She came here on our first meeting

[JamesDH]

   About 2 months ago I shut down my account at Match.com and pulled my profile from Yahoo personals. I had enough of the online dating scene and was going to just be mate-less for a while.
It started when one woman I contacted showed up at my door at 10am Saturday morning unannounced even before we had met. I'm thinking "Ok that's just weird".
A few days later I was surfing the net and stumbled on Russian Women Personals (don't remember exactly how). Not sure what I was thinking but I made a profile and looked thru women my age.
I messaged a few and got replies. Some felt like scams with their form letters and very impersonal replies. A few felt like I was talking to a real person. One day I was contacted by a woman. Her message was different. She wrote in nice english and had a smooth, sweet tone to the message. I replied and we started emailing back and forth thru the service. Eventually we hit the 15 paid message mark and I was given her personal information. Now I could email her thru a regular email account and we emailed a few times then I called her. We had a wonderful conversation. She spoke great english and understood me well.

  Some back ground on me. I've lived overseas quite a bit including Africa, Ireland, Canary Islands, Columbia, Peru and Iran. Mostly during my growing up years from 10 till I graduated high school. So I have dealt with people whose native language is not English and feel I can communicate pretty well with them. I've never had much trouble getting my point across. Right now I work for a major oil company and my job is in Africa presently. I work 4 weeks there and get 4 weeks home.

  Soon after the phone conversation I asked about a meeting and she said she had an American visa that she thought was good until the end of June and we agreed that it would be best for her to come here. The funny thing was I was supposed to leave for Africa before the phone call was made but there was a problem with my visa and I was going to have to stay home a few weeks longer than normal. The pieces fell together too easy. I got her a ticket for the next Saturday.

  We emailed back and forth and the excitement grew. A few more phone calls and it was Saturday. Time to head to the airport.

  Before I made the decision to buy her a ticket I found this site and joined up. I posted in the Intro section and asked for advice on whether to get the ticket or not. A lot of helpful advice was given and one pointed me to the Ten Commandments. I went thru those looking for red flags and found a couple. The biggest being #8 Do not rush into this! Take your time and be methodical, not impulsive, about this process. How much more rushed could you get? It was less than 2 weeks from our first message until the ticket was purchased!!

  Taking in all the advice and all the messages and phone calls I made the decision. She just seemed too warm and real on the phone to not trust her.

  So here I am at the airport waiting on her flight to arrive. Due to all the new security BS I can only meet her in the baggage claim area. Great I'm thinking.. there will be thousands of people in baggage claim and I'm supposed to find her? My fears were erased when I arrived in the baggage claim area because there were only about 6 people there! I found the flight on the board and went to that station to wait. I soon grew bored and started wandering around. Then I got worried because the flight number on the board didn't match the one on the itinerary so I asked. Sure that's the one and they will be coming down that escalator as she pointed to the left. I decided to patrol the area and see if I could spot her coming down. Sure enough a few minutes later there she was.

  My first impression was "she's more attractive than her picture". She was tall and slender, blonde hair, blue eyes and dainty features. I walked closer and called her name. She turned my way and called my name. I wanted to hug her but something stopped me. What stopped me? I've thought that thru and feel it's the accumulated emotional grief I've suffered in my dating life over the past year or two. I'm like "protect your self" now instead of let it all hang out and go for broke.

  Off we go. I grab her bags and escort her to my truck, open the door for her and put her bag in the back seat. I noticed her bag was very light and wondered to myself "is she poor and can't afford clothes?", "did she pack light because it's hot here?". We left the parking garage and were driving down the freeway when I asked if she was hungry or thirsty. She said she was hungry and I asked what she wanted. She replied immediately "Hamburger!!" OK.. It's 1am and most everything is going to be closed. I found a Jack in the Box and asked if that was OK. She said she had never eaten there but it looked OK. I ordered her a burger, fries and orange juice. We drove across the street to Walmart parking lot to eat as we were going to go grocery shopping before getting home. The story behind that is that I just moved into my house and didn't have a fridge until about two days ago and there was nothing in it except milk and soft drinks so we needed to stop and get food. "OK" she said "that's OK with me".
We loaded up on food and snacks and headed home.

  That night was just showing her the house and where everything was and letting her call home to talk to family and let them know she made it. Then it was off to bed. I had an air mattress in the spare bedroom and let her use my bed and bathroom. I passed out immediately as it was about 3am. The next day I'm up around 9am making coffee and doing stuff. She comes out of the room around 1pm dressed and ready to go. I fixed her breakfast which was ham, cheese and wheat bread, dry, with hot tea. Seemed normal enough to me.

