where can I meet a real man?

[Misha]

There is a saying in my country;

" The past does not foretell the present or the future".

Which country is this exactly? The Republic of Ambach? A google search did not produce this saying anywhere   Sorry to disappoint you, but past behavior is the best predictor of future events. Yes, there are unexpected events from time to time, but they are rare, virtually nonexistent.

We went through five years of economic expansion, the biggest this country has ever seen in its history. The expansion was built on a credit bubble, which bursted. I tend to believe that the present and the future would be totally different. In the past there was almost full employment, if Americans themselves are unemployed, they are unlikely to give a RW a job.

Do you really think it was the first bubble? Bubbles have been around for centuries. Yes, they leave an economic mess behind, but countries and economies do recover. Also, what you are saying does not make sense. You write: "if Americans themselves are unemployed, they are unlikely to give a RW a job." People who are unemployed don't give anybody jobs regardless of whether they are American, Russian or Martian. Yes, American unemployment is going up, but that does not mean that all jobs will disappear. Some companies will survive and they will continue hiring people. The companies that make it through a recession will then be better place to thrive afterward, and new companies will emerge that will in turn hire new people.  

The relevant point is that most Americans realize this. I have talked to many men acquaintances of mine about RW, almost all of them said the same thing, that in this climate, they would be unwilling to bring a RW here, because of financial reasons.

You see, some people don't shop for a RW, but marry women that we love and who love us. The trick is to pick a woman with whom you would be living to live through a depression  

[Misha]

I don't believe in a relationship without truly sharing a common language. This is why I would recommend AM to look for RW who are fluent in English. Higher employability is an added bonus 

I agree, though some men are fluent in Russian (rare as that may be).

[Gator]

Every step of the way since your arrival here, your method for finding a RW, wooing her, and marrying and keeping her has as its basis one sort of economic entrapment or another. I don't know if it's because you have so little faith in whatever else you have to offer a woman, but if you honestly think that your fiancee is going to remain faithfully married to you simply because she'll be trading desperate economic straits in Ukraine for a sort of negotiated comfort in the US - you'll be in for a sad awakening some day.

That's saying it like it is.  

Ambach, if you do marry, please NEVER give your woman the impression that she should be grateful just because you are a White Knight.  Don't even think it.  If she is your wife and you are building a life together, you should treat her as an equal partner regardless of her past before she met you.  

The consequence of acting like a White Knight would be adverse.   It belittles them.  A RW has a lot of pride.  They are not inferior - their economic problem is only because of the time and place where they were born.  You are lucky to have been born in a land of opportunity.  Injure her pride and you will pay in many ways, some not so obvious, and it will be more than resentment.  Besides, it subtracts from love.

Make her feel loved and special, always.

[Gator]

Ambach,

I forgot to add a point in my post above. 

You are correct that marrying and supporting a RW is not inexpensive.  It has cost more than I had thought, and I gave it careful thought. 

So be absolutely sure that you can afford this endeavor.  And place a large contingency in your budget.

What is interesting is that when you encounter a difficult time like the current Great Recession, RW in their 30s have had plenty of experience in cutting back and surviving on less.  They will be a help.

[Moonlight]

I wonder why you are all out of topic ?    I understand economy issues are important now but the subject was WHere can I meen a real man and not How does RW survive with her AM husband 

[BC]

I wonder why you are all out of topic ?    I understand economy issues are important now but the subject was WHere can I meen a real man and not How does RW survive with her AM husband 

Ja, ist ein bischen komisch.. aber wass kann man erwarten von ein haufen verheirateter maenner die nichts anders zu tun haben als herumzusitzen und sich gegenzeitig anmeckern..

Dass sind die 'gute' maenner LOL!

[mspanky]

 Ambach, after living in the U.S. and watching shows like this where men with "real money" are having Half a million dollar weddings do you really think a woman who marries for financial gain will be happy with just "average"? Bad economy or not!

 She'll want to obtain what these brides did. http://www.wetv.com/platinum-weddings/episodes

Judging from the pictures of the couples many of these "rich" guys are marrying pretty average looking girls. A RW who is not 100% happy with her husband might be a very exotic "dreamgirl" for a guy with tons of cash who does not care if his wife can bring home the bacon.

