Should I be suspicious?

[tai_guy]

I have been writing to a very nice young lady in the Ukraine for a few weeks now, and I've been reading all her letters carefully for the red flags this forum warns about. So far, she always answers all my questions, asks plenty of her own, doesn't give me any sob stories about sick parents and seems to be genuinely interested in me. She also hasn't confessed true and undying love, which is good. (I guess).

But in the past 2 letters, she's been dropping hints about how nice it would be to recieve flowers. In the most recent one, she said she'd love to receive flowers from me, and she'll send me a picture of her with the flowers I sent.

Being an absolute newb, I didn't even know you could have flowers sent to someone in the Ukraine when I'm in the US. I also don't know if asking for flowers is a scam, since I can't think of how the lady could get anything out of it (unless she gets a kickback from the florist).


So should I be suspicious? Is there some vile scam that starts with having a newbie send a girl flowers, or is it just some young girl's whim to have flowers sent to her on St. Valentine's day? Do they even celebrate St. Valentine's day in the FSU?

Sorry for all the newbie questions. I just don't want to do anyting stupid.

[Daveman]

Heh, well, I wouldn't say it's suspicious really. Kind of unusual, which may be an indicator that today it's flowers, tomorrow it's a monthly stipend.  But if the issue is only a red flag about a woman wanting to get flowers from a man in whom she's interested, I'd say don't worry about this. Send her some flowers on Valentine's day.  If you are still in contact, send her some flowers on Woman's day.  BUT, if you see it progressing to hinting about other things prior to meeting her in person, THEN I'd say it's a red flag.  Right now, I'd say it's just something to keep in mind but women love to get flowers from a man they are interested in.  Perhaps others will have a different take, but I say at this time, that it's really not much of anything to worry about unless it begins to progress.

[Vinnvinny]

Yes, in Ukraine they celebrate St Valentine’s day. I would send her some flowers but don’t use any company she may suggest. You could make a big impression or lose a small amount of money.

[GoodOlBoy]

Being an absolute newb, I didn't even know you could have flowers sent to someone in the Ukraine when I'm in the US. I also don't know if asking for flowers is a scam, since I can't think of how the lady could get anything out of it (unless she gets a kickback from the florist).

Yes Tai_guy, she can get a kickback from the Agency for milking you.

How did you make contact with this girl?

Through an Agency? Free Personals?
 

So should I be suspicious? [/b]

Yes, always be suspicious.

Atleast until you get on a plane and meet her.

Sorry for all the newbie questions. I just don't want to do anyting stupid.

NO PROBLEM.

This is exactly what RWD is here for.


GOB

[OlgaH]

Do you use any dating agency? If so, does the dating agency also offer the gifts for ladies on it's website?

First of all ask your lady to give you her full mail address and her full name (first name, middle name and last name). and of course her phones' numbers.  

[Kuna]

How did you originally contact this girl?  Some sites arrange flower and gift delivery and if so this may very well be a scam... an agency scam.  She encourages you to send flower (at the agencies inflated prices) and she gets a cut.

I will say this... when I saw your thread and before I opened the link my answer was YES.... you should be suspicious of everything and everyone you contact - and prior to meeting - but don't be paranoid.

IMHO it's normal and reasonable to send flowers on Womans Day, so that would be the time to do it.

And yes, some have gotten sucked in by the Valentines Day scam too (that's a big scam all over the world) but Woman's Day is THE BIG DAY for your FSUW.  If you're still in contact with her on March 8 be sure to surprise her with flowers... under the proviso that it's not jsut and agency raking in the money.

[Daveman]

Yes, in Ukraine they celebrate St Valentine’s day. I would send her some flowers but don’t use any company she may suggest. You could make a big impression or lose a small amount of money.

yep, not much to lose with flowers, plus it's the PERFECT opportunity to get a photo of the delivery.  To hint about flowers, must mean she either has already given or is willing to give him her address.

Have you already exchanged personal info?  After two weeks, you should already be speaking on the phone if she's serious about you.  At least, for me, after two letters, I ask for contact info. I have yet to have an FSU woman say "no" because they want to learn about you just as much.

[Daveman]

ooops, I forgot about the agencies in house gift nonsense (funny slip after all the talk about HRB)... do NOT buy the flowers through the agency if there is one.  I'm speaking about you sending flowers on your own from an absolutely non connected third party.

[Faux Pas]

Good advice from all these guys. I think all of it hinges on whether you write her through an agency. One more piece to add to the mix. If this lady lived in the next town or down the street. Would she have hinted at flowers and more importantly would you be feeling the need to send them as you seem to be feeling now?

