expressing my disappointment!!!!!!!

[Aloe]

i would like to express my extreme disappointment, disdain and unhappiness with the ugly system that makes marriage the only means for being together, this is just ridiculous !!!!!!!!! i really wanna be with my fiance and marry him, but we can't freaking afford it, so i can't have a wedding dress, i wish we could be together without marrying until we could afford an actual wedding. assholes lawmakers. and now im' gonna go and cry !!!!!!!!!!!
i shouldn't have tried it on, didn't know it would make me so upset

[ConnerVT]

You're not going to like this post.

If affording a wedding in Russia (which is generally much less expensive than in other places in the West) is a problem, how do you expect to afford beginning a new life in another country?

[Mishenka]

Aloe, Dorogaya,Ti takaya krasivaya, ochen krasivaya! You look absolutely stunning in this dress! This style fits you perfectly.

I am missing some information here, if your fiance' is asking you to marry him, it is he that should pay for all expenses. The dress is beautiful, you should send the photos to him and let him see how gorgeous you look in it. Believe me, he will find the money from some place. Best of luck in your future.
Mishenka

[Dave13]

Aloe. you look great in that beautiful wedding dress. My wife purchased her wedding dress in Tver, its was $400 a beautiful dress the same type in the U.S. would have been close to $1000, but the most important reason was it allowed her Mother to take part in the selection. Weddings here can be very expensive but with some work you can really save, limit the size, what type of food and drinks maybe have some friends help out with perparing the dinner. Instread or renting a place maybe have it at someone's home.

Best of Luck Dave

[GoodOlBoy]

Aloe. you look great in that beautiful wedding dress. My wife purchased her wedding dress in Tver, its was $400 a beautiful dress the same type in the U.S. would have been close to $1000, but the most important reason was it allowed her Mother to take part in the selection.

Ditto!!

Aloe...You do look great. 

My wife purchased her wedding dress in Siberia for less than half the cost here in the GoodOl' USA.

And of course.......Mom helped with the selection!! 

I am concerned about your post.

Maybe I am misreading it, BUT.......Your fiancee has a lot more expenses coming AFTER you arrive to the GoodOl' USA than a wedding dress....A LOT MORE!!

You cannot do this on "the cheap" (bring a RW to the USA).

I sincerely hope he has the money? 


GOB

[Ade]

i would like to express my extreme disappointment, disdain and unhappiness with the ugly system that makes marriage the only means for being together, this is just ridiculous !!!!!!!!! i really wanna be with my fiance and marry him, but we can't freaking afford it, so i can't have a wedding dress, i wish we could be together without marrying until we could afford an actual wedding. *snip*s lawmakers. and now im' gonna go and cry !!!!!!!!!!!
i shouldn't have tried it on, didn't know it would make me so upset

Like the others I find it a little strange that he couldn't afford a dress or is it that you would like a huge, expensive wedding with all the trimmings and can't afford that?

Why not do it on the cheap and just sign your names in a registry office and save for a big wedding later?

[Blues Fairy]

i wish we could be together without marrying until we could afford an actual wedding.

And then you'll cry that you two cannot afford to buy a house, and send kids to school, and travel home every year?
I think not being able to afford the dress is the least of your troubles.

BTW, marriage license and other basic fees will not exceed $100 in most states.  Go to the courthouse and be done with it; you can have a more elaborate wedding later on when you can afford it.  
Sorry for the "tough love", Aloe.  

[SANDRO43]

IINM and IIRC, Aloe's fiancé is Belgian, therefore any info/tips about US weddings are not overly relevant .

[Ade]

IINM and IIRC, Aloe's fiancé is Belgian, therefore any info/tips about US weddings are not overly relevant .

But the marriage fees there are relatively inexpensive there too I guess. It's all the rest of the pomp and ceremony that costs the big $$$.

[ECOCKS]

Her future husband is Belgian, NOT American.

[Sculpto]

Aloe..
First of all the dress is stunning. 

Second.. like everyone else said.. the wedding is the less expensive part.

