How old is too young?

[Kuna]

In another thread a very reasonable young man is contemplating his path and making decisions on who he'd like to meet.. how and when.

Reading of his decisions really makes me wonder if it's possible for men to know they are just too young for this pursuit - or if indeed men can be too young for this pursuit.

It's not meant to be a reflection on the individual but if he is 25 yrs old and seeking 20 - 25 yr old girls is he not most probably sticking his head in the jaws of a lion by pursuing 20 or 22 yr old girls.

YES, a very rare 22 yr old MIGHT be mature enough to know what she wants for the rest of her life but it is unlikely.

At 25 wouldn't he be better off meeting women of his own age and giving away any age gap at all.  If he wants an age gap wouldn't he be better off waiting till his 5 year age gap reveals more mature 25 yr old girls (when he is 30 of course).

I don't know...  seeing SO MANY complete failures when men chse girls under 25 suggests to me they should just wake up to the fact that chasing immature girls is no batter than a craps shoot.

Yes yes, I know they allmake excuses about greater maturity than girls at home, and/or their artistic lifestyles which are more conducive to younger crowds... but do you think men should wake up and give up on sub-25 yr old girl?

Let the flaming begin!

 

[docetae]

Honestly, I do not understand motivation at 25 to look for a fsu woman except some fantasies.
 At 25, people have projects, dreams, but no experience. It seems for me the perfect age to discover countries, different culture, etc. I have made this myself between 19 and 25.
The other question is money... Have you around 25k to complete the whole quest ?

Looking for a fsu woman at 25 make me think this person is now too old too young...

[Misha]

If a 25-year-old is really interested in Russia and Russian women, he should go spend a year learning Russian in Russia IMHO. He is young, he still is building a career, it would be a great life experience.

[SMS60]

Yes,Yes,and Yes

They also could just stay in their own backyard and find the same type of women they are traveling long distances to meet.

I know when I was that age I was to busy doing the so called......" building my empire"  or  "conquering the world"  routine. Women were the last thing on my mind. Especially traveling abroad for the so purpose of meeting a women. Encounters came as chance meetings on my turf.

So, saying that, I question how they are thinking??? or why they are thinking in those terms.

My opinion is......It is to young to be looking for a women in this way.

But, how things change as you age!!

[topofthekey]

Yes yes, I know they allmake excuses about greater maturity than girls at home, and/or their artistic lifestyles which are more conducive to younger crowds... but do you think men should wake up and give up on sub-25 yr old girl?

No excuses here. All I can say is duly noted. The only difference between me and pretty much everyone else is that almost everyone else in my neck of the woods is getting married or settling down with a woman close by (or else they just refuse to grow up and drink almost every night  ).

I've been lucky in that I've been afforded the opportunity to travel growing up. I also happen to be doing well despite the economic crisis with my career. What that basically means is I don't feel comfortable giving that up to live abroad for a year. Quiting employment doesn't sound very smart right now.

I'm just being honest in that I'm not ruling out younger ladies down to college age. The reason for that is because they aren't really much younger than me. All I can do is meet women and go about this with the big head. I have the meet women part figured out. I just didn't work at narrowing them down very well.

Believe me Kuna I'm not ignoring your advice. I'm definiately not rushing into anything until I'm sure either. But you only live once. My parents were married at like 24 and they seem to be doing ok, so despite all the divorce I see it can work (and I've been lucky enough to see their example).

[Vinnvinny]

If a guy is under say 28 then I would question his real motives for looking abroad and what he is actually looking for. Many of the reasons why us more mature fella’s are looking are well documented but don’t stand up to scrutiny when applied to the younger men. I have met a few young WM on my travels and the overriding impression I was left with was they (for a number of reason) struggled to find girlfriend back home and were under the apprehension they could do better in the FSU. Of course they were finding out that such a view couldn’t be further from the truth. There will of course be exceptions to this … like topofthekey. 

With regards to older guys looking at sub 25 year olds then what’s wrong with that? It only becomes futile if he believes he will find true untroubled love and live happily thereafter. If he knows what the realities are and is prepared to enter a relationship on that basis and he can afford it then why shouldn’t he live his life as he sees fit? A few years with a fit young nymphomaniac is probably what some older guys seek and good luck to them. Probably won’t cost anymore than a more ‘conventional’ marriage especially if children aren’t involved.

It’s a broad church here with no true ‘rights or wrongs’ provided just a little bit of common sense is used and a few reality checks are in place.

All flamings to Kuna please.

[topofthekey]

I just pulled a few stats from wikipedia as well. The average age for a female from Ukraine to get married is 22.2 years of age. For men in the United States it is 27.1.

