FSUW and spending money

[UTRO]

Sveta has a Gold Dolce Gabbana Motorola Razor! it took her a year to save for it and she worked for MTS at the time. It was her business and home phone. Looks pretty worn now, but she still loves it Three thousand US $$ per month! Geeze Kievstar I don't give my Ex that much in Child Support for 3 Children and I go by the government tables based on a pretty decent salary! Careful buddy 

[viking]

Kievstar.  $3,000 a month? You must very very deep pockets. I'm with Utrobina here. I dont spend that for mortgages and college here. I left my Fiancee with a debit card with  a $50 balance which I would refill on a monthly basis. In the last 30 days she has used $7.00 Yep, thats right, 7 bucks. A high quality purse for $4,000? Is Donald Trump your uncle???

[boaterguy]

LOL on FSU women spending money. I think Blues Fairy makes a good point about whether the lady lives @ home or independantly. My wife lived at home and didn't have to worry. I left her money for expenses for her interview and no..it didn't make it to the interview!

My wife can not save a penny! Kievstar...I hope my wife never meets yours. I am a cheapskate compared to you! I give my wife $200 a month for her wardrobe maintaince(yeap spent quite a bit in the beginning). I pay for everything else. She will spend that money on her 1st trip to the mall. She spends it regardless of whether she really likes something or not. LOL, it gets old having to take stuff back!

The funniest thing I'll never forget was after we got engaged. We went out the next morning and she grabbed my hand..tugging me saying I am your future wife and you need to buy me clothes!

[Kuna]

Kiev,

Let me get this straight. You set her up an account for shopping on small items such as clothes and perfume with a limit of 3K USD per month? She buys purses for 4K apiece? Do you consider such a purse a big item like a new bed? I'd be afraid to ask what a new bed that meets these standards might cost. Quite honestly Kiev from your remarks here it sounds like you've created a monster. She wants to piss and moan because you wouldn't buy a gold 2K phone?

The idea that higher quality is determined by paying a higher price is just plain wrong. I am sure there are salesmen lined up the world over awaiting you and your wife

Sveta has a Gold Dolce Gabbana Motorola Razor! it took her a year to save for it and she worked for MTS at the time. It was her business and home phone. Looks pretty worn now, but she still loves it Three thousand US $$ per month! Geeze Kievstar I don't give my Ex that much in Child Support for 3 Children and I go by the government tables based on a pretty decent salary! Careful buddy 

Kievstar.  $3,000 a month? You must very very deep pockets. I'm with Utrobina here. I dont spend that for mortgages and college here. I left my Fiancee with a debit card with  a $50 balance which I would refill on a monthly basis. In the last 30 days she has used $7.00 Yep, thats right, 7 bucks. A high quality purse for $4,000? Is Donald Trump your uncle???

 

Gentleman... don't fall for Internet fraud.

I like Kievstar a lot...  he has some interesting insights on Ukraine and his posts are often entertaining... but if you haven't worked out he exaggerates wildly, then you are probably the type who will not notice if your wife overspends anyway - at least until the bank manager phones!   


Kievstar... I'm putting this post of yours down to similar bursts of excitement you've had - like the one where you claimed you had 3 or 4% bodyfat... or the one where you claimed you gained 40 or 50kg of bodyweight for fun and lost it in nanoseconds.   

Keep posting... it's very entertaining sometimes informative...  and I do genuinely enjoy your posts...  but you will have more credibility if you control your more outrageous exaggerations.

There's no need to impress us with exaggerations...  I'm sure I"m like others in appreciating the well balanced stuff you share often.

[Misha]

She spends it regardless of whether she really likes something or not. LOL, it gets old having to take stuff back!

Everything with my wife is a cost-value analysis. She will check something out, then spend a day or two thinking whether it would be a good purchase. She will go to the mall a few times to look at what she wants to buy, then will think whether she already has clothing and accessories that will match.... In other words, nothing is ever bought on a whim.

[boaterguy]

Everything with my wife is a cost-value analysis. She will check something out, then spend a day or two thinking whether it would be a good purchase. She will go to the mall a few times to look at what she wants to buy, then will think whether she already has clothing and accessories that will match.... In other words, nothing is ever bought on a whim.

My wife has learned alot over the last few years! It's not happening as much these days! Her 1st big lesson was a couple of years ago. There was a blouse she had to have. It was new to the store. I believe it was $99.99. I tried to tell her it would be cheaper later. Yeap! 2 months later it was onsale for $30! She will not buy clothes now unless she just has to have them or she knows the price will not go lower. She blames the few returns now on mirrors that are made to deceive women...the clothes always look better in the store when she tries them on than after she gets home with them!

[Gator]

My wife needs her own money to spend however she wishes.  Asking me for money makes both of us uncomfortable.   

Whatever amount I give her, she will spend it.  This was also the case for the many years before marriage when I was sprinkling some jingle on the single mama while coming to grips with everything.

