Adultery & Divorce - Do Russian Women ever get deported?

[c5driver]

Does anyone know of any cases where RW actually got deported?

I married my RW in Feb 2005. Soon after I submitted her I-485 application (she's since received her work permit and advanced parole).

In July 2005 I discovered that she was committing adultery with my neighbor. That same month she left our house and is now living with him.

I filed for divorce from her in July 2005. Since we had a prenup (which protects my assets pretty well) and we were only married 4 months (so she'd probably get very little even without a prenup), my lawyers say it shouldn't be an expensive divorce. Worse case senario 2 months alimony (good chance none), possibly pay some of her attorney's fees (if it comes to that). Still, it would be great if she'd leave the country so I could get an uncontested divorce.

BTW, when I ask her to sign the divorce papers she tries to blackmail me into going to her GC interview and lying for her. Which I won't do. She also tried to offer me $15K if I would get her a green card (again, I'm not a criminal, I won't do that).

Her GC interview was originally scheduled in Sept, but she and her lawyer made up some lie to the USCIS to get it rescheduled to some future date (probably the next couple of months).

I went to local the USCIS in person and gave them a letter which describes her adultery and abandonment of our residence (it gives her new address and phone number, and the name of her boyfriend). I described her attempts at blackmailing me and at hiding the truth from the USCIS (she was obligated to tell them of her new address, which she didn't do). In the letter I withdrew my support of her I-485 application. I asked the USCIS to investigate her activities, including attempted immigration fraud.

We sent a copy of this letter to our congressman - he will forward it to the USCIS office to. Hopefully they will investigate her as we requested (because it came from a congressman).

My immigration atty says she can't get a GC from me if I don't go to the interview. Her boyfriend hired an immigration atty for her (apprently he told her they can fight deportation for 2 years).

From reading this board I know all about using False DV accusations to get a GC. She's never indicated that she'd accuse me of DV, but you know how Russian women are about making stuff up. I've not lived with her since July, and I've stopped having any contact with her (not even phone calls lately). My neigbors know of her adultery and they know she doesn't live with me. Because of this I think it would be pretty difficult for her to get a police report showing abuse because I could convince the police that we don't have contact. The police might even arrest her for filing a false report, so I don't think she'd do this since we don't have any contact. She's not done it yet, as the police would certainly let me know if she did.

Still, I worry that she might manufacture some false evidence of DV and self petition. As many of us know it's really easy for a woman to get a restraining order against a man. Maybe she could injure herself and make photos, maybe her RW friend could lie for her. Maybe she could check herself into a woman's shelter.

I've read different things on different posts about how much the USCIS investigates DV claims. Maxx said that they will accept almost any proof because it's Politically Correct. Other posts say that even women with evidence get rejected.

One interesting point is that she needs to show that her intentions were true (that it was not a GC marriage) even if she uses the DV route and self petitions. We didn't have any joint accounts of any kind, and she doesn't have proof of our insurance together.

Strangely enough, she said she didn't need proof of accounts together. Which makes me wonder if she's planning on using the DV route (but I thought they still wanted to see proof of joint accounts in that situation to prove it wasn't a GC marriage - which it probably was in her mind).

Does anybody know of any similar cases? Will she actually get to stay here? Will they deport her?

Or will she stay in legal limbo, unable to visit her family (and complete her education) in Russia because she couldn't reenter the country?

[jb]

C5 Driver,

Airforce Pilot?

I'd be interested in hearing the full details of your courtship and marriage if you'd care to share this with us.  It sounds like another case of an American man marrying a woman he didn't bother to get to know very well.

You may get lucky. Otherwise I'd say your lady has a good chance of staying in the USA, with or without you in the loop.

Sad, but true,,, she's holding better cards than you are.

[c5driver]

Hi jb,

"Airforce Pilot?" - No, actually C5 refers to the 5th generation Corvette.

