Russia in Winter

[bobb]

Part 2 – Meetings with friends and general thoughts

Monday morning we go to register my passport.  Monday morning we go to the local OVIR and L hands over my passport.  After close scrutiny we discover a small problem… Oops…I had a tourist visa instead of a personal visa.  Another person is called from another room.  L has to fill out some paperwork.  We walk outside and around to the side of the building and enter another room.  More paperwork and a warning next time there would be a big fine.  We go back to the first office and pay a small fee and it’s done.  I can’t remember for sure but I think the fee was  - $5 or $10, something like that.  I do remember wondering to myself…What will they do send me back to Moscow?  A little example of the hassles of traveling to Russia.

My first meeting with someone outside L’s family was after our OVIR adventure. It is the windiest and coldest day during my time in Izhevsk.  I am all bundled up and only my checks and nose are exposed.  By the time we reach the University they are almost stinging.  I am so glad to get inside.  We climb two flights of stairs and go to her office where I meet several of her coworkers.  

Her colleagues are nice and we share tea and chocolate with them, and her direct boss.  It is a daily ritual at work for L.  In the late morning they take a break and have coffee or tea and one person brings in a bar of chocolate that is shared.  Everywhere we go in the building people greet L with such affection and smiles.  We eat a small lunch in the faculty cafeteria before we leave.  It seems they are all as eager to meet me as her family was.  L has been working here since 1981.

On our way back to her home we walk through a park she walks through every day to and from work.  In the fall she would describe the golden leaves on the ground on her daily walks.  She has also spoken of the many people in the park when the weather is warm.  Our next stop is a small food store.  We stop every couple days for something at different small food stores.  At some we would only buy fruits and others would be like a small Mom and Pop food store from years ago.  We never did go to any ‘large’ supermarket.  Since most ordinary Russians do not have cars when they go shopping for food they usually buy no more than can fit in one, or maybe two bags, as they have to then walk with this/these bag(s) to their homes.  The small stores are everywhere and there is very little large scale food shopping like here.  In eight days I think we went to these stores for food 5 days.  Sometimes we would visit a few different ones in a day.  

Every day but one, we either went to visit family or friends or someone came to visit us at L’s.  In the week I meet, besides her co-workers and family, five of her friends during visits and a couple other friends when we were walking somewhere.  One woman has married a Canadian and is just waiting for the final paperwork to move near Toronto.  She could speak good English but had a thick accent.  I had to really strain to understand at times.  L, on the other hand, does not have a thick accent.  Sure, she has an accent when speaking English but nothing like her friend.  I did a little translating that afternoon.  This friend had a computer and printer so we went on the Internet and I printed out the DS 230 form.  I wanted to go over this with L later in the week.   This friend told L, after I was introduced to her, I looked like my photos.  L, after her return from our meeting in St Petersburg in October, has shown all her friends photos of me that I had sent to her after printing them on my computer.      

Every time we either visited, or a friend visited us, L was very proud to introduce me.  I was always able to say some things in Russian.  My favorite beginning line was to say their name followed by pleased to meet you (Ochen priyatna).  This opening always provoked a smile and raised eyebrows.  It was obvious L’s friends would miss her when she comes to America.  One friend brought a bottle of champagne which we consumed in one afternoon to celebrate us finding each other.  They all could see the change in L after she told them about us.  They were all very happy for her.  In Russia, a woman over 40, and L is 57, just does not find a man to marry.  Even though communication was light they could see what type of person I was and how L and I interacted.  That is what they were really looking for.  

One day we go to the Kalisnikov museum in Izhevsk.  I’m not really interested in guns but it is an interesting place.  I didn’t really see a lot of Izhevsk because of the time of year and the weather.  But, it has been a very mild winter for Russia, at least Russia west of the Urals and maybe for all of Russia as far as I know.  They have just not had the real cold temperatures.  It has been cold enough though that it hasn’t risen above freezing since late November or early December.  There was plenty of snow.  It was mainly a white and shades of dark world I was experiencing.  Or as L described in a letter recently:

“City will be changed soon and it will replace the dirty grey suit...”

