Return to Kharkov December 2008 and February 2009

[GoodBrew]

This story picks up where I left off my last trip to Kharkov which you can read here.  I was returning to see Anya (Furniture Gal) who I had such a great time meeting in July.  We had spent our time apart getting to know each other by phone, email, and SMS, and this trip was to determine just how serious we were about each other.  As the passengers boarded the flight to Kharkov in Kiev I noticed there was another American on board who was carrying a bouquet of pink roses.  After we deplaned in Kharkov I saw his terp meet with him and announce “I will be your interpreter for the week”.  I never saw his lady.  The terp, however, was smokin' hot.  As I started looking for Anya and Mila I couldn't help but think of how out of place he looked.  Then it hit me.  That was me a little more than three years ago when I first landed in Ukraine.  About that time Mila and Anya walked up to greet me.  Soon we were off to check me into the apartment at Kultury and Prospect Lenina.

The apartment Mila found for me is a nice 2 room flat within walking distance to Pizza Bella, McDonald's, the Nauchnaya Metro station, and some good markets, banks, and currency exchanges.  After some small talk and exchange of gifts Anya and I head to Pizza Bella for dinner.  The pizza is pretty good, and they have an English menu.  We call it an early evening after dinner due to oncoming jet lag.  Tomorrow I will meet with her and her friend Natasha and Natasha's daughter, Nastya.  Apparently her friends will be the main ones scrutinizing me as her parents live in a village outside Chernigov.

Some pics from the July trip.  Anya bowling at Kompas, the two of us outside Stargorod, and the immigration lines at KBP when I was leaving in July and their computers crashed twice.

[GoodBrew]

Next day I take the Metro to the station nearest Anya's flat, Geroev Truda (Geroev Pratsi).  We will be meeting Natasha and her 12 year old daughter, Nastya, at the Karavan shopping mall, a short walk from the metro.  After meeting them we decide to have tea and blini at a cafe inside the mall.  Nastya is being tutored in English by Anya but is very shy around the American.  It takes about an hour for her to warm up to me, but curiosity finally gets the better of her and she decides to practice speaking English with me.  Natasha and I attempt to speak Russian to each other on occasion, but too often the Russian phrasebook has to make an appearance.  She does seem to be impressed with the Barron's Traveler's Language Guide that I am using.  I learn that Anya has started ice skating at the rink in the mall, and she wants me to join her while I am in town.  This should be fun.  I have not been on ice skates in over 25 years.  As we leave the mall I encourage Nastya to continue with her English studies and say goodbye to both of them.  We decide to walk back to Kompas for a full meal while Anya's roommate, Julia, makes their apartment presentable.

Kompas is a multilevel entertainment establishment where we went bowling the last time I was in Kharkov.  The bowling alley is on the top floor with a club underneath it.  The nautical theme restaurant on the floor level is moderately priced, and the food is pretty good.  To get to Kompas you can get on the metro at station Universitet near the Lenin Monument and ride to Geroev Truda at the end of the line.  Kompas will be just outside the metro station.  We finally get the approval from Julia to make our way to their flat.  Like most of the apartments I have seen in Ukraine the common areas look rough, but the interior of the one room flat has been updated very well.  The view is exceptional and overlooks Kompas.  Anya tells me that this part of the city was not popular until recently.  Julia is very reserved around me, and she knows no English at all.  We decide to have some tea and enjoy some of the Lindt chocolates that I brought Anya while we watch some music videos.  Newbies take note.  Lindt chocolates, especially their Lindor truffles, make good gifts.  Since I had trouble sleeping the previous night I decide to call it an early evening.  Tomorrow we will go skating at the Daphi mall.

Karavan ice rink.

[HiTech]

My shoulder is still hurting from that ice rink in Augest.

Dale

[GoodBrew]

The skating rink at Daphi is decent, but Anya tells me that the ice is better at Karavan.  The rink is also set up for hockey and has some stands for spectators.  Skating is an inexpensive and fun date activity in Kharkov, so I would definitely recommend it.   Anya has had maybe three lessons at this point and skates quite well for a newbie.  I manage to stay upright the whole time.  Not bad for someone who has not been skating in 25 years.  One young lady is not so lucky as she takes a bad fall and appears to have suffered a concussion.  While I am sitting in the stands tightening the laces on my skates I overhear some English being spoken by a guy seated next to me.  Turns out he is from a city in Georgia less than an hour's drive from where I was born.  This is his first trip to Kharkov, and he is here with a date as well.  It is his first time on ice skates, so he is not enjoying it nearly as much as his date.  