I know both of you are relatively young, but, maybe you should consider some other way to be together besides marriage?  Just for now I mean.

Can you get student visa?  Can he come in Russia?  Patience is really important.. try to have some! 

[krimster]

They that sow in tears, shall reap with joy

[Blues Fairy]

IINM and IIRC, Aloe's fiancé is Belgian, therefore any info/tips about US weddings are not overly relevant .

Oops, my bad. 
But it doesn't change the substance.

[Daveman]

If you guys thought my rants about De Beers were over the top, you should hear me really get going about the absolute rip-off and absurdity of weddings.  This will be only some snippets and I'll really try to contain myself.

Aloe, I agree with Blues Fairy completely here. Forget the elaborate wedding.. get married in a simple ceremony.  And if you want, have a more elaborate ceremony later (though I think that is completely unnecessary as well). Marriage isn't about a wedding (or weeding). It's solely about the love you share with your man, and taking that relationship commitment to a higher level.  

A big problem here in USA, and especially with the younger crowd is that they begin their married life with thousands of dollars of debt from a wedding that in the grand scheme of things is absolutely irrelevant and a complete waste of money (not to mention ridiculous pressure and angst for something that really is worthless in the big picture).  

Get married in a simple ceremony, and take a wonderful trip somewhere together.  Celebrate your love together.  Use that money which would have been wasted on a wedding to begin your life together.  Don't buy into the hype and commercialization of the people who want to SELL you wedding services.  It's a scam, plain and simple.  

Good luck!
Dave

[GoodOlBoy]

IINM and IIRC, Aloe's fiancé is Belgian, therefore any info/tips about US weddings are not overly relevant .

But it doesn't change the substance.

Sorry, I didn't see her post about Belgium.

Is everything in Belgium free (houses, cars, education, etc.)........with the exception of a wedding dress?


GOB

[Gator]

i would like to express my extreme disappointment, disdain and unhappiness with the ugly system that makes marriage the only means for being together, this is just ridiculous !!!!!!!!! i really wanna be with my fiance and marry him, but we can't freaking afford it, so i can't have a wedding dress, i wish we could be together without marrying until we could afford an actual wedding. *snip*s lawmakers. and now im' gonna go and cry !!!!!!!!!!!
i shouldn't have tried it on, didn't know it would make me so upset

This raises two questions:  Whether to have a big wedding? XXXXXXXX

In America, many young couples forgo the big wedding.  I would think Europe is even more this way.   Instead of a wedding, some young couples accept money from the bride's father who by tradition would have paid for the wedding.  Usually the most difficult person to convince not to have a wedding is the bride's mother. You can still afford a lovely dress that you can wear elsewhere.

XXXXXXXXX

[Edited to delete second question, which was sticking my nose into someone's personal affairs]
 

[Sculpto]

Aloe, at risk of sounding like a smart ass.. do you know what a sewing machine is?

I don't know how it is in Russia.. but in Mexico sewing is considered a basic skill for women.  A woman who can't sew is considered a bad or lazy woman.

[SANDRO43]

Aloe, at risk of sounding like a smart ass.. do you know what a sewing machine is? I don't know how it is in Russia.. but in Mexico sewing is considered a basic skill for women. A woman who can't sew is considered a bad or lazy woman.

Eric, a wedding dress is not that simple to sew, I doubt even a Mexican woman could do that and turn out an acceptable ceremonial product.

Many years ago I used to know a renowned wedding-dress maker from nearby Monza, he eventually moved up first to Prêt-à-Porter, then to Haute Couture (http://www.lorenzoriva.it/homepage_en.html) .

[Ravens9273]

I have been waiting to see if Aloe responded to others posts to answer questions on who was paying for wedding.
Before a good response could be given I think know the nature of where funds were coming from makes a big difference.
I know in many cases it is tradition for brides family to pay for wedding. I do not know if this is what Aloe is refering to that her family could not afford wedding or if in fact her fiance could not afford the wedding.
If it is family isue not being able to buy dress then Aloe you should mention this to your fiance. I am sure he will have no problem paying for a dress.
If he also cannot afford this then like others mentioned you have alot more bigger problems ahead. The main one could be the petition of suport. I know he is not from USA but I am sure the process is still similar in many ways and he will still have to show he can suport you to bring you to his country.
It may not be what you want to hear but you may be in for more troubles then you think.
I know it stinks but this is reality to marrying outside your own country.

