AW's and Their Freaking "Shopping Lists"

[KraftSport5034]

Gotta get this off of my chest. Look at any singles website out there- from Yahoo Personals, EH, Match.com to Craigslist and your will invariably  find a bunch of AW's ( and these are the 35-45 year olds) who are actively  "shopping" for a man. And, like good little shoppers, they all have their "shopping lists" which include ( and my translation for some of them)

#1 Generous ( you pay for everything when we go out and if we do "hook up" you keep paying my bills)

#2 Tall- I don't get it. Whats with this TALL  B.S.? I'm 5 foot 8, not exactly NBA height but not a candidate for dwarf tossing ether. And most of the tall requests are from gals UNDER 5 foot 3. Go figure. I guess Tall means sexy, rich, and  we short guys are bums!

#3 Hard Working- In other words aren't in danger of getting fired, downsized or similarly scalloped from the ranks of the wage earners so they can still be "Generous" ( see #1)

#4 Interested in ( pick any three)- walking in the rain, long walks on the beach, hiking, bike riding,mountaineering, surfing (how the hell is all of this possible if you consider #7)  going to antique joints and looking at overpriced garbage, wandering around museums, going to fancy restaurants ( and don't forget your Amex Black Card, please) going to the gym,  cooking dinner for me ( the woman), travelling all over the world ( on whose dime, I may ask?) and a million other activities that guys who are....HARD WORKING will never,,, ever have the time for. BTW being a couch potato is equivalent to a serial killer...

#5 Have a Harley Davidson- This is a sneaky one. So in one fell swoop the sneaky AW determines if you have enough scratch for the Hog ( and her, as well) AND if you're Alpha Male enough to ride the Harley on weekends ( after spending 50 hours working at your suit and tie gig! I guess wanting to ride in someones Beemer or Lexus is just  so..last century and all...

#6 In Good Shape- You had better have some abs, delts and pecs, buddy, and not be afraid to yank your shirt off in hot weather...but at the same time...( and this is important)

#7 Accept me for Who I am- a 215 lb tub of jello  with three kids-( but a BBW) , sorta - kinda- semi employed- ( but they love their work) totally independent- like I don't need a man for anything ( except maybe to pay the freight)....But don't worry, I clean up well, but you had BETTER not expect sex for at LEAST three months, dude!

#8 And yes, losers, unemployed dudes, baby-mama drama guys, guys with small kids        ( I really dont get THAT one) need apply

BTW the younger ones are not so picky- they just want some their age that is "cool"to hang  out with and party.

Dont Lets all Answer at Once!!!!

[Gator]

RW have a shopping list too.  In some ways it is more stringent.

[Shadow]

RW will expect you to pay for theme even if you have just flown across the ocean.
The worst thing to be is 'greedy' - means not spending money on them (or 'us' if you make that stage.

But luckily you can brush off anything that you would hate in AW as  cultural differences. 

[groovlstk]

I suspect if you visited Russian dating sites you'd find much of the same if you could read it

[Ranetka]

Gotta get this off of my chest. Look at any singles website out there- from Yahoo Personals, EH, Match.com to Craigslist and your will invariably  find a bunch of AW's ( and these are the 35-45 year olds) who are actively  "shopping" for a man. And, like good little shoppers, they all have their "shopping lists" which include ( and my translation for some of them)

#1 Generous ( you pay for everything when we go out and if we do "hook up" you keep paying my bills)

#2 Tall- I don't get it. Whats with this TALL  B.S.? I'm 5 foot 8, not exactly NBA height but not a candidate for dwarf tossing ether. And most of the tall requests are from gals UNDER 5 foot 3. Go figure. I guess Tall means sexy, rich, and  we short guys are bums!

#3 Hard Working- In other words aren't in danger of getting fired, downsized or similarly scalloped from the ranks of the wage earners so they can still be "Generous" ( see #1)

#4 Interested in ( pick any three)- walking in the rain, long walks on the beach, hiking, bike riding,mountaineering, surfing (how the hell is all of this possible if you consider #7)  going to antique joints and looking at overpriced garbage, wandering around museums, going to fancy restaurants ( and don't forget your Amex Black Card, please) going to the gym,  cooking dinner for me ( the woman), travelling all over the world ( on whose dime, I may ask?) and a million other activities that guys who are....HARD WORKING will never,,, ever have the time for. BTW being a couch potato is equivalent to a serial killer...

#5 Have a Harley Davidson- This is a sneaky one. So in one fell swoop the sneaky AW determines if you have enough scratch for the Hog ( and her, as well) AND if you're Alpha Male enough to ride the Harley on weekends ( after spending 50 hours working at your suit and tie gig! I guess wanting to ride in someones Beemer or Lexus is just  so..last century and all...

#6 In Good Shape- You had better have some abs, delts and pecs, buddy, and not be afraid to yank your shirt off in hot weather...but at the same time...( and this is important)

#7 Accept me for Who I am- a 215 lb tub of jello  with three kids-( but a BBW) , sorta - kinda- semi employed- ( but they love their work) totally independent- like I don't need a man for anything ( except maybe to pay the freight)....But don't worry, I clean up well, but you had BETTER not expect sex for at LEAST three months, dude!

