In Kharkov April 27 to May 24

[CCowboy]

Hello from Kharkov,  I thought I'd write my trip report while in Kharkov and everything is fresh in my mind.  I began my trip on April 26 from North Carolina via Delta Airlines.  For the bad rap that Delta sometimes gets, this was a flawless and perfect trip.  Each leg (ILM to ATL to JFK to KBP) left exactly on time and arrived on time almost to the minute.  The exception was Kiev where we arrived 30 minutes early due to a 120 MPH tailwind.  I was through passport control and customs in less than 30 minutes. 

Next was to get some grivna.  Exchange rate at the airport was 8.01 to 1 for USD which is the same here in Kharkov and seems to be holding steady.  Very unlike getting pounds at Heathrow where they find every way screw you with a commission charge.  After getting enough grivna to pay for my bus ticket and some pocket change, next stop was to the Autolux ticket office there in the airport.  I had already made my reservation online for the 11:30 AM bus so that took just 5 minutes.  Cost was 130gr which included 20gr for my two bags....about $16  It was now about 9:30 and the weather was gorgeous so I found a place outside and people watched.

As the time for my bus approached, I noticed a little food kiosk that was constantly busy.  It's to the left of the international terminal as you're facing the airport.  Rather than rely on stops along the way, I got myself a 2 liter bottle of water and ordered what most everyone else was ordering.  They have meat on a pole and they slice it and dice it and mix the meat with various vegetables and wrap it like a burrito.  I got two of them and it was plenty to get me to Kharkov.  Cost $4.50.  The bus arrived promptly at 11:30 and after stowing the baggage, we left exactly at 11:40.  It was going to take about 7 hours but it's a modern bus, comfortable, and they even show movies.

Once seated, I had a window seat, I was able to enjoy watching everything happening outside.  I started picking out signs and translating them to English to refresh my limited Russian ability.  It started to get a little hot and stuffy and I was wondering when the air conditioning was going to kick in.  As it turned out, there was a problem with the AC and all we had was a little circulating air from a nozzle above us.  To make matters worse, I was on the sunny side so that magnified the problem.  They opened a roof vent but that did little good.  It was a relief when they stopped to just get out and get some fresh cool air.  I really cherished the two ice creams I purchased.

We made about three 10 minute stops, including Poltava which is the last stop before Kharkov and 5 hours from the airport, if BigDog is reading this.  The AC was a problem on this trip but it was the first time and I've taken about 8 trips with Autolux.  Finally after a little over 7 hours, we arrived in Kharkov.  As I was getting my luggage, I glanced over and saw Mila's smiling face...she was very easy to spot .  Her husband Anton was with Mila and drove us to my apartment.  By this time I'd been up about 32 hours with not much more than a catnap and I was feeling the effects and ready for a good nights sleep.

The apartment is located on a street called Pushinskaya and about 2 blocks from a McDonald's...for those of you hooked on McDonald's.  It's about a 10 minute walk to the opera house on Sumskaya and another 10 minute walk to Lenin monument..both famous meeting locations.  My apartment was immaculate and looks like it was recently renovated.  Ammenities include cable TV in both living room and bedroom, microwave, new stove, full size refrigerator, washing machine, and separate toilet and bathroom rooms.  Besides the king size bed, there is a queen size futon sofa in the living room.  There are two baconies facing two different directions and being on the 8th floor, I get a good view of the city.

After unpacking and taking a shower, I was ready for some much needed sleep.  I was out like a light and nearly 14 hours passed before I got up.  Mila met me later in the day and brought some new pots and pans of her own to make sure I had good things for cooking.  She also brought her People Net modem to set up my internet but we had a little technical difficulty so she took me to the People Net office which was near my first meeting later that day.  Mila is very thoughtful and efficient...she has to be because she is a very busy lady.

Mila is running personal ads for me and the first lady I was to meet was from the ad.  She was a nice woman, personable, spoke OK English, but not a woman I'd be interested for marriage.  Mila said not to worry, she had lots and lots of ladies for me to meet.  Even though I'd had a great nights sleep, I was feeling a little jet lagged and decided more sleep was best.  Mila did inform me I was going to meet the woman the next day who was a personal friend of Mila's and had sent her photos to me before I arrived, so I knew something about her.

Before going to bed, I had my first crisis.  Not paying attention, my cell phone slipped off my belt into the toilet.     It took about 15 seconds to negotiate the opening and retrieve my phone.  At first I thought it was OK because when I opened it, it went on, for about 2 seconds.  So I removed the battery and SIM card and beat it against a towel trying to remove as much water as possible.  Next I put it on the enclosed balcony in the sun and left it for the day to bake.  To my surprise, when I put it back together, it came on and works fine...but with a little odor ...not really.  It was my backup phone but I sure felt stupid

Now I'm ready for my second meeting with a woman I'll call "L".  Mila was running a little late, busy lady, so when I saw L, I just walked up and introduced myself.  She was very surprised and apparently hadn't seen my photo.  By the time Mila arrived, L and we had already exchanged some basic information...L understands some English.  I think Mila was afraid two people in a crowded area could not find each other, even if standing close to one another.  Off we went to a quiet cafe.  From the instant, I felt a good connection and I knew I would eant to see her again.  Our two hour meeting passed very quickly and we both decided to meet again in a few days.  Although it was only one meeting, I think the interest is mutual.

After my meeting, I attended a friends birthday party.  I knew there would be lots of booze but surprisingly, no vodka.  Instead there were about a dozen bottles of gin, whiskey, and stuff I've never heard of.  Now, you need to understand that I'm not much of a drinker.  I probably average a dozen beers, half a dozen glasses of wine, and a shot of vodka a YEAR.  I did OK, but couldn't keep up with my friend and it took a lot less booze for me to reach the point "enough".  I left the party at 2 AM and have been informed I had trouble putting on my shoes but I think that's an exaggeration.  I was able to navigate the 25 minute walk home and I made sure I didn't look like I had been drinking so I wouldn't be a target for muggers or be picked up by the police.  I think I did OK because neither happened.

Upon arrival to my apartment building, Mila had warned me they lock up the building late at night and the only way I can get in was to ring the manager.  After what seemed like an eternity, I found the button...there are no outside lights.  I went to the elevator but the power was off so now I had to climb 8 flights of stairs.  Also, there are no interior lights so it was pitch black.  I forgot to count the floors and had never used the stairs so now I had a problem.  I remember that the stairs ended at a locked door...probably to the roof.  So, I had passed my floor.  I remember the elevator had 11 buttons so I went down 3 floors.  Not the right floor.  I went back up one floor, didn't seem right.

So I sat down to think things out.  I'm not sure how long I thought but it must have been awhile.  I sure didn't want to try my keys in the wrong apartment.  That would be difficult to explain.  So, I started up the stairs again but this time I found the elevator and then looked for my apartment.  First time, wrong apartment.  Next floor, "that's my apartment".  So, I got out my keys to unlock the door.  Remember, it's pitch black!!  I couldn't find the hole.  I knew I had the right key, but where was the hole.  I could insert a joke but I'm sure most will realize what I'm thinking.  Finally, I was able to feel the hole.  Now it just a matter of getting the key INTO the hole.