  She was very polite and dainty. We talked of this and that until she was finished then we left to go explore Houston. In other words.. shop till I drop.
  The woman is a shopping machine. We went to Dillards, Macys, JC Pennys, every shoe store known to man and finally Walmarts. Several Walmarts. Typically I go in, get what I want and get out. She picks up one pair of jeans, turns them inside out and goes over every seam then turns them right side out and goes over every seam then puts them back on the hanger and goes to the next pair. I bet we handled 20 pair of jeans before she found a pair she liked. She kept saying "cheap, so cheap" because they were on sale for $29.

  When I first saw her in the airport I thought to myself "I can't imagine myself kissing her". Why? No idea. Just didn't seem like something I wanted to do. Not because of her looks or anything. just didn't feel the "pull" if you know what I mean. I've never been attracted to skinny women and have preferred some meat on the bones, curvy so to speak.  So maybe that was it. Too skinny. Who knows how the mind works?

  One day turned into the next with shopping and more shopping. Finally I said let's go do something besides shopping so off we went to Brazos Bend State Park. I packed a lunch in the cooler and made sure she dressed comfy as it was  going to be warm. We got there and it was beautiful. Lush and green with wild life everywhere. We took picture after picture of deer, rabbits, squirrels and of course... alligators. Big ones that were laying on the pathway and made us skirt the path just to keep our distance. She was very excited and we both enjoyed it. I thought of holding her hand but again something kept me from it. Was it her? Did she like me? I think she did as we flirted plenty and had no problem talking to each other. I did not feel she was regretting the trip and I wasn't either.
When we got home she helped me put some tables together that I had picked up from IKEA and we put them in the room with the fresh paint and new floor (yes the floor was done before she got there!). I set up a couple of computers and we spent the rest of the evening and night surfing the net. The woman wanted to download everything! I gave her a 16gb USB and she went crazy downloading. She was like a kid in a candy store. I got a kick out of it because she was so excited with broadband internet. "Look. only 20 seconds left on this download" like it was a miracle or something.
Another thing we had in common. She is very interested in computers. She watched me with eagle eyes as I put a new system together, asking question after question.

  Well before this turns into some kind of book or something..
  After about 5 days here a certain tension started to develop between us. She got more demanding and I got less patient. She called me "crazy American" and I called her "crazy Russian". I became less polite to her and she became more withdrawn.
  I had scheduled a meeting with my family on Saturday. We were going to cook out and swim in the pool. I called and canceled it saying that we had hit a bump in the road and things weren't going so well. They understood and wished us well.
I refused to take her shopping and spent my time working around the house. I was having a new fence put up due to hurricane Ike so spent time outside helping and talking with the fence guy. She was on the internet downloading again. For dinner I called pizza.
Sunday morning I got up around 9am after staying up till 2am as her schedule was not adjusted to the US yet. I got busy working in the kitchen and made plenty of noise. She came out around 11am and had her usual sandwich.. this time with salmon we had purchased a few days before. It smelled lovely and she really liked it. While she was eating I decided to go to my family anyway. I needed to talk to my nephew about his first photo shoot and I wanted to pick up a package that had been there for days. When we got there my family all hugged me as usual then they hugged her too. She seemed reluctant and only hugged with one arm which I took as a bad sign. Well around my family you can't be shy and they soon piled on her, talking her ear off and surrounding her with kids and dogs. I turned to my nephew and left her with the two women and all the kids & dogs. After an hour or so I felt it was time to head out. We all said good byes and hugs all around.

  Soon after that I noticed something different. We were driving along headed back to the house when she started talking. She talked about this and that and seemed quite happy. After getting back to the house I noticed she was flirting with me again. this time it was different. I felt glad and flirted back. We touched and brushed against each other then our eyes met and locked. I felt a strong urge to kiss her all the sudden. My mind raced.. "what if I kissed her and she rejected me? How would we make it thru the rest of her time here? It would be very uncomfortable." I was having a hard time reading her. Yes she was flirting with me but what are her customs? How did they do it? Is this just innocent flirting or is she feeling something for me? How to know when is the right time to "make a move"? I just couldn't read her with enough confidence to make the move and did I feel something for her or was this just hormones talking? I had not thought of her in a sexual way so I don't feel it was hormones but I was definitely feeling something.
Main thing is something snapped and the whole mood changed for the better.