However. I will tell you. My wife and I planned big fancy wedding in Jamaica. Long story short you will be amazed at how a fancy wedding can be ruined when an airline looses the brides bags that contain all her clothes, makeup and wedding dress.
At that point my wife was not in mood for big fancy wedding. She only had clothes she wore for the trip. We  bought a few things in town but wearing Bob Marley T shirts everyday is not fun either.

Our big fancy wedding and reception turned into a simple cerimony in Jeans and flip flop sandals. My wife could not even properly do her hair and makeup.

We planned to do another wedding so she could wear her dress. The other day she said she did not want another wedding. She said our first was perfect and she would not change a thing.

Reguardless as to what happened. I would not change a thing either. my wife wore jeans and a t shirt. She was still very beautiful and I had a chance to look into her eyes and say "I DO" to make her my wife.
Truth is. No other wedding could ever replace it.
We do not need a big fancy wedding to tell us we are married. Our love tells we are.

[Daveman]

Aloe, at risk of sounding like a smart ass.. do you know what a sewing machine is?

I don't know how it is in Russia.. but in Mexico sewing is considered a basic skill for women.  A woman who can't sew is considered a bad or lazy woman.

hahaha, what was that? a drive-by smartassing?

Sandro's comments about design and intricate complexities are valid and for all but the most highly skilled, I'd say prohibitive.

My mother was the Queen of sewing, and my sister is completely in a world of her own, taking what she learned from Mom into a whole different realm, truly gifted and talented.... I asked her why she didn't design and make wedding dresses with how expensive they are (she makes money designing and making many other items). Her answer was simply "Too much of a royal pain in the ass" -- yes, as you can see, she's slightly more eloquent and less straight forward than myself.  

Besides, it just really wouldn't be fair/right/whateverTheWord, IMO, for a lady to have to make her own dress.. but maybe that's just me.

[Sculpto]

Eric, a wedding dress is not that simple to sew, I doubt even a Mexican woman could do that and turn out an acceptable ceremonial product.

Many years ago I used to know a renowned wedding-dress maker from nearby Monza, he eventually moved up first to Prêt-à-Porter, then to Haute Couture (http://www.lorenzoriva.it/homepage_en.html) .

Sandro,
I know.  My post was 50% teasing, but, 50% real.  The wedding dress industry in Mexico is HUGE.  there is a street in DF I call wedding dress store street.  it goes on for at least 30 blocks and literally every business is a shop selling wedding dresses and paraphenalia.. and i mean big city blocks.. the closer to the center the higher cost of the stores and the better the fashions.. further out things get simpler and cheaper..

But, Aloe has time on her hands.. and she is smart and talented.. I bet she could do it.  That is not teasing..

[Sculpto]

Ravens.. that actually sounds awesome..

I once had a client.. a very well known hollywood producer, he was 70, wife to be was 36.. they got married naked upriver on the amazon by a shaman.  BTW.. that was over 10 years ago.. they are still married..

[SANDRO43]

But, Aloe has time on her hands.. and she is smart and talented.. I bet she could do it.  That is not teasing..

She said she wants to resume piano playing, too. Anybody with ideas on how to attach a keyboard to a sewing machine, and obtain good results from both ?

[Sculpto]

She said she wants to resume piano playing, too. Anybody with ideas on how to attach a keyboard to a sewing machine, and obtain good results from both ?

I can do it but only if I get to build in a flame thrower that shoots out flame every time she hits a "C", or, does a zigzag stitch. 

[SANDRO43]

I can do it but only if I get to build in a flame thrower that shoots out flame every time she hits a "C", or, does a zigzag stitch. 

Your obsession with fire will soon reduce you to a cinder-Ella, if you don't wear asbestos underwear .