Yes, it would have been much better if I could have spent more time with her in FSU to know her. I would have liked to have done that. But my personal situation (work, etc) really didn't permit that. But I'm convinced that even if I lived with her for several months in the FSU I wouldn't of seen her disloyalty. Our relationship during our first few months of marriage in America was pretty good (better than my previous AW). I've read accounts on these boards where the woman would sleep in seperate beds or become extremely controlling immediately after marriage - my RW was not like that the first few months of our marriage.

Instead my RW turned commitment phobic. She's told her new boyfriend (3 months into their relationship) that she won't marry him and doesn't want to bear his children. She'll probably dump him too (as soon as she finds another sugar daddy). But in the beginning of her relationship with him she said that she was very much in love with him (as she acted very much in love during our marriage).

She's just a very disloyal, independent minded person. She's flakey - she seems to guinely love somebody for a while, then she gets tired of them and wants to move on. She claims she was a virgin before we married an now she seems to want to play the field a while. A mutual friend of ours says that Russian women are "unstable", that they frequently have affairs.

I think she was influenced by the RW friends she made in America. One of her RW friends is 25 and married to a rich 52 year old doctor (who she meet in America) and has some boyfriends on the side. Her other RW friend is working on her GC with her AM but was also looking for a boyfriend. They network and compare notes. I've become convinced that the probability of finding an honest RW is very low. It just seems like RW lack the basic human values like loyalty required to make a marriage work.

Does anybody know the specifics of the USCIS deporting a RW? Why do GCG typically wait 2 years to get divorced if she can do this? I thought that the women that claim DV typically get their husbands arrested (which hasn't and won't happen to me since I don't have contact with her my neighbors (who watch her since her boyfriend lives on our street) know this).

c5driver

[Maxx]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Does anyone know of any cases where RW actually got deported?

Only one. A RW stabbed her husband with a knife. The INS quickly deported her. I believe they did this to avoid a messy public case.

I married my RW in Feb 2005. Soon after I submitted her I-485 application (she's since received her work permit and advanced parole).

In July 2005 I discovered that she was committing adultery with my neighbor. That same month she left our house and is now living with him.

I filed for divorce from her in July 2005. Since we had a prenup (which protects my assets pretty well) and we were only married 4 months (so she'd probably get very little even without a prenup), my lawyers say it shouldn't be an expensive divorce. Worse case senario 2 months alimony (good chance none), possibly pay some of her attorney's fees (if it comes to that). Still, it would be great if she'd leave the country so I could get an uncontested divorce.

Mine was with me only 4 months in America (almost a year of marriage in Russia) and she got no spousal maintanance or any assets. I did agree to pay her legal fees which was only $500. Definately not an expensive attorney. BTW you filing the divorce first puts you in a good position of defense in a DV claim. Abusive men do not file first. Abusive men will do anything to hold on to their wives. Divorce is letting go. Also it is a legal step which is not something abusive men do.

BTW, when I ask her to sign the divorce papers she tries to blackmail me into going to her GC interview and lying for her. Which I won't do. She also tried to offer me $15K if I would get her a green card (again, I'm not a criminal, I won't do that).

I am glad you didn't cut a deal. Staying legal and doing everything legal is your best defence.

Her GC interview was originally scheduled in Sept, but she and her lawyer made up some lie to the USCIS to get it rescheduled to some future date (probably the next couple of months).

This can be a delay until they get her Prima Facia Determination Document from the Vermont Service Center. The VSC will then have her immigration file pulled from the local service center it is held at and sent to them. Then the local service center you are dealing with will have no say in her immigration status. The VSC is where all abuse petitions are sent. The PFDD gives her the right to welfare benefits.

 local the USCIS in person and gave them a letter which describes her adultery and abandonment of our residence (it gives her new address and phone number, and the name of her boyfriend). I described her attempts at blackmailing me and at hiding the truth from the USCIS (she was obligated to tell them of her new address, which she didn't do). In the letter I withdrew my support of her I-485 application.

They see this all the time and do not get too shook over it.

I asked the USCIS to investigate her activities, including attempted immigration fraud.

