FSUW and spending money

[Sculpto]

HAHA.. I just got off the phone with "A".  She just got paid.. and then went out and spent every penny on perfume and a new bag for Mexico.  She gets more money in two weeks.. good girl didn't ask me for anything.. might send her $100 since she didn't ask.    But she seemed to think it was funny and she said she is stupid girl.. I told her I was going to have to teach her how to spend.  She said its a good idea.  hahaha

anyway.. anyone else have stories?

[facetrock]

  She has a bad case of buyers remorse. She is still young with alot to learn.

[Sculpto]

In the nearly two years I have known her it is the first time she has done that.. well at least that she told me about.. I think she is REALLY excited about the trip.

[facetrock]

   I am sure she is very excited. She will see a part of the world she did not realized existed. I would say her imagination is going bonkers right now. She will see wonderful things and some very ugly things. I bet the ugly ones will stick in her mind more than the pleasant things.

[kievstar]

My experience with RW is there terrible with money but be careful bringing that up with them because most will disagree. At least the ones with no children.  Give them money it is gone in days.  

[Sculpto]

   I am sure she is very excited. She will see a part of the world she did not realized existed. I would say her imagination is going bonkers right now. She will see wonderful things and some very ugly things. I bet the ugly ones will stick in her mind more than the pleasant things.

That is exactly why I want to take her there.. I am carefully trying to balance our flexible itinerary around the contrast between the terrible and the beautiful.  The best part is even if she is doing research she has no idea where we are going except for Mexico City..

but to keep the thread on track.. it will be interesting to see how she reacts to the prices of things.. the dollar exchange is very favorable in Mex right now.. 15 cents to ride the subway.. 70 cents for a beer.. etc...

[Sculpto]

My experience with RW is there terrible with money but be careful bringing that up with them because most will disagree. At least the ones with no children.  Give them money it is gone in days.  

Thats kind of why I brought up the topic.. when I was with her in Moscow she was excellent with money.. but i had heard the horror stories before about spending without regard to consequences but hadn't seen her do it, until now.

[myrddin]

May be a bit .   Or may be it's in the DNA, since my mother's father came from Ukraine.


Back when my parents were first married, one morning my dad gave my mom a $20 bill to replace a purse.   That night they had dinner with her parents. 

My dad asked my mom if she had found a purse and she said, "Yes, it was only $10."

Dad said, "Ok, good, so there's $10 left."

Mom said, "Oh, I spent that too."

Dad's gaze fell on his father-in-law, who threw up his hands and said, "Hey, it's your problem now!"

[Andrew]

HAHA.. I just got off the phone with "A".  She just got paid.. and then went out and spent every penny on perfume and a new bag for Mexico.  She gets more money in two weeks.. good girl didn't ask me for anything.. might send her $100 since she didn't ask.    But she seemed to think it was funny and she said she is stupid girl.. I told her I was going to have to teach her how to spend.  She said its a good idea.  hahaha

anyway.. anyone else have stories?

Hmmm, This brings back memories of when mine went on a few ridiculous spending sprees, $200 dollar boots, a damn coat that cost about $1200. Naturally, I was not impressed and gave her more than few stern words about her recklessness with money. I'll paste part of her email for your "amusement":

why u so untrust?
u even not trust me
but im your gf not one month , and not even one year, more and u still not trust me. its do me afraid

and then of course I was the bad guy and I felt quite sh!tty about the whole ordeal. I mean what's $1400 +?
I won't even get into the Mercedes Benz argument ...... sheeeeeesh!!

[facetrock]

  Was that with your money or her money?

[Andrew]

It was money that I had given to her. Not to be nasty but on her salary she'd have to save every last cent for about 5 months to spend that amount. But it's not about the spending of the money, it's about how it was blown in 2 days and on frivolous things. She's learned a lot about the value of money since then and is a lot more frugal now. In hindsight, it was my own fault for giving her so much considering that she had probably never had that amount in her hand all in one go before, she must have felt that she was rich for a few minutes. 

