Violence against journalists

[Sculpto]

My GF was attacked.  Bruised shoulder, sprained back and concusion. 

WTF is wrong with a society that allows such things to happen.  I thought Russia was civilized?!?!?!

[Shadow]

A press card is not a sign that one is untouchable.

Still I understand your anger.

[Sculpto]

I just don't understand what the morons think they will accomplish by trying to stifle the press?  It only serves to outrage journalists more.. though I suppose some of them will fear for their lives and change their "song", but, the great ones will not only persist but it will make them even more determined.

Nevertheless, I consider journalism to be one of the "pure" careers... much like art, so, it is true.. I feel a lot of rage towards anyone who wants to censor or intimidate journalists.. and in this case since it is MY journalist the rage is even more extreme.

[GoodOlBoy]

WTF is wrong with a society that allows such things to happen. 

I have said it before and I will continue to say it in the future.

The problems in Russia are directly contributed to the RUSSIAN MEN (mentality).

Simply put, it's a "man's world" in Russia, they make the rules.

If you don't live by their rules, you get your "treatment".

Sorry to hear about this Sculpto.

GOB

[Gator]

Hope she is okay.

You are justifiably upset now.  When you have more information, please tell us more.

Where did this happen?  What was she doing at the time?  Who were the culprits?  For whom does she report?  What is the subject matter of her writing?

[Sculpto]

I have said it before and I will continue to say it in the future.

The problems in Russia are directly contributed to the RUSSIAN MEN.

Simply put, it's a "man's world" in Russia, they make the rules.

If you don't live by their rules, you get your "treatment".

Sorry to hear about this Sculpto.

GOB.. I can see your point but do not believe in it. 

[Sculpto]

Hope she is okay.

You are justifiably upset now.  When you have more information, please tell us more.

Where did this happen?  What was she doing at the time?  Who were the culprits?  For whom does she report?  What is the subject matter of her writing?

She will be ok.  Thanks for asking Gator.

It happened in Tomsk on the 29th.  I do not know what she was doing or any other details.  Getting her to talk about this stuff is really difficult.  She has only been back there a bit more than a week, had the flu and only went out for the first time on the 28th.  It appears from what I can piece together that "they" were waiting for her.  The other thing that makes me upset is she did not tell me about it until today, well late last night to be precise.. but last night she wouldn't tell me what was wrong.. only that she felt bad.  I barely slept because of it.  This morning she got on yahoo and told me about it.  She didn't tell me because she knows how I will react, which is with rage and anger.. not at her but at those who would hurt my Angel.  Frustrating way to start the New Year.

[possum]

I'm sorry to hear about your gf, Sculpto.. I hope she's ok.. But are you sure the incident was related to her job and not a random hit?. I've scoured our local news outlets for any info on this but couldn't find anything.. Usually when something bad happens to a local journalist there's a huge outcry from the media, but in this case I haven't heard a peep.. Did she even report it to the militia?.

[Sculpto]

I'm sorry to hear about your gf, Sculpto.. I hope she's ok.. But are you sure the incident was related to her job and not a random hit?. I've scoured our local news outlets for any info on this but couldn't find anything.. Usually when something bad happens to a local journalist there's a huge outcry from the media, but in this case I haven't heard a peep.. Did she even report it to the militia?.

Possum.. thanks for your concern.  I thought about asking you to check into it but didn't... anyway.. I have no idea about any of your questions. It is very difficult to get her to talk about this stuff and when I spoke with her today she was really out of it and mentioned that it was very difficult to talk.  I think they have her on some strong pain killers.  The only clue I have came some days ago when I noticed she was really depressed and had mentioned that she was going to have to work in Moscow because of the "default" in Tomsk.  At the time I didn't think anything of it, but, I have to wonder if she poked her nose into some kind of corruption scandal. 

When I was in Moscow we had a long talk about the risks she faced and she expressed at that time she was worried that she might be attacked, becasue it has happened before.  The last time some contractors that had torched a wooden house to get government redevelopment money broke her nose when she took photos of them burning the place down. 

[possum]

Possum.. thanks for your concern.  I thought about asking you to check into it but didn't... anyway.. I have no idea about any of your questions. It is very difficult to get her to talk about this stuff and when I spoke with her today she was really out of it and mentioned that it was very difficult to talk.  I think they have her on some strong pain killers.  The only clue I have came some days ago when I noticed she was really depressed and had mentioned that she was going to have to work in Moscow because of the "default" in Tomsk.  At the time I didn't think anything of it, but, I have to wonder if she poked her nose into some kind of corruption scandal. 

When I was in Moscow we had a long talk about the risks she faced and she expressed at that time she was worried that she might be attacked, becasue it has happened before.  The last time some contractors that had torched a wooden house to get government redevelopment money broke her nose when she took photos of them burning the place down. 

I may have read something about that last incident.. How long ago was that?.