An investigation cost allot of money. The USCIS will not spend their limited resources investigating a one'see two'see they want a large criminal conspiracy case with many names and a financial trail that justifies their expenditure of funds and something that can enhance their careers.

We sent a copy of this letter to our congressman - he will forward it to the USCIS office to. Hopefully they will investigate her as we requested (because it came from a congressman).

My immigration atty says she can't get a GC from me if I don't go to the interview. Her boyfriend hired an immigration atty for her (apprently he told her they can fight deportation for 2 years).

Yes there is a appeal process that can go on for years. The EOIR (Executive Order of Immigration Review) has an entire bureaucracy of Judges (paid six figures) and lengthy appeal processes that provide allot of work and much income for immigration attorneys.

From reading this board I know all about using False DV accusations to get a GC. She's never indicated that she'd accuse me of DV, but you know how Russian women are about making stuff up.

A guy can be accused of DV with the USCIS and never know it. He will not be informed or allowed to find out if he has been.

I've not lived with her since July, and I've stopped having any contact with her (not even phone calls lately).

Good, any contact even a phone call can be turned into a harassment or stalking charge. You would be very smart to break all contact with her with the exception of you lawyer to her lawyer.

My neigbors know of her adultery and they know she doesn't live with me. Because of this I think it would be pretty difficult for her to get a police report showing abuse because I could convince the police that we don't have contact. The police might even arrest her for filing a false report, so I don't think she'd do this since we don't have any contact. She's not done it yet, as the police would certainly let me know if she did.

Still, I worry that she might manufacture some false evidence of DV and self petition. As many of us know it's really easy for a woman to get a restraining order against a man. Maybe she could injure herself and make photos, maybe her RW friend could lie for her. Maybe she could check herself into a woman's shelter.

Best defense is never let her know where you are. If she falsely accuses you she has to say when. If you are with an alibi it can get her into a bit of trouble. That is why it is best to stay out of sight. Do not answer your phone. Black out the windows of your house and park the car in the garage. Sounds extreme but it can keep you out of jail. Eventually this does blow over but in the meantime take some measures.

I've read different things on different posts about how much the USCIS investigates DV claims. Maxx said that they will accept almost any proof because it's Politically Correct. Other posts say that even women with evidence get rejected.

My attorney the retired District Director Director (top man) of Minnesota, North and South Dakota said he has never seen a properly filed I-360 spousal abuse petition turned down. My I.C.E. investigator told me the same thing.   

One interesting point is that she needs to show that her intentions were true (that it was not a GC marriage) even if she uses the DV route and self petitions. We didn't have any joint accounts of any kind, and she doesn't have proof of our insurance together.

Strangely enough, she said she didn't need proof of accounts together. Which makes me wonder if she's planning on using the DV route (but I thought they still wanted to see proof of joint accounts in that situation to prove it wasn't a GC marriage - which it probably was in her mind).

Bingo! Proofs of co-habitation, intimate contact and co-mingling of finances are less enforced (However the INS website does ask for these) than they are in usual GC cases. The reason is the INS accepts that abusive men do not give their wives these things as it is their means of control and a sign of their neglect. Her not asking for these tells me that she will make this claim and that will be part of her "evidence" you are an abusive man.  

Does anybody know of any similar cases? Will she actually get to stay here? Will they deport her?

Or will she stay in legal limbo, unable to visit her family (and complete her education) in Russia because she couldn't reenter the country?

My guess she will do what thousands of others like her are able to do, stay here and get the system to work for her.

My suggestion is to not spend allot time and money looking for justice. It does not reflect negative on your character to walk away from this. Posting your story here and elsewhere is an accomplishment in it's self and has benefit to those reading it.  Anything that you will feel or experience has happened to thousands of other men. Everything will pass in it's own due time. Just take care of yourself.