  The next day was more shopping only this time there was more flirting involved. I wasn't laying it on thick but I kept up with her and the day went by nicely. The woman can shop that's no lie. For dinner I wanted some beef so suggested we go to a steak house. She agreed and off we went to Saltgrass. She devoured the Caesar salad and the 12oz ribeye. I have to admit they were good. We touched, we talked and we flirted. It was a good evening.

  Her last full day here. Shopping.. more shopping. We went to Costco, Academy, Walmart, Target, Ross and REI. She bought shoes, pants, shirts and socks. I bought her a few pants and some shirts at Academy. She said "don't spoil me" but didn't put up any fight so..
I asked what she wanted to eat since it was her last night and she said she wanted Caesar salad again so we went to Saltgrass again. This time it was burgers with salad. We took pictures on the way out and headed home.
That night was different. We got home and got settled in and the usual flirting, name calling and eye contact. Then she called home and talked with her mother. When she finished that she came back and no more flirting. No joking.. serious and quiet. Around midnight she said good night and that was that. (her job had called and wanted her back and were upset that she was not there to take care of business)

  Last day.. She came out around 11am again. I made coffee (the significance of that is that I have a commercial quality espresso machine, large grinder and take espresso as an art form so when I say I made coffee it means I measured the beans, ground them, packed them down and pulled an espresso shot that makes Starbucks taste like instant) We ate some breakfast. I had toast and jam, she had salmon and cheese on wheat. We sat in silence. Looking at each other. After breakfast we went about cleaning etc.. she went to check her email and I took out the trash and cleaned the table. I went in to the computer room and we had idle chit chat. She did something and I asked why she was laughing at me and I swear I heard her say "because I love you". I didn't react to the comment but inside I felt very strange. My mind raced again... does she love me or does she just want to live in the US? (not quite that cut and dried but that's the jist of it) What about me? Did I feel something for her? Yes.. it had been growing since Sunday and I was very attracted to her but it wasn't a lusty attraction it was something else. Then is when I started to get this lump in my throat. Ooops. Now I've done it. I've let myself get attached to her.
Dang it. What was it about her that attracted me to her? She was sweet and dainty and womanly. She had a cute way about her and I liked the way she carried herself. She was always caring and saw beauty in the same things I did. There was no conflicts. She was easy going but not afraid to speak her mind. We had very similar tastes, very similar views on life and very similar habits. I looked into those big blue eyes and knew that it was going to be tough at the airport. In fact it was already tough. I couldn't get rid of that lump. Now I couldn't say what I wanted to say. That morning she said she wanted to talk about us but I said I needed one more cup of coffee before any serious talk. We never talked about us and now I knew I couldn't.

  The drive to the airport was silent. I could see her eyes were red and she made the excuse that her nose was bothering her but I could see a tear every once in a while. I wasn't much better. It was all I could do to hold back. I thought "why didn't you kiss her?", "why didn't you take the first move like you're supposed to do?". I couldn't come up with anything except that I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable if things went bad.
We pulled up in front of the terminal and I helped her with her bags. At the door we were saying good byes and my brain was disconnected. It had to be to keep back the tears. We hugged.. a good, strong, warm hug. She said "email me" about 50 times and I assured her I would about 50 times. We pulled away and she fumbled with her passport and ticket. I hugged her again. Longer and stronger and I felt it deep inside. She hugged me tight and didn't want to let go but after a bit she did and as she did I kissed her. She kissed me back and immediately I knew. I knew she meant it when she said she loved me and I realized that I loved her.

I felt it in her kiss, I saw it in her eyes and I felt it in my heart.

To be continued...

[Daveman]

I enjoyed reading your story James, glad she did show up.  Definitely a unique and interesting read.   I have a few comments that I'll hold for a bit.

She did probably wonder why you didn't put a move on her.  That could very well have been the reason for the "tension" you felt on about day 5.  My guess is that she felt that to be like a rejection, from her perspective.

Definitely shopping is an important activity, eh? 

Anyway, that's all for now.  Thanks for sharing your story. 

[JR]

Very special...

The tension probably came from her feeling rejected. I'm glad the story ends with a kiss. Or should I say it begins with a kiss?

The shopping thing, turning every pair of pants on the rack inside and out is something you'll have to learn to live with. My ex did that too. Something to do with no return policy in the FSU at the time.