I'm not sure how long it took, but eventually I was able to unlock the door.  Unfortunately, this is a double door apartment.  I had the same problem with the second door that I had with the first door, but again, eventually I was able to unlock it.  By now it was 4AM.  It was a 25 minute walk so it must have taken me an hour and 35 minutes to get into the building and into the apartment.  To make matters worse, Mila had scheduled an 11AM meeting for me.  I have NEVER canceled a meeting.  So, it was off to bed to get as much sleep as possible...which turned out to be about 5 1/2 hours.  As I was trying to get myself together, Mila called and said my meeting was going to be an hour later.  Too late to go back to bed so two Excedrin and a little food, very little, and I was ready to go.

I arrived on time but Mila was again running a little late.  I knew nothing about the woman I was going to meet except her age and name who we'll call "N".  I saw a quite attractive woman about the right age reading a newspaper and occasionally looking up like she was expecting someone.  So, I took a chance and called her name and "bingo".  I introduced myself and she knew some English so we were having a nice chat by the time Mila arrived.  Again, Mila was very surprised.  I later learned N was a personal friend of Mila's and had traveled from Zaparozhe(sp) to meet me.  We spent a very nice two hours together. 

I kept expecting the harder and more difficult personal questions to be asked.  As it turned out, Mila had already told N most of them so we it was just seeing what chemistry we had for each other.  When we parted N extended her hand to shake mine.  I explained that in America we shake a woman's hand for an introduction, for business, or if we're not interested in a woman, it's a sign of goodbye.  As I gave N a hug, she kissed me on each cheek and then a quick peck on the lips.  Definitely a good sign.  We've made plans to meet again tomorrow.

So now I've met two personal friends of Mila and the one lady from the ad.  Mila says there are many more women from the ad she needs to schedule for me to meet.  Also, I have about 10 women to meet who I arranged by using Flirt.Com.  I know I'm not going to meet them all or maybe not many more.  I like both of Mila's friends but at this point, it's much too soon to make plans to see one exclusively.  N will be in Kharkov just a few more days before returning home and L seems to be busy with work.  Also, Mila will be visiting family out of town until Monday so I'll be on my own for the next 3 days.  I'm sure I can keep busy.

So, this sums up my first 3 days in Kharkov.  I've still got 25 more days to go so I'll be posting on a regular basis.  One thing I can definitely say for sure that several others have already said, Mila is awesome.  I wish I had utilized someone like Mila long ago.  Her prices are very fair and her service is impeccable.  For what she charges to run a one week ad, you can MAYBE meet two women through an agency, and with an agency, it's very difficult to separate the pro-daters from the sincere women.  Also you avoid my biggest pet peeves with agencies...old photos and outdated information. 

All most agencies are interested in is the meeting fee and whatever else they can charge you for.  Mila will cut to the chase and introduce you to sincere women who are answering your ad.  From the beginning, a woman knows you are a foreigner and you're interested in marriage.  Mila can not guaranty chemistry from every meeting, but at least there's a high probability most meetings will with a woman you could be interested in.  To be continued....                 

     

[CCowboy]

It is now day 17 in Kharkov and what began with much hope and anticipation has become nearly a total disaster.  I know there are many on RWD who have written positive comments about Mila, including myself.  What I am about to write does not question Mila's honesty, but focuses on her inexperience, her competency, and lack of paying attention to details, such as noticing the rotting potatoes in the frig.  Mila is just 24 so her youth can account for some of the problems I've had. Unfortunately making mistakes is how people learn, but when Mila, or someone in Mila's position makes mistakes, it's the client that ultimately pays the price.    There are positive things I can say about Mila that goes beyond her looks and personality.  Also, I don't believe the problems I've had are the result of Mila intentionally causing them.  For my opinion, it is simply lack of experience.  As a person, I really do like Mila so this is about my business experience with her. 

As noted before, Mila found me a very nice apartment about a 20 minute walk to Lenin Square.  Nearly everything I requested was provided.  What it lacked was in the kitchen which was poorly equipped regarding plates to eat on...4 small saucers, a small bowl, and nothing to use in the microwave for cooking or even heating up food.  Although Mila said she would obtain these items for me, after waiting a week, I purchased the necessary items myself.  This was more of an irritant than a problem.  She's rented the apartment before so she knew how it was equipped.  I told Mila that since I was going to be in Kharkov for 4 weeks, this was going to be a home away from home.  I'd be doing a lot more cooking than going out to eat.  All she had to do was open the cabinets and she could tell it was poorly equipped, as I did.

One issue that continues as I write is the internet access I requested for the apartment.  On previous trips I've had cable internet which usually cost me about $40 for a month, including installation that I paid for, and that was unlimited internet use....about $20-25 if the ethernet cable is already installed.  Even in Dnepropetrovsk, I used PeopleNet and it cost me about $40 for the month.  So when Mila gave me a bill for $50 to use PeopleNet, I assumed it would cover my internet usuage for my 4 weeks.  Well, after 11 days, I had no internet service.  Mila arranged for additional time, but now after 6 days, I am again without internet service.  Mila never explained to me how much time my $50 was going to give me, nor is there any way for me to check my usage.  To make matters worse, the apartment is already set up for cable internet so it was just a matter of arranging service with the cable company that provides the cable TV service. 

What I think is that Mila made up her mind from the beginning that she was going to use PeopleNet.  I learned that Mila rented the modem from another person who actually has the account.  So, Mila pays a rental fee and then makes a few dollars by renting it to her clients.  Nothing wrong with that as long as the client agrees.  PeopleNet is about twice as expensive as cable internet because you're paying for megabites, but for a client staying less than 10 days, it's not a big deal and the $50 probably gave him all the interent he needed.  But for me staying for a month, it's been a major headache.    I notified Mila about 5PM about the problem and although PeopleNet was open for several more hours, I didn't have internet until the following afternoon.  UPDATE:  Just before leaving, I lost internet for the 3rd time.  I don't know how my original $50 was used regarding my actual internet usage.  When I asked her how much additional time was put on, she didn't know, since this was done by the person who actually has the PeopleNet account.    Mila did agree that using cable is the better choice, especially in my case. 



I'm not going to mention every little thing that is more of an irritant than a problem, but what I'm about to write turned out to be major, major problem and why we men travel to Ukraine and other FSU countries.  Before arriving, I explained to Mila that I wanted to use her personal ad service.  It was really the only reason I chose Kharkov.  We discussed in detail both by e-mail and Skype about her ad campaign..  I told Mila about my previous experience and the problems I had with one of her competitors, which was not the ad itself, but the lack of follow-up to the 40+ responses.  Before I get into more details, I want to mention that I'm 64 and have made several trips to Ukraine.  In the beginning I relied mostly on agencies.  But no matter how well I did my homework by networking with those who had gone before me, I eventually realized that using an agency, even one that is recommended, is usually a waste of time and money.

More recently, I've used sites like the Mamba group and Loveplanet and I've met quite a few women through these sites.  But the purpose of the ad approach is to meet women who do not want to use agencies or put themselves on internet sites.  From the beginning they know the ad is from a foreign man looking for marriage.  I told Mila what I thought the ad should include.  Later when I asked her about the content of the ad, her response was "Do not worry, I know what to say".  So, on my first full day in Kharkov, I met the 52 y.o. woman I mentioned earlier.  My next two meeting were not from the ad, including Larisa who Wyoming Mike mentioned, and "N" who had responded to a previous ad by a fellow RWDer.  As it turned out Larisa seemed to be too busy with work, her personal time, and had already committed her weekends.  We did meet a second time but it became apparant she didn't have the time available to meet regularly.  Very nice woman though.