Maxx

[Maxx]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Why do GCG typically wait 2 years to get divorced if she can do this? I thought that the women that claim DV typically get their husbands arrested (which hasn't and won't happen to me since I don't have contact with her my neighbors (who watch her since her boyfriend lives on our street) know this).

c5driver

Two years it takes to get a GC without all the dramatics of a DV charge.

The whole DV route is very stressful on the RW. No RW wants to live in a Woman's shelter and sleep with a dozen other women and their children, have a curfew and need to report where she is going when she leaves the shelter. The biggest problem for my ex was her gripe that she couldn't drink her beer. Her friend chuckled when she told me this and said my ex said it was like a prison.

I was never arrested by the police or even had them called on me. Being very careful definately helps.

Maxx

  

[c5driver]

Thanks for your response, Maxx.

It sounds like they grant the DV GC petitions with very little proof, correct? All the DV GC cases I've read on these boards indicate that the man is arrested, correct? Since we don't have any contact I doubt the the police (even in this PC environment) would arrest me. Can she get her GC without a police report? Why do RW risk charges of filing false police reports if they can get a GC without a police report?

Obviously it's a very broken system if she can get a GC without a police report.

Part of the reason I want to see her leave is so that I could get an uncontested divorce if she leaves. Maybe I'll assume she'll stay and proceed with the contested divorce.

The other thing I could do is offer to go to her upcoming GC interview. Pretend like I'm going to play along but not. Let them catch her in a lie. Though I worry about have any contact with her at this point.

Does the USCIS even care if she lied to them?

Of course, this DV thing is all speculation at this point. I have no evidence that she'll do this. Then again, she's a RW.

Can I check on her case online? I have her A# number but they seem to want WAC numbers?

c5driver

[c5driver]

Thanks Maxx,

"The whole DV route is very stressful on the RW. No RW wants to live in a Woman's shelter and sleep with a dozen other women and their children, have a curfew and need to report where she is going when she leaves the shelter."

- This seems to imply that the USCIS wants some kind of EVIDENCE (ie that she lives in a woman's shelter) before they give her a GC, correct?

Do you think her lawyer is telling her that she must live in a woman's shelter if she wants her GC? This would be very amusing to me.

My RW certainly doesn't want to do stressful things. Her new boyfriend buys her $250 pairs of jeans. She lives in a nice house with him, and he's promised to buy her a used Mercedes to drive. She might not be willing to live in a shelter. She hates curviews.

She's not been to a shelter yet, either. If she goes to a shelter in the future and the USCIS investigated they'd find it curious why she waited so long after the divorce (July) to go to a shelter, wouldn't they?

c5driver

 

[Maxx]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Thanks for your response, Maxx.

It sounds like they grant the DV GC petitions with very little proof, correct?

Yes

 All the DV GC cases I've read on these boards indicate that the man is arrested, correct? 

I wasn't

Since we don't have any contact I doubt the the police (even in this PC environment) would arrest me.

It's possible if she does what you speculate in your above post

 Can she get her GC without a police report?

Mine did

 Why do RW risk charges of filing false police reports if they can get a GC without a police report?

They don't know any better. They are told that it helps in their case to have official proof

Obviously it's a very broken system if she can get a GC without a police report.

Part of the reason I want to see her leave is so that I could get an uncontested divorce if she leaves. Maybe I'll assume she'll stay and proceed with the contested divorce.

With the shortness of your marriage a contested divorce is highly unlikely

[/b]

The other thing I could do is offer to go to her upcoming GC interview. Pretend like I'm going to play along but not. Let them catch her in a lie. Though I worry about have any contact with her at this point.

I would not do that unless you work with an attorney AND the INS on what is really going on.

Does the USCIS even care if she lied to them?

Probably not

Of course, this DV thing is all speculation at this point. I have no evidence that she'll do this. Then again, she's a RW.

Women of all nationalities do this even American (for other issues). Just be careful

Can I check on her case online? I have her A# number but they seem to want WAC numbers?

c5driver

No that is in the INS secured computer system. They will not tell you either or your lawyer.  

