So, you want to marry a younger Russian woman.

[catzenmouse]

midwest,

 Welcome to RWD! Sorry to read about your bad results. I hope that the next adventure will be a life long one for you.

Ken

[Leslie]

As usual mischief has a sensible view -

"Marriages with big age difference has existed for centuries….  There are different reason for different people to marry older partner… As long as they don't marry under compulsion and are ready to accept the consequences, nobody has the right to judge their will… "


This is also the legal position in Europe and the USA.

All the theorizing on possible future problems is just so much bullsh*t. 

Charlie Chaplin fathered his last child in his 80's and he had a huge age difference with his last wife.  My wife's father was 19 years older than her mother but guess what - she died first.  You cannot plan for cancer.........

Extreme age differences are very problematic.  I like Conner's example "I am 70 and she will be 14 next birthday"  This relationship would be a crime in UK or USA,  but it is legal in Ukraine....

Personally I have a problem with late middle aged guys (50+) and young women (under 25)  A small percentage of these marriages work out but mostly it is about lust and money.  Neither is the basis for a long term relationship as the many train wreck stories highlight

IMHO you have to share a vision of the future to build a successful marriage.  Jack originally highlighted a fundamental element of this vision - Children.  There are others: Careers, where to live etc.  This vision has to be built together.  Both sides must agree.

Every person sets their own criteria when choosing a mate.  Successful people set reasonable criteria and try to build happy marriages.  If you set unreasonable criteria you are likely to remain single or embark relationships which are doomed to fail.

For an FSU woman in her thirties it is important to realize that looking for a western guy who is less than 10 years older than you is an unreasonable criteria.  You will very likely not marry a WM.  Nearly all the guys involved in this endeavour are looking to marry a younger woman.

One of my wife's friends is in this situation.  Spent the last 10 years looking for her "Prince" who is rich, good looking, the same age.  Yada. Yada.  Acting just like an upper east side princess.  And the result is the same.  All she has is a cat.  At 37 her marriage story is very likely over.  Once a woman smells of cat piss they become invisible to men whether they live in Manhattan or FSU !

 

 

 

 

 

[TigerPaws]

[color="blue"][size="4"]
Well said Leslie, well said:clapping:
[/size][/color]

[Oosik]

When I said age differences were more comon over there, I was even thinking in the 8-10 year range! I knew a guy who had a funky beard, and had his hair and beard bleached blonde. He compulsivly went to the gym. Why? He showed me a picture of why. He was 35 and had a 25 year old wife and he was so happy and whipped about it that he did whatever she wanted, even if other men his age thought he looked silly. That 10 year age gap was the golden ring to him!!!

[Son of Clyde]

Leslie,

I am a fan of Charlie Chaplin but his problem is that he NEVER dated within his age group. Lita Grey his first wife was in one of his movies at the age of 15 and Chaplin was about 34 at the time. They did marry and had a son Charles Chaplin Jr who appeared in a few movies. The divorce between Charles Sr and Lita Grey apparently was what turned his hair white.

 Chaplin also married Paullette Goddard (she was about 22 years younger). Chaplin met Oona (Chaplin) O'Neil (Eugene O'Neil's daughter)when she was about 17 and he was about 37 years older. He was accepted by her father and apparently Chaplin was a perfect gentleman until he married Oona O'Neil.

So I am a Chaplin fan but do not agree with his lifestyle 100%.

[Oosik]

[One of my wife's friends is in this situation. Spent the last 10 years looking for her "Prince" who is rich, good looking, the same age. Yada. Yada. Acting just like an upper east side princess. And the result is the same. All she has is a cat. At 37 her marriage story is very likely over. Once a woman smells of cat piss they become invisible to men whether they live in Manhattan or FSU

Ahh, this is the woman we are avoiding here. The good news is they are rapidly removing themselves from the gene pool, and unless she is a teacher she won't be infecting any young un's with her views.

PS I love the cat piss thing, ROTFL








[/quote]

[TigerPaws]

[color="blue"][size="4"]Oosk,[/size][/color] [color="blue"] [/color] [color="blue"][size="4"] What Leslie is describing is the  Knight in Shining Armor syndrome, I am not sure why but all to many girls and  women cling to that fantasy. I sold the horse and armor a long time ago but I  kept my sword for the occasional dragon (lady?).
[/size][/color]

[Jeff Mowatt]

Jack, Your story of a relationship with a younger woman is rather  different to my own. Like you I'd  been  travelling and  meeting  for a number of years before  taking the plunge and  bringing a woman and her 2 children to the UK on a fiancee visa.