So now I begin meeting women from the ad.  The next woman was pleasant and well educated, but 30 with a 7 y.o. daughter.  I'm trying to be cordial while all the time wondering why Mila arranged for me to meet this woman.  She is much too young for me, being 34 years my junior, and I made it very clear to Mila that I'm not interested in meeting women with dependent children or those who want to have children.  My ad was to read 38-48 years old and I let Mila know I was primarily interested in women in their early to mid 40's.  After the woman left, I asked Mila about what questions she asked and all she said was the woman did not tell her she had a daughter.  The next woman I met was pleasant, but not so attractive and overweight.  Then came the next two women who made me realize my ad campaign was going to be a disaster. 

The next woman I met was very unattractive and acted like she was on a job interview.  She was about 48, missing quite a few teeth, and had desperation all over her face.  I said but a few words for the 20 minutes the woman was with us and Mila sat with folded arms waiting our meeting to end.  It really was a very uncomfortable 20 minutes for all of us.  The last woman I met from the ad was the one who convinced me something was terribly wrong.  We met this woman inside the exit of the metro and our "meeting" lasted maybe 3 minutes.  The woman said she was 47 but Mila thought more like 60, and she looked it.  Again, very unattractive and carrying at least an extra 40-50 pounds and looked like she had just come from sweeping the sidewalks.  I told Mila it was time for a talk.  It was then I learned Mila's big mistakes.  First, she listed my age, although I told her not to.  I had 40+ responses previously when I did not list my age.  This time there were only about 15, according to Mila.

I'm not ashamed of my age nor am I trying to hide it.  With good genetics and living a healthy lifestyle, I've been fortunate not to look my age, especially when compared to most Ukraine men.  Mila said she listed my age because women will know I'm a foreigner and look younger.  ?????  The purpose of the ad is to get responses from women who would be potential mates.  It's Mila's job to ask the right questions and to give a woman an honest impression of me.  I asked "N" how old she thought I was and she thought I was no older than 50.  "N" said she had no idea of my age when we met because Mila never told her.  Mila said she did tell her so who should I believe?  I asked "N" if Mila told her I was 64, would she have met me and she said "No", especially since she made a 5 hour train ride specifically to meet me.  So my question, if Mila knew "N" wouldn't meet me if she knew my age, why would she include my age in the ad, and especially when I told her not to.  Mila and I had a long talk and she realized the mistake she made.  She had never worked with a client around my age, except Wyoming Mike, and he didn't place an ad. 

So, after spending nearly $2000 for my flight, apartment, and initial expenses, this trip has nearly turned into a waste of time and money.  I don't need for Mila to learn from her mistakes at my expense.  Mila had arranged 3 more meetings for me from the ad, but with the results so far, I didn't feel they would be any different.  I asked Mila for information about the women and she had none to offer.  She said if I'm not interested after 20 minutes, she'll end the meeting.  The meetings were spread out over a 6 hour period and based on the previous experiences from the ad, I wasn't going to spend 6 hours for 3 meetings that would probably last 20 minutes each.   With the internet and mobile phones, there is no reason why a woman can't provide her photo.  There is no reason why Mila can not ask a woman's age, her height and weight, if she smokes, if she has children, does she want children, and any other questions that will determine if we should meet.  In 2-3 minutes by asking the right questions, she should know if a woman and I should meet.  I feel Mila asked very few questions, if any except to arrange a time for these women to meet me.  I should have never met any of them.

I don't want to believe Mila was arranging meetings only to earn translation fees.  I don't want to believe Mila set me up with PeopleNet instead of the easily available cable internet because she makes extra money.  She doesn't strike me as that kind of person.  When we had our talk, I explained to Mila how important the ad was before I arrived in Kharkov, and that I was putting 100% of my faith in her.  She would be my eyes and ears.  Even though I asked several times about the ad, her response was, "Do not worry".  I feel Mila lacks the experience to realize that placing an ad for a man my age is much different than placing an ad for a man in his 40's.  If she continues to offer the ad as a service, then she AND her client must decide what the ad will say and the client has the final word.  I explained to Mila "CYA", and if the results are poor, or a disaster like mine, then the responsibility is the clients and not her's.  Now with 10 days to go, I'm trying to salvage my trip other than using Mila.  Obviously, based on my experience, I can not recommend Mila for an ad campaign.  She just has a lot to learn and needs to be much more detail conscious.  I asked Mila if she heard the expression of throwing mud against a wall and hope it sticks.  She did and that's exactly my impression how she handles an ad campaign, at least mine.

UPDATE:  At 10PM, Mila came to the apartment to take me to the bus station for my 11:30 departure.  There was the small talk but I think we were both a little tense because of the ad campaign.  Nothing was mentioned about money or any additional translation fees.  Then about 19 minutes before departure, Mila asks if I'm going to pay her for her translations.  The parking lot of the bus station is not the place for this discussion.  Mila presented me with a bill for $300.  First, because of the ad problems, I felt Mila had not earned her fees.  I had paid $120 and I know only a small portion is actually for the ads.  Why Mila felt she should be additionally compensated I don't know.  So, not we get into more discussion about the ad.  Mila said she had placed in the ad my criteria so she assumed each women met the criteria. 

So, she never asked questions to determine if the woman and I should really meet.  She said that she used the word "beautiful" in the ad and all women think they are beautiful.  So as I suspected, when the woman called, all Mila did was make an appointment for a meeting.  I've described the women I met from the ad and I was trying to be kind.  With just a few minutes before departure, there was really no time to negotiate.  I have never refused to pay for services on any previous trip, but I felt very strongly the $120 for the ad campaign and any translation fees from those meetings was a total waste and falls upon Mila.  In my opinion, she didn't earn them.  Mila did not itemize her translation fees so I had no idea how much I owed her for the meetings with the women I met who were not from the ad.  Mila even said that I didn't have to pay if I felt that way.  I gave Mila $150 which in addition to the $120 I alread paid was more than enough to cover her translation fees of the non ad women.

This was a very difficult and uneasy position for me to be in because I really like Mila.  I believe she sincerely tries to help men with her various services when they come to Kharkov.  But I hope Mila also realizes this is not on the job training where she can make the kinds of mistakes which essentially ruined my trip as far as the ad campaign.  Mila needs to learn much more about the complicated process of placing an ad, screening the women, and making sure there is at least a reasonable chance there would be a mutual interest between the man and woman.  Each woman I met through the ad was zero possibility.  I really hope that Mila learns from this experience, learns what it means to be a man's eyes and ears and being in his shoes, and will ask the kinds of questions necessary to know if she should make an appointment for a meeting.  I know she has had some successes, like Goodbrew who is getting married next month.  I would really like to be able to recommend that men use Mila's ad campaign when they come to Kharkov, but based on my expereince, I can't.  I think she's a very good source for an apartment and I would use her as a translator, but I don't believe she has the experience to be offering an ad campaign.   

The only thing positive from this trip so far is "N".  As mentioned before, she responded to one of Mila's ads for another client.  "N" is very attractive, great personality, has a wonderful figure, and can at least carry on a conversation with her basic English.  She's never been married, has no children, and seems to be OK with not having children in the future.  She's previously had a 9 year relationship and just came out of a 7 year relationship earlier this year.  So she's a commitment type woman and not one to go from boyfriend to boyfriend.  We met just 2 weeks ago so it's far too soon to be discussing "commitment", but she does seem to have an interest in a serious relationship with me.  We get along very well and we seem to have the right chemistry for each other, though there are a few major issues that need to be resolved.  So far we've met about 7 times.  My hang-up is that she turns 35 on the 15th.  If my math is correct, we're just short of a 30 year age difference, 29 years, 11 months, and 10 days to be exact. 

