So, you want to marry a younger Russian woman.

[Coulter]

Damn!  That's a super tough choice to make Jack. Sorry to hear how it went. I  recently married a girl who is 18 years younger than me... in fact, she  will arrive here next week! We lived together for about 9 months in  Russia and married in June. She has no kids but loves them very much  and has raised her sisters kids.. as her sister has some problems.  Anyway.. I knew there was no getting around the kid issue. She said at  the beginning, that she maybe would be ok with no kids.. but the more I  knew her, the more i knew she never would be happy without them. She  really needs a kid to complete her dreams, as many women do. Also, she  said when I am dead and gone... she wants our child or children to be  around so she won't be alone in life. I had to think long and hard (no  pun intended) and it was a tough choice for me too. Did I really want  to start a new family? My daughter is 19 and my son 23!!! I had never  thought I would start over.. but I really love her and want her to feel  complete. I decided we'd go for it. I feel real excited about it now  that I made the choice to go ahead and do it.. in a couple years that  is.

I wish you the best... I know how hard this must have been for you.

Jon

Congratulations!
It is not my business of course, but sooner the better IMHO.

[TigerPaws]

[size="4"] [color="blue"]As someone who is over 50 and has both an adult son in the Army and a 31/2 year old daughter it is both easier and more difficult this time around dealing with a baby and small child again.
 The easy part is that I have been there and done that so this time around I kind of know what I am doing and though it has been over 20 years between changing diapers it was not all that difficult to get back into the swing of things again. The really difficult part was those late night feedings, when you are under 35 those all nighters are a lot easier, also keeping up with a toddler and going through the terrible 2's is a lot more difficult. I guess the easy part is having a great deal more patience and understanding, I will say that I rely on my wife a great deal more this time around than I did the first time. Maybe that is because I am getting older and a bit lazy or that she is more than happy to do more, I really do not know but it is ok with me.
 I would not encourage a man 50 and over to start a family again as that is only a decision he can make. Would I do it again knowing what I know now? Sure I knew going into this that if I wanted a much younger lady then a child (only 1) would be in my future so there was no surprises for me. I would say to a man nearing 50 that if you are considering going down this path then do it sooner rather than later and choose a lady who is inclined to be a mother and housewife, it will make things much easier on you.
[/color]
[/size]

[bonbon]

[color="red"][size="4"]You know guys what the majority of Russian/Ukrainian people think of  you, those who are OLD and want to marry a young chick? They think  you're pedophiles and energy vampires who suck their youthful energy  to keep yourselves younger. Nothing personal, but [size="4"]someth[/size][/size][/color][color="red"][size="4"]ing to think  about.[/size][/color]

[Admin]

[color="red"][size="4"]You know guys what the majority of Russian/Ukrainian people think of  you, those who are OLD and want to marry a young chick? They think  you're pedophiles and energy vampires who suck their youthful energy  to keep yourselves younger. Nothing personal, but [size="4"]someth[/size][/size][/color][color="red"][size="4"]ing to think  about.[/size][/color]

bonbon,

That is quite an entrance you make to RWD. Welcome - now please tell us something about yourself - starting with why you are here - and how it is you claim to know what the "majority of Russian/Ukrainian people" are thinking??

TIA

- Dan

[bonbon]

OK, let me clarify this. The majority of people I know from  Russian/Ukrainian forums where the brides-to-be or already married RW  discuss you guys. Only two out of over a hundred or so said they prefer  older guys for whatever reason. Others, a VAST MAJORITY of them, say  they feel like the old guys want just a warm young body next to them  and they're pedophiles. Just wanted to point this out as I think it's a  good idea to think of what the other side thinks/believes. Also, it is  true that most of those women, esp. without kids, will want kids and  why marry a young chick only to divorce her because the guy doesn't  want kids or has no desire to raise any more kids?