#8 And yes, losers, unemployed dudes, baby-mama drama guys, guys with small kids        ( I really dont get THAT one) need apply

BTW the younger ones are not so picky- they just want some their age that is "cool"to hang  out with and party.

Dont Lets all Answer at Once!!!!

Care to explain what boxes in this shoping list you are not ticking?

[mies]

i prefer small japanese "racers'" motorcycles. 

[GQBlues]

My wife isn't a mall rat, nor does she demand much from our relationship other than few basic provisions. She's very diligent in her spending ways.

But I have never, ever imagined that I can actually depart with as much money as I have for myself, let alone for someone else as I have for my wife. The demands in being in a relationship with any AW in my past isn't anywhere near as demanding with my relationship with my wife, and she's anything but a 'demanding' person.

Be careful and be very informed when choosing the path you may want to trek in the future. The list you have, FWIW, is trivial by comparison.

[Dave13]

My Harley!  

[mies]

cool photo!

[groovlstk]

My wife isn't a mall rat, nor does she demand much from our relationship other than few basic provisions. She's very diligent in her spending ways.

But I have never, ever imagined that I can actually depart with as much money as I have for myself, let alone for someone else as I have for my wife. The demands in being in a relationship with any AW in my past isn't anywhere near as demanding with my relationship with my wife, and she's anything but a 'demanding' person.

Be careful and be very informed when choosing the path you may want to trek in the future. The list you have, FWIW, is trivial by comparison.

Great post, GQ. I absolutely agree.

[JR]

We all have lists and we try to get as much of it as we can.

And if you are 5'8 and she's 5'3, you're tall

[Ooooops]

My Harley! 

Chaps, long hair and Harley...   Not bad, not bad....   

[Aloe]

uh oh thats such a tiny short list, you should go for it, my list had 25 items, and my husband met 24 of them, too bad hes not rich hahahaha

[elliott]

...like good little shoppers, they all have their "shopping lists" which include...

Don't men have the same?  Maybe we don't have a written list with bullet points, but we still have criteria that a woman must meet.

[Ooooops]

Don't men have the same?  Maybe we don't have a written list with bullet points, but we still have criteria that a woman must meet.

And then you meet someone, fall in love and throw all those bullet points out the window...   

[Doll]

Can't see anything bad in this list (OP) except the comments.
RW have  a tougher one- I agree.

[russianfront]

I agree with the OP - local women (in my case Canadian women) are completelty unrealistic in their expectations. I have tried the local dating websites and am shocked at the sky-high expectations. Look in the mirror honey you are not "all that" After being married to a RW for 8 years it is way too easy to re-start my search in FSU.

[groovlstk]

Just my experience, but I've found RW much more demanding than AW, although I never got a bulleted list of items I had to qualify for before dating

And that's the day-to-day stuff - there's a host of other demands related to the fact that she'll be 100% dependent upon you, initially. (This initial period can be years, btw.) In some respects it's like having a child.

[ScottinCrimea]

What I love in those dating profiles is when they list their weight as "average", and then you look at the picture.  I guess they interpret that as meaning that they are half way between what they weighed when they were 20 and what they will weigh a year after they marry you.

Average?  Sure, if you're talking Holsteins!

[kryten41]

I never understood the height requirement--women hovering around 5 feet who insist on a man at least 6 feet tall.  I guess they like the way everything lines up at a certain height. Oh well, one of the great things about internet dating is that you can post what you are looking for.  I understand most of the list.  I have been surprised to see how many middle-aged American women say they are sports fans.

[Lily]

Can't see anything bad in this list (OP) except the comments.
RW have  a tougher one- I agree.

I join the point. On their dating profiles, RW often have the same if not higher 'requirements'.

However, I 'd suggest a different view on this. Many Russians used to regard the society rules, and generally many kinds of seamingly strict written things as something that is not obligatory. In her Russian books she may read, if one faces some strict requirements, one does not have to comply with them but may still be eligible.

Western people tend to think if something is written black on white, then this is rule and must be strictly followed. Russians tend to think that every strict rule has a loophole. Therefore, if a RW has a list of seemingly unreal expectations, they may not necessarily be set in stone, and probably she does not expect a candidate to comply with them all.

[kievstar]

Height thing is advantage for a man in dating and work.  Most of the USA Presidents and motivational speakers are tall.  Athletes in the real sports are tall. 

Tom Cruise is a midget and he does ok.

[Tanner]

For the people who feel the FSU women have higher expectations would I be able to hear some of these expectations?  Are they things like help clean the house, come with me to the store, don't eat doritos it is almost dinner time.  (Things I feel a husband should do anyway, besides the dorito thing... joke  )  Help me to understand... thanks!

[Phil dAmore]

Don't men have the same?  Maybe we don't have a written list with bullet points, but we still have criteria that a woman must meet.

Of course we have lists and requirements.  Men are just a lot more willing to compromise.

You could always take the 'brutally honest' approach, like this guy:

http://phoenix.craigslist.org/wvl/m4w/1218429555.html

[Sculpto]

Tom Cruise is a midget and he does ok.

HAHAHA!  Its true.. they use camera angles to make him look taller.  Once, in 1991.. I was in the "Tornado" in Haight street and Tom was there.. funny thing was no one would talk to him.. he looked short, over dressed and lonely.