Every home I was in had a computer.  In all cases the computer belonged to the son or daughter in the house.  I would guess the computer literacy of Russians 40 – 60 is almost nil if they are not exposed to it through work.  L will have lots of time to obtain computer skills after she arrives here.  I think when I’m back there in the summer I will look for Computers for Dummies in Russian, or something along those lines.  I can already see now I will have to be very tactful explaining the word Dummies is just a word and not to take it personal.  Any suggestions would be welcome!

Friday evening we went to an Opera with her good friend L.  L has known L for over 30 years.  She has been teaching English for over 30 years.  It was so different to be able to talk in English for long stretches.  I had to talk slowly but it was nice to speak in full sentences and be understood completely.  Her friend said in the more than 30 years they have known each other the two of them have never had a disagreement.  Not one.  Her additional comments just added to my long list of confirmations I had already seen in L before and during this visit.  I have found a wonderful woman.  It is also fortunate I fully realize what I have found and understand my good fortune.

TO BE CONTINUED...  

[bobb]

Today I learned something that may help me with L and English, if she doesn't learn this before she arrives.

I'm a school mentor for BBBS.  Today, as every Wednesday for 1 hour, I was with my 'little' at his school.  He's in 4th grade and has troubles with learning and is a poor reader.  I joined him in this special class with one other child.  I sat down and the teacher was attempting to teach them an important rule? that I may have learned so long ago I can't remember. 

I mentioned earlier about L always sounding silent e's.  Today I learned short words ending in e and another word that is the same without the e, there seems to be a rule.  At least I am taking it as a rule.

hope - hop
slope - slop
tape - tap

You get the idea. 

She explained to them that the e causes the previous vowel to be sounded like its true sound in English.  In the shorter word it sounds different.  Both English and Russian have vowel reduction rules I’ve learned.  So, there are similarities.  This is also relevant with stress in words.  Unstressed vowels in both languages undergo this reduction. 

I've added a few more photos that go with my previous posts.  For some reason I have problems trying to post more than 4 or 5 photos at a time, even though the max is 10.

[bobb]

Just a post to catch up with some more photos.

[Tamara]

I mentioned earlier about L always sounding silent e's.  Today I learned short words ending in e and another word that is the same without the e, there seems to be a rule.  At least I am taking it as a rule.

hope - hop
slope - slop
tape - tap

You get the idea. 

She explained to them that the e causes the previous vowel to be sounded like its true sound in English.  In the shorter word it sounds different.  Both English and Russian have vowel reduction rules I’ve learned.  So, there are similarities.  This is also relevant with stress in words.  Unstressed vowels in both languages undergo this reduction. 

The main rule we teach and study English Language while learning is the concept of open and closed syllables.

The Open Syllable is the one that ends in a vowel. This syllable, according to the rule, must be read as in the English alphabet. (But please remember that there are tons of exceptions to this rule!)
a /ei/
Examples:
Cake, wake, take, famous, label, shame, safe, ...
o /ou/
Example:
Bone, tone, phone, home, focus, ...
e /i:/
Example:
Leaf, seed, fee, mere, compete, delete, deer, ...
i (y) /ai/
Example:
Die, dye, fine, rhyme, miner, quite, psyche, like, desire, admire, pride, etc.

The Closed Syllable is the one that ends in a consonant. The Closed Stressed Syllables have a special reading.

[SANDRO43]

The Open Syllable is the one that ends in a vowel. This syllable, according to the rule, must be read as in the English alphabet. (But please remember that there are tons of exceptions to this rule!)

Tamara, I'd venture that trying to teach vowel pronounciation based on the hopelessly inconsistent spelling of English (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=6383.msg116159#msg116159) is an almost self-defeating exercise, also considering that most vowels in English are pronounced rather indistinctly: is it LONDON or LAHNDON or something inbetween ? I was never totally sure, even when carefully listening to the BBC News.