Also, think about the difference  in everything. If there is 20+  age difference, that means they grew up in different eras, not just  different cultures. They usually have differnt tastes for everything,  different values, etc. Just having friends who are way too old for her  or way too young for him is going to be a problem sooner or later. In  general, a marriage with a huge age gap (20+ years) is looked at as a  NOT normal thing in FSU. The reason, ususally, why the girl still  decides to marry an old guy, is that she wants to get out of powerty,  otherwise she could wait a bit longer and find a guy of a  much  closer age group. Being desperate is what makes a girl forget her youth  and burry herself into an "old" world. She may say a totally different  thing to you, but deep down I bet she regrets about giving her youth up  and marrying an old guy. And what happens after 10 years or so? If he  is 50 and married a 25 yrs old, in 10 years he's 60 and she's still  blossoming. How many guys of 60+ can really satiafy her sexually? How  many are really capable of playing tennis or camping with their 9-10  yrs old kid if they happen to get one? How about in 20 years? She is 45  and he is ancient. An antique! :?  All she will do is visiting him in a hospital and looking at this old  body and regret all her decisions. Do you guys really think that when a  guy is 70 and a girl is, say 45 or so, they really make up a nice  couple? C'mon, open your eyes. Read some Russian brides' forums and see  what they say about this issue. Read how they make fun of the old  wrinkled butts (excuse my straightforwardness). Read how they get angry  about the guys wanting to marry a young girl to first have a nice young  body next to her and then have a free living-in  nurse to take  care of him. When a guy is ancient and a woman is still young and full  of energy, how can she expect her husband to take care of her? Don't  you guys think that taking care has to be mutual?

[Admin]

OK, let me clarify this. The majority of people I know from  Russian/Ukrainian forums where the brides-to-be or already married RW  discuss you guys. Only two out of over a hundred or so said they prefer  older guys for whatever reason. Others, a VAST MAJORITY of them, say  they feel like the old guys want just a warm young body next to them  and they're pedophiles. Just wanted to point this out as I think it's a  good idea to think of what the other side thinks/believes. Also, it is  true that most of those women, esp. without kids, will want kids and  why marry a young chick only to divorce her because the guy doesn't  want kids or has no desire to raise any more kids?

Also, think about the difference  in everything. If there is 20+  age difference, that means they grew up in different eras, not just  different cultures. They usually have differnt tastes for everything,  different values, etc. Just having friends who are way too old for her  or way too young for him is going to be a problem sooner or later. In  general, a marriage with a huge age gap (20+ years) is looked at as a  NOT normal thing in FSU. The reason, ususally, why the girl still  decides to marry an old guy, is that she wants to get out of powerty,  otherwise she could wait a bit longer and find a guy of a  much  closer age group. Being desperate is what makes a girl forget her youth  and burry herself into an "old" world. She may say a totally different  thing to you, but deep down I bet she regrets about giving her youth up  and marrying an old guy. And what happens after 10 years or so? If he  is 50 and married a 25 yrs old, in 10 years he's 60 and she's still  blossoming. How many guys of 60+ can really satiafy her sexually? How  many are really capable of playing tennis or camping with their 9-10  yrs old kid if they happen to get one? How about in 20 years? She is 45  and he is ancient. An antique! :?  All she will do is visiting him in a hospital and looking at this old  body and regret all her decisions. Do you guys really think that when a  guy is 70 and a girl is, say 45 or so, they realla make up a nice  couple? C'mon, open your eyes. Read some Russian brides' forums and see  what they say about this issue. Read how they make fun of the old  wrinkled butts (excuse my straightforwardness). Read how they get angry  about the guys wanting to marry a young girl to first have a nice young  body next to her and then have a free living-in  nurse to take  hare of him. When a guy is ancient and a woman is still young and full  of energy, how can she expect that her husband takes care of her? Don't  you guys think that taking care has to be mutual?

BB,

You present only one side of a VERY controversial subject. The topic has been discussed ad nauseum on discussion boards and in social circles for CENTURIES. I doubt we will solve the riddle here - but by all means - have a 'go' at it.

You do present something that is always a bit of a 'hot button' for me. As I do some consulting which involves statistical analysis based on various sampling methods, when I see the presentation of statistics, it always piques my interest. You reference "two out of over a hundred" - and I wonder how valid that is. Of course, there are other variables that would need to be addressed to determine validity - such as what demographic is drawn to the particular boards where you participate - which would beg the question as to which boards those are.

Your post may turn out to be valuable - and I sincerely hope it is - but you MUST know that when you come onto a board like this, and you make the sorts of critical comments you made, you are BOUND to receive some serious challenges.

- Dan

[TigerPaws]

[color="#0000ff"][size="4"]bonbon,[/size][/color]    [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]

 Welcome to the discussion, but I  believe you are making a statement biased on facts not yet in evidence, my wife  and I have a 19 year age difference and if you want to tale about "[color="#ff0000"]energy vampires[color="#0000ff"]" then maybe you should be addressing what our  3-1/2 year old daughter does to us.