[felix8787]

I wonder why you are all out of topic ?    I understand economy issues are important now but the subject was WHere can I meen a real man and not How does RW survive with her AM husband 

Hey moonlight,
I will give this a shot for you
I used a-international and luckylovers, currently I don't use either of them, I do still have a profile with a-international but there is nothing on there.
From reading your post, you are intelligent and I believe you said good looking, ready to settle down with a "real man" and live a long a fruitful life. So far a lot of members posted which sites to go and put a profile on their sites to get more traffic of guys, now the choice is up to you on whether these guys are "real man".
I swear, it is hard to say what a real man is...everyone has their own opinions of what they are, but it comes down to what you think a "real man" is.
Is a real man a "REAL MAN" if he:
Makes decisions whether good or bad.
Can say he's sorry about a wrong that he did.
Talk about his feelings toward his loved one.
Listen to his loved one.
Take responsibility.
Support his loved one with her goals.
Can he take criticisms and amend his faults.
There is probably so much more to this list it's unbelievable. But the flip side is that there is also a list of what not makes a man a "real man". Moonlight FWIW, a "real man" can come from anywhere in the world, it's just how you perceive what a "real man" is.

felix8787  

[Moonlight]

Felix - thank you for good post.


Well, as everyone has noticed - Im indeed well-educated, interesting person. I do consider myself as a good catch,  - despite of following advice from someone, i have PhD and Masters in two different fields, and if a man get threatened by wit and mind of woman, then he should go by :-)   Im not looking for someone who would sponsor me, as Im smart enough to make money by myself. All im looking for is "femine happiness", which is family, baby. I will follow the advice to register on as much sites as i can, probably RussianEuro will be the first as of course its much closer, and insprite of spending lots of time in the US, European man are closer by culture and by mentality. But i do agree - you never know where you will find your love. It may happen any time. Im just still being a bit sad that time is ticking, Im 29 now and I desparetly want some other goals in my life apart from developing career...

If you have more to say, or to advice -im looking for it 

[BC]

If you have more to say, or to advice -im looking for it 

You are 7 years too late...

 

[Misha]

i have PhD and Masters in two different fields

Have you thought of simply attending an academic conference? If you can't get a visa to attend a conference in Europe or North America, you could try to find an international conference in Russia that will attract scholars from around the world.

[felix8787]

Moonlight - your welcome,
I will try to be as helpful as I can be! .
I must say though, we all consider ourselves good catches or else we wouldn't be doing what we are doing. Moonlight please don't take this the wrong way.....but I personally don't care if you have a PhD or a Masters....a piece of papers doesn't guarantee whether I will have a successful relationship with that person, the only thing that piece of paper does guarantee is getting you a good job. OTOH, I wouldn't want a lady who's only concern in life is waiting for next's month issue of Cosmopolitan either.

Felix - thank you for good post.


i have PhD and Masters in two different fields, and if a man get threatened by wit and mind of woman, then he should go by :-) 

I personally wouldn't feel threaten by this, if anything I would welcome it and enjoy tickling that brain for insight and creativity. If a man has an issue with you having more degrees then him, I would think that he has some sort of inferior complex, wouldn't you agree?

I'm not looking for someone who would sponsor me, as Im smart enough to make money by myself. All im looking for is "femine happiness", which is family, baby.

But here's the thing with this, this person will have to support/sponser you at the beginning until you get the go ahead from the government and card to be able to work. Yeah it may be frustrating at first but give it some time and you will be running in no time.
As we men are also looking for that "male happiness" to: good wife, family and baby/children if there are children from previous relationships. These things in life is hard to come by as not all that we meet want this "female/male happiness".

I will follow the advice to register on as much sites as i can, probably RussianEuro will be the first as of course its much closer, and insprite of spending lots of time in the US, European man are closer by culture and by mentality. But i do agree - you never know where you will find your love. It may happen any time.

They do say that opposites attract  . Just because they are closer by culture and by mentality doesn't always mean that it is the right path for you to take. Take myself for instance. I'm Puerto Rican....ethnically I'm spanish, Vietnamese and Italian but look like I'm freakin Hawaiian  , whatever. I am who I am. Does that mean that I should date someone from lets say south America or Mexico because they are closer by culture and mentality? Nah, not me. I have always been intrigued by European woman.

Im just still being a bit sad that time is ticking, Im 29 now and I desparetly want some other goals in my life apart from developing career...

If you have more to say, or to advice -im looking for it 

I hear you on this, but to me you are still young, vibrant, probably intellectually sexy and worth it's weight in gold (no pun intended). Of course I have more to say, always do  .

[Gator]

Moonlight,

The Average Joe seeking a RW is not highly educated.   Even if he were a great guy, I question whether a PhD RW would share an intellectual connection with him. 

I would think Elena's Models would be good for you because a man, if that is his preference, can select women with PhD's if he were so inclined. 

I was so inclined, I did select PhD at EM, and I found only a few women.  None of the contacts resulted in a meeting for various reasons.  All were particularly fastidious about the type of man who would be acceptable.  None, however, said that they were swamped with EOI's from eligible men.

What does that say?  Your degree may be a detractant to most men.  How many EM men in your age range have a Masters or a PhD?  That is okay because you do not want just any man.


