Realities of FSUW

[WmGO]

I am surprised that the below post has received so little attention. In order to avoid
clogging up Scott's "Another Statistic" thread I am posting the link here. I wanted to
post the whole quote here but forgot how to do that.

Would someone please post the whole quote from Zhenna here? Thanks in advance to
whoever does that.


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=post;quote=175869;topic=9209.210;num_replies=251;sesc=cd3c542e3c175ccd205184431f5ddb06

What WM need to understand is that everything the agencies etc. say about FSUW is
pure propaganda. If you want to know how most FSUW think, read Zhenna's statement.
That is the FSUW reality. Now, the one thing I would disagree with her is that she implies
that this is the mentality of *all*  RW/UW. That is incorrect. The mentality she describes only
applies to most, perhaps 90% of RW/UW. THe WM's challenge is to find the FSUW who falls
way, way outside the cultural norm for FSU.

[Misha]

Would someone please post the whole quote from Zhenna here? Thanks in advance to
whoever does that.

Unfortunately, I get an error message when I click on the link.

[Vaughn]

I got the error, too, but dug it out of the thread...

Didnt read the whole topic,just the first page.
I am sorry,Scott,I really do.
Let me explain the RWs point of view. At first,very little number of women will put up with the luck of money. Rws point is-he should go and work even 4 jobs,if needed,but support the family decently. And why would she need the husband at all,if she needs to work hard? Why did she came to america?For certain,not to be miserable. Of course,she probably lived much worse in Ukraine,but...when she comes here,she starts to compare. With the same girls as she is. When she sees that someone gets more,she feels insulted and fooled-of course,she thinks she deserves not less. She is so young and beautiful. And her new gfs start to tell her: who are you spending your life for? If he even cant buy yiu the new car?! Look at yourself,you can do much better! And the woman is contaminated with the jelaousy from now and on. To more lucky gfs. And she wants the same. And she divorces her hubsand as a result.
What to do? Probably,dont marry the women from FSU :)Or marry the older ones,same age as you are,cos they are wiser. I am serious. I dotn criticise anybody,especially Scottin. But this is just a sad truth,do you like it or not....Women like the money. This is not the reason to divorce a husband in the difficult times,but many will do. So you better be rich or look very carefully for a life partner.
Oops,my husband just told me that my post is mean

[Misha]

Yes, it is certainly a mindset of some RW (though I don't think it is the majority of ordinary RW you will meet in everyday life), but it is certainly the type of women that men should avoid at all costs. The problem, are they capable or willing to recognize such a woman? They will explain it away as being "cultural" 

[Vaughn]

I don't believe Zhena was labeling the bunch as Material Girls - and for WM to read it as such would be
pure folly. I have to admit, my wife - and many of her new RW/UW friends here, whether married to
WM or not - tend to compare, and possess a desire to upgrade. It's as if I offered a better life with a
man who will care for her, and as time passed she raised our mutual standard.

The character factor divides those FSU ladies who take one hard look at their new surroundings and
bolt at the first opportunity - from those who dig in their heels proclaiming, "We can do better" and
then set about to help make those positive changes. She will keenly observe that such efforts are
mutual and not one-sided, and to sit back contentedly watching her go it alone will spell trouble for
many. Accept the challenge and its rewards. Getting her here is truly the easy step. Pleasing her
and impressing her as a committed spouse through action is so much more than clicking on Send
and filling out forms.

For men of modest means it serves notice - that there's an excellent chance you've underestimated
her want of a better life.

[kievstar]

Vaughn, do you think it has to do more with men dating out of their league?

[Vaughn]

Vaughn, do you think it has to do more with men dating out of their league?

Not at all. If that were true, then as Zhena asserts a "very small number" would be
"in my league". I see the "league" statement, as made by many including myself, to
refer more to a WM offering a very modest lifestyle to a St Petersburg doctor, who
is likely to have a better gig in Russia. Or as others might assert, an average WM
seeking a knockout model - with her runway appearance his main agenda.

To me, "out of league" implies reciprocity is damn near impossible. If a high level of
complacency is his comfort zone, many RW/UW will look down on his station.

[Misha]

For men of modest means it serves notice - that there's an excellent chance you've underestimated
her want of a better life.

I really hope this won't become another one of these you must earn [fill in the blank] dollars to marry a RW threads 

[ScottinCrimea]

I think it's more about status than any particular dollar figure.  She would be happier with someone who owns his own small bicycle shop or the manager of a local Walmart than with a programmer who works for someone else, even if he earns twice the money.  Even if you own a million dollar house, in Beverly Hills it would be considered inadequate while in Winnemucca Nevada it would be very acceptable to her.

Beyond the basic necessities and a little more, the material things are merely the display of status.