After skating it is time to talk over more serious things.  I explain to her that I am not in Kharkov for fun, and we need to decide if we are serious enough about each other to consider whether marriage will be in the future.  I also let her know that I found her profile on an agency website, so we talk for awhile about her experiences in the agency.  “It is very fahnny.  A man would write maybe one month or two and then nothing.  Then another man would write, and the same thing would happen.”  The oldest man who wrote to her was over 70 and had a son in her age group.  “These men...they just wanted to write to someone.  Not serious.”  Her answer as to whether she ever thought something would come of her agency involvement.... “I am realist.  Show me!”  So there you have it.  If you want one of these ladies to take you seriously step away from the keyboard and get on the flippin' plane!    After our little talk I walked her back to her flat.  

One more thing.  Try not to breathe too deeply walking to Karavan or Daphi or you'll get a big whiff of raw sewage.  

[Faux Pas]

When I was growing up in Georgia ice skating rinks were far and few in between. In fact I never saw one. Roller skating rinks were another matter 

[GoodBrew]

When I was growing up in Georgia ice skating rinks were far and few in between. In fact I never saw one. Roller skating rinks were another matter 

I guess all the time I spent at the Roller Kingdom growing up is what kept me from having some nasty falls.  The Ice Forum northeast of Atlanta in Duluth is the closest ice rink to me.  We watched hockey practice at Daphi in February, and she has decided that she likes it now as well. 

BTW, I am still having trouble explaining to her the difference between dogs and DAWGS. 

 

[Tamara]

“These men...they just wanted to write to someone.  Not serious.”  Her answer as to whether she ever thought something would come of her agency involvement.... “I am realist.  Show me!”  So there you have it.  If you want one of these ladies to take you seriously step away from the keyboard and get on the flippin' plane!    After our little talk I walked her back to her flat.  

GoodBrew, this is a great advice for everybody here.  To form a strong and serious relationship you do need to get on the plane and go.  First, you will see if there is chemistry between you and the lady and actually show her that the relationship is serious.  Don't wait forever before this happens!

[Faux Pas]

I guess all the time I spent at the Roller Kingdom growing up is what kept me from having some nasty falls.  The Ice Forum northeast of Atlanta in Duluth is the closest ice rink to me.  We watched hockey practice at Daphi in February, and she has decided that she likes it now as well. 

BTW, I am still having trouble explaining to her the difference between dogs and DAWGS. 

 

I've been through the very same thing. Of course she has no idea of college football but I'm betting her first game at Stanford stadium or the cocktail party and she will be illuminated.

[GoodBrew]

The next evening we are to meet with Tanya, another friend of Anya's. Tanya will be moving to the USA in the Spring to be with her fiancée in south Florida. We meet at Gastinaya which is across the street from the Shevchenko Monument. Tanya is very funny, and the conversation flows easily in spite of some language difficulties. She is somewhat concerned about her grasp of English and how well she will adapt to life in the USA. Both ladies are concerned about the economic downturn and the effects that it is having in Ukraine and the USA. When Anya excuses herself to visit the ladies' room Tanya gives me the hard sell.

“Skoote. What about Anya? She is beautiful girl. Nice figure. Very intelligent. You should be together!”

At this point Tanya really does not have to sell me on her friend. I have made up my mind to return again to see Anya and maybe surprise her on Valentine's Day. After dinner we say goodbye to Tanya, and I learn that I will be meeting Anya's English teacher, Olya, on the following night.

Olya meets us the following evening at Cafe Fiji at Sumskaya and Petrovskogo. Fiji has a great atmosphere, and the food is good. Olya is very tall and her accent is barely distinguishable when she speaks English. So far I have received the stamp of approval from Anya's friends. Olya is very businesslike, and she is asking some pointed questions of me about where Anya and I would live, would she work, what we expect out of each other, etc. My answers seem to satisfy both of them, and Olya excuses herself after dinner. Since we are enjoying ourselves and Fiji has such a relaxing atmosphere Anya and I linger for awhile. We are seated in a far corner, and the wait staff wisely leaves us alone while we enjoy each others company.   

 

[Daveman]

I guess all the time I spent at the Roller Kingdom growing up is what kept me from having some nasty falls.  The Ice Forum northeast of Atlanta in Duluth is the closest ice rink to me.  We watched hockey practice at Daphi in February, and she has decided that she likes it now as well. 

BTW, I am still having trouble explaining to her the difference between dogs and DAWGS. 

 

LoL! just send her a photo of Uga

I'm enjoying your report, Goodbrew.. good luck!

