Briefly met her mom

[phantom]

Today, I was introduced to the lady in Kazan's mother, via webcam of course.  She was very friendly, I asked her how she was in Russian and only understood part of her answer.  Her mother was there for a visit, and she had been curious about me for awhile.  Now, we know each others mother, as mine had been visiting one day. 

The conversation didn't last long with the lady after her mother went to do something.  The girl said she had been caught in the cold rain, and her throat was bothering her and she coughed a little.  Said she was going to have some warm milk and soak in a hot bath, as she did not want to get sick again.  It may be paranoia on my part, but I took it as a bad sign, esp.  after being introduced to mom.

[Andrew]

Two drops of rain fall on my girl and she has a sore throat and a temperature. For real, I have seen it myself, so it wasn't just a story.
Anyway, I wouldn't read too much into that if I were you. Maybe she was just going to sing your praises to her mother???

[Gator]

It may be paranoia on my part, but I took it as a bad sign, esp.  after being introduced to mom.

Sounds like paranoia to me.

If you do not enjoy yourself, your RW will think that you are boring or uptight.  No one wants to be bored.  Enjoy yourself.  Enjoy what is unfolding.  Help her enjoy her time with you.

If you are paranoid, you will not enjoy yourself.  Although you do need to keep your eyes open, you need to relax with your RW. You could make her "nervous."   

With this process, a man will receive many signs, and most of these will come in a hazy cloud.  During the day with her, relax and have fun.  At night think about what happened and deliberate with yourself about whether a pattern is apparent.

Having come this far,  give her the benefit of the doubt.  You are not scammed until money changes hands.  Until then, have some fun.

[Andrew]

I think Gator hit the nail on the head: Paranoia. Most likely.
I remember my first year. It was all paranoia. In hindsight it was really stupid on my part and had I given into it I think I would still be looking. You've got to, somehow, find a way to push it to the back of your mind and move forward. Live for now and get on with it. Remember, you can repent at leisure  but if you keep reading things that may not even be there, you're not going to get anywhere.
Life's a journey, enjoy the ride.

[Taz]

In general it was a very good sign you "introduced" you to her mother. Be very careful to cultivate that relationship very carefully. While there are women who will claim their family has no input on their decisions, in my experience that has very rarely been the case. The absolute women I ever met (until recently) was prevented from marrying me by her family. So don't overlook the influence family's (especially moms) have on the woman.

Take it with a grain if she says she doesn't listen to them. Good luck and hope it continues to go well. Keep mom on your side if at all possible.

[phantom]

I enjoy the time spent with my RW, I guess I just got a little paranoid, as she didn't talk as long, after I was introduced to mom, which is good.  So, I'll just give her the benefit of the doubt, and be real nice to her mom when I see her.  I'm used to chatting by agencies with the RWs I've been dealing with, compared to this one that I was introduced to.  She pays for KB, I believe and pays when we're going to chat.  So, I'll just relax and not read anything into it and hope it continues to go well.

She even got a new bikini, asking me if I wanted to see it, I said yes, expecting her to hold it up and she took her shirt off, wearing it, which was very pleasent and then, she showed me the old one, modeling it as well.  

As for money, she never has asked for any, and I sent her a letter with International Reply Coupons, and she told me that wasn't needed, she could afford to send me letters.  I even asked if she needed help with her KBs once, to be nice and she told me thanks, but she can take care of it.  The only thing she ever asked for, was a gift, to see what my taste was, a summer dress, which I just sent.

Perhaps she was going to go and sing praises to her mother about me.

[Ravens9273]

Phantom

I know you will not read this the way I mean to present it however I am going to say this as best as I can in hopes you understand it is meant in good intentions and to help you.

I think you are seriously on the wrong pursuit.
RW want strong Men. RW look at a Man to be their provider, protector, decision maker etc...

I have read many of your posts. I have refrained from commenting. At times I felt others were too harsh but the more I read I will have to agree with them.

When a Women has you meet her mother it is one of the biggest compliments. If anything this should rid all red flags. It says she thinks enough about you that she even mentioned you to her mother. She is not hiding you or your relationship. How you came out with a red flag after that is because she said she did not feel good is so far fetched.
You have extreme paronia in you and you will not succeed on this journey. You see everything as a red flag.

Every little thing that happens you come running here asking what we think. Then when others say you are just paranoid you then start to justify the actions as not being a red flag and take the oposite side of your own parania.

I do not mean this to be insulting but it is one of those things that has to be said. You have too many issues that need to be resolved within yourself. In a sense you need to become a MAN before you can start this journey.

In your current state I will be amazed if this lady is still speaking to you after a meeting.

You seem to need constant reminders. If she does not say she loves you ever 5 minutes your going to freak out and think something is wrong. This meeting will go down the drain real fast. RW can also read a Man very well. Your weak side will be exposed very quickly.

RW want strong willed Men. By your posts you are showing to be the oposite of this.

You can take my words as you wish. I am merely trying to help save you alot of $$ and heartache. But you are in no way ready for this journey. Work on yourself first. Become a Man then begin once again.

[phantom]

Ravens 9273,

I'm 100% man, hell, I'm even secure in my manhood.  If you would have read the post, you would have seen that I had not had this experience, only chatted with agency women.  I was introduced to this lady, by a friend from the UK, through his RW wife.  So, he wasn't under that impression.  Anyway, as far as not being ready, which I am, and will be making this trip.  The problems I had, I got through them, and there were things that caused them, which I was MAN enough to endure.  Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think YOU could of.  It actually wasn't a red flag, it was just a question, as that was totally a new experience with RW for me.  But, I think I'll just read books on the subject from now on and the post here.

Wow, what a MAN you are.   

[Ravens9273]

Phantom.

I am Man Enough that a RW married me.

As far as would I have been MAN enough to endure what you went through? I cannot answer. Reason being I am MAN Enough and not weak minded to have let something get that far to have to endure.


If you are offended by my comments then that is your prerogative.
However I gave you the best advice your gonna get. MAN UP then begin your journey.

I am not gonna go back and forth like to kids arguing with you and calling names. I offered help based on what you have shown in over 300 previous posts.

Before I go I will admit I am confussed by the fact IF I HAD READ statement.
From you it is a whole different story that the girl felt ill and needed to cut off a chat session with you because she was outside of an agency?????

Are you trying to say had it been through an agency you would have had no problems and a clear understanding of it????

So Sorry I did not pick up on this. What was I thinking????

[phantom]

Whatever.

[Kuna]

phantom,

Stop over analysing things...  as Gator says, enjoy the process... but I will caution you to take things slowly.

If you let the "relationship" evolve too much before meeting face to face you run the risk of (one of you) being disappointed upon meeting. 

"Meeting the mum" is a big positive...  I hope she is realistic too about meeting (for both of your sake.

The last thing I'd suggest is that you just relax and enjoy the process.  The journey should be enjoyable...  not stressful.

[phantom]

Kuna,

Yes, you and Gator are correct.  I do tend to over analyze things.  That was an important step, meeting her mom and I should have taken it as that.  I am enjoying the process with her, very much.  I am doing things slowly, taking it slow with her, enjoying the trip, and planning our meeting.  We're both looking at things in a realistic fashion, so that is good. 

Looking at flights on line, also today, I got my Russian visa application.