[bobb]

It was real comfortable during the times when we were in her house before going somewhere, or just at times when we had no plans.  It was very domestic and just plain enjoyable to be together and not doing anything of great importance.  Sometimes we might watch a little TV and other days we would spend some time on her son’s computer (bigger and faster than my computer) discussing things with Google translate.  I never really ever had a need to go out for something on my own.  But, on Thursday she did let me go by myself across the street to a few stores while she was busy with something else.     

Whenever we were outside walking, we rarely took a taxi and on colder days we would only take a bus for 1 or 2 stops, we would always have our gloved hands together.  During the day it seemed the buses had about 90% females - many babushka’s.  We would be communicating in our limited manner, but we were always saying something and laughing.  It is good L’s English is better than my Russian.  We were constantly smiling and just enjoying our time together.  During my entire time with L in Izhevsk I never thought about life back at home, work, or when I would be leaving.  I could never live in Russia, but after I retire in maybe 10 years or so I could see spending a month there easily with L and her family.     

One afternoon we used V’s computer to go over the forms she would need to take with her to the interview in Moscow at the U.S. embassy this summer.  There wasn’t a great deal of additional information I couldn’t obtain from the G-325A already submitted.  The only time both in St Petersburg and in Izhevsk where my patience was tested in trying to obtain ‘specific’ answers to some simple questions.  For some reason L would like to answer in depth and try to give me some background.  It was nice to get the background, but what she would tell me would not answer the question.  I would communicate to her it was interesting and I’m glad you told me that, but what is the answer to my question for the form?

I made sure I had everything I needed to complete the forms which I will mail to her.  She can then just sign and date them.  There is one form (DS-156) she will have to complete online in English.  Again I obtained any information I didn’t’ have to be able to fill out this form and send to her to use as a guide.  She will then have her friend L help her fill out the form online, which then needs to be printed and a barcode page is added during the printing process.

Thursday night L, V, and I go bowling.  A friend of V’s was our taxi driver.  The first two bowling alleys we visit are full.  Then we find a place with 10 lanes that has room.  After checking our hats, coats and gloves we walk upstairs to the lanes.  I give the right size (43) for my shoes and inside each shoe is a thin plastic liner to put on over my socks.  When we were talking earlier in the week V mentioned he loved bowling.  I asked him what he usually bowled.  He said around 150 – 160.  This was not a good night for V bowling.  I think he was trying to impress me.  I could see his potential but I beat him all five games we bowled.  We both started off slow the first game but our scores were better after that.  L has not bowled much.  Her scores were from 40 - 69.  She did get two strikes in the game she bowled 69.  She also had many double gutter frames.  Driving back from the bowling alley V and his friend ask if I like fishing.  With my limited Russian I could only come up with – Nyet reeba.  Basically I told them I wasn’t a fish, which they couldn’t stop laughing about.  But, they understood what I was trying to say.       

On Friday afternoon we go to a store to buy our wedding rings.  L and I had talked and we both were in agreement - simple gold wedding bands.  At this store, which she did not know beforehand, was a man working as a jeweler.  It turns out this man and she worked together many years ago during Soviet times when L was a photo journalist.  L did not want me to take a photo of the rings because she felt it would bring bad luck.  This is a very common reaction in Russia; probably more common with older women.  They just are afraid something will come along to destroy their happiness.  She relented when I mentioned it was helpful so I could give her the photo and copy of sales receipt to take to the interview - Just another little item to help ‘prove’ a valid relationship.   

We purchased a web camera on Friday so we could start using Skype soon.  It wasn’t until Saturday that I had the time to attempt to install the camera and Skype.  The camera would not install correctly.  I was able to install Skype and setup a user name for her.  I was even able to do this with Skype in Russian, although we used English characters for her Skype name and password.  Saturday evening after the family left I sat at the computer with V and explained everything I had done and gave him some money to go purchase a different web camera.  With the help of Google translate he understood what needed to be done.  We also went over how I had setup an account for L on Skype and suggested he set one up for himself. 

Earlier that afternoon when the family had been over K gave me a box of chocolate.  S&K gave me two big bars of Chocolate.  That night V gave me 4 bars of chocolate, a Russian navy top and a Red Army belt with a big Brass emblem.  If ever in doubt – give chocolate!