[Maxx]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Thanks Maxx,

"The whole DV route is very stressful on the RW. No RW wants to live in a Woman's shelter and sleep with a dozen other women and their children, have a curfew and need to report where she is going when she leaves the shelter."

- This seems to imply that the USCIS wants some kind of EVIDENCE (ie that she lives in a woman's shelter) before they give her a GC, correct?

Yes they ask for evidence such as living in a shelter (it's on their website) but accept her word in a sworn affidavit that she has been abused as sufficient evidence of abuse to grant the petition.

Do you think her lawyer is telling her that she must live in a woman's shelter if she wants her GC? This would be very amusing to me.

I doubt it

My RW certainly doesn't want to do stressful things. Her new boyfriend buys her $250 pairs of jeans. She lives in a nice house with him, and he's promised to buy her a used Mercedes to drive. She might not be willing to live in a shelter. She hates curviews.

She's not been to a shelter yet, either. If she goes to a shelter in the future and the USCIS investigated they'd find it curious why she waited so long after the divorce (July) to go to a shelter, wouldn't they?

The INS is not too willing to question even the most obvious nonsence. In fact only the Vermont Service Center has that ability and their adjudicators have their hands full rubber stamping these petitions through. If my understanding of the numbers is correct each adjudicator at the VSC has to "examine" over 1000 cases every year (based on 6700 I-360 cases in '2003 with 6 adjudicators at the VSC). Then if they refuse the petition the woman can appeal and that costs the VSC even more time. It's the EOIR bureaucracy that complicates the system for deportation. It's easier to turn a blind eye.   

c5driver

 

Maxx

 

[Bruno]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Does anybody know of any similar cases?

at http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/104017656?ltl=1129067841 ... read the story from the nummer 741... enougfh similar to you... and of course, you are free to sign the petition : " STOP RESTRAINING ORDER ABUSE AND PROSECUTE FALSE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACCUSATIONS! "

Now in case of Dv, it seem that your chance are low... for some obscure politic reason : http://www.glennsacks.com/kitaen_plays_the.htm

[align=left]Thompson and Tong note that the "woman's trump card" is often devastatingly effective.[/align]
[align=left]"Family court judges are often in an impossible situation with DV accusations," Thompson says. "Most of them realize that the accusation is probably false, but the political costs of believing the man are far higher than that of believing the woman.  If the judge believes the man and there is violence later, it could haunt his or her career.[/align]
[align=left]Now a other interesting article at http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/anderson/brides/pg2.html ... mail order bride and the abuse of immigrant woman... they complain over the impact of conditional status on immigrant woman... but it is a plus in your case... read all the page, they are reagulation ( law ) and detail that you can use[/align]

[c5driver]

Thanks Maxx.

She contested the divorce by filing a response (with a $300 filing fee). If she'd not done this I could have finished the divorce without her partipation. But since she filed a response the divorce is considered contested. Which means a trial in family court if we don't come a written agreement before that.

My big concern is 1) having to pay her attorney's fees. 2) Paying 2 months alimony.  I'm not rich and I won't spend money on an atty for a 4 month divorce (especially one with a prenup to protect assets). The cost of my atty wouldn't be justified by the small amount of money at stake. However I consulted with an atty who said that it would be a simple case (seems obvious with 4 month marriage) and that she'd be shocked if her atty fees exceeded 10K (so I'm thinking $3K-$5K is a reasonable estimate).

She said that alimony was possible (though it might not happen) but it becomes less likely if I wait a little before pursuing the divorce (after several months the judge will figure that she's had time to recover from the dependence on a 4 month marriage). So maybe I'll wait a few months and then ask the family court for a trial date.

I was hoping that she'd leave the country so a trial in family court wouldn't be necessary.

I read that for her to get the GC through DV we must still be married. So maybe she's trying to drag out the divorce to help with her GC. She tried to blackmail me into helping her with her GC in return for signing a divorce agreement, which I declined to do.

