The inevitable happened this morning.

[HiTech]

Our normal routine is Alyona leaves for school  about 7:50 AM and I do some message board reading until I leave. So I am reading my company's forum when I hear tire screech but no bang. 5 - 10 secs later I think, hmm maybe I better go check.

Out I go to the balcony in my shirt and underwear only to see my wife's car parked with some damage to back end.

Put on shorts go back out side to meet a sobbing wife shaking in tears .

She had managed to back straight up into the car behind her all the way across the street. On many occasion we had discussion regarding driving in 3.5 inch heals, but it was always .... I can drive they do not effect my driving. Well as she pushed the gas or let off the brake, I am not sure which the car jumps back ,after which she is not sure what pedal she was pushing

Good news is nothing major, other than shaking wife, and she now will were flat shoes when driving.

With luck , this one etches in the brain and is a long time before next one.

HiTech

[KenC]

HiTech,
Sorry to hear about your mishap.  The good thing is that no one was injured.  Interesting theory you have about driving in heels though.  I always chalked up the accidents to over confidence and lack of actual driving experience.  Either way, I hope you don't have repeats. like I experienced.
KenC

[GoodOlBoy]

Sorry about the "damages", BUT....Glad your wife is OK HiTech.

If you don't mind me asking, did your wife drive in the FSU?


GOB

[HiTech]

Alyona had a Ukraine drivers license before we met, but it was a purchased drivers licenses.

I had her take about 15 hours of driving instruction in Ukraine before she came over.
When she arrived she really was still not capable of driving an Automatic or safe to drive anywhere. Tested with my truck.

Bought a used car for her the first week she was here, she practiced on the side streets for a few weeks.

Made 800 mile trips with her car, that she did the majority of driving on interstates. This really taught her the most because I could spend more then 40 hours with her driving. Had 1 episiode after exiting and approaching the stop sign that scared me and her as I had to scream stop as loud as I could to have her stop at the sign and not hit crossing traffic with them doing about 45.

Since Jan, she has been driving to school 4 times a week, about 10 mile commute on I 635. In Dallas.

Dale

[GoodOlBoy]

Since Jan, she has been driving to school 4 times a week, about 10 mile commute on I 635. In Dallas.

Your probably correct HiTech.......it was the 3 1/2" heels.


GOB


BTW....It still amazes me how RW in Siberia can walk/run on ICE with 3 1/2" heels? 

[Shadow]

Your probably correct HiTech.......it was the 3 1/2" heels.


GOB


BTW....It still amazes me how RW in Siberia can walk/run on ICE with 3 1/2" heels? 

Skates have less surface as shoes 

[GQBlues]

I am glad your wife is alright....

My wife's accident is definitely one of the biggest disappointment I experienced in our relationship. Lord knows I am elated she came out of the accident, along with everyone else, unscathed despite her brand new car being nearly totaled. I remember arriving to the scene of the accident and seeing my wife looking so helpless, scared and worn out, standing beside a pile of metal that resembled parts of her previously new car.

My wife blew through a red light, was hit on the left rear wheel and base/fender (the side where police usually use for their pit maneuvers when they want to send a car out of control), then sent her car spiralling around 180 degrees in the middle of the intersection and slamming the right side of her autoobile unto another car facing the opposite direction she was, before finally stopping as a heap. Luckily, no one was hurt.

I remember coming home after they got her car off from the middle of the street and got her to relax and settle down. I looked at my wife and asked her a very direct question. I expressed how important the question is going to be and I really need for her to be completely honest with me...I asked, "Tell me what happened. Did you, or did the lady ran through the red light? I need for you to tell me the truth so I know how to approach what awaits us."

When my wife started driving on her own, during the few times she drove me in her car, I remember having experienced 3 scary moments where my wife drove through, or nearly drove through, an intersection on red. I always struggled to find the balance between asking her to be aware of this stating that nasty intersection accidents can closely become fatal in hope of making  a point and not become someone who is over-bearing from beating a dead horse. I have been in a car where her other 2 RW friends drove and they too, have blown through red lights. One of them actually crossed the intersection 4-5 seconds AFTER the light had turned red. Her friend's excuse was that she was already going too fast and believed she couldn't stop fast enough. One of the things I made sure to point to my wife was, especially where we are, that the blinking 'don't walk' sign on traffic lights have been changed to a descending countdown before the lights change to 'yellow' and eventually 'red'. It'll either start from 15 seconds, or ten, all the way to one and just before 'zero' the lights turn to yellow. At any point, she'll know how much time she have before 'yellow' or even 'red'.

We personally know 15 AM/RW couples close to us...all but one, but she's only been driving 7 months, had at least one automobile accident. 3 of them had more than 2. One already have 5 after driving for 2 years.