[GoodBrew]

The next evening we decide to go ice skating at Karavan.  The ice is better here, but my skates do not fit well at all.  It is also very crowded.  Mila has joined us to take some photos, but my Nikon has decided that it's time for a lens error.  Karavan also has a bowling alley, and we bowl a few games after skating.  Mila thinks that it would be better for me to return to meet Anya's parents rather than spring a surprise visit.  I have to agree with her, and plans are made to return to Kharkov in early February.  We have a brief meeting the following night as I have to catch the bus to BorySpil.  As the bus pulls out of the station I begin to think about returning to see Anya before I fall asleep.  Unfortunately it will not be a very smooth ride, and I begin to wonder if there is some sort of pothole magnet implanted in the wheels.  About halfway into the trip I hear the steady thump, thump, thump of flat tires.  The bus does manage to get to BorySpil on time, but I vow to take the train next time.  The rest of the trip home is uneventful with the exception of arriving in New York during their first snowstorm of the season. 

On Christmas Day Anya is introduced to my family via web cam with the help of Mila.  In early January the return flight is booked, and Mila tells me that she has a great apartment on 23rd of August for me.  Anya and I have discussed in general terms that it would be good for us to be married in Kharkov sometime in June, since she has English classes in May at the university.  When I return to see her this time I will formally ask her to marry me.

Cell phone camera pics from earlier trips to Kharkov.  If I had been quicker on the draw there would be fewer shots from behind.

[GoodBrew]

I've been through the very same thing. Of course she has no idea of college football but I'm betting her first game at Stanford stadium or the cocktail party and she will be illuminated.

LoL! just send her a photo of Uga

"What does this mean, tailgating?"
"It is like a party with a cookout, honey."
"And in the game the people bark when the ball is hit?"
"When it is kicked, yes, they do."
"Ah....veddy intrasting.  I must see."

Thankfully there is YouTube for her to see it better than I could explain it..

[GoodBrew]

About two weeks before I travel to see Anya again the jeweler tells me that her engagement ring is ready.  Mila had to ask her for her ring size, so any chance of this being a surprise was probably gone.  When I picked up her ring it finally hit me that it was really going to happen, and the nervousness kicked in.  How was I going to ask for her parents' permission to marry her?  Where would I ask her to marry me?  Since I had to convert her ring size to the American standard did I manage to get it correct?  Well, her mother had to be hospitalized a week prior to my arrival, and I would not meet her parents this time.  The plan would be to take her to Sharikof for a nice Valentine's Day dinner, and then ask her to marry me there.  Hopefully, the chart that I used to convert the ring size would be correct.  Everything appeared to be coming together.

A new airline service had started between Athens and Atlanta, and it would cost less to take this round trip flight than leave my car parked near the Atlanta airport.  The flight to Kiev was scheduled through CDG in Paris, and by design there would be almost four hours between connecting flights.  The flight to Paris took off 3.5 hours late due to problems with the nav system and fuel pump.  So much for hitting the first mark.  There was still a possibility that I could make the flight from Kiev to Kharkov, since I was scheduled on the next flight to Kiev out of CDG.  The bad news was that my checked bag, the one with the gift for Anya's father, was now missing.  My string of delayed flights continued, this time by 45 minutes.  Once I cleared customs I waited to see if my bag had been loaded on my flight.  I finally cleared the customs area an hour later after filling out all the required lost luggage forms.  The flight to Kharkov was long gone, but I was prepared this time and had printed out the train schedule prior to leaving the USA.

Plane for the first leg of my trip Athens to Atlanta.

[GoodBrew]

I made sure to tell Mila and Anya what had happened, and that I would arrive around 06:30 according to the schedule.  The taxi to the train station cost more than the 2nd class ticket that I purchased.  The train departed at 22:20 with three other passengers in the berth with me.  I think we took turns waking each other up snoring during the night.  Mila and her husband were waiting on me when I arrived in Kharkov.  After a brief stop to pick up some water and pastries for my breakfast we arrived at the apartment on 23rd of August St.  Other than the place on Ivanova St. that I was kicked out of by a drunken apartment owner this would be my favorite place to stay in Kharkov.  I saw Anya after her work.  She is also tutoring students in English, and I sat in on one of her lessons with a lady named Ira.  Ira had met a man from Copenhagen while on vacation in Crimea, and she was learning English to communicate better with him.  It's kind of funny to observe someone who was unsure of her English just seven months ago teach a novice.  Every now and then they ask me a question, so I become involved in Ira's lesson as well.  I will have Anya to myself most of the next day.