BTW, Maxx do you think that 95% of the RW are GCG? Since I've had a RW I've heard a lot of horror stories here in CA about GCG, but I only know of 1 successful marriage. Unfortunately I didn't know this before I got married (but I knew of the 1 successful marriage).

[Maxx]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

I read that for her to get the GC through DV we must still be married. So maybe she's trying to drag out the divorce to help with her GC.

This is an old law and was changed in '2000. She can file a DV charge withe the INS even if she is divorced.

BTW, Maxx do you think that 95% of the RW are GCG?

I have no idea on this statistic except it is really too high. GCG is much less of a problem than incompatability issues. I have always felt that a marriage that ends early such as ours faces a very strong probility of false DV. Really it is the safest way for a RW in those circumstances

 Since I've had a RW I've heard a lot of horror stories here in CA about GCG, but I only know of 1 successful marriage. Unfortunately I didn't know this before I got married (but I knew of the 1 successful marriage).

The horror stories are the one's that get the most attention. There are allot of happily married RW/AM couples out there that you will never hear about. If I had to make a wild guess I would say 15% GCGs, 50-60% just a matter of time's and 25-35% solid marriages

Heading home for the evening.

Maxx

 


 

[c5driver]

Thanks Maxx.

How does one make it into the 25%-35% solid marriages?

Are you going to try again or are you gun shy?

[anono]

this information is priceless as are maxx's answers.

i think she will do everything and anything to stay in the usa, you got her here and that is all she needed you for.

[Maxx]

I almost left...

After 2 1/2 years I just started writing a woman from Moscow who was married to an AM for 1 year in the US. When the marriage ended she decided to return to Moscow with her daughter. I do not worry about GCG with her just possible incompatability issues that may arise.  

As far as making it into the 25-35% zone (my estimate) education from these boards and knowing yourself is a good place to start.  Then make a plan. My guess 95% of the men that go into this process are clueless (I was) or total misfits. Frankly we are all a bit unusual but that does not make us misfits. And I have noticed some solid marriages with some rather odd husbands so even that works sometimes and speaks well for their RW.

Maxx    

 

[Maxx]

i think she will do everything and anything to stay in the usa, you got her here and that is all she needed you for.

Yes especially since she has a boyfriend willing to buy her $250 jeans and a Mercedes.

Also keep in mind an abuse charge will help her (more likely her boyfriend) from spending thousands of dollars on immigration attorneys. An I-751 good faith attempt at marriage is iffy at best, less than 50% are approved and almost always rejected if the husband does not support it. Plus only 4 months of marriage. Usually these petitions are filed with a year or more of marriage. Would it not be easier and a whole lot less expensive to just claim abuse? I have heard of immigration attorney bills that run into the many ten's of thousands of dollars.

Maxx

[c5driver]

Her boyfriend has paid to retain an immigration attorney for her.

Attorneys like to make as much money as possible, right? Maybe her atty will steer her toward the I-751. Why would the atty tell her to file a false DV charge if it costs him business? She mentioned to her friend that she it might take 2 years to deport her. It sounds like she was planning on having her attorney fight all the way.

I hope the immigration atty bills her boyfriend as much money as possible. She's already told her boyfriend that she doesn't want to marry him or have his children. He's only using him for money/shelter at this point.

[c5driver]

BTW I have previous experience with false DV charges. And I won (sort of).

In Jan 2005 My American ex-wife was upset about me not allowing her to cancel the pending sale of some property we had in Lousiana (which has since been destroyed by hurricane). This created tension in our relationship (but I was never abusive). Cancelling the pending sale would have made the realtor really angry (they hate it when you break contracts) and she probably would have sued both of us, so I steadfastly refused to do this. My ex-wife was pregnant, which made her more difficult to deal with than she is normally.

In this environment my ex-wife decided to file false DV charges. She alleged that I tried to hit her (she said I raised my arm with a clenched fist). I didn't do this.