[UTRO]

Nope, I can't relate. My Svetlana is very frugal. She searches for sales. She won't even take money from me to fly her to Moscow. She says it's a waste and takes the train on her dime instead. Lately she's been selling the clothes she won't bring to Canada on a Kirov website.
Perhaps it's because she's a Provincial Girl? lol!!

[JR]

One thing to remember is that in the recent history of the FSU there were phenomenal inflation rates and saving was punished by the loss of purchasing power so people got into the mindset of spending as fast as possible.

[Misha]

Nope, I can't relate. My Svetlana is very frugal. She searches for sales. She won't even take money from me to fly her to Moscow. She says it's a waste

Your Svetlana sounds like my wife. Canadian men know how to pick wives, eh  :evil:

[Ulysses]

    Sounds like a "learning experience" for you both.......so many dynamics in your equation.  Of course, we all want to hear the results.
As for me, looking forward to a "neutral territory" time in Paris in 2 weeks.   Let's see how the Euros spend.....and with a worsening exchange rate   This will be a test for us both..........U.

[Sculpto]

  Was that with your money or her money?

her money of course..

[Sculpto]

Nope, I can't relate. My Svetlana is very frugal. She searches for sales. She won't even take money from me to fly her to Moscow. She says it's a waste and takes the train on her dime instead. Lately she's been selling the clothes she won't bring to Canada on a Kirov website.
Perhaps it's because she's a Provincial Girl? lol!!

That is exactly how "A" has been up until now, but, I think she has had a really tough year and decided to spend something on herself because she has been using all her money first for her Dad and lately for her sister who has a toddler and a husband who is out of work.

but same thing about getting to Moscow.. wouldn't take money for the plane.. insisted on taking the train.. took some emergency money only very reluctantly and then spent all of it on me once I got there.

[Sculpto]

   Sounds like a "learning experience" for you both.......so many dynamics in your equation.  Of course, we all want to hear the results.
As for me, looking forward to a "neutral territory" time in Paris in 2 weeks.   Let's see how the Euros spend.....and with a worsening exchange rate   This will be a test for us both..........U.

Do you know Paris very well?  You can be frugal there if you know how.  PM me for some tips if you want.

[Vaughn]

I'm with the two lucky Canadians...  my wife is frugal, sometimes to a fault. She'll splurge occasionally
but it's usually when there's a larger ticket item about which she's been fantasizing for quite a while.
She's given up gardening and sewing, though, once she realized clothing, veggies and fruits are
generally cheaper than the time and effort expended in making your own. She's a saver for sure...
 
My 20 year old stepdaughter is another story, although she earns well for her age, and never asks
for help.

[Blues Fairy]

My experience with RW is there terrible with money but be careful bringing that up with them because most will disagree. At least the ones with no children.  Give them money it is gone in days.  

Perhaps those who live with their parents and don't have to worry about rent/food etc.  Find a self-supporting RW living separately and you'll have a completely different picture. 

[UTRO]

I think that a lot of Russians, just under 30 and above, are a lot like our parents and grandparents who lived through the Depression and WWII. But their 'Depression' only ended in the late 90s...
Second hand cars, walking or taking a bus to work, gardens, preserving vegetables and berries, mushroom picking, storing vegetables in peat, happy to find a bargain, living with parents, etc.... are more a given than the exception. The meager Salaries of most Russians, especially Women, continue to make frugality a common trait. The further away from the Big cities the more this is true.

[kievstar]

My wife says money today gone tomorrow.  Her parents always were able to have her in the best clothes and new ones each month when she grew up in the 1980's and most of the 1990's.  Her parents also saved money. When banks collapsed in Russia her parents lost a lot of money.  They made most of the money in the 1980's when people were trading foreign goods and stock piling cash.  Her parents also worked very hard.  Her parents are not in the social circles just honest blue collar workers who worried more about making money than getting power for status. 

So now her parents have nothing as they lost all their savings.  So wife is not a big saver.  I usually give her whatever money I have in my wallet when I leave Ukraine and it is normally more than 200 usd and the next day she has already taken several thousand more Ukraine dollars out of the cash machine.  If I say something, the cash machine withdrawals stop to a normal amount next couple weeks.  If  I do not, they keep coming almost daily.  She just has no clue with money.  Other girls I dated in Ukraine were the same.  Give them a cash account and they have no idea what to do with it.  That is not true - they spend it.

