I married a polish half russian woman it's been nothing but stress...

[GoodOlBoy]

I still say that a professioinal will do you both the most good. They will pick up on things you (and we) cannot. And it will land on both sides of the fence. If you both go in with open minds and honestly seek to save/better the marriage it is probably your best bet.

Jollyrats, I don't mean to argue, BUT......FSU women pay no credence to "psychiatrists" or "counselors".

It really is a cultural thing. 

IMHO...You are wasting your time and money.


GOB

[Sculpto]

Jollyrats, I don't mean to argue, BUT......FSU women pay no credence to "psychiatrists" or "counselors".

It really is a cultural thing. 

IMHO...You are wasting your time and money.


GOB

ECHO!

However.. the lady in question is Polish and being half Russian genetically does not make her Russian culturally.. so there may be very real and significant differences in her world view.

But, I still don't think they are at the stage of needing a counselor.. Jolly, you are just too logical and rational.. "he a man, think like a man" <---- thats a joke 

[2tallbill]

She says we need to go get new mattress

I think that many RW (AW too) will want a new "virgin mattress" and not
to sleep in one that she thinks you have surely used to have sex with
half the unattached women in the surrounding 5 counties. Real or not makes
no difference.

After all since she is attracted to you how could the rest of the single women
between the ages of 18 and 80 keep their hands off of you?

Just my two kopecks,

Bill

[Ronnie]

Training is great but when the shooting starts it's chaos.  This war analogy is applicable to marriage.  It just takes some adjusting  for a while.  My wife feels she's wasted a whole day if she's down ill.  Just be thankful she doesn't behave in the opposite manner.  My take is that she is very serious about this marriage and wants it to succeed.  You'll have to earn the leadership role.  It took 4 years before my UW wife began to quote to her friends something I had said.  Before then, I knew nothing.  Hang in there, sounds like you've got a diamond in the rough.

[Shadow]

Joint bank account is sufficient.
 My advice...keep a separate credit card account away from them...just let them use  yours [keep a better eye on it]
 
My wife tells me that the Polish have hated Russians ever since Stalin.
Could be a retro domestic difference?
One should take charge without having to pay counselors.

If you will take a look on the history between Poland and Russia you will find that Stalin was nothing more than the latest episode of a long line of battles between the Russians and the Polish. Both sides remember only the last victory usually...

[MarkLeftTX]

...Every day off she already has it pre planned for me,drives me nuts! She says we need to go get new mattress,take more pictures together,etc.I just wonder if she loves me why does she treat me like this? ...

OMG! She plans time to spend with you, wants to take pictures with you, and buy a wedding bed with you?

RUN!

Next she's going to want to have sex with you, or something.

Sheesh... she's acting just like a wife. Run away as fast as you can!

[WLang]

Joe, I suppose that's a problem of communication. You have to talk to her more and explain why you don't want her to be bossy. I am sure you can find a good compromise if you try. Maybe it's just the way she thinks she has to act in a marriage - taking care of the partner by telling him what to do. Communication is the key to most relationship problems.

[Aloe]

She may not even realize she is doing that, being bossy. You need to tell her how it looks from your side and suggest what to do to fix it. Frankly i used to do the same thing, maybe because my mom is very bossy and my dad just doesn't mind, so at first i was that way too, to the point of trying to convince my fiance that what i'm saying is the absolute and wouldn't calm down until he agreed with me on everything, until 1 day after an argument it struck me, that HE IS ENTITLED TO HIS OWN OPINION That may be funny that i had to figure out something as simple and natural as that, but that's how it was. I had a very dramatic improvement in my behavior and emotions since then. If before, if he wasn't agreeing with me i'd feel upset, but now it doesn't bother me anymore, and i became much happier overall So what i'm saying is, you need to explain things to her, that the way she phrases her requests is unacceptable to you, and how it makes you feel, and suggest what you both do about it to improve it.

[mies]

Let me know what you guys think and wish me luck.

maybe you are overreacting. If you want some spare/alone time - tell her "I need some time". You cannot live in a family without discussing joint activities or joint dwelling.

[mies]

OMG! She plans time to spend with you, wants to take pictures with you, and buy a wedding bed with you?

RUN!

Next she's going to want to have sex with you, or something.

Sheesh... she's acting just like a wife. Run away as fast as you can!

  LOL exactly!