Dr. Jeckyll or Mr. Hyde

[adamsure]

As I have admitted a couple of times before at this noble forum, I am a newbee to this. And the most valuable thing for a newbee in anything is information.

So, where to find reliable information and advice?

Searching the internet there is everything form good information to utterly mumbojumbo. The same goes for this forum.

Who should a newbee listen to for advice? The guy who claims to know everything about RW dating because his has been doing it for the last 10 years, just been unlucky so far, or the guy who did it once, with success?

In most other matters in life it is normal to get professional help when a good result is desired, but on this forum it seems to be a great deal of resistance agaist using professional agencies. Do it yourself seems to be the mantra.

I do of course realize that doing everything by your own is a possibility.

But, I can also cut my hair by myself, but I choose to go to a hairdresser. I can bake my own bread, but choose to buy it.
I can even pull out a tooth myself, but a dentist is probably better at it.

Why is the resistance and objections against service providers so hard? I agree that there is a lot of firms out here running plain fraud, but that goes for all kinds of businesses. Check the FBI lists and Better Business Bureaus.

There are obvious reasons to be careful, but there seems to be a fair amout of plain out parania to!

In the RW dating world there are thousands and thousands of people involved some way or another. But the level of professionalism seems to be rather moderate. There may be a lot of firms wich are really good at squizing money from people, but it is not that kind of professionalism I am thinking about.

I had to look long and well to find a firm that satisfied my criterias, but really good professional firms do excist.

And who are all these persons giving advice on boards like this. It seems like those who has the hardest comments has very little constructive to say. There are a lot of warnings about professional daters in Russia and Ukraine, but it is easy to get the impression that there are a lot of professional daters at this end to!

After having looked thru questions asked by neewbees on this forum, many has got decent answers where other members has given their best advice. Very good!

But there are also a considerably amount of answers wich just seems to be written without advice in mind!

Summarizing, many newbees may be where they started. Confused.

Back to my question, who should we listen to? Nobody, maybe? 

By the way, the last time you was in Russia, who was actually flying that plane?

Dr. Jeckyll, or Mister Hyde?

[Gator]

Adam,

You are correct that one can receive a wide array of advice.  Yet if someone gives bad advice, others will speak up.  Also, no one will ever know your situation as well as you do, so only you can sort through the array and decide what is best for you.

And when you go to the FSU, you will be on your own.  You will have to make "battlefield" decisions.


Whom to trust?  There is no infallible giver of advice, so reader beware.  For example, the married men seemingly would know a ton about RW, yet because they have not written RW nor dated in a long time, they are probably bad sources for how to find a RW in today's changing scene.

The archives are an abundant source of info.

Have you read the RWD FAQ's (upper left)?

[groovlstk]

Who should a newbee listen to for advice? The guy who claims to know everything about RW dating because his has been doing it for the last 10 years, just been unlucky so far, or the guy who did it once, with success?

If you hang around long enough and get a "feel" for different posters and their history, you can differentiate between each person's experience and appreciate what they have to offer. A guy who has been dating FSU women for 10 years may not be the best source to turn to for relationship advice, but he can probably tell you 5 different ways to get from SVO1 to SVO2 for 1/30th of the cost a taxi driver will charge you, knows the ins and outs of apartment rentals in all the major cities, etc., - in short he has a lot to offer in the area of logistics and probably has a great perspective on how the dating scene has changed in the FSU over the last 10 years.

In most other matters in life it is normal to get professional help when a good result is desired, but on this forum it seems to be a great deal of resistance agaist using professional agencies. Do it yourself seems to be the mantra.

I do of course realize that doing everything by your own is a possibility.

But, I can also cut my hair by myself, but I choose to go to a hairdresser. I can bake my own bread, but choose to buy it.
I can even pull out a tooth myself, but a dentist is probably better at it.

Why is the resistance and objections against service providers so hard? I agree that there is a lot of firms out here running plain fraud, but that goes for all kinds of businesses. Check the FBI lists and Better Business Bureaus.

There is an entirely different set of rules for doing business with service providers in Russia or Ukraine. Basically, there are no rules, and you as a Westerner are seen as a plump, foolish, and easy mark. You have no option to check FBI lists and you can't complain to the BBB if you get rooked, which will surely happen to you if you stay in this game long enough. Some of it you have to accept, but by playing it smart you can minimize your losses.

As for using a matchmaking agency like you wrote about in your initial post, I can speak only for myself but I'd venture to guess that the majority of guys have a bit of an aversion to any third party being so heavily involved in such an important personal decision as deciding who you should and shouldn't date.

[adamsure]

There is a lot of sence in what you are writing, but it also point to the problem.

A newbee will probably not invest the time necessary to learn the different posters to know. For those who has this almost as a hobby its probably easy to know who is worth listening to and whos not. So for people like me who just does not have the time for that, a forum like this may not be the right place to get info, specially if asking for advice instead of merely reading.

Personally I would never use a agency in Russia or Ukraine. I have been using a European firm, and they has been doing everything as promised so far. Excellent service.

I do understand the privacy issues when using a agency, but there seems to be little or no reluctance using interpretors who in fact is sitting in the midst of the whole date.

( Yes, I understand the issues dating somebody that does not speak english...)

Well, I am off to Ukraine for a date  , leaving in less than three hours, and coming back monday.

Thank you so far getlemen, and have a nice weekend! ( Yes, I know its only thursday too, but still... )

[Misha]

So for people like me who just does not have the time for that...

Well, if you do not have the time for that, I would encourage you to really think whether you are ready for a wife from another country. If you do succeed in finding the one, an international relationship takes a LOT of time. Everything from the immigration paperwork to helping her adjust to life in a new country.

[ChrisBfla]

I spent a good deal of time with my future wife's family and her daughter who was 10 at the time.  I think you can get a good sense of the person by how they act in a family situation.  If the girl or woman is reluctant to spend time with you and her parents or sister, then maybe she's trying to hide something from you.  I consider my wife's parents to be really excellent people.  Anyway, that's my 2 cents.

Chris

[2tallbill]

There is a lot of sence in what you are writing, but it also point to the problem.

A newbee will probably not invest the time necessary to learn the different posters to know. For those who has this almost as a hobby its probably easy to know who is worth listening to and whos not. So for people like me who just does not have the time for that, a forum like this may not be the right place to get info, specially if asking for advice instead of merely reading.

If a newbee doesn't do the research then he reduces his chances of success. The crazy
thing about this process is there are a thousand approaches and the cRaZier thing is that
even the stupidest approaches occasionally work.

If you don't have time to do the research then you certainly don't have the time to fall on your
@SS

Just my two kopecks,

Bill