The days flew by and before either of us wanted, I had to leave.  It’s Saturday night close to 11:30.  My plane is leaving at 8:00 in the morning for Moscow.  I’m flying on Izhevia Airlines, the official airline of the Udmurt Republic.  There are flights to Moscow, St Petersburg, Surgut, Samara, Yekatarinburg, and Sochi in the summer only.  I think Moscow is the only place they fly too daily.  The republic of Udmurt has its own co-official language – Udmurtian.  All official documents are in both Russian and Udmurtian.  It is a different language but the only differences in the alphabet are six additional characters with diaeresis (the two dots above a character) – Ӝ is an example

I don’t know why but L has waited until now to ask me if I would like to see some of her work when she was a photo journalist and her portfolio of many portraits of her throughout the years.  Of course I would like to see them.  She pulls out a portfolio with many old yellowed newspaper pages and she points out her photos.  She also shows me many 16 x 24 black and white glossy portraits of her over the years.  It was great to see all these. 

TO BE CONTINUED... 

[bobb]

Sunday morning we awake at 5:00.  At 6:00 the three of us take a taxi to the airport southeast of town, about a 20 minute drive.  I wasn’t returning with as much weight as I arrived with.  The airport in Izhevsk is not far out of town and is deserted.  On Izhevia airlines you are limited to 20kg (44 lbs) for both checked and carry-on luggage.  I was 8 kg over the limit.  You have to pay 1% of the ticket price for each kg over the limit.  I had to go to a separate window to pay about 480 rubles (around $15) for my excess, then back to the check-in counter.  Sometime after 7:00 L and V leave me as I go through security into the waiting room. 

It is sad to be separated again.  I am not sure at this moment when I will see L again. We have decided it will be more important for me to come back over after her interview in Moscow and she has her visa.  Then we will travel together to the U.S. rather than go in May and then have her travel by herself to the U.S.  I may change my mind and go in May and again in probably July or August, but just don’t know right now.  That would be a lot of vacation time used and I will still need some after she arrives.  I just sit in the waiting room and reminisce about my trip.  I was never nervous about meeting family or friends.  I was able to be just the person I am. 

There are only about 25 passengers on the YAK-42 that holds around 90 to Moscow.  It was interesting to board an airplane from the tail.  Not the side of the tail, but the exact tail with a drop down stair.  I almost felt like I was boarding a cargo airline we’ve all seen so many photos of, especially in movies.  The flight leaves a few minutes early and after reaching cruising altitude I can see the sun for the first time in 6 days. 

After gathering my luggage at DME in the domestic airlines area I find my way over to the international departures area.  I have six hours before my flight to Chicago.  I might as well do something useful so I explore all of DME. 

Outside in front of the airport it shows the temperature right at freezing.  Not cold at all.  If you stand in front of the airport the international arrivals are in the section under the Domodedovo sign.  You can’t see in the photo below but the domestic flights and arrivals are to the far right.  Outside the entrance to domestic is where the train/metro arrives and departs from the airport.  They are still completing construction there, at least on the exterior.  There are two areas to the left of international departures.  The first area, before international arrivals, I can’t figure out what it is for.  Maybe they are still deciding themselves.  International arrivals is at the far left of the airport. 

When I go through the line to check in at American there are four stations where you are asked many questions.  After telling the Russian employee I was visiting my fiancé she asked why a Russian woman?  Do you have half a day? I wanted to reply, but didn’t.  There are some long fish aquariums under many of the airline counters opposite the check-in areas.  The departure screens alternate between Russian and English.     

If you are going to meet someone at the airport and they aren’t at the arrivals, for whatever reason, or even meeting someone when departing a good place to meet is the Meeting Point, in the middle of the international departures area against the windows.  Above the international departures check-in area, before you go through customs and security are shops, food, and sitting areas.  After going through customs and security there are more shops and places to eat in the gate areas.  DME is as modern an airport as I’ve traveled through - A far cry from my first visit to the FSU when I arrived in Belarus in Minsk.  Now that is one big ole ugly concrete monstrosity that would fit man Westerner’s stereotype of the old Soviet Russia.