I doubt if there's a single RWD member who would endorse a 30 year age difference.  I know I wouldn't though there are a few examples of happy and successful marriages between a RW and an AM with large age differences, but very few.  So I asked myself if "N" was 7-10 years older, would I pursue a serious relationship leading to marriage, and the answer is yes, if we can resolve a couple of issues.  It's ironic that if Mila had told "N" I was 64, "N" would not have met me.  I feel it's a bigger issue for "N" to marry a man of my age.  So I told her if she decides she wants to marry, I want her to be sure.  I don't want her to realize 5 years from now when she's 40 and I'm 70 that she made a big mistake.

So, now I'm at a 10 day crossroad.  Do I just continue to see "N" and see if it can grow into something that will warrant another trip, or do I continue to try to meet a woman of a more reasonable age and just decide the age difference between "N" and me is too great?  TO BE CONTINUED....     

[Shadow]

CCowboy,

I have read through it all, and while there certainly are things that Mila could have improved, some of what you mention seems to be an error on your part as well.

About the internet bills, I advise Mila to check up with the person renting her the modem. Probably there is a payment system by data traffic. You running out of traffic can have two possibilities. Either you are a heavy internet user, and do not change this habit during your trip, or ther person renting uses the extra account money to download the latest movies, not being used that a client stays a long time.

I do hope you will leave the things you bought, to let the next person not suffer the same fate.

Regarding the ad campaign, I believe that the blame is to be shared. First of all, with all repect, but judging from your avatar you look at least 60. While most men believe to look younger as their age, only very few are lucky enough to fit their self image.
What further struck me is that you wish to hide your age in the ad, yet expect Mila to do a full research on the women reacting on the ad to see if they are 'worthy' to meet you. Without having done an extensive interview with you, and knowing how you react on different types of women, 'beautiful' is not something that anyone can pick for you. Your best connection is someone that you would not have met based on your ad criteria, yet you blame Mila for inviting women that did not fully match.

Why not looking for women in your own age bracket ? Even a 48 year old woman still has a 16 year age gap. Regarding the decision to make, it depends on how strong your family is at growing old. If you are expected to last 10 years (the average), how does 'N' feel about being a relatively young widow far away from her home land ?
If you expect to last another 30, that makes things very different.

[GoodOlBoy]

Before I get into more details, I want to mention that I'm 64 and have made several trips to Ukraine. .........  My ad was to read 38-48 years old (ladies)..........

CCowboy, Shadow was polite.

GoodOlBoy is going to be a "little" more blunt.

You are 64 years old, it doesn't matter what you look like or feel like, you are 64 years old.

If you are looking for a woman 20- 30 years younger than you, YOU KNOW WHERE THIS ROAD ENDS........GCG !!!

I'm not ashamed of my age nor am I trying to hide it.

Then post your age in your ad's sir.

Try to put the shoe on the other foot for one minute.

Can you imagine the look on a 30 something year old woman's face, when she comes (by train, plane, car, whatever) to meet a 64 year old man? 

As Gomer Pyle use to say: "Surprise, Surprise".


 

Mila presented me with a bill for $300..... I felt Mila had not earned her fees.

Sorry sir, BUT....You should have paid the lady.

You come across in your post as "greedy" and FSU women HATE greedy men.


GOB


PS....OK Dan, now you can jump on GoodOlBoy.

[groovlstk]

I feel it's a bigger issue for "N" to marry a man of my age.  So I told her if she decides she wants to marry, I want her to be sure.  I don't want her to realize 5 years from now when she's 40 and I'm 70 that she made a big mistake.

CC, there's absolutely no way whatsoever that she can "be sure" that your age won't be a factor in five years/or something she won't regret. There's simply no way she can anticipate something like this - she may even believe 100% it won't be a factor, but you can talk about it until you're blue in the face and it won't make a shred of difference until she experiences it.

[CCowboy]

Hi Shadow,  You do make some good points.  I base the age issue on the experiences I've had on previous trips and the ages women at least perceive me to be, although they could just be being polite.  I also base it on the ages of the women who seemed to have a serious interest in me.  Age didn't seem to be an issue with women in their early 40's and older.  And remember, comparing most 64 y.o. Americans with a 64 y.o. Ukraine man usually shows at least a 10 year difference in appearance.   Why things did not work out on previous trips is an entirely different post.  As mentioned, I had previously placed an ad without age, and at the suggestion of the person I was working with.  I had over 40 responses.  However, due to issues with the other person I posted in another thread, there was not a follow-up with most of the calls.  

Prior to my arrival, I really tried to get Mila to tell me more about the ad she planned to place with the repsponse, "I know what to write".  That was something I should have insisted upon but Mila had such a good reputation on RWD and was personally recommended by a friend of mine, I let my guard down.  If you had seen the women I met who responded from the ad, the age wasn't an issue, except for the 30 y.o. with the 7 y.o. child.  Mila admitted to me that she made no attempt to ask the women additional questions and just assumed they met the criteria from the ad.  From what I understood, the ad was about what I was looking for and all that was said about me was that I was 64.  It was as though Mila expected the women to volunteer information about themselves without her asking.  When I asked her about the 30 y.o. woman, her response was "She didn't tell me she had a child".

All I expected Mila to do was ask a woman her height, weight, if she smoked, if she was a drinker, if she had children, if she wanted children...things that are simple to find out and takes just a few minutes by phone.  When I met a woman, such as the last women who I would describe as being about 165cm and at least 80 kg, that is enough of a reason for me not to meet her.  It's much better to do that over the phone rather than have her make the trip to meet me and then be dismissed by Mila after a 3 minute "interview" in the metro.  It was embarrassing for the woman and embarrassing for me.  As far as a woman being beautiful, that is not something I requested to be put in the ad and I'm well aware that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Again, what was placed in the ad was done by Mila and without consulting me.

A woman under 40 is outside my comfort zone.  I met 5 women from Flirt.Com and all were 42 to 47.  These were women "I" chose to meet.  "N" was Mila's idea and told me she was coming from Zaporozhye specifically to meet me.  Of course, being quite attractive and with an excellent figure, it was a pleasant meeting.  She has a terrific personality and I liked her but she was not in my "radar" for a serious relationship.  Besides the age difference, a woman that age usually has dependent children or wants children, neither of which interest me.  With each meeting Mila set up, I only learned the specifics about the woman at the meeting.  After 5 meetings from the ad and discussing the basic content of the ad with Mila, I decided the ad was campaign was dead....especially when I learned Mila had done nothing more than arrange a meeting after the woman called.  So, most of my time was speant with "N".

"N" is not a 22 y.o. university student.  At 35, she's old enough to decide her own future.  The age difference seems to be a bigger issue with me that it is with her.  I had Mila translate for me with a woman I met from Flirt, who was 42.  Although it was a good meeting and the woman initially decided to meet a second time, we didn't.  I thought at least Mila would know the kind of woman I preferred, both age wise and the other factors I was looking for.  So, "N" and I overall connected well on most levels.  "N" doesn't strike me as a woman looking for a visa out of Ukraine.  I think her feelings for me are honest and sincere.  At least I'm willing to continue what we started in Kharkov and see where it leads.  She could be the needle in the haystack that rarely comes along.  We do have issues to resolve as noted but time will tell.                    