 We know a number of couples who have been  married for several years now who have a similar age difference, some less some  more, my wife's younger sister (25 years old living in Moscow) prefers men who are at least 40.  Your bold statement seems a bit rash and without corroborating evidence about  your claim, you are more than welcome to  elaborate.[/color][/color][/size][/color]

[MandM]

Bonbon,

They rarely think so far ahead, they don't care about woman's future as long as they get a 'few good years together'!

Agree that in Russia marriages with a big age gap are frowned upon. My auntie is married to a man who is 13 years older than her and he is called an 'old husband' behind his back by some people!

Even if one's wife says that she is fine with a big age difference, it is not necessarily what she really feels, and definitely not what her family thinks about their precious girl marrying some old man.

[BC]

Bonbon,

I also believe most in RU would like to marry within their own age group.  A survey of RU women population would probably show this quite clearly.

Real life though is quite different than that shown in surveys and includes many compromises.

On average you are probably correct..  but such knowledge will not help around here where the goal often is a younger wife.

[TigerPaws]

[color="#0000ff"][size="4"]bonbon,[/size][/color]    [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]

 LoL it looks like our posts crossed  each other in cyber space, please if you would not mind answering a few  questions about yourself for clarification.[/size][/color]   [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]

1. Have you been to any countries  within the FSU yet?[/size][/color]   [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]

2. If so how many, which countries  and for how long at a time?[/size][/color]   [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]

3. Are you currently married to a  lady for one of the FSU countries?
[/size][/color] [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]    a. If your answer is yes then for  how long?[/size][/color] [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]   
     b If your answer is no then why  are you making such a
        statement?[/size][/color]

[RacerX]

bonbon ~ this topic of age difference has been beaten to death on this and other forums, so there is absolutely nothing you could say or add that hasn't been repeated dozens of times.

However,  you need to be careful when talking about men you have never met.  For example, did you know that George Bush, Sr. did a solo parachute jump on the occasion of his 80th birthday?  

Rather than get all uptight about the differences in age, don't you think the couple's mutual respect and love for each other has anything to do with the quality or longevity of their relationship, or in your book is age the only important factor?

[bonbon]

I've lived there for quite a long time so I know what I'm talking about  when saying a girl wants to get out of powerty by any means. I've been  to many places of the European part of the FSU as well, including the  Baltics.

I am married and this is an "international marriage". By the way, no previous marriages/kids on either side.

[KenC]

Bonbon.

Welcome to RWD.  I happen to agree with most of what you posted.  I do think that the majority of RW do seek a spouse close to their own age.  I also agree that the majority of RW (and all women in general) that enter into a marriage with a much older man are financially motivated.  I even tend to agree that the majority of RW seeking an AM are doing so to improve their standard of living.

But there are exceptions to every rule too.  My wife of almost 7 years is 25 years my junior.  She didn't "escape" from Russia as she had a rather good and plentiful life there.  There was no need for her to use her youth as a ticket to America.  In fact, she never really did seek to leave her own country.  If she had had the desire, she had many a previous opportuntiy to leave with much younger and much younger men than I.

Where you step across the line of decency and common sense is when you reference "pedophilia."  By definition, pedophilia is:

sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object[/i]

No one here is in support of this in any way or any form.  It is only your ignorance that allows you to use such vocabulary.  It is only human nature for a man (of any age) to be attracted to a vibrant young woman.  There is no sexual perversion to that at all.

KenC[/size]

[Admin]

I've lived there for quite a long time so I know what I'm talking about  when saying a girl wants to get out of powerty by any means. I've been  to many places of the European part of the FSU as well, including the  Baltics.

I am married and this is an "international marriage". By the way, no previous marriages/kids on either side.

BB,

I take it you are a RW? How much of an age difference is there between you and your spouse? Where do you live now?

- Dan

[bonbon]

the quality or longevity of their relationship

Of course!    This is the most important aspect. But how will they have quality if,  say, a woman is still young and wants sex, and a husband simply isn't  able to satisfy her? How long will she be fooled about such a  "quality". Besides sex, there are simple thing such as housekeeping,  traveling, hobbies. I've heard about Bush's para jump. How many of the  old men you know is able to do that too?

