Re: Wife split!

[air2007]

I met my wife in Minsk while on vacation. We were staying at the same hotel, she was from Russia. That was 5 years ago. We stayed in contact and 4 years ago I brought her here on a K1 visa. We married and I started the immigration process. During this time I was sending $700.00 per month to support her daughter (22) years old. I finally got her daughter here 6 months ago. My wife got her 10 year green card a month and a half ago. We were very happy all this time. Then one day I was paying bills and looked at my bank accounts - one account showed a money transfer for $125,000.00 to a Russian Bank. I went right to the bank and talked with the manager - He told me that my wife and another younger girl were there on a Monday and had the money transfered. I came home to talk with my wife about what she did and why? But she was gone. Bag packed jewerly gone. All my cash in the file cabinet gone. She was on her way back to Russia.

The story doesn't end there. Her and her daughter cashed a check from my business account for $9000.00. Then the credit cards were all maxed out. They bought lots of diamonds - $60,000.00 in jewelryy. There is no way I can ever recover any of it. We had joint accounts!!!

I will tell you that we were very happy together - I never seen it coming!!! She was very good at getting what she wanted.

I talked with her the other day and asked her why? Quote "I'm 46 years old and with this kind of money I can have a great life in Russia. American men are stupid and if you give them good sex they will do anything. My boyfriend waited for me all this time. We are together now. You can do what you want. You were always good to me. I'm sorry."

That US embassy in Moscow told me, "don't feel bad. Nothing we can do. We get these calls every week."

[Boethius]

The US embassy can't do anything, but you could tell her if she doesn''t wire back half of everything she took, you will pay a "brigade with a strong brigadier" (important to use those words) to take everything from her, even if it costs you another $200,000.

[Maxx2]

I met my wife in Minsk while on vacation. We were staying at the same hotel, she was from Russia. That was 5 years ago. We stayed in contact and 4 years ago I brought her here on a K1 visa. We married and I started the immigration process. During this time I was sending $700.00 per month to support her daughter (22) years old. I finally got her daughter here 6 months ago. My wife got her 10 year green card a month and a half ago. We were very happy all this time. Then one day I was paying bills and looked at my bank accounts - one account showed a money transfer for $125,000.00 to a Russian Bank. I went right to the bank and talked with the manager - He told me that my wife and another younger girl were there on a Monday and had the money transfered. I came home to talk with my wife about what she did and why? But she was gone. Bag packed jewerly gone. All my cash in the file cabinet gone. She was on her way back to Russia.

The story doesn't end there. Her and her daughter cashed a check from my business account for $9000.00. Then the credit cards were all maxed out. They bought lots of diamonds - $60,000.00 in jewelryy. There is no way I can ever recover any of it. We had joint accounts!!!

I will tell you that we were very happy together - I never seen it coming!!! She was very good at getting what she wanted.

I talked with her the other day and asked her why? Quote "I'm 46 years old and with this kind of money I can have a great life in Russia. American men are stupid and if you give them good sex they will do anything. My boyfriend waited for me all this time. We are together now. You can do what you want. You were always good to me. I'm sorry."

That US embassy in Moscow told me, "don't feel bad. Nothing we can do. We get these calls every week."

This post should be it's own thread. This is quite a dramatic story. Very sorry this happened.

Maxx

[Simoni]

Air-- your money disappeared into thin air?

I'm very sorry to read what happened to you, Air.  I wish you the best.  I think Boethius has given you some interesting advice...it might just work.

I agree that mods should split this off as a new thread; maybe Wife splits II ?

[air2007]

Let me finish this shameful event!!! First I want to tell you that I LOVED this woman with all my heart and would have done anything for her. She knew that and that's what I don't understand? My children loved this woman also. My first wife left me 30 years ago and left me the children. I spent my life single, making sure my children would have a wonderful future ahead of them. I feel like the biggest fool in the world!!! I'm so ashamed of myself!!! My wife worked for me. I paid her $20.00 per hour. My employees have said nothing to me regarding my wife. Maybe, they seen something I didn't?

Every time we went to Russia her cousin ALEX would be there. She would call him always from the US. In Russia, they some times would be gone all day. ALEX I found out is her boyfriend. Last year we tried to get him a visa, but for some reason the US Embassy turned him down.

I'm very angry at the bank!!! How could they have done this without giving me some sort of notice? She had to sign papers that go to the IRS. As soon as the money was received - it was removed from that bank and we can't find where they put it.

The strange part about my wife is that she keeps calling me. I now have a tape recorder on my phone. My lawyer told me that in order to pull her green card we have to prove fraud on her part. I know she wants to come back into the US - remember, her daughter is here. I believe the man her daughter married was paid by my wife. I never want this woman back in our country!!! I believe the only reason she calls is that she is trying to find out what I'm doing. It's fuuny... She keeps asking me, "Oh... You must be very angry at me." The truth is, I'm not angry, I'm shocked!!!

I look back at our lives together trying to find a RED FLAG? I can't. She was good at her craft!!!

ASHAMED IN THE MIDWEST!!!