I look forward to you putting it to more of us nay-sayers. I hope this does nothing but continue to get better for the two of you.

[Ade]

I enjoyed reading your story James, glad she did show up.  Definitely a unique and interesting read.   I have a few comments that I'll hold for a bit.

She did probably wonder why you didn't put a move on her.  That could very well have been the reason for the "tension" you felt on about day 5.  My guess is that she felt that to be like a rejection, from her perspective.

Definitely shopping is an important activity, eh? 

Anyway, that's all for now.  Thanks for sharing your story. 

I'd agree with Dave and JR; she probably felt a little rejected. I guess being introduced to your family changed that somewhat.

I'm happy that it worked out for you and even if it doesn't go further I can see that you had an interesting time with her.

[Ooooops]

She hugged me tight and didn't want to let go but after a bit she did and as she did I kissed her. She kissed me back and immediately I knew. I knew she meant it when she said she loved me and I realized that I loved her.

I felt it in her kiss, I saw it in her eyes and I felt it in my heart.

Ooooooooh....   

Sorry, just don't buy it...     Too much shopping involved...   Sounds like she came on "челнок" trip...      And wants to come back again....   

[I/O]

James: Love, romance, kisses, it's all nonsense! I want the real scoop, what'd she say about the "completed floor"? Let me guess, she NEVER said you were right and I was wrong did she?

I also want to know the date and flight number of your ticket to pay her the return visit. If you haven't already booked it you need your arse severely kicking.

Oooops, totally disagree. This is a carbon copy of Mrs I/O and I. Too much so to be true actually. Yeah she still likes shopping and still spends her own money so who am I to argue?

I/O

[Ooooops]

Oooops, totally disagree.

I/O, I like shopping too, trust me.      But here we have a lady, flying across seven seas to be with the Chosen One and instead she spends all her time shopping for bargains at Target???     

[I/O]

I/O, I like shopping too, trust me.      But here we have a lady, flying across seven seas to be with the Chose One and instead she spends all her time shopping for bargains at Target???     

Ooops, I hear you BUT!! What is she supposed to do, step off the plane, walk into his apartment, drop her clobber, jump his bones and be read about here as the slut from hell rather than a shoppaholic?

Just watch this lady get BBQ'd. She can't win. She'll be everything from a visa jockey to a prick teaser by the time this thread is done. BTW, she hasn't done one thing (according to the report) different from Mrs I/O apart from ours played out over a month rather than 5 days and she flew 9 seas.

I/O

[Shadow]

Great read and very interesting story. I am sure that she found you a bit slow in making the move.
But now we get to the decision part. You felt she loves you, but how do you feel ?

[Ooooops]

What is she supposed to do, step off the plane, walk into his apartment, drop her clobber, jump his bones ...

That's what I'd do...   (if I liked what I saw stepping off the plane...)   

[Aloe]

i dunno about other women, but shopping is the last thing id wanna do with a man i liked. now if i didnt like the guy, id go shopping to compensate for a crappy trip, so i get at least something out of it.

[I/O]

That's what I'd do

One of the two types of girls every single guy needs at any one time, a good girl to court and another girl to date.

id go shopping to compensate for a crappy trip

LOL, Mrs I/O's been having an awful "crappy trip" for about 27 years. Musta been a real low point today, she turned up home with armfuls...............

I/O

[facetrock]

    Shopping is hard wired into a womans DNA. I have three daughters and if I tossed them my wallet and told them to go shopping I would not see them for the rest of the year. It might have something to do with nesting or some ancient urge like that. I helped my oldest move to a different apartment last weekend. Box after box of clothes and I know damn well she has never worn half of them.
    Its funny how she thinks buying cheap pictures from Walmart to hang on the walls is just fine but has thousands and thousands of dollars worth of clothes.
    I think your lady was worried about rejection since it took you a while to warm up. I think if you would have warmed up earlier you both would have found other things to do

[Ooooops]

One of the two types of girls every single guy needs at any one time, a good girl to court and another girl to date.

There is a Russian joke about a guy trying to choose a wife between smart woman, pretty woman and family oriented woman.   And he chose the one with bigger boobs...   

[I/O]

smart woman, pretty woman and family oriented woman.   And he chose the one with bigger boobs.

Of course!! That would automatically give him all of the aforementioned 3 plus. 