[TigerPaws]

[color="blue"][size="4"]bonbon,

 Before you go off on a rant in this thread please look through the 32 pages on this very subject at http://russianwomendiscussion.com/forum5/32.html

Then come back and see what you have to offer to the discussion.


[/size][/color]

[bonbon]

KenC, I just repeated what is being said over and over among the RWs on  their forums. If you're able to read in Russian, go ahead and read it  for yourself if you don't believe me. I' don't care who is a pedophile  and who is not. What I'm trying to say is what the Russian girls are  talking about and just wanted to throw a bone in to chew on. Just  love teasing, he he.

[KenC]

Bonbon,

I realise that you are just the messenger, but maybe you could educate the ignorant RW on their use of the term.  As I said above, I agree with most of what you posted.  I have always said that I do not reccomend a RW/AM couple to tackle the obvious hurdles involved with a marriage between people with a large age gap.  It is not for the weak of heart.

KenC

[BC]

Wow.. haven't seen this many ppm in a while..

(posts per minute)..

[bonbon]

Tiger, thanx for the link. I bet it must be interesting, but I don't  think I'd find anything new either. I have more than enough of what has  been said by the RWs and in this thread. Actually, I'm not really  studying this issue and don't have a particular interest in it. This  thread was the first one I read here and just wanted to share my two  cents. Sometimes it  is helpful to see what the other side thinks, that's all I wanted to  say. I personally have no problems with the age difference as there are  just a few years difference in our marriage. But it really sucks  (pardon my French )  when the guys don't think of the future of their own wives. I had  enough of reading the Hot Line on the Russian forums and can imagine  how big an issue an age gap could be. But guys often think about now  and today, not about what is tomorrow and 10-20 years from now. Reading  the very first post in this thread just got my attention and made me  wonder what are those guys thinking when marrying a young chick.  Marrying a girl, giving her hopes, and then destroying them just like  this? It might be a good idea for the guy to put himself into her shoes  before they marry and see how she can be hurt if he just simply uses  her and throws her out just because he doesn't want any committments.  That really sucks, you know.

[Bruno]

BB,

I take it you are a RW? How much of an age difference is there between you and your spouse? Where do you live now?

- Dan

Only a guess..

BB is a woman from Ukraine, have visit France... live in UK ( maybe London ) the last 9 year... and is married 11 year ago... birthday somewhere in december

Of course, i am not sure...

In any case, i agree partially with her ( him ? )... about the later problem due to HIGH difference of age... about that several old man wish a very young women : not specially for sex ( called by her pedophilia ) but more for the trophy wife...

 

[TigerPaws]

[color="blue"][size="4"]bonbon,

 We have enough trols trying to make things difficult with throwing bombs just to see what sh*t will stick to the walls. I gather from your English you are not from America or England?

 Please try to bring something interesting and constructive to the discussion, if you do not approve of a couple having a large age difference, then that is ok but do not accuse someone of having  [/size][/color][color="blue"][size="3"]pedophilia[/size][/color][color="blue"][size="4"] when the woman is clearly an adult.
[/size][/color]

[TigerPaws]

[color="#0000ff"][size="4"]Bruno, bonbon,

[/size][/color]   [color="#0000ff"][size="4"] I have said this before, What is  wrong with having a Trophy Wife as long as both people are happy?

[/size][/color]   [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]bonbon,

[/size][/color]   [color="#0000ff"][size="4"] 20 years from now I will be long  dead and gone, my lady will be well taken care of so what do I care, enjoy life  today because tomorrow may never arrive.[/size][/color]

[bonbon]

Wow, wow, wow!:shock:  How interesting!

btw, I have already said that I've simply repeated what OTHERS think  and say about this issue and I don't care who is a real pedophile and  who is not. I agree that this term has been misused by the RWs.  Whatever.

BB,

I take it you are a RW? How much of an age difference is there between you and your spouse? Where do you live now?

- Dan

Only a guess..

BB is a woman from Ukraine, have visit France... live in UK ( maybe  London ) the last 9 year... and is married 11 year ago... birthday  somewhere in december

Of course, i am not sure...

In any case, i agree partially with her ( him ? )... about the  later problem due to HIGH difference of age... about that several old  man wish a very young women : not specially for sex ( called by her  pedophilia ) but more for the trophy wife...
   [/quote]

[bonbon]

Mon cher Bruno,

I haven't laughed that hard for a long time. Thanks! :D:D:D:D:D