Personally, I prefer this over a cautious, frugal lifestyle.  She could be more analytical in her purchases; however, this is difficult to imprint in an intuitive thinker.  She appreciates quality and enjoys Nordstom's, a fine store.  Yet she finds Needless Markup (aka Nieman Marcus) as not worth the added price (whew!).  She will shop at discounters for many purchases such as the kids clothes.


Our method for managing money has evolved over the years.  After our first trip together when my plastic credit card melted from overuse, I learned it is best to give her a fixed amount in the beginning and let her spend it as she wishes.  As with Kievstar's (or someone) wife, she spent a lot of it on family and friends.

This concept translates into the overall solution  as a family, which is to develop a budget amount, and operate with the knowledge that her budget will never have a surplus.   

Budgeting is not an easy task, and reveals much about each other's character.  We have been in the process for over a year, trying to reach a happy medium.  We're making progress.  We are receiving fewer "cash back" notes from Nordstrom's (her credit card provider).

[HiTech]

She blames the few returns now on mirrors that are made to deceive women

I love this one I have never heard it before.

I was shocked to find out my wife had managed to save a fair amount in a bank before she came to the USA.

The one concept

[Sculpto]

wow, some really great stuff being reported.  I am seeing I better get prepared mentally for this money thing.  I will give the AWs I dated one tiny bit of credit in this regard.. they always made and spent their own money and contributed to the household when we lived together.

I don't know if I can expect the same, in the long term, but I can hope right?

I did percieve a little dig from BF.  Right now my lady is at home staying with her Mom.  In two or three weeks she will go back to Moscow again for work.  I know any impulse shopping will cease to occur.  She splurged on herself once, that I know of, in the two years since we started.  She was annoyingly frugal when I was in Moscow.  She preferred to spend two hours RT in transit to go to Ashan and save $5 on groceries than go across the street to the admittedly overpriced Petrovsky.  I hated going to Ashan.. the quality of the food there was mediocre at best and the crowds were annoying.  Petrovsky would be considered a pretty nice store here with an excellent selection.   But then again I am a picky food shopper.. here its Whole Foods and some other local specialty shops.. if I go into a Safeway its only for staple items and I would never even consider buying food, especially fresh food, at Costco.  I have never set foot into a Walmart in my life..

[Sculpto]

I was shocked to find out my wife had managed to save a fair amount in a bank before she came to the USA.

I am glad to hear that HiTech.  "A" has said several times she wants to have money in the bank before she comes.  I know the crisis has been a setback in that regard and has her extra frustrated.  She has decided to hold off selling her late father's car because she says the resale market for cars in Tomsk right now is dead and if she tries to sell it now she will get bottom dollar for it. 

[Erwin]

Everything with my wife is a cost-value analysis. She will check something out, then spend a day or two thinking whether it would be a good purchase. She will go to the mall a few times to look at what she wants to buy, then will think whether she already has clothing and accessories that will match.... In other words, nothing is ever bought on a whim.

You're just describing my wife's modus of operandi in spending money. She is very frugal. To make sure we live within our means, she develops the family budget, thinks at least twice about any purchase, utilizes promotional coupons in her purchase, and always look for the best savings and value for the money.  That is why she is the EVP, CFO and Treasurer of our family. I am the CEO, President and Chairman of the Board who gets to make the big decisions.  So far, I did not need to make many of those big decisions ....

[Misha]

thinks at least twice about any purchase

I hear you. There are times that I must beg my wife to finally just buy something as by then I will have grown tired of examining the same item endlessly over a few days 

[Sculpto]

OK, I have a thought from a slightly different perspective.. I have mentioned before that a certain % of my clients are from the FSU.  They tend to be some of the hardest customers in presale and pretty easy in post sale.  They negotiate hard, expect a discount and some freebies and rarely complain if something goes wrong.  They will also play an old trtick.. get me to quote two options.. a cheaper one.. bragain basement.. and one with their real desires.. then ignore the one with the real desires.. focus on the cheap and at the last minute go for the more expensive but asking for additional discount to reflect the good deal I was offering on the cheap version.

Social profiling is a big part of my job in this market.  Don't even want to get me started on the clients that could be described as really difficult.. 99% of the time they are from two very distinct cultures.  Those two groups make the Russians look easy.

[Mir]

One thing to remember is that in the recent history of the FSU there were phenomenal inflation rates and saving was punished by the loss of purchasing power so people got into the mindset of spending as fast as possible.

Looks like the fate people in US and UK will face in the near future.

Turn up the printing press Mr. Bernanke and King

[viking]

http://www.cooldesignerhandbags.com/2008/01/28/top-ten-most-expensive-handbags/

I guess in the end, $4K is not all that bad.

[Mir]

There's no need to impress us with exaggerations...  

Yeah I agree with Kuna.

I mean here is a guy who spends something like $50,000 per year on his supermodel wife yet in other posts he mentions regularly traveling on the metro and facing off drunks who come on to his girl.

I have not spent anywhere near that on a woman yet I have never traveled with a girl on the metro during my visits to Kiev.

A taxi is much more convenient and so affordable

[Faux Pas]

Gentleman... don't fall for Internet fraud.