Anyway, before we side track James lovely thread too much with this BS, the point I wanted to make and I understand everyone will see it differently was this. My wife an I brushed shoulders many years ago, a couple of years later we hooked up via an introduction site and eventually, after months and months of my mucking around, procrastinating and generally being a PITA, we had a collective brain fart and she came to meet me. What was the risk for me? Zip to zero. What was the risk for her? Massive whichever way you look at it and I recall the emotional roller coaster she went through after actually arriving and going through the "Oh Sch!t this is happening" thing. James story is all but word for word. I see no losses for them in what has happened.

The knives will point at the lady no matter what he tells or doesn't tell, she should've slept with him, she shouldn't have slept with him, she shouldv'e gone shopping, she shouldn't have etc etc. She is on a hiding to nothing and IMO that AIN'T FAIR. From what we are told, this lady has stuck to her word every inch of the way without a single blemish. This lady appears to have rolled a serious dice in search of love and I am (at this stage) prepared to give her credit for that. Is this a route others should deliberately take? Absolutely NOT, but in some circumstances the strangest twist of events can produce the strangest results. They are big kids, let 'em do their thing.

Right now they will both be lost in nostalgic navel gazing and neither of them will come up with any definitive answers until they spend more time together, hence my advice to James to get his cotton pickin' butt over there to visit her pronto. None of that should prevent him from conducting due diligence as did I at the time. Just get it happening and get a result whichever way that happens to turn out.

James, if this all amounts to anything serious, it will be quite some time before you realise the enormity of what has just happened. You simply have no idea of how tough this is going to be for both of you if it progresses well. All the best to you both, you are both stark raving mad but neither of you have done anything wrong IMO. It will be especially interesting for me to hear how this pans out. Thanks for sharing.

I/O 

[GoodOlBoy]

A good story James DH.

WOW...A very unique post (FSU lady comes to the GoodOl'USA to meet an AM).

Any pictures?

I would give my Right Arm if your lady would post a TR on RWD about her experiences and impressions! 

I really don't mean to criticize you JamesDH, BUT....You should have kissed her A LOT sooner.  :evil:

Every FSU woman I ever met expects the man to take the lead in the relationship.

I also noticed that the FSU ladies that I have met are nothing like the "aggressive" AW I have known in the past, BUT....Once an FSU lady "warms up".....watch out!!.

Go see her soon guy......DON'T WAIT!!

The more time you spend with her....the better.

Good Luck!


GOB

[SMS60]

James

Its good you enjoyed your vacation and had a wonderful time.

Protect your heart for the moment on this one. Go with the flow. Let things play out. Dont get caught up with infactuation. You have plenty of time to get to know the real her.

My reasons

First, shopping is enjoyed by most women but this is a little much for a first meeting. I find it very strange but thats my opinion. This is not the way a women with a high interest level in you would act. You said you were confused about your reaction towards her. You had questions in your head.

Remember this line: an interested (genuine) women will never confuse a man. If you understand what Im talking about. There are good actors who seem like they are really into you but with these women you always have the feeling something is wrong and cant put your finger on it. ( sound familiar)? This was what was making you hesitant. When you have a women who is genuinely interested you will have no doubt.

Some of your feelings were also coming from her actions. You were doing all the work and giving. Sounds like she was doing all the taking. What did she do special for you? She was not doing things most of the week to give you feelings of someone you wanted to be close to.

When things felt like they were getting better on the last day does not surprise me.
Think of it this way. You been working at a job for a few years with 10 other employees. One day the owner says he is cutting 5 positions. What happens? everyone all of a sudden starts doing their job at 110%. Why. They want to come back to work the next day and not be one of the 5.

She wants to come back for another vacation.

Move forward but stay on your toes. I hope my opinion is wrong. Take your time. Watch your wallet and people eventually reveal themselves.

Have fun!!! is the main thing.

[Ooooops]

The knives will point at the lady no matter what he tells or doesn't tell, she should've slept with him, she shouldn't have slept with him, she shouldv'e gone shopping, she shouldn't have etc etc.

Nope.   Not at all.   Read my and Aloe's posts.      And we have 20 years difference in age between us, so it's a pretty good reference point from many generations.   

PS.   Assuming that lady isn't a scammer, of course.

[Aloe]

LOL, Mrs I/O's been having an awful "crappy trip" for about 27 years. Musta been a real low point today, she turned up home with armfuls...............

