New guy saying hello

[Missouri-Hunter]

Hi all,
   I just joined the site at the suggestion of a guy on another site I frequent (not subject related), and I'm hoping to gain some knowledge here to determine whether I'm starting on the right adventure.
   I was born and raised here in Missouri, and I live in a small unincorporated area about forty miles SW of St. Louis. (That's as close as I care to get to a big city). I'm fifty now, I have a son who just turned fourteen, and I had been happily married from 1994 until early 2008 when my wife died suddenly. (She had a genetic connective tissue disorder, and her Aorta burst). This threw me back into trying to figure out how I want to spend the rest of my life, and I know that I don't want to spend it alone.
   I tried a couple dating sites, but nothing there seemed right for me. Most on there seemed more focused on what they have and where they go, where I'm more interested in hunting, shooting, and watching Monster Trucks. (Yeah, even my friends call me a redneck. LOL) I'm disabled with a bad back, and can walk only short distances with a crutch.
   I honestly know very little about finding a foreign bride, but I'd heard that women from the former USSR aren't as hung up on a guy having to be perfect as American women are, so I started searching and asking around. I got on that Anastasia Date site and the AFA site, but I've never replied to anything on AD and only wrote to one lady on AFA because I don't have that much disposable income. The guy I mentioned who suggested coming here is on one of the hunting/firearms sites I frequent, and he recently married a lady from Russia or Ukraine. (I can't remember which).
  I read a few threads posting this, and I see already that I have much to learn. I hope I've come to the right place to do so. 

[Wraith]

Welcome to the Boards, bro. Getting a nice little influx of MO based folks. Feel free to contact me by PM or dmcgraw (he lives in St. Louis, I in KCMO).

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Put your thick skin on (folks here are very opinionated) and enjoy yourself as there is plenty of information to be had here.

[Missouri-Hunter]

Thanks Wraith. I've been on UBB boards since I got my first computer in 2000, so no problem with thin skin here. I'm just waiting until I know people before I jump into the political stuff. 

[Wraith]

Good deal. I am sure you will get plenty of advice regarding how you search as well since you are treading unfamiliar territory in looking for a foreign bride. Some will advocate using free sites, some agencies, and some both, maybe some none at all but the main purpose is to educate yourself here though. One person's experience may not be yours but as long as you think you will do fine.

Be certain to check out the fabled 10 Commandments. They are great guidelines.

[BC]

Welcome Missouri!

also take a good look at the FAQ section

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?pid=21

Financially, way too easy to get in over your head..

[Shadow]

Welcome.

You might try out the hunting in Russia, bears go on bicycles there (stems from a Russian joke).

I think you are in the right place, and don't mind the politics...its just guys (and gals) having a beer together.

[Missouri-Hunter]

Thanks for the welcome. I actually think it'd be quite fun to hunt over there, but it's another expense and isn't in my future.  I'd also be very hesitant about taking any of my guns out of the country. 
  I'm still doing more reading than posting right now, until I learn more. Some of the threads, like Wade asking real or scam, are answering questions without me even having to ask them. 

[Wraith]

Glad you are finding the reading informative. I know when I first jumped into this and hopped on the site I must have read a week straight. It can definitely be mind boogling with the amount of information that is shared here. My advice is take a step back sometime and just ask a question or two if you have them. For me it helped me assimilate everything I was reading and clarify a few of the gray areas I had in my head.

[SANDRO43]

I know when I first jumped into this and hopped on the site I must have read a week straight. It can definitely be mind boGgling with the amount of information that is shared here.

As an alternative to wading through all the detail, a newbie might well consider acquiring a copy of our book (http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=9568.0 - plug, plug, nudge, nudge, wink, wink ).

It was conceived as a compendium of the various Forum topics, and it contains links to the relevant threads for more in-depth reading. A two-tiered approach, in a way.

A reduced version is freely downloadable, too.

[Wraith]

LOL Sandro! It is a good plug.

[SANDRO43]

LOL Sandro! It is a good plug.

Say no more, say no more :

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT3_UCm1A5I[/youtube]

[Taz]

Welcome! I know the state all too well. A lot of ties to your area.