I had to go to numerous hearings over this in Orange County, California family court. My ex-wife initiated the proceedings by leaving a note on my door that I must go to court that day to defend myself. I went to court that day (my ex-wife was surpised to see me). It was a female judge, which concerned me. But the female judge didn't grant my ex-wife the temporary restraining order (probably due to lack of evidence). The judges that heard our case saw REAL cases of battered (often punched) women every day, so they kind of thought my ex-wife's case was LAME. Frankly, I was really surprised I won that day, especially with a female judge (she really looked like a man hater, too).

The unfortunate thing was that my wife and I have 2 children together. So it deteriorated into a child welfare matter after my ex-mother in law tried to make me sound like a threat to my children.

I hired a lawyers since my custody of my children was at stake. She hired a lawyer.

One day my American ex-wife followed my RW and myself around a supermarket, harrassing us. So I filed a restaining order against her.

The third hearing was with a sensible male judge. He told us to sit down and work it out. We did. I got slightly MORE custody of my children. NO restraining orders for any body (I dropped my case and she dropped her case).

So, gentlemen, it is possible to prevail (or at least not lose) a false DV case. But it sure wasn't pleasant.

BTW, my RW wanted to support me by attending the DV hearing with my American Ex-wife. But she became angry with me because I was talking with my American ex-wife in a concilatory fashion after the hearing (trying to have a civil relationship).

2 months later my RW left me for the other man. Now I'll pursue that divorce in the same courthouse in Orange, CA. Different judge, though.

Isn't marriage WONDERFUL?

After my RW acknowledge her adultery she said that her parents were very unhappy with her. She said the her father said that "All women are B******". Must be an ancient Russian proverb. This year proves it.

[c5driver]

He bought her $250 jeans but she complains that he doesn't give her monthly spending money (like I did - nothing fancy, but enough for the necessities of life). It seems to be a way to control her.

The promised Mercedes is yet to be seen. I assume it will be in HIS name. They don't trust each other that much.

She thinks of him as controlling her. She'd love to find another sugar daddy to replace him.

Her Russian friend Marina and Ukrainian friend Oksenia are the same way - very materialistic, with boyfriends that they hide from their husbands. Exactly what I DON'T want in a wife. They network. My RW actually told my mother "we all hate our husbands" (referring to her FSU friends) BEFORE she committed adultery. Sometimes I think that my RW was heavily influenced by her friends to commit adultery.

I'd don't think I'd try for another bride from the FSU because I couldn't trust them.

[c5driver]

[align=left]Now a other interesting article at http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/anderson/brides/pg2.html ... mail order bride and the abuse of immigrant woman... they complain over the impact of conditional status on immigrant woman... but it is a plus in your case... read all the page, they are reagulation ( law ) and detail that you can use[/align]

Maxx,

What is your opinion of the article on www.nostatusquo.com? Is this article obsolete?

Thanks,

c5driver

[RacerX]

C5driver ~ sounds like you were thinking with the '"little" head and not the big one from the start!  Well, despite any reassurance you might get from Maxx (and he is 'da man" when it comes to DV) she basically has you by the ba!!s on this one. Your goose is cooked, so you should put all thoughts of deportation and the lack into the trash bin. Now she has an immigration attorney, they will, with a high degree of certainly, get whatever she wants - up to a greencard.

What I would do?: cut her a deal.  She's obviously could care crap about you and now that your "mule" service is over (see the GCG thread), you are better off trying to pay her off.  Oh, yes, it's all about $$$.  Don't waste your time and life with this woman - move on.  Don't become an expert on immigration law!

Maxx and I both got screwed by RW (in more ways than one ), but we put the experience behind us and moved on. Do the same.

Really, I wish you the best...

[dostogirl]

 No RW wants to live in a Woman's shelter and sleep with a dozen other women and their children, have a curfew and need to report where she is going when she leaves the shelter.