[CCowboy]

I can't respond to every single comment, and I'm sure there will be many more.  I am NOT as was NOT looking for a woman 30 years younger than me.  I told Mila I was looking for a woman from her early to middle 40's.  She suggested the ad say 38-48.  But I do feel that a 20 year age difference for a 64 y.o. man is not unreasonable and more common than not common in AM/RW marriages.  I agree that there is no way to know how "N" will feel 5 years from now when she's 40 and I'm 70.  We are in the early stages of our relationship and met about 10 times over 3 weeks.  I'm not about to make a commitment this quickly and I'm sure she isn't either.  Regardless of age difference and other factors, this is a high risk/high reward pursuit.  All we can do is try to minimize the risk by minimizing the risk factors, and I agree that a 30 year age difference is a big risk factor.  ONCE AGAIN, the meeting with "N" was arranged by Mila.  I had nothing to do with it except to meet at the appointed time.  Apparantly Mila felt the 30 year age difference was OK.       

[tim 360]

Thanks for your trip report CC and it seems you had some problems.  Communication could have been better between you and Mila and especially you should have asked what the ad would read.  I am not clear if your hired Mila to be your terp or your matchmaker, but the later usually charge much more.

Honestly at 64, you are 64.  I say this very kindly.  You may flatter yourself by thinking you look younger than 64 and many guys think they look younger...and most really don't.  Only to themselves.  A 35 year age difference is the monster in the closet for most marriages. 

It is probably a very good time to re-think your strategy and methods.  good luck, tim360

[CCowboy]

GOB,

Before I ever arrived in Kharkov, Mila and I had several conversations both by e-mail and Skype regarding the ad campaign.  We discussed thoroughly that I was not interested in meeting women who did not meet the basic criteria of what I was looking for.  This included a woman 30 y.o. with a 7 y.o., women who's height and weight were not proportionate...165cm and 80kg is not proportionate, or the other factors earlier mentioned.  Mila chose not to ask these questions and merely arranged meetings.  Her approach was that if I didn't like the woman after 15-20 minutes, she would end the meeting.  I gave Mila the benefit of the doubt that she was not merely earning translation fees.  I was polite with the first meeting that lasted about an hour and a half although I knew instantly I was not interested.  But when woman after woman after woman after woman from the ad are women I should have never met had Mila asked just basic questions, I didn't feel she should profit from it.  As it was, she made money from the $120 I paid for the ads, the majority not going for ad costs.  She was also compensated for the translation services of the women I didn't meet from the ad.  Since Mila didn't give me an itemized bill, I could only guess.  I'm sure that the $320 Mila received well exceeded her $10/hour translation charges for the non-ad women as well as her other fees.  The next time you need some plumbing done around your house, give me a call.  After I do a poor job and present you with a bill for the full amount, I'll expect you to pay it.  I just didn't feel Mila should be fully compensated for the mistakes she made.  Mila fully admits that she has never had an ad campaign for a man my age nor had a client stay for a month, and she was not prepared.  Mila made some bad decisions and earned less than what she expected.  We both wish my trip had a different outcome.      

[CCowboy]

Regarding my TR,  My first thought was to write nothing more than my first post.  I really like Mila and I don't want to damage her business.  But I was encouraged by a couple of my RWD friends to post what I did.  They felt that everyone would learn by me posting what happened.  Maybe future members will be more deligent and not take for granted that even with Mila's good reputation, mistakes can be made.  For Mila, I hope she learns that each client is different and she has to have the skills to avoid the problems we had in the future.  Hopefully, all will benefit.  As for me, I have no plans to make another trip in the near future, if another trip at all.  I'm well aware of my age and the laws of diminishing returns.  It's a much different ballgame for a man of my age than it is for those under 50.  It's also a lot more difficult to find the kind of woman in her 40's and older to justify all we have to go through than it is for the men seeking younger women.  It's much more complicated that meeting a very pretty woman of good character who's hot in bed.  Once a woman arrives the question pops up, "Now what do I do with her"?  Older women usually have no or very limited English skills and are therefore less employable.  I'm not looking for a housewife to clean my house, wash my clothes, and cook tasy dishes.  I'm fully capable of doing that myself.  I'm also not looking for a princess who wants a sugar daddy.  I married a Ukraine woman before and there were many, many enexpected pitfalls.  I'm just trying to minimize those pitfalls, and at the same time, find the right woman who justifies all we need to go through.  Again, I like Mila and I just hope she will learn from this and do her business better.       

[Vaughn]

CC, nice report despite the "learning experience" you were hoping to avoid...  I have to agree with Shadow
that failing to list your age isn't a good thing, and sets ladies up for unreasonable expectations. One thing
you mentioned early on stayed with me through your narrative - your aversion to agencies, and I wonder
what caused you to develop that notion. There are many reputable agencies with middle aged ladies who
have finished parenting their grown children, and want more than they now have - and don't want to die lonely.
It seems to me that in your stated preferred age range, the presence of pro-daters and the like would be at
a minimum, although that same range usually presents more language barrier possibilities.

IMO, you did not slander Mila. Your situation was uncharted territory for Mila and she approached the
challenge with good intentions. Let's face it - even an experienced mentor comes up empty, and often.

I believe your requirements are most reasonable for well-founded reasons, but the ad strategy attracted
more unqualifieds than not. My own preference would be too proactively find the woman you seek, and
not submit to the randomness that such ads can induce.

[Faux Pas]

Thanks for your TR CC! It is very interesting and certainly a good learning tool for others.

Just a few comments  come to mind.

I hope this doesn't become a "beat up" on CC thread. You let your guard down based on advice of a friend and a sterling reputation. The lesson here is: leave nothing to chance. From your description it sounds as if there were mistakes on yours and Mila's behalf. She's being paid to avoid them, you are doing the paying. If it were me I would have insisted she do as I asked instead of the "Do worry, I know what I'm doing".

You should have paid Mila the price agreed. True, she didn't do her homework which may or may not have resulted  in you meeting the quality of women you were seeking but, it does sound like she did do as you requested. You were not satisfied with her results but she did the work nonetheless. You pay her as agreed but do not give her a favorable rating.

In my many trips to Russia and even staying in the same place several times, the internet situation is always a pain in the axe. From my experience, be glad you had what you had. You could have been as I have on a number of occasions, without any and nothing to do about it.

I tend to agree with you that a 40 something may not be as concerned with your age. I would add though that any woman with more than a 10 yr age difference "should" be concerned. Especially when the man is 64. No slam intended here CC but, you are no spring chicken. Sure you could live to 100+ and that is another 37 years. The present median life for a American male is in the latter 70's IIRC. 38-48 may still be a bit younger than advisable even with advanced ages. I only mention that because I personally sought a lady to grow old with me not behind me.

[kievstar]

CC, thanks for the good report.

I think you know now and for the rest of the people on this board is that 64 year old men are not in high demand for "beautiful" Ukraine women under 48 years old unless a man of wealth. there are exceptions but when you put in requirements about English, how old children, smoke, height to weight ratio, and level of beauty your in the wrong country. just not a lot of women in your fishing pool you can land.  

Must always be honest about age as it will comeback to hunt you.  

Internet is more expensive in Kharkov than Kiev and the quality is worse in Kharkov. You paid a very cheap price.  Your apartment was a very cheap price as well. 