I suspect if I am starting the process of looking for something serious now I won't be married until who knows when. It is probably safe to assume 27 would be the age for me and with the girls I'm looking at now if she isn't already 24 or 25 she would likely be that old when she arrives on a K1.

So its not like I'm insane here or anything. Just want to look overseas instead of focusing solely on domestics. Globalization at its finest really.  

[topofthekey]

I have met a few young WM on my travels and the overriding impression I was let with was they (for a number of reason) struggled to find girlfriend back home and were under the apprehension they could do better in the FSU. Of course they were finding out that such a view couldn’t be further from the truth. There will of course be exceptions to this … like topofthekey. 

There are a lot of factors for young guys being interested in foreign women. If I was looking to improve my chances I'm not sure Tallinn would be the best place for that (Maybe eastern Urkaine, Cebu City, Vietnam?). Didn't use any agencies either (don't think any exist). There is no way I'd be traveling at all if I had the bills most recent college grads have. Probably why most don't end up thinking of this until round two (divorced guys) when they can afford to make the trips.

All I am doing is widow shopping beyond our borders. If I think I've found someone special I'll make the additional trips back and go from there.

All I can say is young guys are going to date young women. Why not encourage them to at least explore beyond their backyard? Why not post a little at RWD and take some trips?

[GoodOlBoy]

Back in the early 70's, when I was in the Marine's, several of my buddies married Asian girls and brought them back to the GoodOl'USA.

Sad thing is, I can't remember any of them that stayed married to these girls.

Just about everyone I bumped into later, told me that it just didn't work out.

From what I remember back then, it wasn't about the GC. I think most of these girls returned home. They missed their homes and families and were just to young to get married.

GOB

[Misha]

I have met a few young WM on my travels and the overriding impression I was left with was they (for a number of reason) struggled to find girlfriend back home and were under the apprehension they could do better in the FSU.

Couldn't the same thing be said of the older men as well? Many/most struggled in their relationships back home (i.e. were divorced) and were under the impression they could do better in the FSU  :evil:

[docetae]

yes, and ask them, most of them will tell you that they were too young when they decided to get married and have child. And you think that a 22 years old woman will wait for you only during one or two years ?

You can make stats tell what you want. You will not meet a stat, but a woman. Just travel and have fun. Discover world, women and yourself.

[Misha]

I also happen to be doing well despite the economic crisis with my career. What that basically means is I don't feel comfortable giving that up to live abroad for a year.

Then, take Russian classes in the evening at a local college. Wait a couple of years, then take a "sabbatical" from work to recharge yourself and then spend a a year overseas. JMO, better to do it when younger, then to do it as part of a midlife crisis when you are in your forties   

[GoodOlBoy]

better to do it when younger, then to do it as part of a midlife crisis when you are in your forties   

I beg your pardon.

My midlife crisis came at 50! 


GOB

[topofthekey]

And you think that a 22 years old woman will wait for you only during one or two years ?

You mean during the time between visits and while waiting for the K1?

[Misha]

I beg your pardon.

My midlife crisis came at 50! 

GOB

LOL! I figure that the odds are good that I will have a heart attack by then, so I scheduled mine early 

[docetae]

You mean during the time between visits and while waiting for the K1?

Yes... simple questions:
If you meet someone, how much time do you plan between visits ?
What is your budget per travel and total budget ?
How free time do you have per year for travels ?

[Vinnvinny]

Couldn't the same thing be said of the older men as well? Many/most struggled in their relationships back home (i.e. were divorced) and were under the impression they could do better in the FSU  :evil:

Well maybe but, (in the UK) the pool of single attractive young girls available to men in thier 20's is significantly higher to the pool of single attractive girls available to older men hence the whole WM/FSUW industry.

What do you mean by being 'divorced' means that you 'struggle with relationships'? Please explain, that's new to me .....

[groovlstk]

I just pulled a few stats from wikipedia as well. The average age for a female from Ukraine to get married is 22.2 years of age. For men in the United States it is 27.1.

There was an article in the NY Times a few years back about how Russian expats living in the US tend to marry at 21 or 22, same as they would have back home, mostly because they were expected to do so.

Some interesting quotes:

In contrast to contemporary American culture, where marriage at too young an age is viewed as irresponsible, "marriage in this community is generally considered a good thing, especially if it is to someone seen as a quote-unquote good guy," said Aviva Zeltzer-Zubida, an assistant professor of sociology at Brooklyn College who has studied Russian immigrants in New York.