I/O

you are missing my point, im talking about a short trip to visit a guy, why would i go shopping instead of getting to know the guy? shopping does not qualify as getting to know each other imo. only if i didnt like the guy, then sure, shop til you drop to get at least something out of it

[Whynot]

James -

Well done buddy!

Your report was really informative and i'm really excited for you!  Do keep us posted on developments.

IMO for a woman to consider you as a potential lover - assuming you tick all her boxes as far as general suitability - you need to start touching her very early on in the piece.  

An incidental touch on the arm, steering her with your hand in the small of her back or other similar moves will help increase her sexual attraction to you.  I do this early on even when i'm not sure about how attracted i am to her.  I won't do it of course if i have no interest in taking things further.

Early touch of one kind or another can send her very clear signals along the lines of 'i want you to consider me as a potential sexual partner' and reduce the risk of getting LJBFd (Lets Just Be Friends).  Once a woman puts you into that category in her mind it is very difficult to get her to change her opinion of you - IMHO!  

If you've got doubts about this - just remember how you feel when a woman 'casually' touches you - they know full well what they are doing ;-)

WN?

[SMS60]

I/O, I like shopping too, trust me.      But here we have a lady, flying across seven seas to be with the Chosen One and instead she spends all her time shopping for bargains at Target???     

Lady, you are crafty and hilarious. . I bet your husband does not have a dull moment.

[Ooooops]

I bet your husband does not have a dull moment.

I bet he'll agree with you.   

[I/O]

so it's a pretty good reference point from many generations. 

Two generations to be precise. Good, in this context is a very subjective word. Let's watch this one play out to see if any "good" reference points exist.

i dunno about other women

Correct.

BTW, I didn't miss your point, I am married to evidence of quite the opposite, therefore your view, correct though it may be for you, is not universal among RW.

I/O

[Faux Pas]

Remember this line: an interested (genuine) women will never confuse a man.

From what he said, it sounds to me like he was confusing her. From his description as limited as it was, I would think she was very much into him and wondering when he was going to make a move, any move. It sounds like he kept her guessing

If you understand what Im talking about. There are good actors who seem like they are really into you but with these women you always have the feeling something is wrong and cant put your finger on it. ( sound familiar)? This was what was making you hesitant. When you have a women who is genuinely interested you will have no doubt.

James let his mind talk him into the abyss. He was too hesitant because of her travel, differences in culture, language, yadda, yadda, yadda. Doesn't seem that the lady was acting at all. The fact that she showed up was an initial sign of her sincerity. Nothing he wrote indicates anything other than she was genuinely interested in him. He had no doubt when he kissed her at the airport and I'd wager he'd had no doubt if he had kissed her when she arrived either. I'd also bet the shopping was probably more instigated by James from lack of planning and he saw the joy she got out of it.

Some of your feelings were also coming from her actions. You were doing all the work and giving. Sounds like she was doing all the taking. What did she do special for you? She was not doing things most of the week to give you feelings of someone you wanted to be close to.

I would say a natural reaction on her part. She had no idea where the borders were so she stayed away from all of them. He was not only the man here, here was the host from his description he set no tone before or during the meeting and he should have. Sounds like she was laying in wait for him to. Some women will discuss that and some women won't. James wasn't even sure if he was attracted to her. He had never been attracted to skinny women. She no doubt picked up on that. With his "failure to launch" in the affection department she was probably pretty damn sure he wasn't interested.



James, I criticized you for being in such a hurry and trying to accompany the visa instead of taking your time and getting to know her before doing the trip. My criticism was sincere but more concerned with the lady being a scammer. She is not a scammer and from what I read of your TR she does care for you.  I feel like if you had known each other a bit longer and a bit better much of your indecisiveness wouldn't even have been an issue.

Enough of that and it's water under the bridge but, if you think you do have deep feelings for this lady, it is way too early for love (IMO) but the time is right to start learning about each other and move it forward to another level. I don't know where in Africa you are working but you are already a helluva lot closer to her from there than in Houston.

Good Luck.

[Aloe]

Two generations to be precise. Good, in this context is a very subjective word. Let's watch this one play out to see if any "good" reference points exist.
Correct.

BTW, I didn't miss your point, I am married to evidence of quite the opposite, therefore your view, correct though it may be for you, is not universal among RW.

I/O

where do you see me say that my view is universal for all women? even the quote you used says that it is NOT universal, so why did you feel the need to rephrase my words?