I remember my wife telling me, "Darling, it wasn't my fault. The lady ran the red light!" I believed her and prepared myself to fight the insurance companies to the very end. A little over a month later, I received notification that based on the other lady's testimony, a witness, and the other driver's testimony (that my wife's car eventually eventually slammed into); all of them testified that it was my wife who ran through the red light.

I was disappointed not because my wife may have possibly lied to me under this serious circumstances, (under the circusmtances, I can understand her even if she lied). I am also not too prepared to fully disregard my wife's version of the event. It may still have its merit. Merit, despite what I have personally experienced with her driving me in her car before.

No. I was disappointed because, like I've explained to her, it scares me more because what it really tells me is that she still is NOT paying closer attention when entering intersections even if the other driver was at fault. Just please be careful sweetheart.

Since then I've noticeably seen my wife's driving to be a bit more 'comfortable'.

[groovlstk]

HT, I'm glad everyone's OK - sheet metal and electronics can be replaced, flesh and blood can not. FWIW, you'll probably be laughing about this in a month's time and it may prove to be one of the most valuable lessons your wife will ever learn.

We personally know 15 AM/RW couples close to us...all but one, but she's only been driving 7 months, had at least one automobile accident. 3 of them had more than 2. One already have 5 after driving for 2 years.

No kidding, I have forbidden my wife to drive w/some of her Russian friends for the same reason. One girl spends all her time texting her lover - even on freeways. It would be funny if it weren't so frightening.

[Wraith]

Glad she is ok HiTech.

[GregfromGa]

I'm happy to hear your wife and everyone else is ok. I'm lucky I guess that my wife doesnt talk on her cell unless I call her. I really try not to call her when she's driving. Luckily we live in a rather small town as well.

[GQBlues]

I do want to add one thing, and hopefully this may make a little sense....

I used to think that it's generally inherent for Russian (women) living in the States to get involved in an accident one way or another ~ sooner than later. Based on the overwhelming occurances that seem to happen involving newly arrived, newly-driving RWs....

At one point, I even subliminally attributed this (maybe in frustration) as their natural tendency to be stubborn.

I strived to better understand where my wife is coming from, and those of her friends, and avoid being a bit narrow-minded to their situation. We, Americans, are generally raised in households where driving becomes a vital part of our lives from such early ages. From being driven around by our soccer Moms to road trips to getting dropped-off in malls, theaters, sleep-overs, etc...As early as many of us can remember. We all grew up in an environment where road awareness was becoming an acquired way of life from early on, whereas for most RWs, road awareness is something they had to embrace, along with everything else they needed to adjust to, in a relatively much shorter span of time.

It's difficult sometimes to wrestle with this fact, but one thing is for certain, we AMs need to unfurl a greater amount of latitude and patience to afford these women a more sound ground to start from during their acclimation period. Driving is a necessary evil and cautionary care should not be easily forsaken.

This is just one of those things that every future couple need to openly discuss and plan around in properly. We are a driving society for the most part, inform your wives well and patiently.

[KenC]

Good post GQ.  I have often thought the same thing.  My kids absorbed a lot of driving knowledge from their rear seat views.  I also had them jocky-ing cars around in the driveway since they were 14 or 15.  We are an automobile society for sure.  Even RW with driving experience usually would not have the miles under their belt that a typical 16 or 17 yo would here.  I know I practically lived in my car from 16.
KenC

[ScottinCrimea]

My wife's experience with driving was quite different than what most have described here.  Her family has owned a car for years and her father is one of the most conscientious drivers I have ever seen.  Very good but not overly risky or overly cautious.  I'm sure whe learned a lot from being in his back seat.  When she started driving, she knew that any incidents would be cause for serious repercussions.  She did bend a fender on a tree while I was there the second time but I took care of the repairs (about 1/10th of what it would have cost here) and that seemed to smooth things over with her father. After another driver clipped her side mirror and broke it, through no fault of her own, she elected to avoid city driving and only drive in the country.

She continues to drive well here and it was a great relief that I didn't have to spend the time teaching her to drive from scratch.  Her only incident was one time pulling up to a parking spot and hitting the gas instead of the brake.  She jumped the curb but managed to stop a few inches before hitting the building.  She was somewhat overcautions after that but that didn't last long.

[Ade]

I agree with GQ, it has a lot to do with the lack of familiarity.

When my fiancée was here some months ago I took her for her first driving lesson and it was a bit of a shock. It was not so much because she didn't know how to drive but because she was absolutely ignorant of anything and everything car, driving, and road sense related.  The things that we take for granted after growing up sitting next to our parents in a car were just not there.

We booked her into one of the best driving schools in Arkhangelsk after that and after a couple of months she passed a very demanding driving test first time. I'm looking forward to sitting in the car as a passenger for the first time with her when she arrives back here next week. Of course, driving in Norway should be a breeze compared to the mental FSU city roads.