I like Kievstar a lot...  he has some interesting insights on Ukraine and his posts are often entertaining... but if you haven't worked out he exaggerates wildly, then you are probably the type who will not notice if your wife overspends anyway - at least until the bank manager phones!   


Kievstar... I'm putting this post of yours down to similar bursts of excitement you've had - like the one where you claimed you had 3 or 4% bodyfat... or the one where you claimed you gained 40 or 50kg of bodyweight for fun and lost it in nanoseconds.   

Keep posting... it's very entertaining sometimes informative...  and I do genuinely enjoy your posts...  but you will have more credibility if you control your more outrageous exaggerations.

There's no need to impress us with exaggerations...  I'm sure I"m like others in appreciating the well balanced stuff you share often.

I didn't say I believed it but I was looking for some clarification on it. Kiev generally posts like he knows of what he speaks and I too enjoy his posts. This one however sounds way over the top and in a much different light than I credited to him. 

[Sculpto]

well he does call grivna dollars.. maybe he got his numbers skewed

btw.. 4k for a purse is just silly.. that is conspicuous consumption.  but if he can afford it and it makes her happy then why not?

[viking]

http://www.cooldesignerhandbags.com/2008/01/28/top-ten-most-expensive-handbags/

I put this in the wrong thread so am re-posting it here. Maybe$4K is cheap compared to... But no matter how you slice it , in my opinion, anything over a few hundred, is more ego than anything else.

[Simoni]

I hear you. There are times that I must beg my wife to finally just buy something as by then I will have grown tired of examining the same item endlessly over a few days 

Same story here.  My wife is very careful with spending; I think it's just her history and her nature.  When we were engaged and she was living in Ukraine, she had my ATM card and rarely used it to get money.

Here, she shops for online bargains and rejoices at the great buys she gets!

And when the package comes in, she shrieks with delight and jumps on me, wrapping her legs around my waist as she pelters me with kisses!

I like it when she shops :-) LOL

[Turboguy]

Reading this thread I am getting the impession there is no middle ground when it comes to RW.  Either they are very frugal or spendthrifts.   Most AW are in the middle.

Before my wife came here we talked about money and she said she would be uncomfortable asking me for money so we set up a weekly allowance that she could spend any way she wished.   I also told her if it was not enough we would increase the weekly amount.   I forget exactly what it was but $ 75 or $ 100 a week.   After about 6 weeks she asked me to stop giving her money because she still had every penny I had given her.  To this day, which is with her here for 21 months, she still has not asked for another penny.   In the early days that was understandable since she didn't drive and I was always with her when she shopped, but now she drives and sometimes shops alone. 

She shops just like some of the others have talked about.   She checks every inch of the clothes she is looking at and it has to fit absolutly perfectly and has to be a good value.

[ECOCKS]

You know, I have to say this "allowance" thing is just jarring to me.

Putting my wife on an "allowance" reminds me too much of what I did to my early teenaged children.

If it works for you guys, that's great. Maybe this is just a "how you were raised" thing.

[Ade]

You know, I have to say this "allowance" thing is just jarring to me.

Putting my wife on an "allowance" reminds me too much of what I did to my early teenaged children.

If it works for you guys, that's great. Maybe this is just a "how you were raised" thing.

I agree, it seems a little bizarre to me too.

Why not just have a shared bank account and both partners should participate in the money making decisions like responsible adults.

[Kuna]

Something else about my wife spending money...

She LOVES something for free...  ANYTHING for free.  It really makes her day.

Examples???  When she was pregnant we'd go up to the local Vietnamese bakery for a loaf of bread and the old women in there would give her a small cake or "something for the baby" My wife loved this so much was on the verge of making this woman a Godparent...  or something.   

If she buys some cosmetics and there is a bonus tube of something she has a new little bounce in her step.

It can happen with almost anything she buys - and at times when it's blatant marketing scams (packaging scams) she finds it hard to believe its a bad thing - how can it be bad, it says 20% for free???

Anyway...  value?  No better value for my wife than if it is FREE!   

[Turboguy]

I agree, it seems a little bizarre to me too.

Why not just have a shared bank account and both partners should participate in the money making decisions like responsible adults.

In our case I think we looked at the allowance thing as temporary.  It would seem bizarre to me to have her get off the plane and immediately have her worrying about which mutual funds you should have your money in.  We set up a joint checking account, she has a credit card, etc.  So far I can't recall her ever writing a check or using the credit card.   She is currently towards the end of a two month visit to Russia and said when she got back she wants to start handling the finances more which is fine with me.

You used the words money making decisions.  I am assuming you meant money spending decisions.  My wife probably won't be "money making" for several years since she is in school.  I can't say we have had much that was a money spending decsion that needed to be made but she definately had a say in any that did exist.

As far as how anyone was raised, yes, part of my childhood I had an allowance.  For part of it I had jobs I could do to earn money.   If I needed something I could just go wash my dads car 10 times and have some cash.   After age 12 I had my own income but banked most of it.