By age 40, Russian-speaking women in the United States have higher rates of divorce than all other major groups of female immigrants, according to the 2000 census, but that may just reflect their higher rate of marriage.

The decision to marry early may also be rooted in a cultural aversion to protracted dating. Ms. Farber-McEntee said, "You start dating a Russian and things progress pretty quickly." Russian men, her sister Elizabeth Kravtsova said, "just don't have the commitment issues American men do."

[Misha]

What do you mean by being 'divorced' means that you 'struggle with relationships'? Please explain, that's new to me .....

Quite simple. From what I read on these forums, the men who seek to marry RW tend to be in their 40s, divorced, and decry the feminism of their women, and consequently seek a Russian bride. There are exceptions, of course, but it is seems to be a common theme IMHO.

[topofthekey]

Yes... simple questions:
If you meet someone, how much time do you plan between visits ?
What is your budget per travel and total budget ?
How free time do you have per year for travels ?

Ok well if I think I've found someone special I'd be able to swing probably 4 trips in a year (would be easy to do if it was a 6 or 7 night short trip).

My budget per trip depends on the city really. Travel looks like it is coming down now for the summer (at least compared to previous quotes). Tickets seem to run between 800 and 1400. Ideally a place to stay for 60 or 70 bucks a night would be great, but I'm cool if it runs 100 or so (if that's my only option). I suppose I could pay more but I like to keep things reasonable. I'll have enough spending money to do things while there and eat out all the time.

If the ticket runs 1000 bucks and the lodging runs 500 bucks then at the very least I've got to be looking at $8,000 for 4 trips a year. Possibly more. That's my low ball figure. Things add up. Instead of wasting my money on a new car or something I'd rather do this. Not taking on any debt or hurting my retirement to swing it.

[Daveman]

I know when I was 25, I really thought I had life by the horns and of course I knew everything.  I look back now and see the idiot within.  I had no clue what I really wanted either in life or in relationships. Hell, I can say close to the same about the 30-35 year old Daveman.  I was a late bloomer I guess.

My personal opinion is that a lady should be roughly 27-28 and a man should be 30-33 before even considering marriage.  That seems to be when people begin to "settle in" (mentally and emotionally) so to speak, and grow more in one direction rather than bouncing all over the place.

I have no doubt that a 25 year old can easily find and catch a gorgeous 22 year old in the FSU... however I think there will be a wild ride ahead.

[Vinnvinny]

Quite simple. From what I read on these forums, the men who seek to marry RW tend to be in their 40s, divorced, and decry the feminism of their women, and consequently seek a Russian bride. There are exceptions, of course, but it is seems to be a common theme IMHO.

There may well be a lot of 'men who seek to marry RW tend to be in their 40s, divorced, and decry the feminism of their women, and consequently seek a Russian bride'. I can't see though why that would mean they 'struggle' with relationships?

[docetae]

Ok well if I think I've found someone special I'd be able to swing probably 4 trips in a year (would be easy to do if it was a 6 or 7 night short trip).

My budget per trip depends on the city really. Travel looks like it is coming down now for the summer (at least compared to previous quotes). Tickets seem to run between 800 and 1400. Ideally a place to stay for 60 or 70 bucks a night would be great, but I'm cool if it runs 100 or so (if that's my only option). I suppose I could pay more but I like to keep things reasonable. I'll have enough spending money to do things while there and eat out all the time.

If the ticket runs 1000 bucks and the lodging runs 500 bucks then at the very least I've got to be looking at $8,000 for 4 trips a year. Possibly more. That's my low ball figure. Things add up. Instead of wasting my money on a new car or something I'd rather do this. Not taking on any debt or hurting my retirement to swing it.

This is sure that if you think about your retirement at 25, you have totally different motivations and goal that most of the men can have at the same age....

I have totally opposite perspective on life so I can not be of any help about your goal...

[Shadow]

Here I agree with Misha, I see nothing wrong with younger men going to the FSU to find a partner, except that they could pose unfair competition to the older guys.  :evil:

A girl of 20-24 has some learning to do and so has a guy of 25-30. In the worst case they can find out after 5 years its not working, and be of the right age and mind to join in here again.
The good thing about young age is that there is no hurry to get married and make a family until things are clear. Use that to make the exploration time a bit longer and meet in different places if possible.

[Shadow]

There may well be a lot of 'men who seek to marry RW tend to be in their 40s, divorced, and decry the feminism of their women, and consequently seek a Russian bride'. I can't see though why that would mean they 'struggle' with relationships?

How many happily married men (not to FSUW) do you see that decry feminism and local women ?