That is why I set a limit of 3,000 usd a month with my wife and if it goes over that I want to know at a high level what is going on.  I am focused on the big purchases not the small stuff.  But the big items have been for me like a new bed, clothes. I have not found one purchase she has made that was foolish.   She buys clothes and expensive perfume but that is normal. 

Regarding credit card probably will keep her on debit card with maximum 1,000 usd a day withdrawal. 

[Kuna]

I'm with Vaughn and the Canadians.

My wife is frugal to the point of it being a PITA sometimes.  She will freely spend money on our son...  I'll often come home to little gifts from her when she's been in the city...  but it's difficult to get her to spend money on herself.

This IS NOT always the case though.  She saves madly for special occasions like the Xmas sales or our trip to Beijing.  At those times she is a committed shopper... but she still DEMANDS value.  I tire of her checking stitching and comparing products - but I'm happier she's this way inclined than the other.

[kievstar]

Most RW do not just spend money on themselves.  They are very free with it and spend more on others.  I have to tell my wife I do not need thousand dollar presents.  I told her once and she understands.  However when we have children that will be tougher to just say no and I will need to seek the advice of the smarter women on RWD.  But RW spend days looking for the best deal and quality.  RW spend a lot but you will find it hard to find them spend something foolish on.  But just remember guys a high quality purse is more than 4,000 usd there is not cutting corners here.  So if you say go buy a high quality purse and giver her a open card she may spend 2 weeks in looking but do not expect a 500 usd purse.  a 500 usd purse is not of high quality.  Neither are shoes or jewelry.  500 usd can buy high quality perfume and maybe a bottle of champagne.  High quality clothers are very expensive.  Be careful on words you speak and money given.   

I made a mistake this week.  Her phone fall apart.  So I said lets buy a phone.  First store we go in she does not like and I ask why and it was the brands they had.  I asked her what brand she liked.  I also knew the color she liked.  This is where I made the mistake.  I said lets get a gold colored phone.  She heard gold phone.  She went right to the store she knew and there was a phone for 15,400 Ukraine dollars.  I said no that is a waste of money.     I think guys who really know RW knew what happened next.  I tried once to explain later that day that I said gold color but it makes no difference (2nd mistake - should have let it go).  This is a subject not to be revisited with her.  But she is still using her old phone.  Lesson learned I should have just asked her a couple questions and bought the phone on my own for her.  I will never buy something for her again with her next to me.  Problem solved.  She would have been happy with me buying a 300 usd phone or 2,000 usd phone.  The amount is not important it is the thought and doing what you speak. 

A little lesson for some people.  Many men would have said that is not fair I have done hundreds of nice things for you and now you are a unreasonable on one thing.  Men that would have made things worse.  What you have done in the past for most RW does not matter.  You cannot use that.  Do what you speak and be careful how you speak.

My RW has a strong bite but very loving.  I like that.  No guessing what she thinks. 

A couple girls I know in Kiev who are very picky on who their future husband are will take a man to a cleaners if he brags about money.  Most men do brag.  They talk about their big house and cars.  Say they make good money each month.  When you speak like that on a first date that can piss a girl off.  How she gets back at you - the famous shopping trip.  Man comes back and says the girl is a professional dater.  The girl tells her friends (maybe agency workers) the man is greedy and only spends on himself.  The truth is the man is at fault here IMO.  Do what you speak and be careful how you speak. 

[Faux Pas]

Kiev,

Let me get this straight. You set her up an account for shopping on small items such as clothes and perfume with a limit of 3K USD per month? She buys purses for 4K apiece? Do you consider such a purse a big item like a new bed? I'd be afraid to ask what a new bed that meets these standards might cost. Quite honestly Kiev from your remarks here it sounds like you've created a monster. She wants to piss and moan because you wouldn't buy a gold 2K phone?

The idea that higher quality is determined by paying a higher price is just plain wrong. I am sure there are salesmen lined up the world over awaiting you and your wife