Maybe someone can shed some light on what I will need to prepare for any customs declaration when L leaves Russia.  Looking at a large board that says what has to be declared they mention something about jewelry and precious and semi-precious stones.  L does not have a lot of jewelry, but more than a younger woman.  Will there be any reason to have to declare this when she leaves?

The flight to Chicago leaves on time and is another 767.  The plane is practically empty.  I am able to move to a three seat center section and stretch out and sleep well.  I leave Chicago on time for SFO arriving a little early.  A nephew and his wife meet me at the airport with my car and off I am to home, arriving around 1:00am.  My total travel time from Izhevsk to home – 29 hours.  It took most of the week for me to recover from the time difference. 

I'll post once more covering the five weeks since my return.  That is after I post one or two more for the photos I want to add.  I just can't seem to post more than four or five photos at a time.

[mendeleyev]

Bob, there are so many things to compliment about your trip and your spirit which comes through your writing.

You've chosen a woman who looks like fun, intelligent and loving. Obviously the two of you have made a connection. You've involved her family instead of running off to some exotic spot by yourselves. That makes Russian families feel comfortable and more trusting. You rolled up your sleeves and played games, drank tea, sat him small rooms of her family's homes, etc.

And goodness, you've made great progress in your Russian study! Very impressive. Tamara's materials will be extremely helpful and the only thing I'd add in addition would be to compliment you on the use of Russian vowels as those are probably the key to her family hearing them as they should sound. Any of us could draw inspiration from the consistency and time investment which you've obviously put into the effort to learn the language of her heart.

Yours has been one of the more pleasurable trip reports to read!

BTW, great photos too!

[bobb]

Final DME Photos

[bobb]

You've chosen a woman who looks like fun, intelligent and loving. Obviously the two of you have made a connection...

From the very first letter I could sense the wonderful spirit of L.  Every single thing since that moment has been a confirmation of what I initially glimpsed.  All her photos she sent, her emails, the sound of her voice and laughter during phone calls, her easy smile.  They all display the spirit inside this woman. 

[Wienerin]

Oh, you good, good, good man! I don't know exactly why or how you managed this, but tyou've made me so happy - with you and for you (both) as if you were beloved family  Wish you every happiness in the world!

PS You know what? You both guys look as if you're married for years and years - happily at that

[bobb]

Oh, you good, good, good man! I don't know exactly why or how you managed this, but tyou've made me so happy - with you and for you (both) as if you were beloved family  Wish you every happiness in the world!

Well...all I can say is Большое спасибо. 

PS You know what? You both guys look as if you're married for years and years - happily at that

I have received numerous comments saying the same thing from family and friends.  And they have seen many, many more photos of us together.

It has been a pleasure to share this marvelous time we are both experiencing with everyone.  So many trip reports are of hopes dashed and I am glad I could provide a positive trip report.

[bobb]

It is very difficult to put into words why I so strongly feel this is the Russian woman for me. So much of it is based on my past life experiences and observations.  I feel the closeness of our ages, which I am thrilled about, is a big factor in our constant enjoyment of each other.  Our relationship is so different than most who find their mate in the FSU in this endeavor because of our small age difference and neither of us has any ‘baggage’ from the past we are trailing behind us. 

Last weekend we spoke using Skype for the first time.  It was great to see each other.  V ended up purchasing a Microsoft Live Cam VX 3000.  He couldn’t figure how to focus the lens so our first conversation was like looking at a very blurry image.  With both L and V in the room I tried to suggest focusing the lens.  I searched for info on how to focus after our conversation.  When we talked 12 hours later I had printed a picture of the webcam and pointed out the focus ring.  Ah…finally the focus was good now.  V told me the ring was very hard to turn.  I had looked for a Logitech QuickCam communicate when I was over there but there was none in the one store where I purchased the original webcam.  We continue to say a whole lot more of nothing when we see each other, but it is so nice to see her on weekends now. 

