Some ideas on how to get started

[2tallbill]

If you are a newbie and would like an idea or two how to get started you might
look at this. If your an old hand at this maybe you can make a recommendation
or two and help out the new guy. If you are an RW it would be great to hear your
recommendations on the subject.

First you should congratulate yourself because you came to the right place.
Read the FAQs, memorize the tablets of stone.

Warning this is written by an unmarried man so a healthy amount of skepticism
is warranted.

I have done a number of things while searching for the Future Mrs 2tallbill wrong
and have learned a thing or two from them.

So if you are a rookie and would like a generic game plan / blueprint that you can modify to suit your individual goals here it is.

1. Research the subject, you are on this site so you did something right. Read, learn from others and continue to learn as you go. Beware of researching to excess eventually you need to get off your butt and get started. You can still learn as you go but beware of "failure to launch" because someone else will steal your "would be girl friend"

2. Get some nice digital photos of yourself done. If you call around you can find a photographer that will do this. Get some recent photos of yourself in natural settings too.

3. Think about what you want in a woman. Be honest with yourself. Do you really want an arm trophy to make your exwife's head explode? or would you rather find an attractive and wonderful woman who will make you happy for the rest of your life? I highly recommend making a list of what you are looking for. Make a list, include  the things you DON'T want, they may be as important to avoid as is finding
one with the qualities you do want. This is your list not 2tallbills, underline the things
that are "can't do without" along with the things that "would be nice if..."

4. Put together a nice profile, spend some time at it. If you want to gather a little extra attention have it translated to Russian. Anastassia Ashe is a member here and will do it for a fee. She can also give you a few pointers that only an RW would think of. If you are extra brave you could post it (but personally I wouldn't) here or link to it and members here will give you more advice than you want.
 
5. Buy Rossetta stone program for your PC and Pimsleur language for your CD player (look on ebay for a deal)

6. Do Pimsleur in your car AND while at the gym on the stair master* Study Russian
for an hour a day, this will give you an advantage over 95% of the guys who don't

7. Get a nice web cam and a blue tooth head set for skype, yahoo, etc. Get up early in the morning (or in the evening) and go to Lucky lovers (LL), www.luckylovers.net and chat with some nice ladies there.

8. Do this for two months every day, then plan a trip to see the woman who makes you think about her when you should be working.

9. Get on a plane and write up a trip report.

10. Come back here and tell Newbies how to do it.

Udachi! Good luck!


*Notice that point 5 includes getting on the step master daily. Work out and practice your Russian at the same time and do it every day.

[Shadow]

Some tips (note: I am a married man so do not listen to me  )

1. Look in the mirror every day right after waking up, and look at your worst pictures. That is what your future girlfriend will see.
2. Check your wallet. See if it will maintain a wife way ouy of your league. If not, block the 20-year old model telling she wants a house for her parents.
3. Learn to be silent and not talk. No matter what you will learn in Russian, the moment you talk all will know where you are from.
4. Buy some decent clothes. Looking like a bum will attract attention of militia.
5. Remember how life was 20 or 30 years back. Expect that during your trip.

[JR]

Some Tips: I am a divorced man (from a Russian) so don't listen to me

[2tallbill]

Some Tips: I am a divorced man (from a Russian) so don't listen to me

Come on I will bet you could make a list of ten things that would be a good idea
for a newbie to do.

[2tallbill]

Here are some random thoughts (do I have any other?).

1. learn some Russian. It's harder than it looks and it looks hard.
 
2. learn from your mistakes, you will make them.

This next one is important !!!
3. learn from the mistakes of others there is no law out there
that says you got to screw up just like someone else did! as a matter
of fact there is this forum here that you can learn from. If you are smart
you can screw up in new and different ways that the poor bast@rds who
went before you.

Or you can do the exact same thing as somebody else did and failed and
fail at it yourself. I am fairly hard headed and figured that I was surely taller,
more this or that, clever, blah, blah, blah, blah and therefore the rules
didn't apply to me. I was wrong, they did apply to me. It's up to you to decide
if you want to learn from others mistakes or go ahead and make them yourselves.

4. Use the head above your shoulder to think with. A gorgeous woman should not
cause you to ignore red flags.

5. Decide what you want. I am serious about this, make a list I did.
No you can't have my list make your own.


Udachi !!! Good luck!!!



PS ok, I lied here is part of my list (the other part is secret).

I am not looking for a woman that I can live with, I am looking for a woman that I can't live without. What am I looking for? I want it all. I want love, passion, honesty, a real companion, a lover, a wife.

I want a woman who wants to be a woman and who wants her man to be a man. (I told you I want it all :-) I am a Catholic and I am looking for a Christian woman, I don't fall on my knees and pray every five minutes but I am a believer and NOT looking for an atheist or a Muslim to raise our future children.