[Ravens9273]

I met my wife in Minsk while on vacation. We were staying at the same hotel, she was from Russia. That was 5 years ago. We stayed in contact and 4 years ago I brought her here on a K1 visa. We married and I started the immigration process. During this time I was sending $700.00 per month to support her daughter (22) years old. I finally got her daughter here 6 months ago. My wife got her 10 year green card a month and a half ago. We were very happy all this time. Then one day I was paying bills and looked at my bank accounts - one account showed a money transfer for $125,000.00 to a Russian Bank. I went right to the bank and talked with the manager - He told me that my wife and another younger girl were there on a Monday and had the money transfered. I came home to talk with my wife about what she did and why? But she was gone. Bag packed jewerly gone. All my cash in the file cabinet gone. She was on her way back to Russia.

The story doesn't end there. Her and her daughter cashed a check from my business account for $9000.00. Then the credit cards were all maxed out. They bought lots of diamonds - $60,000.00 in jewelryy. There is no way I can ever recover any of it. We had joint accounts!!!

I will tell you that we were very happy together - I never seen it coming!!! She was very good at getting what she wanted.

I talked with her the other day and asked her why? Quote "I'm 46 years old and with this kind of money I can have a great life in Russia. American men are stupid and if you give them good sex they will do anything. My boyfriend waited for me all this time. We are together now. You can do what you want. You were always good to me. I'm sorry."

That US embassy in Moscow told me, "don't feel bad. Nothing we can do. We get these calls every week."

To avoid writting something that would get me in alot of trouble here I must say air2007 you are a much better person then me.
Had I been in your shoes I will just say that she and ALEX would not have had the chance to enjoy that money. That is for sure. I will leave the descriptive details out.

Best of luck to you. Hope somehow you can find a way to get your money back and put this B#$%$ in her place.

[Boethius]

Let me finish this shameful event!!! First I want to tell you that I LOVED this woman with all my heart and would have done anything for her. She knew that and that's what I don't understand? My children loved this woman also. My first wife left me 30 years ago and left me the children. I spent my life single, making sure my children would have a wonderful future ahead of them. I feel like the biggest fool in the world!!! I'm so ashamed of myself!!! My wife worked for me. I paid her $20.00 per hour. My employees have said nothing to me regarding my wife. Maybe, they seen something I didn't?

Every time we went to Russia her cousin ALEX would be there. She would call him always from the US. In Russia, they some times would be gone all day. ALEX I found out is her boyfriend. Last year we tried to get him a visa, but for some reason the US Embassy turned him down.

I'm very angry at the bank!!! How could they have done this without giving me some sort of notice? She had to sign papers that go to the IRS. As soon as the money was received - it was removed from that bank and we can't find where they put it.

The strange part about my wife is that she keeps calling me. I now have a tape recorder on my phone. My lawyer told me that in order to pull her green card we have to prove fraud on her part. I know she wants to come back into the US - remember, her daughter is here. I believe the man her daughter married was paid by my wife. I never want this woman back in our country!!! I believe the only reason she calls is that she is trying to find out what I'm doing. It's fuuny... She keeps asking me, "Oh... You must be very angry at me." The truth is, I'm not angry, I'm shocked!!!

I look back at our lives together trying to find a RED FLAG? I can't. She was good at her craft!!!

ASHAMED IN THE MIDWEST!!!

You can't blame the bank.  Your account was jointly held.

Alex was the red flag. 

She is keeping in touch to try to gauge legal activities, probably to determine whether you are taking action to have her green card pulled.   She could say you were abusing her, she had to return to Russia, etc.  I think you should forget about trying to pull her green card.  Don't waste your money and energy. 

You won't get any legal support, or official support in Russia.  The US Embassy gave you good advice on this.

Tell her you have a Russian friend in the US who is helping you find a brigade (important, because criminals are more likely to help another Russian than a foreigner).  If you want to see any of your cash back, you will have to negotiate (the reason I suggest you ask for half).  You can tell her if she doesn't give half back, you will have your Russian friend let the brigade know she has half a million dollars stolen from you.  Tell her you've already written off the cash.  You want it back for your children, but if she is going to refuse, you'd prefer criminals, rather than her, to have it.  Unless your wife is part of the criminal underworld, this will put her at risk for shakedowns by criminals, especially if she lives in a smaller center.  Harsh?  Yes.  But you should think of your children. 

Get some counselling to put it behind you.  Don't let this destroy or embitter you.

[air2007]

Dear Boethius,
     I understand where you are coming from. However, I've never hurt anyone in my life and will not start now. If I go to their level than I am no better than they are. Shame on them!!!

     Her daughter and new husband were here two hours ago with an email from my wife stating them she gives them permission to remove her personal belongings. They also wanted her car. I told them to leave my home before I call the police. The man her daughter married is also Russian and a citizen of the US. I'm sure my wife paid him. They left my home and right now I am having the locks changed. Also, I will be puting in an alarm system this coming week. I only wish I knew their next step?

[Boethius]

How will this hurt her?  I'm not suggesting you actually contact a criminal, just make the threat.

