the teenie must have bugged my pc

[phantom]

I went on-line this morning, for another video chat, using the same IM I use with the agencies, I was invisible, and the one lady's daughter popped up "Hi, Phantom!"  I gave no responce, thought she was just guessing, but she kept typing.  So, while i waited, I chatted with her.  The other lady said she would be ready in 20 mins, so I chatted with the girl and her mother, as she was there.  Then, when the other girl got on, I'd said I'd be back in a bit.  But, afterwords, she wanted to use the cam (The girl) so, i chatted with her and her mother.  And, the Babushka was there as well, some where nearby.  Also, the girl said "I found you on myspace."  Talk about tracking somebody.  But, how did she know I was on-line, when I was set to invisible?

[Vaughn]

The daughter's a bit too enthusiastic for my taste, Phantom. I'd find it distracting to forge a
relationship, albeit by computer, with the darling girl and babushka hanging around.

Seems you're not so invisible after all. Next thing we'll see is she's lurking here?

[phantom]

That thought crossed my mind, Vaughn.  I was getting ready to chat with the girl that speaks English, that was connected with me with the aquaintances wife, when she caught me.  Then, tells me, I found you on myspace.  I was actually thinking, when I posted.  What's next?  Here?

[Diplomacy]

You might want to keep the rabbits under lock and key for a while.

[Simoni]

  But, how did she know I was on-line, when I was set to invisible?

Did you remember to turn off your availability status on MySpace?  And Facebook?  And Gmail or other email programs.  It's not just the program you are using that signals your status.  Shut them all down if you truly want to be invisible.

[phantom]

My stautus on myspace, is not to show me on-line.  I'll just see about changing IMs and stay logged off that one.  Then teenie won't know when I'm on.

[BC]

My stautus on myspace, is not to show me on-line.  I'll just see about changing IMs and stay logged off that one.  Then teenie won't know when I'm on.

There are some IM clients out there that for some reason or other show you even though you are set as 'invisible'..

Kinda hard to be invisible when folks see you 'typing' at the same time..

LOL

[Daveman]

...What's next?  Here?

Well look on the bright side. Carrier pigeons (with mounted micro camera) do take a while to fly, so that is probably one method she you don't need to worry over.

One thing i like about this is that it's a family atmosphere. The family is involved together.

One thing I don't like about it is that the family is involved *with you* -- a little too much too early.   Vaughn's right. Very difficult to really concentrate on the woman with everything else going on. 

Have you discussed any of this with her? Does she know about the daughter yet? (sorry if I missed the answer already).

[phantom]

Daveman,

She does know about the daughter now, and also babushka.  Yes, it's nice the way the whole family's involved, but I agree, It's too soon and too early.  I felt a little strange, when she said "I saw you on myspace."  My profile, the girl is really watching and tracking.

[Daveman]

Daveman,

She does know about the daughter now, and also babushka.  Yes, it's nice the way the whole family's involved, but I agree, It's too soon and too early.  I felt a little strange, when she said "I saw you on myspace."  My profile, the girl is really watching and tracking.

Heya Phantom,

If you are truly interested in this woman, my advice at this point would be to spell out the situation politely. Such as, "It was a pleasure to meet your mother and daughter. Very nice family you have. Family is very important to me and I respect family closeness. Now that we've all met each other, you and I need to concentrate on communicating with each other..."

That's just an example, say it however you feel comfortable, but get the point across. Otherwise I think there will be to much dilly dallying around with the daughter and not enough quality communication with the mother to understand how you wish to proceed in the future.

That's my take on it anyway. Good luck.

[Sculpto]

Phantom.. as others have said there are "holes" in the privacy preferences with chat systems.. and.. sometimes even if people don't see you as "available" in their buddy list they might send a message anyway.. if you are using yahoo and appear offline but send a message it will not respond back with the "person offline" message and then you know the person is simply hiding.

Now.. as far as getting involved in a family chat.. now that the door is open its going to be very difficult to go backwards.  You do not know if it was always this way with the daughter sitting at the terminal typing for the Mom.  I would say be VERY careful how you approach this topic because there is a great risk of offending someone.  If the computer is new for the family the daughter will get over her fascination with YOU very fast, expecially if she is on myspace...

Another good point to notice here.. social networking sites... Russian girls are ALL OVER THEM!  Guys.. quit wasting your money on agencies!  There is just no point going forward... if a lady is on facebook, myspace, tagged etc there is a darn good chance she can communicate with you in English!  And, you will have a much better idea of how many other guys are chasing her too.  The only negative, especially with tagged which seems to have a very large number of FSU members, is simply there is a lot of competition so it is not always easy to get the attention of a particular lady.