[Kuna]

If you are a newbie and would like an idea or two how to get started you might
look at this. If your an old hand at this maybe you can make a recommendation
or two and help out the new guy. If you are an RW it would be great to hear your
recommendations on the subject.

First you should congratulate yourself because you came to the right place.
Read the FAQs, memorize the tablets of stone.

Warning this is written by an unmarried man so a healthy amount of skepticism
is warranted.

I have done a number of things while searching for the Future Mrs 2tallbill wrong
and have learned a thing or two from them.

So if you are a rookie and would like a generic game plan / blueprint that you can modify to suit your individual goals here it is.

1. Research the subject, you are on this site so you did something right. Read, learn from others and continue to learn as you go. Beware of researching to excess eventually you need to get off your butt and get started. You can still learn as you go but beware of "failure to launch" because someone else will steal your "would be girl friend"

2. Get some nice digital photos of yourself done. If you call around you can find a photographer that will do this. Get some recent photos of yourself in natural settings too.

3. Think about what you want in a woman. Be honest with yourself. Do you really want an arm trophy to make your exwife's head explode? or would you rather find an attractive and wonderful woman who will make you happy for the rest of your life? I highly recommend making a list of what you are looking for. Make a list, include  the things you DON'T want, they may be as important to avoid as is finding
one with the qualities you do want. This is your list not 2tallbills, underline the things
that are "can't do without" along with the things that "would be nice if..."

4. Put together a nice profile, spend some time at it. If you want to gather a little extra attention have it translated to Russian. Anastassia Ashe is a member here and will do it for a fee. She can also give you a few pointers that only an RW would think of. If you are extra brave you could post it (but personally I wouldn't) here or link to it and members here will give you more advice than you want.
 
5. Buy Rossetta stone program for your PC and Pimsleur language for your CD player (look on ebay for a deal)

6. Do Pimsleur in your car AND while at the gym on the stair master* Study Russian
for an hour a day, this will give you an advantage over 95% of the guys who don't

7. Get a nice web cam and a blue tooth head set for skype, yahoo, etc. Get up early in the morning (or in the evening) and go to Lucky lovers (LL), www.luckylovers.net and chat with some nice ladies there.

8. Do this for two months every day, then plan a trip to see the woman who makes you think about her when you should be working.

9. Get on a plane and write up a trip report.

10. Come back here and tell Newbies how to do it.

Udachi! Good luck!


*Notice that point 5 includes getting on the step master daily. Work out and practice your Russian at the same time and do it every day.

OK, I'll play...

I'm a married man but don't listen to me...  I met my wife on my first trip - which should of been a WOVO trip but I was frightened into meeting others because "the first one never works out.

... but anyway...

1. Do not use professional pictures of yourself.  The goal isn't to lure a woman into a meeting with slick photos and a smooth profile.  you NEED reality

2. Do not write a slick profile.  If you're attracting lots of incoming interest you'll be high on the list for scammers.  My profile said something like, "There is no photo or info in my profile because I prefer to get to know you over time".  Clearly anyone writing to me saying, "I like your profile so much I feel like I love you" was a scammer.  My wife's response to my initial email simply said, "May I see your photo please".  I wrote back and attached a photo and her next message simply said, "Why do you have a Ukrainian name"?  It was hard to get to know my wife via email initially, but her correspondence stood ut from the scammers.

3. Reject all incoming messages from women you haven't written to first.  YES,  someone's going to point out genuine women write first at times too - butI established this rule and stuck to it to avoid as many scammers as possible.

4. Wake up to yourself and don't become an easy target.  Know who you are and what you want - and when you stretch the age range just admit that your fantasy is about to get you into a world of trouble.

5. When writing messages use the subject something like "I'm Bob from XXXX and I am serious about visiting XXXX".  Sound stupid?  Mine simply said, "Message from UkrainianSurname from Australia".  My wife said she'd given up responding to the dozens of messages she'd get a week and only responded to mine because it stood out (name and location was a help).  I would suggest using the word serious and mention you ARE visiting because that is likely to make you stand out.

6.  Be prepared for a mountain of work if you are going to write before visiting.  I wrote to 40 woman (all new listings on Elena's and freepersonals.com).  I got down to 3 or 4 before visiting but it was VERY hard work...  Write every message without cutting and pasting from others.  Make it personal BUT NOT EMOTIONAL.  Save the emotions till after you meet.

7. Get your butt on a plane.  You're never going to meet your future wife without visiting.  Visiting quickly will also scare off the scammers - they do not want you to visit!

8. If you are serious - be serious.  If you can't be serious you're wasting your time.  Stay at home and marry a local!

9. Know exactly what you want and why.  Write it down and read it EVERY DAY.  Do not be swayed by the fantasy or the tingly feeling in your pants... that'll just get you in trouble.