I suggest that you somehow have a chat with Blues Fairy.  She is intelligent and interesting and demanded the same in her man based on the little that I know and the lot that I could presume.  It took her a long time to find him and to court him.  She gave you some clues in her post, yet a woman-to-woman talk would reveal far more.

[felix8787]

The Average Joe seeking a RW is not highly educated.   Even if he were a great guy, I question whether a PhD RW would share an intellectual connection with him. 

Gator no disrespect to you, but wow, that's generalizing that a average man that seeks a RW is not smart enough for this?

[Gator]

Gator no disrespect to you, but wow, that's generalizing that a average man that seeks a RW is not smart enough for this?

No; yet in re-reading my post Felix, it does sound arrogant. 

The Average Joe could be very smart but on a different plane than that of a PhD-educated RW. 

There is book smart and there is street smart.  The latter does not require an education and it is much more important in life than the former.  In fact, "street smarts" is the best resource a man could have for this endeavor.


I have found that those with the intellect and determination to receive a PhD have a high intellectual curiosity.  It was necessary to satisfy the requirements of the professors who they work with on almost a daily basis.  In contrast, the street smart person is more pragmatic.  This difference spills over into hobbies and other interests. 

I hope this pulls me out of the hole that I dug.  If not, you have my apology.

[felix8787]

No; yet in re-reading my post Felix, it does sound arrogant. 

The Average Joe could be very smart but on a different plane than that of a PhD-educated RW. 

There is book smart and there is street smart.  The latter does not require an education and it is much more important in life than the former.  In fact, "street smarts" is the best resource a man could have for this endeavor.


I have found that those with the intellect and determination to receive a PhD have a high intellectual curiosity.  It was necessary to satisfy the requirements of the professors who they work with on almost a daily basis.  In contrast, the street smart person is more pragmatic.  This difference spills over into hobbies and other interests. 

I hope this pulls me out of the hole that I dug.  If not, you have my apology.

It's ok Gator, no offense taken. When I read that, I thought wow, that is unlike you to say something like that. But I will disagree that those with intellect and determination that don't have a PhD has as much if not more intellectual curiosity as a person with a PhD. It would just depend of how this person focuses his determination and curiosity.
For example, when I was in tech school, there was this guy, I believe he was 21, who was very book smart but spoke like an idiot and in the shop, he couldn't find his way around the shop project, go figure.

[mark2353]

FYI Ambach, my current employer interviewed at least 25 US applicants before I applied (summer 2008, job market already slouching), and guess who got the offer.  Is it so hard for you to understand that the country of origin is not always the decisive factor in the hiring process?

BTW, notice the use of the word "benefactor" instead of sponsor, husband, etc. 
Delusions of grandeur.  

Lady, I love the way you always come to the point, It is always as direct as arrow! no BS!
go BF!

[mark2353]

Guys, Im not asking how im going to survive anywhere, let it be my concern .  Im perfectly educated, and its not even in my plans to live "on the neck" of my future man. The question which I raised in the topic was why im having such a negatinve experience and why good men are so difficult to be found.

Being a engineer I work with mostly a male population. Lately my company is bringing new college graduates(about your age) with very nice personalities. they all have one thing in common their family went through a divorce and they do not want to get involved. Having a family is not in their agenda at all. Especially with the high divorce rate in the US. Also in california if you are married for more than 10 yrs you continue spousal support for 1/2 duration of the marriage. well these young men seen their fathers careers destroyed and do not want any part of that. So right now I can take 10 great men your age out of the equation.

[mark2353]

It's ok Gator, no offense taken. When I read that, I thought wow, that is unlike you to say something like that. But I will disagree that those with intellect and determination that don't have a PhD has as much if not more intellectual curiosity as a person with a PhD. It would just depend of how this person focuses his determination and curiosity.
For example, when I was in tech school, there was this guy, I believe he was 21, who was very book smart but spoke like an idiot and in the shop, he couldn't find his way around the shop project, go figure.

Felix
Gator has a very good point! people who have Phd are on different plane of though. You can talk and truly enjoy their company but you have to be on your toes! I personally love the challenge. That is why I am dating RW with two Phds' (russia, france). But she is a handful!!

Moonlight, Felix is right you can not control the situation(where or when ) you will meet mr right, enjoy life things will began to happen (do not sit home, waiting). I personally meet my first wife when I was 38 and we had a lovely girl when she was 45.  It was a great marriage while it lasted. Patience and keep your objectives clear! I very proud of you for breaking the 1st relationship. To repeat what Felix said regarding your education. If a man is threaten by it then he is not for you. Conferences are fantastic place to me you equal (education wise). Also do not be to laid back once you see someone you might like! Make some excause and introduce yourself! I found that many of doctorates are very shy people!. Especially with the opposite sex.
best wishes!