This lady is from another country, not another planet. If she did hint in the same manner and lived down the street from you, how would you react then? Would you send them or blow her off?

If you wish to send them you can do it here.

http://www.russianflowershop.com/valentine.shtml?source=newsletter&id=1783

[Gator]

tai-guy,

I see no red flags other than the fact most well-intended RW would not suggest that you buy them flowers.  They expect a man to know what to do without reminders.

If her intentions are good, she must like you and is looking for some sign that you are also serious and not greedy.  So buy her some flowers NOW. 

There are many flower delivery services operating in the FSU.  I used this one:

http://www.russianservice.com/

You will need her address and telephone number.  Upon getting her number, stop writing and start calling.  If you are still together a month from now, buy her more flowers for Woman's day as Kuna suggested.

[jj]

tai-guy- 

just like the men write to different FSU woman, she may be corresponding with more than you, and has already received flowers before, and looking to see if you are willing to do the same.  I am certainly not saying this is the case, but trying to bring up some thoughts on your question.   I would send them from a delivery sevice of your choice and get the photo and see what develops. 

[SMS60]

I don't think it is a good idea to be buying gifts for any women who you are not committed too and she not to you.

This is leaning to the bad idea of buying her attention. She is already hinting that you need to buy her affection. Most of the time this will get worse.

Any self respecting women who is serious about forming a relationship will not expect this. Much less bring it to your attention. When things become more serious then the gifts start flowing.

As Gator stated she will test with the issues of money but not this early in a new aquintance.

If this women is interest she will not scare away because you did not buy flowers.

[Faux Pas]

I don't think it is a good idea to be buying gifts for any women who you are not committed too and she not to you.

This is leaning to the bad idea of buying her attention. She is already hinting that you need to buy her affection. Most of the time this will get worse.

Any self respecting women who is serious about forming a relationship will not expect this. Much less bring it to your attention. When things become more serious then the gifts start flowing.

As Gator stated she will test with the issues of money but not this early in a new aquintance.

If this women is interest she will not scare away because you did not buy flowers.

I dunno. It is definitely a test but, it takes so little to pass this test why not go ahead and pass it? Of course this contingent that he wishes to keep communicating with this lady. Unless she is on the "hook to rook" with the agency, I see no harm in sending her flowers.

To borrow a Sculpto phrase "I can give you an example". Valentines day is approaching and many, many FSUW have never even once in their lives received flowers from anyone. All of them want to receive some, especially on New Years, Valentines and Women's day. When flowers arrive (especially on these days) the recipient is overjoyed and those without them are green with envy. If this lady is legit, why not impress her with some flowers?

[SMS60]

Yes Faux Pas I see your point

I will try and explain my view.

I think by buying the flowers after a couple of weeks of e-mailing you are operating from the position of fear. I dont think this is good. You are buying because you are scared she will dump you. Its way to early to be thinking like this. You have to come from the position of strength.

If she is worth it she wont run or ask.

My opinion

[Vinnvinny]

tai_guy: You wrote in an earlier thread that you were ‘ready to take the plunge, and let the dice fall as they may.’ For the dice to start to fall you first have to throw it. If you continue to pursue a FSU lady then spending a few dollars on a bunch of flowers is about as low risk as you can get.

SMS60: Please don’t find my comments offensive but I think your last 2 posts say more about you than they do about tai_guy’s girl. Just my opinion. 

[ScottinCrimea]

I think it's a little unusual for her to hint at him sending flowers to her.  It may be a test to see if she can hint at money for English lessons or some such later on.  Of course it could also be a test of his early feelings for her (should he even be having any yet?).  What I think is more unusual is her saying that she will send him pictures of her with the flowers.  I mean, would anyone you know ask for a gift and say  they will send you a picture of them with the gift? It seems she is trying to ward off any concerns he might have that she is a scammer, being somewhat proactive.  Of course it may be perfectly innocent and she has either been through this before, gotten some advice from the agency or heard stories from others, but it just doesn't seem to me like a normal thing to offer out of the blue.

I agree that it's small change to send the flowers and it will either leave a positive impression or smoke her out.  Like others have recommended, do NOT send them via the agency or anyone she suggests.  If she becomes insistent at all about this, or if she balks at giveing you her address so you can sent them independently, I think you will have your answer.

Keep in mind that the more information you can provide members here (within your comfort zone) the more we can help you with questions such as this.