10.  STOP MAKING STUPID DAMN EXCUSES FOR SH!TTY BEHAVIOUR AND STOP JUSTIFYING EVERY DUMBA$$ DECISION YOU MAKE BECAUSE YOU JUST LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.  If you're serious you can be honest with yourself.  When you find yourself stretching the truth and creating a new reality admit that you're making things up to maintain the tingly feeling you get every time a new SMS or email arrives.  If you're making excuses for her OR YOURSELF get real and get serious.

11. Don't be frightened by the horror stories.  Read them, learn from them, be cautious of repeating them...  but remember, we're all individuals and our own actions and decisions will play a HUGE part in our probability of success. 

12. Oh, also remember that just as we're all individuals - so are the ladies. Stop looking for that cookie cutter churning out cookie cutter wives.  They don't exist. 

12a.  Don't listen to me.  I married after meeting my wife on my first trip and proposing on my second trip.  She arrived in our home a month after her visa application was submitted and we married a month after that.  Two months later she fell pregnant and now, 18 months later I am the happiest man alive, our son is 6 months old.  My life has changed SO much but for me my life has turned full circle because I come from Ukrainian heritage.  If you want this, trust me, this is hard work, but if you get it right it will be the single most incredible thing you can do in life.

Good luck!

[2tallbill]

Great tips Kuna !!

How many ladies did your write initially?

What was your response rate?

If they aren't too personal what characteristics did you look for?
and how did you find them?

Thanks

Bill

[2tallbill]

So as everyone can plainly see there are only two acceptable
methods of finding a woman in the FSU the Method that I outlined and
Kuna's method.

 

[TwoBitBandit]

Lots of good advice here, I especially liked:

1. Research the subject, you are on this site so you did something right.

2. Get some nice digital photos of yourself done. If you call around you can find a photographer that will do this. Get some recent photos of yourself in natural settings too.

I did this, I had about 500 photographs done in an outdoor setting.  I ended up with about 25 I really liked.  It turns out my friends suck at photography, I eventually hired an aspiring photographer off Craigslist and that worked out well.

3. Think about what you want in a woman...

This is true.  If you have some game, you'll soon have more girls to chase than you have time.  One of my mistakes has been to chase too many girls or to chase semi-interested smokinhotkovas instead of very sincere girls.

4. Put together a nice profile, spend some time at it. If you want to gather a little extra attention have it translated to Russian. Anastassia Ash is a member here and will do it for a fee.

I agree with both. Anastassia also helped me write my profile, it was worth every penny.  She was great.
 

5. Buy Rossetta stone program for your PC and Pimsleur language for your CD player (look on ebay for a deal)
6. Do Pimsleur in your car AND while at the gym on the stair master* Study Russian
for an hour a day, this will give you an advantage over 95% of the guys who don't
1. learn some Russian. It's harder than it looks and it looks hard.

I speak quite a bit of Russian and it has helped tremendously.  It's opened a lot of doors for me in the FSU.  I started out with Pimsleur first and then Rosetta Stone, they're both great.

9. Get on a plane and write up a trip report. 10. Come back here and tell Newbies how to do it.

Just think carefully about what you say, what pictures you post, and how much criticism you can endure.  There's several (very good) trip reports that turned out badly due to external circumstances.  av8tor's trip report to Barnaul is a recent example.  Bill, your own trip report got you into trouble on antidate.  Although I agree trip reports help out others a lot, they're one of the best things about these boards.

2. learn from your mistakes, you will make them.
3. learn from the mistakes of others
10.  STOP MAKING STUPID DAMN EXCUSES FOR SH!TTY BEHAVIOUR AND STOP JUSTIFYING EVERY DUMBA$$ DECISION YOU MAKE BECAUSE YOU JUST LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.

I've made so many mistakes chasing girls that I could write be world's foremost authority on the subject.  The point is to learn from your errors and not make the same mistake twice.

7. Get your butt on a plane. 

Agreed.  This journey is way harder than it looks.  I think that every guy thinking about doing this should stop writing so many letters and just go to the FSU and meet a dozen girls in an agency.  It will give you a wholly different perspective on the process.

2. Do not write a slick profile.

I think this one is a matter of strategy.  I'm chasing girls on the Russian-language sites, there's a lot fewer scammers there.  If you write a girl, the first thing she is going to do is read your profile.  I can understand why you wouldn't want a slick profile on the MOB-oriented sites, though, they may attract a lot of scammers.  But, if you can't sort out scammers from sincere girls, you're in big trouble no matter what.

[2tallbill]

So as everyone can plainly see there are only two acceptable
methods of finding a woman in the FSU the Method that I outlined and
Kuna's method.

 

Note that was a joke to get others to provide some tips for a newbie

[js1965]

Thanks for the tip

I have been looking at many of the sites but they are way to expensive, I think, I took a look at the http://www.luckylovers.net and its not too bad. They give away a 10 day trial with a promo code or either you can jump right in for 19.95 for a month. They also have a free address section, who know might even find someone there.