I'd suggest as a good starter besides the ebook that Sandro was nudging... look here too:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/mwiki/

There is a lot of info her. Digest it all and come back in a month when you are done reading. 

A lot of info there as well as the best RWD threads in the right hand column might be of interest to you.

As a general note about your condition, there are almost no types of facilities geared toward people that are physically handicapped in any way. I swear they went out of their way to make it more difficult with tons of steps that are uneven, terrible pavement, poor crossing design, etc. About the best I've seen for any help is for some crossing to help out blind people but those are pretty rare.

I'd suggest going to a less than major cities and it will be easier to get around and the taxis will be cheaper. Then you won't have to walk so much. A lot of stuff to see and do there. If you like the outdoors, I'd highly suggest Siberia from that perspective alone. There are other reasons to go there too. But Russia does require a visa. So you might want to consider Ukraine as it is a little more relaxed with respect to visa requirements. Both have their pluses but the last few years I've spent far more time in Ukraine than Russia. I quite honestly got tired of giving the Russian government money for a visa time and again and waiting a long time to get my passport back from them. Of course you can pay them even MORE money and get it more quickly.

[Missouri-Hunter]

I'd wondered about being able to get around, because it's not all that easy to do here either. I would most likely take my scooter over there rather than my wheelchair, just because of dealing with airlines. I've heard of wheelchairs being damaged pretty badly, but the scooter is of a more simple design and is also less expensive just in case something did happen.






  So far, with what I've learned and seen on a few sites my current hope is to visit Ukraine, and I was looking mostly at the Krivoy Rog area. That's mostly based on what I've seen at AFA, but so far that's what I'm thinking.

Back to my studying now...   

[Shadow]

You should select your destination carefully. Even in big cities in the FSU the provisions for people in a wheelchair or scooter are poor, if present at all.
That you can walk short distances will improve your mobility, but if you leave the scooter unattended it might disappear. Get a transportation that is easy for you to carry along over the hurdles.

[Missouri-Hunter]

I have a mechanical wheelchair I could take, but that precludes being able to carry anything. I couldn't take a crutch for the times I needed it, plus any uphill travel hurts my back and I can't go far. There's a definite trade-off of good/bad points with each method. 

[Missouri-Hunter]

I've been reading here a lot (when my internet connection lets me get online), and since I'm nowhere near being financially ready to even travel over there I'm going to back off. Once I'm in a better situation I'll resume my studying here, but for now I'll stop since I haven't wasted anyone's time but my own. 

[myrddin]

It's not a waste of time to research a topic before making an informed decision.

Good luck, MH.

[Taz]

Good luck! It can still be interesting to read what's happening on the ground so once you are ready, you'll be able to work out your plan pretty quickly. If you go to one area, and concentrate your time and resources, A 2 week trip will cost you about $2,500 including airfare from your area ASSUMING you don't go at a peak time for airfare costs. In that estimate I've included apartment, food, transportation in country, entertainment and some interpreter/meeting fees. Those last 2 things are the biggest variable costs.

If I go ultra-cheap, 2 weeks will cost me about $1,500. However I can never get a flight less than about $700 and that becomes about 2/3rd's of my budget right there. I get a cheap no-frills apartment. I don't have to spend anything for terp costs as I speak, read and write the language. I can live on about $30-35 a day (incl apartment) if I go to the areas I like best. I'll spend about $200 on entertainment and transportation costs in country. I have gone as cheap as $1,000 for 2 weeks but I stayed in my GF's apartment for most of the time and I got a ticket for $680RT. Not likely to get a ticket that cheap again but I can dream. 

[Sculpto]

MH, your situation is unique and finding a suitable lady may take longer than it would for someone with different circumstnaces.  I do not see any harm on your end in continuing to search as long as you are transparent about your circumstances.

As far as costs.. I totally concur with what Taz stated.  You can do it relatively inexpensively if you are careful and don't splurge on overpriced luxuries.  Low cost flights can be had if you pay attention and search the discount sites frequently and especially if you do not have a fixed itinerary.  I just paid $700 RT from Moscow to Mexico City for my girl using cheaptickets.. the same flight on the airlines site was $1100.

[Missouri-Hunter]

Thank you for the insights; I appreciate it.