[Misha]

I think it's more about status than any particular dollar figure. 

True, many Russian (perhaps a majority) are obsessed with status. The challenge is finding a woman who does not have the need to constantly show her girlfriends or relatives that she is of higher status or her husband is of higher status than them and their boyfriends/husbands.

[Vaughn]

True, many Russian (perhaps a majority) are obsessed with status. The challenge is finding a woman who does not have the need to constantly show her girlfriends or relatives that she is of higher status or her husband is of higher status than them and their boyfriends/husbands.

I agree with that, Misha. I remember buying an item on eBay just before my first visit. The seller was a RW in
Henderson, NV, originally from Moscow. The subject of my visit came up - and when she found out where my
itinerary was taking me, she exclaimed "Oh, don't go there - everyone 50 miles and further from Moscow are
deperately poor." When another RW in NYC handled my visa application asked my occupation, I responded
"Salesman". Her reply: "Oh, we shouldn't list it like that - people will think you work behind a counter" as if
that would cast shame.

My own wife doesn't gloat, nor rub folks' noses in her material gain. It's more a matter of personal self-achievement,
as when she arrived our finances were in a tight situation. I, too, scoff at those who proclaim a high level of
income is a minimum benchmark for success; however, without stating numbers, I feel that the requirements to
exceed Poverty Guidelines are grossly understated - still, who are we to say what any couple cannot overcome?

[Misha]

still, who are we to say what any couple cannot overcome?

Here is a personal example. We met this one couple. He was a student, went to Russia to teach English. Married of course a local woman and they came back to Canada. He worked for a while in a store, she worked stuffing ads in newspapers. Seemingly, they were surviving as a couple. They then moved to a larger city.

My wife saw this friend a few months later, and she was already putting on airs as to how she lives in a big city  My wife was of course annoyed at her condescension and even a bit surprised as to how little it can take for somebody to let something so insignificant go their heads...

[Vaughn]

Your wife and mine would get along well. Elvira despises shallowness and quickly discounts those
who dwell in it. We have a RW professor of Higher Mathematics who stops by very infrequently.
The lady is obsessed with status - and each time manages to get in a jab or two. When Elvira's
credit history was established enough to qualify for a new car loan, this woman criticized her for
having to finance it in the first place. Fortunately, my wife's not one to suscribe to all RW decree,
as a few of them tend to badmouth WMs like me, likely by virtue of my national origin.

When they complain about North Carolina or the USA, she asks them "What's keeping you from
going back?" and suddenly the room grows very quiet...

[Misha]

Your wife and mine would get along well.

LOL! I think so too 

[Doll]

I think it's more about status than any particular dollar figure.  She would be happier with someone who owns his own small bicycle shop or the manager of a local Walmart than with a programmer who works for someone else, even if he earns twice the money.

That's not true

[PeeWee]

What seems common of women worldwide is they are most attracted to power and money. You will find, in general, that the most powerful and rich guys seem to have the best looking women, don't they? Why would an RW or UW be any different? She will compare her life to that of her friends lives. She will not want to be at the bottom of the social level. Women are competitive in that way. She will push you to earn more...better job, nicer things. The younger she is the more she will want.

I have suggested in the past that it might be wiser to search for your EE lady right in your own country. This would serve to eliminate the comparing and expectations to some extent because she would have already accomplished that process during your dating period.

Just a thought.

Peewee

[kievstar]

Confidence is very important with women.  I have seen many men with beautiful wives who are not rich. But are confident.

Some beautiful women like a very attractive man.

Do not let money fool you.  Not all beautiful women seek it.  But confident men do tend to have money. 

[Ade]

Confidence is very important with women.  I have seen many men with beautiful wives who are not rich. But are confident.

Some beautiful women like a very attractive man.

Do not let money fool you.  Not all beautiful women seek it.  But confident men do tend to have money. 

I would agree with this assessment. I've seen too many self confident ego tripping losers with little money but with incredible looking women on their arms for money to be a factor for all. Sure, money and power may be the attraction for some but not all.

Unlike Kievstar though, I would say that those with money and power tend to be confident people rather than confident people tend to have money.

[Caddydaddy]

Hi all,

I don't know if my post will help anyone, I just want to say what I am thinking regarding this thread.

After 16 years of marriage to a younger WW I strongly prefere a woman in my age range. I am finally feed up with that "I don't know what I want" and "it is all not right" attitude younger women seem to have. Older women are definitively wiser.

The experience I have with my current "Baby" is truly wonderful. We are both 48 with an age gap of 5 months. Just now we have an intensive, honest and very open conversation about our views of life as love, finances, expectations and so on. I must confess she has very reasonable views, she is a realist. And one very important thing she told me once at our very beginning of correspondence was: I am a proud and independent woman, nobody can buy me for any money! Wow! And who says a 48 year old woman is not attractive! My oh my, look at my Baby! 

