DEC NEWBIE

[flga]

Hello everyone,
 
     I am 44 years old, divorced, with 0 kids and 3 dogs. I live in a small town in Indiana, which appears to be a strike against me already from what I read   .  I am retired and getting ready to start my next career. Financially I'm OK, not rich but not hurting either. I'm treading water here looking for advice and/or guidance from the local experts. After looking through some of these stories maybe it would be better to just take up drinking again instead .

[Enot]

Don't worry about the size ... of your city!   My wife is from a a city of over 700,000.  My city is about 50,000.  She is happy and likes my city very much.  Just stay away from women from mega sized cities like Moscow, St. Petersburg, and Kiev.

[Blues Fairy]

Just stay away from women from mega sized cities like Moscow, St. Petersburg, and Kiev.

Ohhh not that c**p again.  :seething:

[philb]

Ohhh not that c**p again.  :seething:

Yeah, I listened to that c**p at first.     That's why it took me 6 trips to Ukraine and Russia before I even met my wife, who is from Kiev.   

[flga]

I have already meet lady one from St Petersburg  who said she wanted the city life and thats fine. I was just  glad she was up front about it early. I guess by reading and paying attention to the small print in the hobbies/like to do  section you can get a feel for who will and wont downsize. Then again I've been wrong  :cluebat:before

[Enot]

You are correct flga.  Most mega city girls won't like your small town atmosphere.

[kryten41]

If a woman interests you, it doesn't hurt to ask.  Some people who live in big cities dream of small town life. Some people who live in small towns dream of living in big cities.  I think you hit the nail on the head with the comment about looking at hobbies and interests--if her interests are all about nightlife she might not be a good choice if you live in an area that rolls up the sidewalks at sundown. 

[Enot]

I think you hit the nail on the head with the comment about looking at hobbies and interests--if her interests are all about nightlife she might not be a good choice if you live in an area that rolls up the sidewalks at sundown. 

Yes but some people don't believe this ... of course they are the ones that married someone from a mega city or are currently living in one.

I think I will state my opinion again since someone reminded me of it.

If I wasn't married and looking for a woman from the FSU, I wouldn't look in Russsia or the big cities and the Ukraine.  It has been my experience that women that get a K-1 or K-3 visa that don't arrive in the USA (breaking off a relationship) are from Russia and the big cities of the Ukraine.  I would increase my odds of being successful and only coorespond with women from other countries of the FSU like Belarus, Moldova, and Uzbekistan.  I've never heard of a woman not using a K-1 or K-3 visa from these countries.

[Jooky]

Hmmm...

Enot, I think you've got it backwards. Breaking off a K-1 or K-3 is a good thing! It shows more contemplation and less desperation when making a final decision of whether to come to the US and marry or not. Sure, it's a pain to deal with this in the 'process', but it's a good check for those who are too hasty.

If girls from villages and poor countries are more ready to commit and keep their commitment, that doesn't indicate success.

Success isn't just getting a girl to marry you. It's finding the right girl to happily marry you. 

PS. I strongly disagree with avoiding the big cities. Kryten has it right:

Some people who live in big cities dream of small town life. Some people who live in small towns dream of living in big cities.

Many girls from the smaller cities dream of Moscow life, while many who live Moscow life dream of getting the hell out of there! 

[Blues Fairy]

It has been my experience that women that get a K-1 or K-3 visa that don't arrive in the USA (breaking off a relationship) are from Russia and the big cities of the Ukraine.

Probably because these girls have lower tolerance for arrogant idiots.

[Misha]

I would increase my odds of being successful and only coorespond with women from other countries of the FSU like Belarus, Moldova, and Uzbekistan.  I've never heard of a woman not using a K-1 or K-3 visa from these countries.

How do you define successful? I take it you haven't been reading the Wayne thread. Sure, he was VEEEEERYYYYYYY successful bringing his wife over. The problem is that she did not stick around for very long  Jooky is correct. The only measure of success is being happily married when the woman already has her status and does not need to be with her husband other than for love.

[groovlstk]

How many more "here we go agains" can we dredge up in one thread? Two and counting, so far. Someone pass me that bottle of Jameson's on the shelf to the left.

[I/O]

How many more "here we go agains" can we dredge up in one thread? Two and counting, so far. Someone pass me that bottle of Jameson's on the shelf to the left.

Too late Bud, I drained the bottle after reading the opening post. Did someone mention age gaps...............?

Flga: Yep, stick to the drinking, Russian men have a reputation for doing just that, ever wonder why?

I/O

[Enot]

Ohhh not that c**p again.  :seething:

Yes I know, the only opinion that counts is yours and everyone else's opinion is "crap".  You have to open your mind and consider other possibilites.  This process worked for me, why not for others? 