When I arrived in Kharkov Mila had taken my documents from me for translation into Ukrainian.  All these documents also had to be notarized, and Mila was busy with other clients.  That left Anya and I to find a notary on a Saturday, and she did not know one.  There were three people who I knew may be able to help us, Natasha, the office manager at Charming Brides, Valya, a friend of mine who is engaged to an Englishman, and a well-known translator/guide who has assisted me with apartment rental in the past.  Two of those people were willing to assist me.  Even though I had not done any business with Charming Brides in over a year Natasha sent me a SMS with the address of a notary.  Valya also knew of a notary and would assist us.  The third, well he sent me an SMS that stated he only assisted his clients with a notary.  Now I would have gladly parted with some grivna as a finder's fee, but he wasn't interested in assisting me.  So for all you Kharkov travelers in need of some local assistance I can only say choose wisely.  This particular exercise in futility came to an end when Mila told us we could take care of everything on my last day in Kharkov.  I met Anya later, and we paid a visit to Tanya's flat for an English lesson.

[GoodBrew]

Tanya's flat is currently being remodeled to rent when she leaves for the USA.  When we arrive her youngest son is using a small electric jackhammer to remove a section of wall which makes an English lesson impossible.  She shows us a phrasebook of American slang for Russian speakers that her fiancée gave her.  It is surprisingly good material, and she wants to go over a few slang phrases with me.  Conversation is impossible with all the noise, and we agree to come back later for homemade borscht.  Anya and I head to the Daphi shopping mall to go skating until later. 

When we arrive at Daphi we find that the mall is hosting an ice skating show for Valentine's Day starring a group from Dnepropetrovsk.  Regardless of what anyone else may tell you Valentine's Day is becoming a big deal in Ukraine.  Chocolates, flowers, big fuzzy pillow hearts exclaiming “Be my Valentine” in Russian are all for sale near the metro station.  “Ask the lady how much it costs to watch the show.”  “It is free.”   “My favorite price, let's go in!”  The stands are maybe half full when we are seated.  By the time the exhibition ends they will be full.  The production is not nearly as cheesy as the Ice Capades of old and is choreographed to pop songs that I recognize.  One appropriately costumed group skates to All That Jazz from Chicago the Musical.  Anya's verdict on the whole production is “SUPER!!”  Once the exhibition is over we decide to eat at the café by the rink.

[GoodBrew]

I have been waiting for the right opportunity to formally ask for her hand in marriage.  My luggage has still not arrived, and I have two pairs of jeans, two shirts, two pairs of socks, and one pair of casual shoes that I can choose from to wear on our dates.  Tanya joked earlier that I am much like a Ukrainian man.  The clothing situation has effectively ended my idea of asking her at Sharikof.  With both of us still buzzing over the ice show I decide to wing it.  The ring fit perfectly. 

[GoodBrew]

We picked up some champagne and sweets on the way out of Daphi and headed back to Tanya's.  The jackhammer has been retired for the evening, and the demolition looks to have gone smoothly after we left.  The smell of borscht permeates the apartment.  The champagne flows freely, and the Tanya's borscht is excellent.  Later in the evening we phone my family with the good news.  The next couple of days will be a blur of ice skating and English lessons.  After we went skating at Daphi one evening we sat at the café and watched hockey practice.  Anya had never seen hockey up close, and she quickly decided that hockey is worth watching.  I pointed out to her that one of the players was wearing the jersey of my local pro team, the Atlanta Thrashers, and we would have an opportunity to watch practice and see them in action once she gets to the USA.

[GoodBrew]

On my last day in Kharkov we had to visit the wedding palace to fill out the required forms and have them approved by the appropriate officials.  Mila had two other clients in town while I was there and spent much of her evening hours translating my documents to Ukrainian for the notary.  Earlier in the day she had all my documents notarized, and she would be meeting Anya and me at the wedding palace.  Since Mila and I arrived early we decided to go in the building and walk upstairs to the offices.  Mila warned me that the lady who runs this office has a reputation for strict adherence to rules and regulations.  It was the official lunchtime for the employees at this building, and while we waited for Anya we witnessed a couple being run out of the office by this lady.  The young man was not happy and walked away muttering to his lady.  Mila explained that he was cursing as he was leaving.  We were then told to leave the hallway outside the office area as well.  We waited outside until Anya arrived from her work, and then went back inside to wait in the warm stairwell. 

At 14:00 the office was back open for business, and we had more official documents to complete in Ukrainian.  All our documents had to be approved by one official before they were presented to Ms. Details.  We all noticed a very young couple in the office filling out their forms at the same time as us.  While all three of us were debating how old we thought they were Mila says to me “He is from Indiana.”  When the Hoosier finished all his forms I introduced myself.  It turns out he had been living in Kharkov for three years with his family, all of them working as missionaries, and he was happy to hear a southern accent after his time outside the USA.  It was now our time to sit before the office manager, and I wished the Hoosier and his bride to be well as they left the building.  All our documents were in order and received the blessing of Ms. Details.  Weddings were not being scheduled for June, and Anya was advised to return after Women's Day to set the date for our wedding.