[Ooooops]

I've never driven a car when I lived in Russia.   But when we first moved to the States it was a small town in Kansas with no public transport and I had no choice but to learn how to drive.   Had 2 weeks of Driving School and had only one accident in all these years since - slid on icy road, because didn't know how to drive on ice.   So don't underestimate your wives - they are smart adult human beings and driving ain't a brain surgery.   

[Ade]

I've never driven a car when I lived in Russia.   But when we first moved to the States it was a small town in Kansas with no public transport and I had no choice but to learn how to drive.   Had 2 weeks of Driving School and had only one accident in all these years since - slid on icy road, because didn't know how to drive on ice.   So don't underestimate your wives - they are smart adult human beings and driving ain't a brain surgery.   

Do you drive a stick shift or an automatic like most Americans?

[UTRO]

Glad to hear your wife made it through her incident unscathed HiTech
I'm sort of surprised by the comments made by you married guys here, who are living with their wives in the West. Are you suggesting that FSU Women are somewhat inferior in their ability to drive compared to their Western sisters? Seems to be a somewhat discriminating attitude?
Therefore, is Borat Sagdiyev correct when he states and I quote,

"In my country we say to let a woman drive a car is like to let a monkey fly a plane , very dangerous , yes?"

 

[Ooooops]

Do you drive a stick shift or an automatic like most Americans?

I can do both, but I prefer an automatic       Pretty soon I'll have to get a commercial truck driving license (for our future RV).   That'll be the day...   

[Ooooops]

I'm sort of surprised by the comments made by you married guys here, who are living with their wives in the West. Are you suggesting that FSU Women are somewhat inferior in their ability to drive compared to their Western sisters? Seems to be a somewhat chauvinistic attitude?

I'm glad I wasn't' the only one to notice that.   

Oh, and sorry to say it that late - HiTech, it's very good that Alyona came out of that ordeal without a scratch.    And Dallas has pretty crazy traffic.  I lived there, I know.   

[Ade]

I'm glad I wasn't' the only one to notice that.   

Don't get me wrong; my fiancée is a natural and she picked things up extremely quickly but there was such a lack of knowledge to begin with, far less than the average westerner I'd say.

[HiTech]

I'm sort of surprised by the comments made by you married guys here, who are living with their wives in the West. Are you suggesting that FSU Women are somewhat inferior in their ability to drive compared to their Western sisters

I don't think this at all, but I do think of my wife as a 16 year old driver. Not less capable but very less experienced. Reactions and situational awareness take a lot of time before they become automatic.

HiTech

[boaterguy]

I can do both, but I prefer an automatic       Pretty soon I'll have to get a commercial truck driving license (for our future RV).   That'll be the day...   

If I'm not mistaken a commercial driver's liscense is not required for an RV. I don't know of many RV's that excede 26,000 lbs.

[GoodOlBoy]

If I'm not mistaken a commercial driver's liscense is not required for an RV. I don't know of many RV's that excede 26,000 lbs.

Yeah, I was wondering about that post also.

I had a 30' Class "A" Motorhome and I never needed a "special" license to drive it in the GoodOl' USA.


GOB

[boaterguy]

I think several have hit the nail on the head here. People coming from a driving culture such as in the states begin conditioning to drive at a very early age!(developing the necessary motor skills) My wife is terrified in heavy traffic. She made a comment that I think many can relate to. "When I was in Russia I didn't have to see where we were going. Perhaps I will be better if I sit in the back seat."

I hope my wife will drive one day but I just don't see it happening. I don't believe it has anything to with her being a RW as much as it is the person she is. LOL, she is easily frightened. If I walk into the room she is in and she is unaware she will still yelp or jump to the ceiling when she sees me...even after 5 years of marriage! Going to my statement above...I also believe it would be difficult for her to develope the motor skills needed for driving in traffic.(she is going on 49) If we lived in a very rural setting I think things would be different.

[groovlstk]

Are you suggesting that FSU Women are somewhat inferior in their ability to drive compared to their Western sisters? Seems to be a somewhat discriminating attitude?
Therefore, is Borat Sagdiyev correct when he states and I quote,

"In my country we say to let a woman drive a car is like to let a monkey fly a plane , very dangerous , yes?"

 

GQBlues summed it up quite nicely above - most Americans and most Western people come from a car culture. Any 10-year-old child in the US can recognize a Stop sign without having to see the word STOP on it, but the shapes and colors of roadway signs are completely, ahem, foreign to new immigrants. My wife still doesn't have that ability to recognize what "type" of roadway sign is coming up in the distance, which is something we take for granted. It's easy to explain the differences based on color and shape - but she's starting with a blank slate. She also had a difficult time understanding why at some intersections, she gets a green arrow to make a left turn - so why not at others?

These are genuine issues and directly relate to her safety, not to mention the safety of other drivers, and I'd never choose the politically correct path of expecting her to progress like a 17-year-old who was born and raised in the US or Canada.