The very first thing I made sure is that the reason of our relationship is mutual love, after two meetings we both know this very well. (out of several, different reasons, hehe)
Just now we fineadjust our outlooks and even thought I did not ask "the certain question" yet, we both know the answer.

I only say be always honest in all questions and answers, to yourself and to the woman you are corresponding with and expect same. If something doesn't seem right, stop it.

Ohh, and there is still one big important factor in that process to find your special one:
A big heap of luck!

my 2 rubles

Caddydaddy

[Gator]

Confidence is very important with women.  I have seen many men with beautiful wives who are not rich. But are confident.

Some beautiful women like a very attractive man.

Do not let money fool you.  Not all beautiful women seek it.  But confident men do tend to have money. 

A man's confidence is contagious, rubbing off onto women and making them feel secure. 

While being rich is not a mandatory criterion for good-hearted women, no RW wants to marry "poor."  The man must make the women feel that he is able to take care of her and will always do it.  Thus, a man with money yet seems "greedy" is not a winner. "Greedy" is a major consideration among RW.

In the list of what attracts women, I would say at the top is "charm."  It certainly will open the doors (and remove many a knicker).

[Globetrotter]

The difference between FSU and Western women?   Well, aside from the obvious such as culture, language, distance, and the political system in which they were raised...there's not much difference.  There are, however, many more of them willing to marry an older guy, as you would expect from developing countries.  (The same is true of Asian and Latin countries.)  Some are actresses for a little while, some have an agenda that can stretch out, some are wonderful, some are as bad as can be.  Some will stay with you as long as you can afford them, some will book as soon as their green card arrives, but hopefully who we choose will stay for the long haul.  Some are happy with a little more than they had at home plus a good guy, some feel as entitled as our domestic girls.  So, ask yourself how good a judge of character you are, and how good is your "game" and how prepared you are to go through a bad, bad divorce if you choose badly, as divorce over there is a means to an end.  If you are "sex starved" over here, you won't be when you go over there.  But if that is what will turn your head, better stay home. 

I've been at this for a while and have met them all.  I'm convinced you are much more likely to get divorced from an FSU girl than one from here...so just be thinking 50/50 if your lucky, and much worse odds if you're not!

And, age does matter.  If you marry a girl with a still ticking biological clock with no kids, expect she will want them, no matter what she tells you when agree to marry.  It's the easiest thing in the world to marry a girl who is 20, 30, 40 years younger than you when they are from a developing or "less developed country", but, do expect some unpleasent surprises in the future.

So, good luck and choose wisely!

[kievstar]

If you a good man, never have to worry about wife divorcing you.  Divorce happens to men not satisfying their woman or when a man gets bored.

[remiel6]

 

[OlgaH]

A man's confidence is contagious, rubbing off onto women and making them feel secure. 


While being rich is not a mandatory criterion for good-hearted women, no RW wants to marry "poor."  The man must make the women feel that he is able to take care of her and will always do it.  Thus, a man with money yet seems "greedy" is not a winner. "Greedy" is a major consideration among RW.

A man need to be confident of his woman that she will love him in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth not less that the woman of him. I guess every woman has her own understanding of a "poor man". Some woman whose priorities depend on the high prices and world famous labels and names and so on will consider a man who can not give it her to be a "poor man"...

"Greedy"? It again depends on a woman's mentality, she can call a man greedy if he thinks that a wise decision would be to put the money in business developing making prospects for the future  than to buy the same price car that she wants just to empress her friends.
  

In the list of what attracts women, I would say at the top is "charm."  It certainly will open the doors (and remove many a knicker).

One woman will be fascinated with a size of a man's wallet,  and other woman will be charmed by a man's talent to turn the kitchen into masterpiece of Art with his own hands.  

[Misha]

A man need to be confident of his woman that she will love him in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth not less that the woman of him. I guess every woman has her own understanding of a "poor man". Some woman whose priorities depend on the high prices and world famous labels and names and so on will consider a man who can not give it her to be a "poor man"...

"Greedy"? It again depends on a woman's mentality, she can call a man greedy if he thinks that a wise decision would be to put the money in business developing making prospects for the future  than to buy the same price car that she wants just to empress her friends.
  
One woman will be fascinated with a size of a man's wallet,  and other woman will be charmed by a man's talent to turn the kitchen into masterpiece of Art with his own hands.  

Nicely said Olga! It seems to me that on the forums it is too easily forgotten that some women actually love their husbands for whom they are. True, there will be the occasional fight or disagreement, but some women actually are not always on the lookout for the next best thing in terms of a husband.