[mendeleyev]

The thought crossed my mind that a lady on vkontakte.ru has relationship as her goal, however more than a few of the RW/UW on facebook have getting to an English speaking country as a goal.

Met a very attractive (aren't they all!) lady several years back on a trip from Moscow to Kyiv.  My wife for awhile was in that stage of trying to introduce me to anyone who had a heartbeat and an interest in America (we stopped that) so I wouldn't feel so "alone" while living in the FSU. So, she included this lady in a conversation with some friends of our family who lived just outside Kyiv.  After all the "do you have a brother?" comments had run out I went fishing a little deeper.  She had an unusual interest in the American midwest.

Turns out her "ex" husband worked there and had taken their young son with him. That is odd for a Russian family structure.  My summation was that she was looking for a short term husband, short enough to get to the USA with a midwest address, obtain legal grounds to stay, and viola, a happy reunion for the divided family.

She was hot.  And her English was pretty good too.

I have a brother, and he lives in the lower Midwest, but I also love my brother. 

[Vaughn]

After all the "do you have a brother?" comments had run out I went fishing a little deeper.  She had an unusual interest in the American midwest.

 I've always felt that her focus of interest on a particular city or region constituted a red flag - that there was a
considerably compelling reason for a lady to move forward in a relationship/marriage, simply to gain access to
another person or persons. I've also seen cases where a Michigan suitor's proposal hinged on a promised move to
say, Florida - with the destination more important to the lady than the health of the impending "marriage"...

  Sorry, Phantom, there is no intent to hijack your thread, which, in itself, is quite a novel situation.

[BC]

  Sorry, Phantom, there is no intent to hijack your thread, which, in itself, is quite a novel situation.

But with a rather conventional solution.. get on the plane and see what it's all about.

[phantom]

Yes, I will be getting on a plane.

heya Daveman,

I did discuss it with her and the daughter does not chat me as much as she was before, except when mom's there, just to translate what she can.  But, other than that, I don't chat with her now.

[Mishenka]

She maybe using a program like wireshark to know when you are online. Simple put, it is a packet catcher. It can read all info of anyone sending and receiving packets regardless if they are online and hidden, as long as you are connected to the internet, you will show up on wireshark and I mean all your info is tracked, including ISP,location and other private info.  If you have any chat programs open, you will show as online because the chat window will ping back and forth in all ports connected on www.
Mishenka

[Shadow]

If you use MSN as IM tool, there is a program called MSN plus that will show the status of any contact. That means it will show that you are invisible. The MSN plus is a common tool to use for teenagers, nothing specially for you but a standard teenager tool.

[phantom]

Thanks for the information on those two programs.  I was not aware of such things.  I suppose, that they won't show up in a scan, as my spy sweeper never picks up anything like that.

[phantom]

I left my computer running, but off line today.  I'm not pointing fingers, but the virus scan ran it's weekly scan, and found two trojans.

[Faux Pas]

I left my computer running, but off line today.  I'm not pointing fingers, but the virus scan ran it's weekly scan, and found two trojans.

You're paranoid. Trojans can and do come from anywhere even the most innocent sites.

[BC]

You're paranoid. Trojans can and do come from anywhere even the most innocent sites.

Dump the mom, marry the teenager instead.

Is that what it's all about?

[phantom]

BC,

No it's not about marrying the teenager.  I would never do anything like that.  It's about her actions.  Not, paranoid, I usually don't get trojans, must have been from a site I clicked on.

[GoodOlBoy]

Dump the mom, marry the teenager instead.

Is that what it's all about?

BC....Go gaze into the "Mirror Of Shame" and say 10 Hail Mary's for your "advice" to Phantom. 


GOB

[Shadow]

BC,

No it's not about marrying the teenager.  I would never do anything like that.  It's about her actions.  Not, paranoid, I usually don't get trojans, must have been from a site I clicked on.

Probably picked up the torjans from sites that promise to detect spyware...most ARE spyware. 

[BC]

BC....Go gaze into the "Mirror Of Shame" and say 10 Hail Mary's for your "advice" to Phantom. 


GOB

Was tongue in cheek aimed at Faux, not phantom..

Boy, aren't we taking ourselves seriously these days.. LOL

Instead I'll take 10 sauced noodles, tie them together and suck em down at one time.  promise....