A UW's View of A Failed Marriage

[ambach123]

GOB, ethnic slurs are not tolerated on this Board or in the United States.
People like you are a disgrace to mankind; the problem is that the rest of us can't get rid of you.
You are like leprosy to our beloved country and this board.
You are on my ignore list, I would appreciate if you never make a comment on any of my posts.
I am sure there is a nearby KKK meeting you can attend.

[BC]

You honestly think that giving a woman a "good life" will compensate for all of your other inadequacies?

From the OP:

You know it's all hard to explain, it was 9 years ago. He did lot's of good things for me and I appreciate him for that. We lived in a very nice area, huge new building, nice car, nice things, travelled a lot, everything was wonderful, but his character was too hard for me.

Well it did not compensate for this woman. Reading between the lines of reported train wrecks such seems fairly common.

[groovlstk]

From the OP:

Well it did not compensate for this woman. Reading between the lines of reported train wrecks such seems fairly common.

Yes, and so is the aggrieved husband's take that he bought her a home, car, paid for English lessons, etc. - so why couldn't she just be happy?

Sound familiar?

Stability is a requirement but so are a number of other qualities - if you come up short in satisfying her spiritual, romantic, and sexual needs, she'll look elsewhere for these.

[BC]

GOB, ethnic slurs are not tolerated on this Board or in the United States.
People like you are a disgrace to mankind; the problem is that the rest of us can't get rid of you.
You are like leprosy to our beloved country and this board.
You are on my ignore list, I would appreciate if you never make a comment on any of my posts.
I am sure there is a nearby KKK meeting you can attend.

Isn't it interesting that two wrongs make a right..

Although GOB's post may have been over the PC line, your response seems to amplify the direction of his thoughts.. hmm..

Just food for thought.

[BC]

Sound familiar?

Too familiar..  To be quite honest there were times where such fleeting thoughts crossed my mind in tough moments.. but fortunately I was able to keep my mouth shut long enough to reflect and realize:  "WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I THINKING... SHE'S MY WIFE FOR PETE'S SAKE !!!"

Impulsive behavior is a relationship killer IMHO.

jb often said that one needed the patience of a Saint to survive this venture.  I'm a believer.

[Blues Fairy]

FWIW most psychologist are in favor of heated conversations, it is cathartic. The difference may be that both AM and AW shout at each other in American couples, she probably did not.

FYI, "most psychologist" advocate developing active listening and empathy skills as the best means of constructive conflict resolution and relationship-building.  I don't see how these can be exercised when both parties are wound up and yelling at each other (or in the OP's case, one yelling at the other). 

BTW my husband is American and he hardly raises his voice at anyone, let alone me.  But that takes confidence and security, both of which must be alien to the couples you have witnessed, or to you if you seriously believe yelling cannot be done without.

[Diplomacy]

I will say that my conflict resolution has been changed for the better.  My fiance retreats, to think calm and come back.  I would not say I am much for yelling, more just try to deal with and find common ground right away.

I do not think yelling is good for anyone.  I grew up with it, and it is horrible for a child to endure. 

I see nothing wrong with the letter, it is a very well thought out,concise and expectations are clearly set.  I applaud someone that will open up a bad part of their life, to improve and learn from.

You really are missing the point, IMO.  I hope some good man finds her, and treats her the way she wants to be treated.  Also, after watching group dynamics in Ukraine.  I think that this woman's perspective is also shared with other women.  Maybe listen and learn?

[steve057]

"But then again, I read on one of your previous posts that you were "Turkish" and felt like one of the "oppressed" masses."


 Is this the racial slur you refer to ambach123? It is just a statement of a previous post, I see no racial slur there! Sounds like you are being a bit sensitive to someone that disagrees with you to me or IMHO. So then you lash out and call him a "leper" and a "KKK" member. Wow, you really showed him didn't you? I really don't think that GOB is going to mind being on your ignore list to be honest with you,but then again it is my opinion.

[Jumper]

facetrock- you're still around?

offtopic ,and perhaps better for another thread,,

but how did things ever work out with the going to visit a known scammer?

since i guessed the original scenerio, i've always wondered how it all played out in Ukriane, and after