I used to volunteer as an interpreter for Russians in court. Unfortunately, I've seen a lot of cases of fake abuse charges (sometimes from both sides: Russian and American). Usually judges have a pretty good sense about faking abuse, esp. when evidence is not very impressive. I've been to shelters before, I tell ya, it's not a fun place. A lot of RWs are afraid to go and live in shelters, they'll try other ways before accepting that one. Besides, not every shelter would accept every woman. The circumstances must be very severe to be accepted (at least in my state) to a shelter.

[anono]

c5driver...are you sure you are not on the east side of the river from st. louis?  marina and oksana are the names of the women i know of at home (i'm in ukraine, home being southern IL). both are married to men they have no respect for whatsoever. both are having affairs, both are using their husbands to live nicely and drive new vehicles.

stories like these make me cringe. i right here in the middle of the vipers.

[Maxx]

[user=488]c5driver[/user] wrote:

Maxx,

What is your opinion of the article on http://www.nostatusquo.com? Is this article obsolete?

Thanks,

c5driver

It is very dated. I noticed in the references dates that go to the early 90's but I didn't see anything newer (may have missed it).

Also I noticed there was no reference to V.A.W.A., Violence Against Women Act. of 1994 and it's implementation into INS law in 1996. It was then that the VSC took over all cases claiming DV.

RacerX wrote:

Don't waste your time and life with this woman - move on. Don't become an expert on immigration law!

 

Good advice. I am no expert but I know far more that what is good for me. I would have been better off putting my energies into things that would give me a more direct benefit. But I used allot of '03 and '04 in trying to get justice and it eluded all my efforts. Even the efforts of I.C.E. (Immigration Customs and Enforcement) who assigned an investigator who worked on my case for 3 days could not get the bureauracy of the VSC to put away their rubber approval stamp.

Dostogirl wrote:

Besides, not every shelter would accept every woman. The circumstances must be very severe to be accepted (at least in my state) to a shelter.

Thank you, you may have confirmed a suspicion I had about what happened in my case. I suspicioned that the shelter my ex was involved with pulled all support from my ex after the protective order trial. The trial was a 3 ring circus of embarassing revelations and suspicious actions on her side. Then she didn't file her abuse charge for at least 3 months as told to me by I.C.E. (she was always in a BIG hurry about all her "documents") and after she moved to another State where her Russian friends from the marriage agency lived. Oh well past history.... 

Anono wrote:

both are having affairs, both are using their husbands to live nicely and drive new vehicles.

 

[/font]Why do guys put up with this? I hear this stuff allot. It amazes me that guys like Caulfield21 (the poster boy for this) will tolerate this abuse towards themselves. Most men can't live with this without it affecting them negatively. If there is no effect then they are jaded beyond hope.

Maxx

[c5driver]

Thanks for your excellent posts, Maxx.

I've kept in touch via email with the immigration atty her in California that I hired to do my RW's Visa paperwork (since then I've learned that I didn't need an atty to do that, but such is life). This atty deals a lot with Russian women (he makes frequent trips to the FSU).

I asked my immigration atty if the USCIS blindly grants I-360 battered spouse petitions ("they accept her word in a sworn affidavit that she has been abused as sufficient evidence of abuse to grant the petition").

My immigration atty responded as follows:

"I360's are not blindly granted. There has to be some evidence of the abuse. Hard evidence such as police records, hospitals etc. Just cause she says so is not enough."

"THe only way she can get a K1 is if she immediately packs up and goes home. Make suyre that the USCIS is fully informed over what was happening in your marriage. I am sorry to hear that this happened to you. SHe cant get a green card through you. THe rest is in the hands of the almighty."

This seems to contradict what Maxx's atty and his experiences have told him. Does the UCSIS work differently in CA than in Minn (I wouldn't think so, especially if the VSC decides the DV GC cases)?

It puzzles me because Maxx seems to really know his stuff but this atty does too.

Perhaps her atty might have the same opinion as my atty - that EVIDENCE is required for DV GC. This could be dangerous as she might try to frame me. But I make that difficult by avoiding all contact with her. Maybe she'll try the I-751 GC route instead (which won't work in her case).