[CCowboy]

I agree that knowing what I now know and experienced, I let my guard down and didn't take control of things as maybe I should have.  Mila is really a good person.  She's one of the nicest people I've met in the industry.  This TR is not intended to bash her, but for her to learn from mistakes that were made and for other's who use Mila's services in the future to stay on top of things better.  But there was quite a bit of advanced planning.  I sent Mila my history of previous trips, the good, bad, and the ugly.  I submitted my photos to Mila in case a woman wanted to see me before meeting.  I wrote out in detail what I was looking for in a woman.  I didn't expect Mila to be a matchmaker.  I think the only people who can match each other up are the two people involved. 

But it was agreed that Mila would ask the questions regarding a woman's age, height, weight, health habits, having dependent children, wanting to have a child, etc so that I wouldn't be meeting women who we knew I wouldn't be interested in.  I even gave Mila the example of another RWD member who met 50 women before he met his future wife.  Based on the responses from a previous ad, 40+ and without listing my age, I told Mila I wasn't interested in a campaign where we throw mud against the wall and hope something sticks.  Even if I had the same number of responses but after Mila screening the woman and the women screening me it came down to a half dozen or so I'd meet, that was fine with me.  I just wanted to avoid meeting a woman where zero chance exists.   

The 52 y.o. woman was pleasant, but quite short, and not so attractive.  The next woman was Larisa, not from the ad, I liked her.  But she said she usually works 7 days a week, swims when she's not working, and the next 2 weekends she had plans.  There really wasn't much of a chance to see if something could develop.  Ironically, two days after meeting, I received a "letter of interest" from her from Natasha Club.  Of course, I knew it was bogus but Larisa was upset about it and had been trying to get her profile removed.  After we met a second time, I contacted Natasha Club and tactfully explained that I knew it was a bogus letter and that Larisa wanted her profile removed.  Natasha Club contacted Larisa in one day and her profile was removed.  The next woman I met was 34 y.o. "N".  I never asked Mila to arrange the meeting with someone that young and I didn't know until after we met that she had come from Zaporozhye.  Had I known, I wouldn't have met her because I wasn't interested in meeting a woman from another city. 

The next woman I met was the 30 y.o. with a 7 y.o. child.  I still have no idea why Mila arranged for us to meet, other than Mila not asking the questions to screen her...age and if she had a child.  I could continue to list the next woman and the next but I did that earlier.  By the time I met the last woman from the ad, I'd had it.  Why was I continually meeting women I should have never met?  I think there are several factors.  One was my age, and I never told Mila not to disclose my age.  I only told her not to list my age in the ad.  I really thought it was understood that when a woman calls, Mila would ask the woman the questions as well as say more about me...once she met me and could give an honest impression.  So, I never asked Mila to lie about my age or even not disclose it when a woman asked.  The other issue was that the ad was mostly about what I was looking for in a woman rather than including more about me and  creating an interest for the woman to call.  That's where I let my guard down by not insisting Mila disclose the ad to me before placing it.

As far as the internet issue, I agree it's much less important than the ad but I needed it because of business dealings I had in the U.S., I was using Flirt.Com to arrange other meetings...my back-up plan, as well as having contact with the outside world.  This was my 6th trip to Kharkov and on 2 previous trips I had cable internet installed at my expense and installation and one month unlimited internet was $40-45.  I also did this in Sevastopol and again it was about $40-45 for installation and a month unlimited usage.  So, arranging for internet was not something new to me.  All Mila told me before I arrived was I had internet. 

It wasn't until after I arrived that I learned it was PeopleNet and Mila presented me with a bill for $50.  I assumed it would be cable and unlimited.  Since I was going to be in Kharkov for 4 weeks and $40 covered my Internet costs for one month in Dnepropetrovsk with PeopleNet, I assumed the $50 would do the same in Kharkov.  Later when I asked Mila more about the PeopleNet account, she told me she rented it from a 3rd party, didn't know how much money was put on the account, or how much usage I had.  Again, it had always worked fine fior her short term clients, but it didn't work for someone staying 4 weeks.

As far as agencies go, I've used plenty.  The last was in Sevastopol and from the recommendation of an RWD member.  I told the director my parameters and she had 4 recommendations.  The first wanted to have a second child, the second wanted a sugar daddy and a life of luxury, the third was a little psycho, and the fourth there was just no way.  Between agencies not knowing the ladies very well, to out-dated photos , to flat out lying just to get the meeting fee, I've come to distrust them all.  This agency had the exact same photos of women I'd personally met 7 years earlier...but they were still highly recommended.  I don't have much faith in the honesty and integrity of agencies.

One final comment about ages.  There is a woman in Kharkov I met 2 years ago and we were very, very serious about each other.  But, her family obligations prevented things from going further.  She was 40...though she told me she was 38 because she thought I was 47.  I know, just trying to flatter me.  Last year I met a woman and we became very serious, enough to plan marriage.  She was 40 but several issues killed that.  I don't have a problem meeting women in their early 40's who develop serious feelings for me and me for them.  My preference is mid 40ish but nothing like the women I met from the ad.  I'm also not looking for a DDG photo model, but more of a woman who is very attractive, and who has the qualities many American women lack.  I asked Mila if she thought I was reasonable in my expectations and she said yes.  Maybe to flatter or stroke me but I think she was being honest.

Finally, about Mila.  As I said before, I really like Mila.  It wasn't a lack of integrity or honesty on Mila's part.  It was simply her inexperience working with someone my age and someone who stayed for a month.  What worked for most of her clients didn't work for me.  Right now Mila is unhappy with me about the trip report.  But the purpose of the TR is for Mila to avoid the mistakes she made with me in the future and also for her future RWD clients to be better in control of their situation and to make sure they don't assume everything is going to fine just because it's Mila.  They can also learn from my unfortunate trip.  I've been home less than 2 days and I'm still tired from the 49 hours I was up getting back home. 

Thinking about another trip is furthest from my mind.  But if I returned to Kharkov, I would still use Mila, if she wanted to work with me.  But "I" would write the ad.  I would insist she asks the proper questions before arranging a meeting.  And I would make sure the apartment had cable internet, not PeopleNet.  I'd even stay in the same apartment...if the owner puts a single king mattress on the bed instead of the two singles.  But it doesn't have AC so avoid the hot months.  There isn't really anything more for me to ad.  If other's want to comment, good or bad, that's fine.  No one's going to be lined up against a wall in front of a firing squad for saying what they think.  But I'm unlikely to respond to any more replies.  If things continue to develop with "N", I'll begin a new thread and then you can tell me how insane I am to even consider marriage with that big of an age difference.  THE END                           

[Sculpto]

CC.. I really only have one multi part comment and if you don't want to respond its ok, its really meant to be something for you to think about.

You seem to be an experienced man so I am simply dumbfounded why you would not verify every single detail yourself, especially considering your past experiences. 

I noticed your objections to the ladies you met and the preferences you described are almost exclusively based upon appearance. 

I think you should have paid the requested amount for translation.  Even if you were not happy with the service, a service was provided.  If Mila was charging you $10 an hour and requested $300 did she provide 30 hours of translation?  yes or no. 

Finally, in your age bracket there are TONS of interesting women in the Bay Area.  Want to meet my Mom? 