A friend of a friend is a local news anchor, I can try and reach her over the holidays, but it's a long shot..

[Sculpto]

I may have read something about that last incident.. How long ago was that?.

A friend of a friend is a local news anchor, I can try and reach her over the holidays, but it's a long shot..

I don't know how long ago it was.  I would guess in the last couple of years.

Actually Possum.. please don't make a big deal out of this.  She is having enough problems and drawing any attention to it willmake things worse.. as you will see in the next posting..

[Sculpto]

I just had a long and not very happy yahoo chat with my girl. 

Keep in mind she has a concusion and is not thinking very clearly.  There are some big negatives and I am trying to make sense of things.

As I have said before.. we agreed to begin the K1 process, to save time, though, we had not completely agreed to go through with it, so, I have planned for a trip in late Feb for two weeks to see her again and spend more time with her.

However.. the chat today was not pleasant.  She is questioning EVERYTHING!  She is questioning all my intentions, asked why we are rushing to marriage, reminded me she has turned down a lot of men during this last year "for me", completely misunderstood when I explained that in a perfect world we could wait longer for a marriage but there is no other way for us to be together and called me a liar when I said I love her and said I do not care about her.

UGH! 

On one hand.. even though I like some drama.. this is over the top!  But, on the other hand.. she is going through a VERY difficult time with her father still very sick and her now having gone through this trauma.  I feel I should try to be patient and supportive.  But.. my strength is really being tested.

I know some will say... "drop her and move on" but I am more interested in advice from anyone who thinks I should continue.  So, please limit comments to those who think I should continue and what strategies I can use to calm her down and remind her I am not the enemy.

Thanks in advance.

[Misha]

As I have said before.. we agreed to begin the K1 process, to save time, though, we had not completely agreed to go through with it

What exactly do you mean? Is it you who had not completely agreed to it or was it her?

[Sculpto]

What exactly do you mean? Is it you who had not completely agreed to it or was it her?

We agreed to start the process to shorten the time apart.  I am 100% for it.. she is 95%.

[Misha]

She is questioning all my intentions, asked why we are rushing to marriage, reminded me she has turned down a lot of men during this last year "for me", completely misunderstood when I explained that in a perfect world we could wait longer for a marriage but there is no other way for us to be together and called me a liar when I said I love her and said I do not care about her.

This does not make sense to me. She is asking why you are rushing and saying that she turned down a lot of men for you? This is illogical IMHO. She should only be complaining about turning down a lot of men if you were the one who was stalling about marriage and did not want to rush  ??? Also, why does she call you a liar because you said you loved her? Again, this would make more sense if you were the one with doubts. Sorry, but something does not seem kosher to me.

[Sculpto]

This does not make sense to me. She is asking why you are rushing and saying that she turned down a lot of men for you? This is illogical IMHO. She should only be complaining about turning down a lot of men if you were the one who was stalling about marriage and did not want to rush  ??? Also, why does she call you a liar because you said you loved her? Again, this would make more sense if you were the one with doubts. Sorry, but something does not seem kosher to me.

You are right Misha.. its not kosher.. she got banged in the head and hasn't been thinking right since that happened.  Yesterday she told me she is feeling very strange and thinks she is going crazy... I don't think she is.. I think she is still in shock and sick.. but.. she got somethign in her head and I don't know how to deal with it.  There is a really good chance tomorrow she will fully apologize for being "aggresive" which has been what has happened in every circumstance that she has been bad in the past.  But.. I have red flags flying now...

[Sculpto]

ok.. she is back on yahoo right now.. things have calmed down.. she is still upset but not with me..

[Misha]

ok.. she is back on yahoo right now.. things have calmed down.. she is still upset but not with me..

Sculpto, this is my experience. Take anything that annoys you before marriage (or her) and multiply the frustration by 10, maybe even 20, to get an idea of what things will be like after marriage. Clearly there are things that annoy you now (concussion or no concussion). This will only get worse with time. JMHO.

[Sculpto]

Sculpto, this is my experience. Take anything that annoys you before marriage (or her) and multiply the frustration by 10, maybe even 20, to get an idea of what things will be like after marriage. Clearly there are things that annoy you now (concussion or no concussion). This will only get worse with time. JMHO.

Misha.. you are 100% right.  If things were under normal circumstances I would just end it right now.. but.. she is suffering and there is nothing I can really do to help her and feel that I could be making a very big mistake if I let her go at this point.  Even though she is being completely unreasonable I have to consider the circumstances.  What if I was in her shoes?  What if it was me who had been attacked and it caused me to question myself and everything around me?   

