She came here on our first meeting

[JamesDH]

Those are a lot of mays and mights. Again, my point is simple: why would you want to be with someone that is not the complete package in the hopes that you may come to be attracted to her and that she might one day be attracted to you? It would make much more sense, IMHO, to look for a woman who is attracted to you and a wonderful partner and a woman that you are attracted to as a woman.

Been there, done that.

I want it all and I'll get it.

[mies]

that's the way to go.
You will also do great favor for a woman who fell for you, if you do not take your time figuring whether you like her, and just cut it and let her meet a man who will like her both physically and emotionally.

[Misha]

Misha, I am sorry, but you missed the key message of my post. I wrote that feeling of emotional and personal comfort in my opinion is no less important ground for relationship than lust without feeling of emotional comfort.
I do not suggest that James should marry this woman.

We are in complete agreement. My point always was that one should look for someone that provides you both emotional and personal comfort as well as attraction. I do not believe it is good to sacrifice either. You may call it lust if you will, but I believe that attraction and passion (i.e. lust) are important to a marriage. Besides, would a woman want a man who does not consider her truly the most beautiful woman on earth? Would a man want a woman who does not find him the must stunning man that she could find? Some may be willing to make that compromise, but that is not something that I wanted to even consider.

Also, I believe there is a danger when one tries to rationalize too much and one does not listen to one's intuition. You will end up convincing yourself that you will over time come to love her (or him) or you will over time be attracted to her (or him) or that over time all the problems will go away and you will be the most wonderful couple. In most cases, these will lead to a horrific train wreck IMHO.

[Misha]

You will also do great favor for a woman who fell for you, if you do not take your time figuring whether you like her, and just cut it and let her meet a man who will like her both physically and emotionally.