[JR]

Hmmm, very good post all in all. I can see where your comments about Mila not having the experience is valid, she did drop the ball on several issues. But I would like to point out that while you are pointing one finger at Mila there are three pointing back at yourself.
You must take the lead in your search. It is after all your adventure, not someone else's. I blame you for accepting answers such as "Don't worry about it" or "It's taken care of" and the most awful customer service answer of all time, "I don't know."  Whenever someone tells me this I immediately go into grill mode and nail them down to specifics. You never should have allowed an ad to be placed in your interest without personally signing off on it's content first.
I won't argue with you about paying or not paying Mila for translator services. She should have provided you with an itemized bill. I don't pay blanket bills either. But did pay her half when she stated you didn't have to if you felt it wasn't warranted (which you obviously didn't feel it was) so I actually give you a few points for that one.
One thing that gets me is it appears you knew nothing in advance about what services she would be providing to you other than "placing an ad." I think this should be a lesson to everyone. Know what you are paying for before you write the check.

[JR]

One more item since it seems to be what everyone wants to kick you for. As I understand it you didn't go there looking for it, it found you. To hell with what anybody says or feels about what is or isn't right for you. If the both of you want to make a go of it then by all means do so. The world is full of broken marriages of couples who were within a few years of each other. There are no guarantees. I do feel a very large age gap is stacking the deck against you but hey, it's your hand to play.
My favorite niece married a man 23 years her senior seven years ago and is still madly in love with him.
And just who in the hell knows exactly how they will feel about anything in five years from now? That's a long time and people change. How many here will be divorced from their FSUW of five years age gap?
It's your adventure, live it!

And thanks again for the great trip report.

Oh and I also don't feel you bashed Mila in what you wrote. 

[facetrock]

CC, come on. You paid a little more than you should have for the internet. After all the trips you have taken to Ukraine you know stuff like this can happen. As far as I am concerned "so what" It wont break you since you appear to be able to afford multiple trips. Before I would spend all this time on a forum complaining about PeopleNet I would have just paid it and forgot about it.
   And no matter what you say now you are hurting Milas business. Dude. Give her a break. She put in your ad your real age and now your pissed at her for being honest to the women who read it. The truth is you didnt want the women to know your age because you knew your responses would be slim at best. Is it Milas fault you are 64? Is it the 38 to 48 year old womens fault that they dont want to meet a 64 year old man? Do you know how hard it would be for Mila to find you a woman in that age braket that would be able to accept your age? CC, your 64, deal with it. If you really want a woman up to 26 years younger my advice it to try the Philippines. Good luck

[Ravens9273]

I agree 100% with facetrock however I will take this a little further.

I know many agency owners and I will admit you are they type of guy they tell stories about for a long time.

You want so much information on a lady (age, weight, looks etc...) yet you want to hide information about yourself.

I think your demands are above and beyond and find that while you have these demands your search is going to be met with nothing but disaster.

You have to understand this search is not just about YOU. It is about the lady as well. I think you have some of the MAIL ORDER BRIDE belief in you. It seems to me you think you can just pick a lady and she has no say. This is obvious since you feel they do not deserve the right to know the truth about you.

Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with searching for a partner who by all means is out of your league. If you can get one then more power to you. However you must realize you had better have one hell of a personality to land one of these fine Gems. Your attitude is showing you are lacking big time in this department.
I think you need to take a good look at yourself and realize it is not all about you. before you judge these ladies on age, weight etc... you need to spend some time in the mirror first.

You found it to be beneath you to meet some of these Women. When you finally change that attitude to where you should have felt privilege that these lovely ladies took their time just to meet you. Then you have a chance to be successful.

[Aloe]

is it just me or its wrong to continually say "use Mila" and "utilize Mila" instead of saying "utilize Mila's services" just sounds really wrong to me every time i stumble across that in your texts

[CCowboy]

Now that the Monday Morning Quarterbacks who neither know me, were not in Kharkov, and were not part of Mila's and my conversations before I arrived have had their say, the real issue with me was the ad campaign.  The only person who hasn't spoken and who is a member of RWD is Mila.  Mila is unhappy with me about my comments.  This is a forum where people freely give their opinions and whether or not everyone agrees, that is what this forum is all about.  Although I don't agree with some of the opinions about me, I respect the poster's right to express them.  With that said, I would like to hear what Mila has to say.

Nearly a year ago I was contacted by Mila to come to Kharkov and work with her.  Eventually I contacted Mila again and we discussed her ad campaign.  If Mila had said, "I will place an ad for you and then we will meet all women who respond to it", then I would have replied "No thank you".  But that's not what was discussed and Mila said she will asked the previously posted questions so I won't be meeting women who are a waste of time.  I didn't ask Mila to be a matcmaker but I did ask her not to arrange meetings with women who were obviously women I wouldn't be interested in OR women who would not be interested in me.  That was the agreement, plain and simple.  The three women Mila indroduced me to who were not from the ad were very nice and I particularly liked Larisa. 

I really don't know why Mila would have a 34 y.o. woman take a 5 hour train ride to meet me, especially when the woman's plans were to return home the next day.  Ironically, "N" turned out to be the woman I spent the majority of my trip with.  "N" says she didn't know I was 64.  Mila said she did.  I would like Mila to explain why I was meeting a 30 y.o. woman with a 7 y.o. daughter.  I would like Mila to explain why I met the last woman who was not overweight, she was obese.  So I repeat, when every woman I meet from the ad is a woman I felt I should not have met if they had been asked a few questions, I don't think it's unreasonable for me to be upset.  By the time I met the last woman, I was into my 17th day and as far as the ad campaign, it was a bust.

So, I am really in the dark about the ad campaign.  When did it begin, how many responses were there, and were calls responded to promptly?  The first woman I met told me Mila had changed our meeting time 3 times, all within a couple of hours.  It was my only meeting of the day so was she juggling her schedule because of another client or for personal reasons?  In fact, I met just that one woman from the ad my first week, partly due to Mila going to visit family out of town for 5 days.  Then the next woman I meet from the ad was the 30 y.o.  I tried very hard not to get upset but I sure didn't like Mila's response when she said "The woman didn't tell me she had a daughter".  After meeting women 3, 4, and 5 from the ad and now into my 17th day, I was not at all happy.  When Mila arranged 3 more meetings, not being able to tell me much about the women, and based on the previous experiences, I was finished.

So, I can be critisized and judged as being a bad guy, but the fact remains that what Mila and I had discussed and how the ad campign would be conducted is not what happened.  The PeopleNet, cooking items, and a few other things were irritants.  They just added fuel to the already very hot fire.  So, again, I would like for Mila to answer my questions.  Mila sent me an e-mail stating she had done many things wrong because, basically she did not have the experience working with an older man staying for a month.  I can accept this and Mila's honesty and integrity was never an issue, just her lack of experience.  But she also asked me not to submit my trip report.  By the time I received her e-mail, the report was already submitted.

I hope Mila understands this is a forum where experiences are posted in trip reports, the good along with the bad.  Mila has had many, many positive posts from other clients.  But is it right and fair to RWD members to post only the positive?  I think my experience is a lesson for everyone that even with the best planning and the best intentions, things go wrong.  I placed too much of my fate in Mila's hands rather than approving the ad and making sure Mila could tell me more about the woman before meeting.  Basically, I relied on her good reputation and felt that we had an understanding of how things were going to proceed based on e-mails and conversations on Skype.