At 52 I'd never married or had children and up to the point of her  arrival, our conversations had been around "growing our family" It  was  only a few weeks into her visa that I discovered  that  this wasn't exactly what she wanted.

She'd taken a positive pregnancy test and though it later turned out to  be a false alarm, I learned much in those few days.  it was pretty  plain that this wasn't a moment of joy for her. 

So there I was, having wanted to be a father for a lifetime, though  ready to accept that it might not be possible, about to take two  children into my life,  then discovering not only that it was  possible but that this,  perhaps my only chance, would readlly be  diisposed of. The thought  of marrying someone who  plainly  didn't want my child  naturally  weighed heavily and began to  influence other aspects of our relationship.

It wasn't one of these nightmare stories I've read in dispatches, we  were simply growing apart within the few weeks that we'd lived together.

Eventually I put it to her that we would not marry and I'd support her  back home, that was 2 years ago. I agreed to get the children into a  good school and help her establish a better life, we remained friends  and I re-visited in the hope that her views may have changed.   That was until very recently when I learned that just as I was planning  my next visit, she'd taken off for a job in Moscow.

She wrote briefly before she left to thank me for her birthday flowers,  saying that she'd taken the children out of school and left then in the  village with her mother.  With her parents' sanction she'd gone to  start anew in the hope that  she'd "meet someone to share my life  with".

She had a friend who'd since married in my country.  I'd helped  her too in the past when she'd lost a  job and was faced with  parting with her own child. In fact I returned home with some things  she'd wanted which she thanked me for although her husband having asked  for my address never forwarded what I'd spent. It seemed obvious that  the 2 girls were still in communication but she  had nothing to  say on the subject of the disappearance. So I reasoned, as otherwise  she would have since asked me if I'd heard anything. Hence I've   discounted the thought that she may have been a human trafficing  victim.

These experiences haven't been enhanced by the UK couple who've just  cost Terry and I time and money in attempting to sell their Kharkov  apartment. 

Anyway, I'm left with the conclusion that although a difference in age  might seem acceptable in principle at first, sooner or later the truth  will out and it won't be comfortable.

Jeff

 

[TigerPaws]

[color="#0000ff"][size="4"]Jeff,

[/size][/color]   [color="#0000ff"][size="4"] Maybe it is me but why bother to  help her after she returned? Sorry but what is the point? Move on man. Life is  too short to bother with a lost cause, as many (including myself) have said this  is a numbers game why fixate on a failure? I do not know and believe me I am not  picking on you but your story reads like a Greek tragedy, after she did not work  out and you shipped her home it was time to look towards greener pastures, as  least in my ever so humble opinion.[/size][/color]

[Jeff Mowatt]

Well, because I'd taken her away from what little she had and would  have returned her to less with no job to go  back to.  It was  within my power to make that much effort and ensure that from a  disappointing outcome there were no victims.

In Ukraine, I've recently learned that 90% of children in Detsky Doms  are there merely because their parents could not support them.   I'd hate to turn  on my TV one day  to see  one of those  documentaries about pitiful orphanages and actually recognise  a  face.   In fact, I could look at those faces I don't know and  imagine that I might have failed them without ever knowing them and I'd  not be pleased with myself knowing that  my failed efforts had  brought more unhappiness than if I'd never bothered.

It's my conscience,  that of an older man,  wanting  to not leave this world  any worse than when I joined it.



     

[jb]

Jeff,

I wish more men felt that way.  Your actions tell me that you are  more of a gentleman than most of the loonies who make foolish choices  with younger women. The fact that you cared about what impact your  mistakes have on other peoples lives speaks volumes about your true  character.

Good for you, and I wish you well in your future endeavors.

[TigerPaws]

[user=700]Jeff Mowatt[/user] wrote:

Well, because I'd taken her away from what little she had and would  have returned her to less with no job to go  back to.  It was  within my power to make that much effort and ensure that from a  disappointing outcome there were no victims.

In Ukraine, I've recently learned that 90% of children in Detsky Doms  are there merely because their parents could not support them.   I'd hate to turn  on my TV one day  to see  one of those  documentaries about pitiful orphanages and actually recognise  a  face.   In fact, I could look at those faces I don't know and  imagine that I might have failed them without ever knowing them and I'd  not be pleased with myself knowing that  my failed efforts had  brought more unhappiness than if I'd never bothered.

It's my conscience,  that of an older man,  wanting  to not leave this world  any worse than when I joined it.