Sculpto,
     Are you saying it would be OK to contact a lady if I found one that I thought may be a match, if I let her know my limitations right away? 

[Sculpto]

Thank you for the insights; I appreciate it.

Sculpto,
     Are you saying it would be OK to contact a lady if I found one that I thought may be a match, if I let her know my limitations right away? 

I think so Hunter.. it is going to take a very special woman to be understanding and would automatically be a very patient person who would be likely to be in less of a rush.  But I think disclosure is critical.  I have heard several stories from FSU ladies who corresponded with men who did not disclose some kind of physical limitation and were shocked and felt betrayed when they met in real life. 

[Missouri-Hunter]

I see what you're saying now. I have no problem with being honest right up front, which is how I like to be treated too, but I was thinking I shouldn't start writing because I don't have the money to go. Perhaps you're right about a patient lady who'd be willing to discuss potential future life details while I'm working on my situation, which I think would be great because I'd want to make sure she understood that life with me is generally quiet and what many would call boring/mundane. (Not so quiet when friends come over to shoot in the back yard though).    Most people who know me consider me to be too honest and straight-forward, so there's no way I'd do anything to deceive a potential spouse. If I do achieve this, it's for life.

[Sculpto]

I see what you're saying now. I have no problem with being honest right up front, which is how I like to be treated too, but I was thinking I shouldn't start writing because I don't have the money to go. Perhaps you're right about a patient lady who'd be willing to discuss potential future life details while I'm working on my situation, which I think would be great because I'd want to make sure she understood that life with me is generally quiet and what many would call boring/mundane. (Not so quiet when friends come over to shoot in the back yard though).    Most people who know me consider me to be too honest and straight-forward, so there's no way I'd do anything to deceive a potential spouse. If I do achieve this, it's for life.

I would think given your situation that making multiple trips would probably not be very easy to do so taking extra time to correspond and minimize your risk would be valuable.  If you are able to find a lady that is open enough to accept your physical limits I would think you would have a reasonable chance for success.  I also think any lady who is sincerely interested will not have an issue waiting a little longer than might ordinarily be the case.  Its almost like you have a built in filter for keeping bad women out of the picture.  So, start saving your gold nuggets! 

What methods are you using to identify ladies you are interested in?

[Kuna]

MH,

I think your case is an ideal situation to meet a woman via the less common path of contact sites... or pen friends (if you like).

I didn't use this method but I know "Misha" ( member here) recommends a site that another new member recently started using. This would give you the opportunity to start writing to someone who is NOT a member of a marriage site and therefore there might be less pressure to travel NOW! Also, if you spent time writing/chatting to a lady then the stereotypes might be less important than the online friendship you might develop in the meantime.

ABSOLUTELY disclose your situation to those you're writing to because it would be foolhardy to not mention it until meeting or late in correspondence - but if you're "chatting" over X weeks/months and a lady realises you have a life other than the chair... then you should be off and away.

I'd send Misha a PM if you can't find this site he keeps talking about.  would be a good option in my mind.

Last thing...  this isn't a cheap journey - don't let anyone tell you it is.  You might be able to do a trip or two on the cheap but there are MANY other costs to come.  If you plan and budget you should be able to get there - you don't need to be "wealthy"... but it isn't cheap either.

[Missouri-Hunter]

Kuna,
   I'll contact Misha, because being able to write without spending a bunch of money on e-mails sounds great. I'm definitely interested in that.

What methods are you using to identify ladies you are interested in?

I've been searching on AFA and Elena's Models...

Here's my preferences;

No smoking.

Doesn't want to have kids. (I can't, and don't want to anyway).

From Ukraine.

I usually search for 30 to 45 year old.

Petite

Blonde is a bonus, but not mandatory.

Then I start looking at what they like/dislike, and most of them aren't matches due to;

want kids,
want a "sporty" man, (not sure what it means, but I'm not sporty)
want to travel,
want to be kept busy/not bored.

I haven't made it past all of that yet to even try addressing the religion issue. We follow the OT Holy Days and Sabbath (no work from sunset Friday until sunset Saturday), and while I don't care what someone believes or how/if they worship, there are certain things that I can't have in the house such as Christmas, Easter or Halloween stuff. I haven't yet figured out how to coexist and not interfere with each other.