Despite my unsatisfactory experience, I would still recommend Mila because inexperience is not the same as someone who is dishonest or someone who works only for the money...and whatever it takes to obtain it.  Mistakes were made, but mistakes are made, that's life.  Mila is going to be an even better person to work with because this was a learning lesson for her as well.  This was about a business experience, nothing more.   For all you MMQ who think you know me, you don't....just as I don't know you and reserve my judgement.  There are several members of RWD I have personally met and a few have become personal friends.  They know me and although I don't need for them to come to my defense, I don't have much tolerance for judgemental people who can only speculate and seem to enjoy being "know-it-alls".   There were some good comments made and I appreciate them.  CC
           

[Ravens9273]

CC,

Your post is showing once again it is all about you and you have unrealistic expectations.
Your expecting Mila to work miracles for you.
As others have said. You are 64. You are looking for Women with a pretty large age gap for your age. Inside you knew this and reason why you wanted your age hidden.
All I see is Mila is honest. You want her to protect you from bad ladies yet at the same time she has to be honest to ladies too. Without honesty a real relationship can never develop.
It is not the ad campaign as to why things failed. It is the person behind the campaign as to why it failed. 38 to 48 beautiful Women are were not interested in Meeting a 64 year old Man.
If anything Mila helped to save your trip some. While you want to put her services down you should be thanking her for the fact she went out of her way to find others outside of the ad campaign to meet with you.
Interesting how you also say the best ladies you met Mila found for you.

You went to Ukraine and expected to have meetings with many much younger and beautiful Women. You were the product to attract these younger beautiful Women.
The ladies weren't buying. To you now it is someone else's fault even thought this person went far beyond their service to at least make sure you met someone.

If I were Mila I would not come here and explain myself. It is very clear to anyone reading this.

You want to know why you had a date with a 34 year old and with a Woman you want to call Obese?
Because they were the only ones who actually answered your ad.

If she did not let you meet them then you would have had no dates from your ad campaign and would have been here complaining how you spent so much money on a trip and met no one.

CC. Wake Up. If Mila had done exactly what you wanted. Did not go the extra mile for you to find other ladies, you would have met no one during your month trip. You should be thankful and you should have paid her properly for her services.

I think you need to start over and go back to the beginning. By the beginning I also mean learning some respect for Women before you proceed. At this point you have none. Women are not an object you posses. They are not going to come with a little brass plaque saying ""CC's Trophy Wife".

I think you owe Mila a big apology. Putting all blame on her for your failure says more about your character then you realize. Once again with your attitude, your journey will never be more then looking with more complaining threads for the rest of us to read.

Respectfully Yours
Peyton Manning
Monday NIGHT Football.

[Shadow]

I didn't ask Mila to be a matcmaker but I did ask her not to arrange meetings with women who were obviously women I wouldn't be interested in OR women who would not be interested in me.  That was the agreement, plain and simple. 

If a woman replies on the ad, she is interested. If she remains interested after meeting you, that is something you can not predict or make an agreement on.
To expect a lineup of beauty queens who are competing for the right of becoming your wife is unrealistic. at least, and will lead to a failed trip at best.

[Faux Pas]

So, I can be critisized and judged as being a bad guy, but the fact remains that what Mila and I had discussed and how the ad campign would be conducted is not what happened.  The PeopleNet, cooking items, and a few other things were irritants.  They just added fuel to the already very hot fire.  So, again, I would like for Mila to answer my questions.  Mila sent me an e-mail stating she had done many things wrong because, basically she did not have the experience working with an older man staying for a month. 

I can accept this

and Mila's honesty and integrity was never an issue, just her lack of experience.  But she also asked me not to submit my trip report.  By the time I received her e-mail, the report was already submitted.

CC, you had a bad business experience with Mila. It would seem to me that she dropped the ball on this one. She didn't provide what you say you clearly requested. Apparently she doesn't wish to give her POV. It doesn't mean Mila is a bad person or her integrity is in question. It's a blemish and was bound to happen eventually as she seems to garner a good bit of business from RWD members. It's a shame that her inexperience has cost you the majority of your trip but that was a gamble you took when you didn't have or enact some sort of back up plan.

I hope Mila understands this is a forum where experiences are posted in trip reports, the good along with the bad.  Mila has had many, many positive posts from other clients.  But is it right and fair to RWD members to post only the positive?  I think my experience is a lesson for everyone that even with the best planning and the best intentions, things go wrong.  I placed too much of my fate in Mila's hands rather than approving the ad and making sure Mila could tell me more about the woman before meeting.  Basically, I relied on her good reputation and felt that we had an understanding of how things were going to proceed based on e-mails and conversations on Skype.

Absolutely not. Both negative and positive experiences should freely be posted. You've invited her to tell her side. Not that it was necessary as she is a member too. She knows how it works. Your story is a valuable learning experience for all of us, you and Mila included. Your TR is a benefit to the forum and I again thank you for posting it.

Despite my unsatisfactory experience, I would still recommend Mila because inexperience is not the same as someone who is dishonest or someone who works only for the money...and whatever it takes to obtain it.  Mistakes were made, but mistakes are made, that's life.  Mila is going to be an even better person to work with because this was a learning lesson for her as well.  This was about a business experience, nothing more.   

           
Okay, now you are flip-flopping. Would you use Mila again on your next trip? Mila is not perfect and I don't think anyone expects her to be, but there is the idea that you want what you pay for. CC, did you get what you paid for? FWIW CC from what I've read you both (Mila and yourself) made mistakes to doom the business deal. She wasn't detailed enough for you and your expectations were too high for her. It's nothing to beat yourselves up over. It happens more often than between to well intended, great people.

[Ravens9273]

I want to ad one point to this thread.

There is a saying "You cannot make everyone happy"

I do not know Mila personally. However after reading this thread I have built respect for her.
I do not feel any part of this is Mila's fault. The purpose of CC's trip was to meet Women. To me the internet and lack of pots and pans in an apartment are minor issues. I have never in my life taken a perfect vacation. However I do not dwell on the little things and enjoy my vacation.

Failure in this case was a given in the beginning.
There are just some people who do not have the attitude, personality, or charm to succeed in a relationship.

I do not know CC however there was enough information given here to show a MAJOR character flaw as to why he will not succeed on this adventure.
CC went on a long rant blaming Mila that she withheld information that one lady was over weight before meeting. That information was withheld on another lady having a 7 year old child.
He also commented on how some Women even made long trips to meet him.

These ladies answered an ad from all over the country. They are not standing in front of Mila. She does not know these ladies. I feel CC expected Mila to do a full background check on everyone as well.

But here is where it says alot about CC. He wrote a long post on how he was not given enough information on these ladies, and at the same time is complaining too much information was given to the ladies about himself.
Come On.
Thats a double standard.

He wants every single detail about a lady before meeting but yet feels they do not have the right to know him, his age, etc....But even worse he blames Mila because a lady held back information about themselves.

What I read is a Man who expected Mila to be at his beck and call for a whole Month.
"I called her for this. I called her for that. She was running late"
Then he stiffs her on the bill at the end of the month.

I am not going to say his trip was perfect. I am not going to say mistakes were not made. In fact I am not going to go into the trip at all.
My point is this.

What CC has shown is,

He has a bad attitude
His character is horrible
He has the "I am master of the Universe" complex towards Women.

The person CC is alone is a receipt for failure.
Yet in his eyes. It is everyone else's fault.

He does not have the first clue of dating.
He paid so therefore he demands results and a Russian Wife.
Somewhere he forgot that he still has to be a Gentleman in front of these ladies to which they would want to be around him.

Someone please explain to this Man. Mail Order Brides do not exist.