she knows at least 4 variations on how to make beautiful and colorful bows from scratch...Thank goodness for Michael's as this had become her favorite source for ribbons....

I thought I was the only eternal kid at heart when it comes to Christmas, but my wife definitely upped the ante.

Poinsettias, wreath, jingles and all the bells!

Gator, maybe I'll ask the missus to register and let her tell you herself what this season has become for her - and us.

It's Christmas time and may you all find the heart to give the gift of love!

A Very Merry Holiday Cheers to everyone!

[catzenmouse]

If you would, Gator, PM me your mailing address - we would like to welcome your lovely to
America with a heartfelt Christmas card....

We would also like this information if you don't mind.

[roykirk]

We won't get to celebrate our first Christmas together in the U.S. until next year, but I'm traveling to Russia at the end of December to spend New Years Day and then Russian Christmas with her.  I'm excited to experience my first Russian Christmas! 

[Ooooops]

Gator, if you don't go to church then what Xmass spirit are you afraid to lose with your non-believer wife?    As for the presents - ain't Santa Clause suppose to slip down the chimney at Xmas night?       All those Xmass sales in the middle of October has no Xmas spirit to me either, just another way to sell more stuff and make more money...   

[groovlstk]

This sounds really juvenile but one of the great pleasures of our first Christmas together was introducing my wife to all the old favorite Christmas TV programs (Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, Year w/out a Santa Claus, Rudolph, Frosty, etc.). She loves them all, although her fave is a more recent one, Polar Express.

[roykirk]

This sounds really juvenile but one of the great pleasures of our first Christmas together was introducing my wife to all the old favorite Christmas TV programs (Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, Year w/out a Santa Claus, Rudolph, Frosty, etc.). She loves them all, although her fave is a more recent one, Polar Express.

Ah, good point!  I suppose I should take my DVD of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation over with me!   

[Gator]

Gator, if you don't go to church then what Xmass spirit are you afraid to lose with your non-believer wife? 

 

If you are asking that question, I presume your family did not observe Christmas when you were young nor have you raised children and seen their joy at Christmas. 

So much gets imprinted in our youth (I was raised as a Baptist with multiple church activities each week).  After my youth, I have always observed the Christmas holiday, less for religious reasons but more for the time when families gather with love and a sense of peace and goodwill to all. 

And then having children makes Christmas even more special.

As for the presents - ain't Santa Clause suppose to slip down the chimney at Xmas night?

When your children are very young and believe in Santa, one does that.  It was not easy, having to assemble toys after midnight with a "load on."  The Russian Father Frost makes more sense, ringing the door bell early in the night on New Year's Eve.

All those Xmass sales in the middle of October has no Xmas spirit to me either, just another way to sell more stuff and make more money...   

Yes there are powerful commercial aspects at Christmas.  However, as with love, the Christmas joy comes from giving not receiving.

[AnastassiaAsh]

It will certainly take several years for your woman to truly adopt American holidays. It definitely took me some time. I never cared about Thanksgiving, but last two years celebrations turned out great. Our family will celebrate Christmas on the 25th and New Years Russian style of course.  I am sure the realization of her citizenship of this country won't play the last role in this adjustment. As to presents, I always loved a sight of a beautiful Xmas tree with lots of presents under it. Wrapping them is always fun too, although takes all of this time to do it, a little bit every weekend, gradually. Yesterday we started out decorations...

[roykirk]

I agree very much with what Gator has to say.  I'm not religious, but actually much closer to being an atheist.  Some people question how I can love the Christmas holiday and yet be an atheist.  For me, it has nothing to do with celebrating Christ's birth, it has to do with that special time of family coming together.  As for my future, I don't know whether we'll be teaching our kids about Ded Moroz or Santa Claus.  Or maybe we'll just tell them the truth:



 

[Sculpto]

The holidays are not always easy for me.  Being a non-Christian in America basically means you get Christmas stuffed down your throat whether you want it or not.  I never enjoyed Christmas until I spent one in Mexico where the entire month of December plus half of January is spent eating, drinking, visiting friends and relatives, singing, giving gifts and blowing up fireworks.  I have grown to love the holiday, but, as odd as it might sound to a lot of you guys, I have never decorated a Christmas Tree.  I am not against it at all and hope we might be able to create our own version of Chrismikah...

I really love Thanksgiving though and I dread the thought of the significance of the day being lost.  I called my girl on TG day and she was not aware it was a holiday and had never heard about Thanksgiving. 

[Ooooops]

If you are asking that question, I presume your family did not observe Christmas when you were young nor have you raised children and seen their joy at Christmas. 

The answers are No and No, but I consider myself Christian just like you.   

Yes there are powerful commercial aspects at Christmas.  However, as with love, the Christmas joy comes from giving not receiving.

Is it necessary to give material things to feel love doing it?      I was talking about consumerisms in modern societies.    I don't have kids but I do see rooms full of toys in our friends house, that get played with once in the blue moon and thrown away with a truck load after collecting dust for a while.   And I just don't get it...   

[Ooooops]

Oh, and one more thing - being non-believer doesn't make somebody an active atheist, does it?      Or imagine the situation when husband and wife are from different religions (although, that will probably never happened with true believers).    So I don't see any problems with celebrating Xmas with somebody who didn't grow up going to Mass every Sunday....

[AnastassiaAsh]

(although, that will probably never happened with true believers).   

Yes, hopefully....you caught that right. 

[mark2353]

  So I don't see any problems with celebrating Xmas with somebody who didn't grow up going to Mass every Sunday....

It can make life very difficult! Your other 1/2 and their friends are constantly trying to set a Exorcistism ceremony for you!

[Ooooops]

It can make life very difficult! Your other 1/2 and their friends are constantly trying to set a Exorcistism ceremony for you!

Tell them that if they won't stop harassing you your mark2353 will turn into mark666 and then they'll be in biiiiiiig trouble!