[SMS60]

Oh Vinnvinny

Its not about me or the women( she has nothing to do with it). Its about keeping the OP from getting his heart ripped out or scammed. We want him to find the right women. This is his test for her .

My opinion

[Vinnvinny]

Fair enough SMS60. I guess I am too much of a risk taking romantic.

My divorce lawyers opinion. 

[Diplomacy]

Well, it is Valentines Day.  Women are very aware of what each other gets from their significant others on Valentines Day.  Think of it as a big Envy parade, always deliver flowers to work.  It is a big part of the spectacle.

So if you care for a woman, keep this in mind always.  Hallmark Holiday, you bet your bottom dollar.  Failing to send them, is not good.  Women do not feel good if they get nothing, I know us men could care less.  We have our toys, guns, and sports to contend with.

I agree a little odd, and my Tai(almost a grandpa pun?)  You may be being set up for sure, welcome to the fun pursuit.  You do not send them, you are really putting yourself in a bad position.  You do send them, think of it as Texas Hold Em.  You got some decent cards, you are paying to see the flop.

I do want you to read, read, read, and ask questions.  It does worry me with how difficult and interesting this pursuit is.  You did not research first, that you could send flowers to Ukraine.  The other tasks involved are a lot more complex than sending flowers.

Use the time you buy with the flowers, to become an educated person in this endeavor.  It could be something, could be nothing more than a lonely girl wanting some attention on Valentines day.  Pretty complex huh?

[Doll]

tai-guy,

I see no red flags other than the fact most well-intended RW would not suggest that you buy them flowers.  They expect a man to know what to do without reminders.

If her intentions are good, she must like you and is looking for some sign that you are also serious and not greedy.  So buy her some flowers NOW. 

 
You will need her address and telephone number.  Upon getting her number, stop writing and start calling.  If you are still together a month from now, buy her more flowers for Woman's day as Kuna suggested.

[Faux Pas]

I think it's a little unusual for her to hint at him sending flowers to her.  It may be a test to see if she can hint at money for English lessons or some such later on.  Of course it could also be a test of his early feelings for her (should he even be having any yet?).  What I think is more unusual is her saying that she will send him pictures of her with the flowers.  I mean, would anyone you know ask for a gift and say  they will send you a picture of them with the gift? It seems she is trying to ward off any concerns he might have that she is a scammer, being somewhat proactive.  Of course it may be perfectly innocent and she has either been through this before, gotten some advice from the agency or heard stories from others, but it just doesn't seem to me like a normal thing to offer out of the blue.

I agree that it's small change to send the flowers and it will either leave a positive impression or smoke her out.  Like others have recommended, do NOT send them via the agency or anyone she suggests.  If she becomes insistent at all about this, or if she balks at giveing you her address so you can sent them independently, I think you will have your answer.

Keep in mind that the more information you can provide members here (within your comfort zone) the more we can help you with questions such as this.

Unusual perhaps that she asked however, but not completely out of bounds. I see it as a test for her if he decides to send them. He sends them from his source, she is either thrilled and sends him a picture or p!ssed because he didn't go through the agency. He obviously is enjoying his communication with her to even contemplate sending flowers. It would certainly be worth the 50-100 bucks to check her reaction. It could save him boo-koo in the long run or a chance he finds she is, in fact, real and serious.

[kryten41]

tai guy, if you decide to send flowers, send an odd number, and avoid yellow roses unless she tells you these are her favorites.

[BC]

Possibilities:

She runs a corner flower stand and is amazed she can maintain an infinite profit margin by writing emails instead of having to pay suppliers.  Her stand is one near a couple of agencies that regularly send her orders to fill.  Either she gets paid for delivering nothing to herself or her GF network, or can recycle flowers delivered by other flower shops, re-sending them to girls who sometimes bring them back to her for a couple bucks.  She sometimes sees the same bouquet two or three times a day.  Great business model, better than those 'get rich quick' schemes.

She has heard that AM send flowers as a scam check and is hinting it is ok to do so to confirm her as not being a scammer.

She is declaring that she has not had a BF in a while.

The first girl is very resourceful, the second outgoing, the third.. well.. she can cook.

All good 'keeper' qualities.. 

 

[Doll]

She runs a corner flower stand and is amazed she can maintain an infinite profit margin by writing emails instead of having to pay suppliers.

[Diplomacy]

 :usdeyes: :selfharm:

Pure genius or insanity BC.  Saved me a cup of coffee now, I am wide awake and laughing.  Bravo!