Artists and highly creative people have the tendency to extremes.  I know I certainly do (in case no one noticed LOL) and generally speaking it has been my extremes that "undid" my relationships with AW and even MW in the past.  Mood swings, questioning everything, misplaced anger have all been part of MY personality in the past.  I made a decision to stop dating "civilians" specifically because they were unable to understand my obsessions and some women could become HIGHLY jealous of the time and energy I put into my art.  The destructiveness of such jealousy eventually really hampered my artistic production and I felt I had lost my "muse".  Being honest I have been stuck in that for several years.  This is the first and only woman I have met, with whom there is mutual attraction, that not only understands the need for personal space but actually wants it herself. 

So, her overall personality is not really the problem.  The problem is the immediate "crisis" if you will.

[BC]

Let the relationship mature..

There were rare occasions where I played the role of punching bag.. Ain't a nice place to be but does serve a purpose.  Sometimes you won't even know why but it blows off in 24 hrs.

Did you offer to get on the next flight when you learned she got mugged?

[Sculpto]

Let the relationship mature..

There were rare occasions where I played the role of punching bag.. Ain't a nice place to be but does serve a purpose.  Sometimes you won't even know why but it blows off in 24 hrs.

Did you offer to get on the next flight when you learned she got mugged?

This is exactly the advice I was looking for BC.. I had the feeling what you said is true, i.e. being a punching bag...

I know she does that to her Mom sometimes... so, perhaps I should see it as a big sign of trust that she was able to show me herself at her worst???

yes.. i did offer to go immediately.. and to hunt down and kill whoever did that to her.  She categorically refused and now absolutely will not let me come to Tomsk. 

We have agreed to go forward with the Feb meeting and work things out then.  I am not sure yet if I will go forward with starting the K1 or not.  I guess that will get worked out tomorrow.

One thing I am seeing is how these women end up getting beat down by life over there.  It seems the disappointments are relentless for a lot of people.

[BC]

yes.. i did offer to go immediately.. and to hunt down and kill whoever did that to her.  She categorically refused and now absolutely will not let me come to Tomsk. 

Well that does kinda sour the offer to go..

I can imagine her thoughts, if she took you seriously, of you ending up either behind bars or in a wooden box.  Also shows irrational bravado she might not be looking for.

[SMS60]

Sculpto

Reading your post and words raises some flags.

Your words sound like you want " control " over what happens. This also seems like what your describing in your past also. You have to let this feeling go. Allow the events to roll off your back. Keep your emotions in check.

You dont have to let her go. Dont even think that way. Allow her to show you what shes made of. You keep offering support to her. Give her the confidence everything will be all right. Be who you have been in the past. Dont allow the drama and emotions to control you. Especially dont let it show to her.

If she is a good lady she wont run from you for something you had nothing to do with. If she wants to call it off she might be creating this drama for a excuse. You be the "man" within reason and with respect and let the chips fall where they do. Dont go wimpy on her or yourself.

[Sculpto]

Well that does kinda sour the offer to go..

I can imagine her thoughts, if she took you seriously, of you ending up either behind bars or in a wooden box.  Also shows irrational bravado she might not be looking for.

Good point.. though.. I think she was flattered by the idea.. she had already been hinting she didn't want me in Tomsk for some other reasons that are legit and I am comfortable with.

[Sculpto]

Sculpto

Reading your post and words raises some flags.

Your words sound like you want " control " over what happens. This also seems like what your describing in your past also. You have to let this feeling go. Allow the events to roll off your back. Keep your emotions in check.

You dont have to let her go. Dont even think that way. Allow her to show you what shes made of. You keep offering support to her. Give her the confidence everything will be all right. Be who you have been in the past. Dont allow the drama and emotions to control you. Especially dont let it show to her.

If she is a good lady she wont run from you for something you had nothing to do with. If she wants to call it off she might be creating this drama for a excuse. You be the "man" within reason and with respect and let the chips fall where they do. Dont go wimpy on her or yourself.

Well, there is some accuracy in your comment about control.  As a consequence of spending most of my adult life around people and circumstances that have been completely out of control I am interested in having a more stable lifestyle for the rest of my life.  When I say that I hope you can understand what i really mean.. I am quite sure I have experienced more chaos in my life than most of you guys could ever imagine.  Its simply part of being around a lot of artists, rock and roll musicians etc.. some of whom deliberately create chaos and are pranksters.. for that matter.. I am a prankster.. and if you do not know about pranksters.. well.. chaos is a religion.   

It would be a lot easier for events to roll off my back if she was here.  With her so far away and such negative things can happen, which she warned me about when I was in Moscow, it makes me crazy.  I mean.. what if she had actually been killed?  Would I have ever been informed?  It might have taken weeks before anyone got to me.. by which point I would have been on here crying that she is ignoring me... and then to discover the worst.. ugh.. I don't even like imagining such things.  And, of course the same could happen with an auto accident or any other unexpected calamity... and it can happen to me also and I have not left anyone any instructions on how to contact her.  Note to self....

So.. SMS.. I have to say you kind of hit the bullseye there.. thanks for great insite and I will try to calm down...