[GoodBrew]

Anya had to return to work after our time at the wedding palace, and I had to pack for departure.  My flight out of KBP was scheduled to leave at 06:30.  Snow was in the forecast, and the train appeared to be the best option to get me to Kiev.  I was not happy that the flight and train schedule would mean that we would not have any time together in the evening.  Anya had let her displeasure about my travel plans be known earlier.  “Why do you have to leave tonight?  Can you change your flights, so we can be together?  You are leaving, and now I will not know what to do in the evening when you are gone.”  Yeah, it sucked to have to tell her that I had to go. 

At the appropriate time Mila and her husband came by the apartment and took me to the train station.  Anya and her friend Natasha arrived later to see me off.  This time I had the berth to myself, which was nice.  My luggage had finally arrived early in the morning, and I at least had a decent change of clothes for the flights home.  The ladies stayed on the landing until the train left, and I fell asleep sometime after the train passed Poltava.  When I awoke the train was about 30 minutes outside Kiev, and there was an inch or two of fresh snow on the ground.  I managed to make all the flights back to Atlanta only to find that the state was under a tornado watch, and the final flight to Athens would be canceled.  Airport Express van service delivered me to my car about an hour later than I would have arrived by plane.  The day after I arrived home the planning started for the next trip, which will begin June 24th.  Our wedding will take place on June 27th, and we are planning to honeymoon in Turkey.

[Simoni]

Congrats, Goodbrew.  Nice Trip Report.

We wish you the best of luck as you get to know your lady even more, and as the wedding approaches.

Two things that stand out from your TR that newbies should notice in CAPITAL letters.

1) Don't fly through Paris.  It is horrible for missed connections. I never go that route anymore.

2) Don't check luggage, or if you do, carry on what you will need for 3 days.  Lost luggage to Kharkiv?  It happened on ALL my 5 trips there.  And then you are stuck spending your time running to the airport to check on the status of your luggage, which usually comes, as in your case, as you are leaving.

~Si

[GoodBrew]

Congrats, Goodbrew.  Nice Trip Report.

Two things that stand out from your TR that newbies should notice in CAPITAL letters.

1) Don't fly through Paris.  It is horrible for missed connections. I never go that route anymore.

Yep.  The money I saved by connecting through CDG was not worth the aggravation caused by missed flights and lost luggage.  For the return in June it will be ATL->JFK->KBP->HRK.         

2) Don't check luggage, or if you do, carry on what you will need for 3 days.  Lost luggage to Kharkiv?  It happened on ALL my 5 trips there.  And then you are stuck spending your time running to the airport to check on the status of your luggage, which usually comes, as in your case, as you are leaving.
~Si

Sound advice.  My luck with checked luggage finally ran out on my eighth trip to Ukraine.  This time the carry on bag was full of gifts instead of a couple of extra changes of clothing.

We wish you the best of luck as you get to know your lady even more, and as the wedding approaches.

Thanks Simoni.  There will be an additional TR in July after the festivities.  Until then I am trying to find out all I can about Ukrainian wedding traditions and resorts in Turkey.

GB 

 

[Simoni]

I took a girl once to a great resort in Turkey, in Anatolia.  I'll PM you the info...

[Simoni]

...I am trying to find out all I can about Ukrainian wedding traditions and resorts in Turkey.

GB 

 

Or better yet, I'll share the info here so others can use it:

http://www.antalyaresorts.com/listingview.php?listingID=31&name=Sheraton+Voyager+Antalya

It is an American hotel, which I liked.  Great breakfast, beautiful views of the Med, and a private sandy beach.

Plus, I used Sheraton points, and stayed there free :-)

PS-- when I searched my computer for Antalya, I found not only the hotel info, but old pics from that trip.  I'm trashing them; my wife has sharp knives!!!

[GoodBrew]

PS-- when I searched my computer for Antalya, I found an old pic from that trip.  I'm trashing it; my wife has sharp knives!!!

  There are few on my home computer that will have to hit the ol' recycle bin before too long. 

[Simoni]

There are few on my home computer that will have to hit the ol' recycle bin before too long, including some that were taken in 2006 and include the wife of one of the recently married members of RWD. 

Now that's funny!

Who knows, that 6 foot tall blond with blue eyes may also be married to a "member!"  LOL
To play it safe, I won't mention names.  How many 6 footers are there in Kharkiv, anyway?  LOL