[color="#0000ff"][size="4"]Jeff,

[/size][/color]   [color="#0000ff"][size="4"] While I appreciate your sentiment  and your resulting actions things like this sometimes take on a life of their  own and spiral out of control by fueling the belief that western men are rich  and an easy mark. Whatever you or anyone else may or may not do is of  course up to that person and their own personal values. While  actions  such as yours may seem reasonable and prudent to us (western men) [/size][/color][color="#0000ff"][size="4"]unfortunately they [/size][/color][color="#0000ff"][size="4"]are all to  often taken as weakness in many of the FSU countries where western values are  not the same.

[/size][/color]   [color="#0000ff"][size="4"] All the best in your  search.[/size][/color]

[tim 360]

A quick read of this thread shows that some have a very hard-headed opinion when it comes to age differences.  But,  this is not the sole criteria to use as to whether a relationship is lasting or not.

There are usually many other factors at work.  Any man experienced with women knows this.  Age difference is but one factor and to make it a dominant theme is silly...humans are far more complex than that. 

In short,  women are prone to fall in love with the man who makes them feel good---about themselves. 

That is the dimension to measure,  not the age,  not the shoe size,  not the height or hair color.....that is all part of the sideshow for those who need to measure everything with calipers.  And succeed at nothing but mouthing (typing) their limited circumscribed beleifs in an unkind way. 

[Wayne]

A few years ago, I was writing to Natasha from Simeferpol, Crimea, Ukraine.  Her Mother ran an orphanage there.  She told me about the many childen who were abandoned, and it is a really bad problem there.  Many times, American couples adopt these children.  I know of one family who adopted three children, already, from Ukraine.  Also, when I was at the airport in Simeferpol waiting in a long line, there was a woman and her adult daughter from America who make several trips to Ukraine each year and help with the poor children. 

There is an English speaking guide that I have used in Krasnoyarsk, Siberia who helps American families who wish to adopt Russian children.  Of course, in America, it is very difficult to adopt a baby or young child who is light skin, healthy and desireable, so many American families look to other countries. 

In FSU countries, many times, it is very difficult for a Mother to earn enough to care for her child.  Usually, a woman only has one child.  I wrote to Ella from Yalta.  She was 35 years old at the time, never married and without children.  She was looking outside of Ukraine for a husband who would be willing to start a family with her.  She told me that she had lived with a local man for several years, but he did not want to have a child.  They broke up because of this reason. 

It seems like it is difficult for a FSU woman over 30 years old with a child to find a good local man. 

 

 

[TigerPaws]

Wayne,

 Difficult is an understatement, damn near impossible. Hells Bells several people posting on the forum including myself know very attractive ladies in the big cities between 25 and 30 without any children and they find it very difficult to getting a date let alone find a reliable man to settle down with.

[dorogoyroberto]

Gentlemen,

Although the young lady in this photo is obviously not Russian, this is  a teaser from the agency "A New Wife." It assists no one in any serious  quest for a wife...except for the agency looking to further line its  pockets...

Roberto
Kiev, Ukraine

http://anewwife.com/women/update.htm

[TigerPaws]

[color="#0000ff"][size="4"][size="4"][color="blue"] What you and  others forget, is that you are dealing with a business and the people who run  them are in business to make money, some business owners are honest, some are  dishonest and some walk a thin line between the two. Get over the romance of  finding a lady and remember with whom you are dealing with when you use any  services provided by any agency.[/color] [/size][/size][/color]

[dorogoyroberto]

Mr. TigerPaws,

Oh no, sir, I did not forget, hence the post...

Roberto
Kiev, Ukraine

[Albert]

Quite an innocent situation here.  The man is the owner of a sugar plantation.  The girl is the grand daughter of his foreman.  He is merely at her 17th birthday party.

[TigerPaws]

[size="4"][color="blue"]Right! if you believe that I have a bridge for sale:cool:[/color]
[/size]

[Ste]

[size="4"]Right! if you believe that I have a bridge for sale:cool:
[/size]

I'm selling this one on Ebay right now....

....no, hang on, I sold this already (or a similar one, hehehe) to some guy in Arizona.........

Ste

[MandM]

dorogoy roberto,

Is it anono on that picture with a beautiful girl?

[dorogoyroberto]

Ms. MandM,

Not sure if Latinas are an attraction for him. ¿Quién sabe?

Roberto (of Portuguese and Brazilian descent)
Kiev, Ukraine

[Son of Clyde]

dorogoy roberto,

Is it anono on that picture with a beautiful girl?

Could it be the infamous John Collins (Jawn)?

[BC]

maybe he's that ranger guy that used to hang around.. wonder what happened to his social business..