Next weekend I’ll be at a big family gathering at my sister’s.  She lives somewhat close to the snow and we have an annual ski trip every year.  I will take my webcam there, install Skype and L will be able to briefly meet many in my family.  She is very excited about this.  She has heard much about many of them and has seen many photos of all.  Everyone in my family is so supportive and excited for us.   

We have yet to have a disagreement.  I know Russian women can be very strong willed from the many comments I’ve read on this board.  I don’t feel this will ever be an issue with the two of us as we both are of similar temperaments and we both know neither of us has all the answers or is always right.  On the few occasions where the other person was wrong it never escalated.  Each of us accepted we were wrong quickly and there was laughter when the one person agreed they were wrong.  The person who was right did not have the “I told you so” attitude.  I feel we both are people who do not like disagreements and understand compromise is a valuable and necessary asset in a more harmonious life.   

L has been taking regular English lessons two times a week with her good friend L since my departure.  In her first email after my return she had a few things to say I will share.

All my colleagues on work, family and girlfriends loved you. Everyone speak, that we resemble each other very much.  Everyone wish us good luck. Opinion of my son was too important for me. But also he is very happy for me. And certainly it pleases me. He transfers you "Hello".

Every time when you leave from me is a misfortune.  And here it seems to me this second meeting has pulled together us even more. You became not simply part of my life... But something native and inseparable.  Probably it is necessary for both of us still some time to get used to each other.  So usually it happens, when people start to live together, they adapt to each other.  In Russia speak "get used".  I think that we start to understand each other more after some time.  We shall look against each other only and to know, what it is necessary to make for each other.  We shall feel mood each other, to know desires and needs.
 
The love is as if flower or tree which two gardeners should grow carefully.  And only giving it warm, care, tenderness.  This tree will grow and to bear fruit.  Thus I want to tell, that any relations are first of all work. But this work should bring pleasure and happiness for each other.

Only time will tell if what we both feel our future will be like comes true.  We both trust the other person completely.  This trust is based on, I feel, both of us being the person we described to the other from the beginning.  This has been constantly confirmed when we have been together and with all of our interactions.  There was further confirmation, although I needed none, when I saw L with her family and friends, and their obvious love and good feelings towards her.  When two people are together 24/7 for many days at a time, on different occasions, it is difficult to not be who you are.  Even though we only talk on the telephone 20-25 minutes a day and don’t really say that much it is how a person says what they say, the constant smile in their voice, and the music of laughter during conversations that are further confirmations.

L and I have talked and we have decided to have a more traditional Russian style wedding.  I find Western weddings can be very boring.  This will definitely be a one of a kind experience for friends and family who will be there.  I will have to send them to a website so they can see what is expected of them and have them come up with ideas to make the day memorable.  There will be traditional Russian Folk Music. I have told people I will provide Vodka, some Champagne, and water.  Everyone will know how to say, “на здоровья”.     

Yes, we still have much to learn about each other.  We both know there will be challenges ahead.  We also know both of us will be there for each other with total support.  I know L believes in what she writes in her last paragraph above…I do also!

[kgh]

bobb,

I love the trip report!  Thanks for all the little details from what you did it has given me some Ideas on things I didn't think about like getting my family more involved.  I also appreciated hearin how you and L are feeling.  I'm really happy for you two.  Keep up the great work.

Kenny

[bobb]

Just a final update for this topic.

Today in an email I was notified our application was approved.  I now expect my NOA2 to arrive by Monday or Tuesday.  Based on average processing times from time of NOA2 to interview date for Russian applications, from VisaJourney members, it will be mid to late June for her interview.  I would then return to Russia in mid July if this is accurate and we fall in the average range.

I have painfully been reading about Scott and KenC in the Married section as I'm sure many of you have.  For anyone who has read my trip report fully, and for those who remember me from the RWG days it probably won't come as any surprise that the issues with KenC and Scott are not even present in my case. 

Everyone's situations are unique of course.  L and I are somewhat of an anomaly here though having only a little over 2 years age difference, and our ages.  I am fairly confident the wisdom we both have gained in our lives is a positive sign.  In the time we have known each other there has NOT BEEN ONE single instance when I have questioned anything she has ever said, anyway she has ever acted, and there has not been any instance of any disagreements or misunderstandings that weren't resolved in a loving and calm manner.  I can't even think of any 'real' disagreements.  We both seem to have personalities that bring up thoughts right away and not to let anything simmer.  Although there has not been anything that has even happened where a person could have let it simmer. 