[felix8787]

Felix
Gator has a very good point! people who have Phd are on different plane of though. You can talk and truly enjoy their company but you have to be on your toes! I personally love the challenge. That is why I am dating RW with two Phds' (russia, france). But she is a handful!!

Hey mark2353,
I don't disagree with his point mark, but don't count out someone just because they don't have a PhD. They are many people from all walks of life with or without PhD's that are intelligent that you can talk to and truly enjoy their company. As far as being on your toes well that all depends on the subject  , would I look stupid trying to keep up a conversation about...hm quantum physics or the molecular structure of a DNA strand....well of course I would, I don't know crap about that LOL....then let's say I start to talk about...hm cars, makes and models, engines, go fast parts, painting of the car and the process of it. And yet depending if they are even into cars, I would imagine they would get lost in that conversation and look just as dumb as I would talking about physics and molecular biology.
Any subject can be of interest regardless of PhD or not and can be of interest if the recipient is open minded to those kinds of conversations. But my point being is: whoever she decides to talk to and this person tickled her brain so much with interest and this person doesn't have a PhD.....Does it really matter?
One thing though.....I don't know if any will agree with me...but there are some boorish people out there with PhD's and after talking to them for a while, sometimes you wish they would just shut up...LOL, then again I could be wrong.

felix8787

PEE A-CH DEE Hooked on Phonics werxs for me!

[mark2353]

Hey mark2353,
I don't disagree with his point mark, but don't count out someone just because they don't have a PhD. They are many people from all walks of life with or without PhD's that are intelligent that you can talk to and truly enjoy their company. As far as being on your toes well that all depends on the subject  , would I look stupid trying to keep up a conversation about...hm quantum physics or the molecular structure of a DNA strand....well of course I would, I don't know crap about that LOL....then let's say I start to talk about...hm cars, makes and models, engines, go fast parts, painting of the car and the process of it. And yet depending if they are even into cars, I would imagine they would get lost in that conversation and look just as dumb as I would talking about physics and molecular biology.
Any subject can be of interest regardless of PhD or not and can be of interest if the recipient is open minded to those kinds of conversations. But my point being is: whoever she decides to talk to and this person tickled her brain so much with interest and this person doesn't have a PhD.....Does it really matter?
One thing though.....I don't know if any will agree with me...but there are some boorish people out there with PhD's and after talking to them for a while, sometimes you wish they would just shut up...LOL, then again I could be wrong.

felix8787

PEE A-CH DEE Hooked on Phonics werxs for me!

Felix,
Please do not take it wrong! I have Eng. Degree, I would bet any money that you can run circles around me any day of the week! with your knowledge about cars,..
You are 100% correct! If the other person is interested in you vs her. Then no question. I meet such a couple years ago he had doctor in physics and his wife was fun lady! They made a fantastic couple. We had a great time.
Also sometimes it is not what you know but what you ask and how you listen (trust me on this one!).  I will tell you sincere the lady that I am dating is math type. How much math do you think we talked about? "0". 

So I hope that I also dug myself out of the sand! I really hope I did not offend you!
Mark  

[felix8787]

 
Please please good folks of RWD, I am not offended at all! All is forgiven...but there was nothing to forgive, we are all adults and we spoke from different angles and point of views.
I am as opened minded as can be and I also listen as match as I can take in and process that information. We as a community of this forum are here to give and take advise no matter how old the subject is, me being a rookie adventurous expert(far from it) there really isn't a proper title other then...just a man, who is willing to give advise from my perspective and experience and if she chooses to use that advise then great, if not, at least she listened without turning a blind eye to what I had to say.
Moonlight has asked us man for advise...so let's give advise and help her! Then with all that wealth of information that we give her, she can make a decision on how she will use that information to good use and get herself the right man for her..........Moonlight, there isn't a 30 day money back guarantee on that man...sorry. (little joke there) But anyways, I do wish her the best in her endeavor and we as a community will be here for her.

felix8787

[OlgaH]

What Is Intelligence, Anyway? 
By Isaac Asimov
http://talentdevelop.com/articles/WIIA.html

[felix8787]

That was funny Olga, thanks for the article and the laugh.

[topofthekey]

Moonlight,

One thing I can say is that I read these forums when I was curious about traveling long before I joined. Most of the guys here maybe seeing someone, engaged, or married, but I bet a lot of browsers are just guys curious about traveling to Tallinn, Moscow or what ever city. I probably discovered these forums well over a year ago and just recently got back from my first trip.

My point being you might just try posting your profile and pictures right here on this forum. oh and with a yahoo or gmail email account for responses.