Open youir mind and don't be so negative.  I give the same advise to philb, groovlstk, Jooky, and Mishka

[groovlstk]

Yes I know, the only opinion that counts is yours and everyone else's opinion is "crap".  You have to open your mind and consider other possibilites.  This process worked for me, why not for others? 

Open youir mind and don't be so negative.  I give the same advise to philb, groovlstk, Jooky, and Mishka

With myopic opinions like these:

Just stay away from women from mega sized cities like Moscow, St. Petersburg, and Kiev.

You might want to look in the mirror next time you advise someone else to open their mind.

I've never heard of a woman not using a K-1 or K-3 visa from these countries.

Yes, there's a member named Wayne here, you can check his LONG thread out in another discussion area. He can vouch for the value of a woman who will never say no to a K1 

[Jooky]

Thanks Enot. My close minded negative advice is to search for women from ANY city. 

In another thread today Turbo mentioned staying away from the big cities, with an example of a small city girl who couldn't get a date back home, but had marriage proposals galor (from online suitors, I assume) when she moved to Moscow.

Best to search where the women are more desperate, I guess. That seems to be the attitude of most men in this search. It's no wonder so many end up married to someone who doesn't love or care for them and even resents the fact that this poor guy is all she could get.

Finding a woman who will marry you because she has no other options is not a good thing!

I really do appreciate that Russian women are in general easy to approach. But, I also like to know that the women I meet have plenty of other choices besides me. Competition is great. You should be the right choice for your future wife, not her last resort.

[Misha]

Open youir mind and don't be so negative.  I give the same advise to philb, groovlstk, Jooky, and Mishka

Even though it is Misha (Mishka is a cutesy way of referring to a bear. Sometimes my wife will refer to me as her mishka, but I would prefer that you do not refer tome in this way LOL). Nonetheless, I take it as a compliment to be lumped in with Phil, Groov and Jooky. 

[Enot]

I see my post didn't open anyone's eyes.  Why can't you entertain the idea of a woman from Moscow or another mega city could not be happy in small town America?  Why can't you entain the thought of finding a woman in a different country other than Russia or the Ukraine?  There are many ways to find love and a bride.  I find it astonishing that eveyone thinks you can only find a woman from from Russia or the Ukraine.

Yes you can find the right woman from any country or city.  But if you live in a smal town like flga, the odds of a mega city girl adjusting is less than 50/50.  Increase your odds by trying a girl from Belarus, Moldova, or Uzbekistan.

All I'm saying is entertain the thought of other's opinion.  You might learn something.

[Blues Fairy]

I find it astonishing that eveyone thinks you can only find a woman from from Russia or the Ukraine

Who says that?  Please quote.

The only one advising to limit the search area is actually you Enot.  And you accuse others of close-mindedness.  

[Jooky]

Why can't you entertain the idea of a woman from Moscow or another mega city could not be happy in small town America?

It's you that can't entertain the idea of a woman from Moscow being happy in a small town.

There are many different women in Moscow, many who came from smaller cities and small towns. What do you know about these big cities you advise men to avoid? Have you lived there? Have you dated women from these big cities? Where do you come up with your 50/50 chance, and what does that mean? Does that mean that half of the women in Moscow would be happy living in a small town and half would not?

What do you mean by increasing your odds? Do you mean, reduce your competition because there are less men searching in the areas you specifically recommend?

Like Blues Fairy said, you're the only one advising men to limit their search.

All the guy has to do is tell the women he's looking for that he's from a small town. That will weed out the (honest) women interested in big city life. It's not that hard.

PS. The population of my town is 30,000 and I've had several Muscovite visitors who would live here in a heartbeat.

[Enot]

Okay, ignore everything I said because you think it is "crap".  But it is my opinion and a different way to find love.

My point is, open you mind to alternative ways of finding love.  There is no right way or wrong way ... there are many ways but I now know some people can't be educated or accept these different ideas or opinions.

[Misha]

Okay, ignore everything I said because you think it is "crap".  But it is my opinionand a different way to find love.

If the goal is to find love and you go to Moldova because you like the country and the people and the culture that is great. If the goal is to find a country where the women are more desperate, that is not so great...

[Jooky]

Enot, what is your 'different way to find love'? Can you explain what new idea you're trying to educate us with? All you've said is to exclude big cities. How is that opening your mind to an alternative? It's simply cutting out an option, not opening a new alternative.

Can you answer the other questions I posed above?

When I first searched for women online I didn't exclude small cities or lesser travelled countries. I met women in several smaller cities and I almost went to Belarus. I didn't meet any women from Moscow in person during this search, but that doesn't mean for me that other men should exclude Moscow!

[Blues Fairy]

My point is, open you mind to alternative ways of finding love.  There is no right way or wrong way ...

Then why would you advise to keep away from big cities, if you believe "there's no wrong way?"  

[Stirlitz]

Ohhh not that c**p again.

What is a c**p? I am being stupid…

Gotcha! S**t, I am indeed stupid