I was the one becoming perturbed seeing many, many who filed after us receiving their NOA2 while we patiently waited.  I sent her an email this week explaining we were in the 'normal' processing window but many others after us were getting approved.  Her response?

Certainly it is very a pity, that there was a delay with documents. But I think, that any barrier does not become a barrier for us to be together. It is not terrible, that all turns out not at once. We want to be together very much and it will be so.

This response is a very typical response from her.

I will close with a little more history of my past.  Again understanding that everyone is unique.  In all my 'good' relationships I knew very, very early that relationship had great potential.  I have never in my life been in a 'good' relationship that slowly developed over time.  Why?  I have no clue.  That is just the way it has been for me.  So, having known L for such a short time I see no problems developing because of this.  I honestly feel we are just not going to have many of the issues of younger people, or possible issues later in life with large age gaps.  I'm not a fool and know I can't see the future.  I just don't see anything to derail our mutual understanding of what is necessary to keep a loving relationship together.  This has developed from an understanding of many comments made by both of us, and the reinforcement of what it is like when we have been together.

I can't wait to see her reaction when I give her the news tonight when we talk on Skype!!!

[Daveman]

bobb,
fabulous report, wonderful photos.  You really look great together.  I really enjoyed reading this (and the other) tale of blossoming love and romance. 

Of course, you must suffer because you're not a fish! Heh.. 

You already know and have accepted the risks of moving quickly, a small amount of actual face time, and lack of a common fluent language. You've paid close attention to detail so I hope the attitude and patience as well as the feelings you share together will take you beyond these possible "bumps" (mainly communication long term) and into a real dream come true of happiness together.  Rock on...

Just keep an eye on the language thing.  Right now it's nothing because of the stage of the relationship... but can easily become a little frustrating (especially for her) after she's here in isolation because of how socially active she is.  Remember, she won't have that large family/friend/coworker network here...  Not trying to rain on your parade in the slightest, just basically pointing a finger at the obvious -- but I think this is a real issue you could possibly face some time in the future and should be thinking about it now -- how to alleviate her loss in that area..

I wish you the best of luck and continued success and happiness...
Warm regards to both you and L,
Dave

[ECOCKS]

Great report Bob!

Best of Luck in this new phase of your life.

[bobb]

...and lack of a common fluent language.

I am well aware of this and have been thinking about this very issue. I know I will never become fluent in Russian but I am learning much more than many and with her help after she arrives my learning will progress faster.

Just keep an eye on the language thing.  Right now it's nothing because of the stage of the relationship... but can easily become a little frustrating (especially for her) after she's here in isolation because of how socially active she is.  Remember, she won't have that large family/friend/coworker network here...  Not trying to rain on your parade in the slightest, just basically pointing a finger at the obvious -- but I think this is a real issue you could possibly face some time in the future and should be thinking about it now -- how to alleviate her loss in that area..

I've always felt lack of communication is a 'prime' basic reason why good relationships go south.  To help with her lack of communication with her family she will have telephone access with calling cards and Skype.  When I return this summer I will be buying web camera's and maybe even basic computers for her two brothers and their wives.  Her son now knows how to setup Skype and show them how to use.  She at least will be able to see them and talk as much as she wants to them with Skype.  I know it is not the same, but better than just a telephone conversation and free.  How to alleviate this loss has been on my mind from the very beginning.  Maybe because of what I've retained from the old RWG board and the new RWD board over the past few months.

I do know we are both basically patient people, which should help a great deal with our communication.  We are also just a couple of old codgers, although still active, and I feel we will be completely happy teaching each other and not feeling like we could be doing 'better' things.  There are also other thoughts I've had which I don't need to share here.

I wish you the best of luck and continued success and happiness...
Warm regards to both you and L,
Dave

Большое спасибо (Big Thanks or Thank you greatly however you wish to read it)