Get a restraining order against the daughter.

[SANDRO43]

Get a restraining order against the daughter.

Even before that, consider getting some relevant legal advice on the options available to you under the circumstances, if you haven't done so already .

[Mod2]

Topic has been split from the original thread.

[BC]

If there are no avenues for legal recourse then best to just move on.

Dear Boethius,
     I understand where you are coming from. However, I've never hurt anyone in my life and will not start now. If I go to their level than I am no better than they are. Shame on them!!!

air2007, I applaud your attitude.

Your intent was honorable and that is priceless.  Revenge will only spoil.

Had a somewhat similar situation with an ex, albeit lower amounts.  Her 'fortune' was quite temporary.

I sleep well without baggage.

[air2007]

Yes... I have contacted my lawyer. Not much help. I had her when she called my cell - if only I could have that recorded that would have been it for her!!! I'm hoping she will email me or call me and repeat what she told me on my cell. I'm sure her daughter has called her and told her what happened today. That could make my wife angry enough for her to say something stupid?

I'm thinking of flying to Russia and hiring a lawyer that has good connections with Judges. As we all know - their all corrupt. My government will do nothing for me!

My children have been a great support for me and you guys have been Fantastic!!! Thank You all for your advice and support.

[SANDRO43]

I'm thinking of flying to Russia and hiring a lawyer that has good connections with Judges. As we all know - their all corrupt.

I'm no expert, but that doesn't sound like a particularly bright idea to me . Your ex and Alex are probably much more familiar with that environment and its 'customs' - an uninformed AM coming out of the blue would likely be sharks' bait there, and face additional 'problems' .

Yes... I have contacted my lawyer. Not much help.

Does your lawyer have experience in immigration/divorce law? If not, find someone more qualified/experienced  in that specific area of the law.

[Maxx2]

I too have got some experience along this subject

"Moving on" is akin to rolling over and letting them get away with it. It will always eat at you if you do not make a try at getting some justice.

 1) Let her think you are going to be passive and let her and her boyfriend get away with it.

 
She bought diamonds because they are easy to smuggle into Russia or she converted them while in the US over into currency. Diamonds by the way have a poor resale value in comparison to gold. She would have been smarter to use her credit cards to purchase gold bullion coin with a few percentage mark up. Then cash those in for currency.

You could contact www.Russian-Detective.com . I have used them in the past and they have given me honest service. Elena Garret who owns this agency lives in Texas with her husband. She has a Russian partner, a Mr. Matashin who is a former major in the Ryazan police department. He is the head detective. They have other detectives located in all the major cities in the FSU who do contract work for R-D. Matushin often personally takes the more complex cases such as yours but works with these other detectives as well. What these detectives do is that they have contacts in the police and FSB (formally the KGB). These were former colleagues of theirs and have remained friends. This is useful as the police or FSB can be contacted to get information or to cut through red tape. Of course money is involved. As example, you want to get some information from a Belorussian bureaucracy that would normally take three months. A arranged call to the agency by the 'FSB' (the Belorussian equivalent of) will get them to hand over what is needed to your detective immediately. Also can be arranged is visit by the FSB to your wife and her boyfriend to have a "casual friendly conversation" about all the money in her account. Russians are scared of the FSB and do not want to be noticed by them. When the FSB says to do something there is no choice but to comply. Also it is no trick to find out what banks your wife uses and what her account numbers are and so on. Anyway you get the idea. You want to get as much intel as you can get before you fly over there. Work with the pros and develop a good well thought out plan before doing anything.

America justice is trickier. Getting her 10 year LPR card revoked is a bit more difficult. Try contacting jnSampson on my website. He has a consulting/investigation business and 27 years experience in the USCIS/ICE.  

Try not to let this eat you up too much. Moving on is a good idea . . .  when the time is right.


Maxx

[ambach123]

Air, it is water under the bridge, there is no point crying over split milk, and don't throw good money after bad.

For the past one year, I have stated repeatedly that you should not have joint accounts with your RW, that is a sign of poor judgment if not stupidity. Cars, house, whatever posession you have, if you earned them, they belong to you, you should have the title. And only a complete idiot would marry without a prenup, but it happens every day.

It is all over now, she is out of the jurisdiction of American courts, and the Russian courts will consider you another American fool. The embassy in Moscow told you correctly, it happens all the time.  People never learn. This RW as well as other RW call American men as " Stupid Americans ", on all the boards where RW visit.

Reading this story, is there a doubt?
There is nothing more to do, move on, and please don't waste any more of your money, if you have any left,  on a wild goose chase. You need to cut your losses.

I apologize if I come across too harsh, but I am flabbergasted that people are unwilling to take even one ounce of prevention, and have blinders on.
This occurs with regular frequency, it begs the question, people who seek RW, are they of low intelligence in general, and can't understand the risks involved?

[Simoni]

I too have got some experience along this subject

"Moving on" is akin to rolling over and letting them get away with it. It will always eat at you if you do not make a try at getting some justice.

This is horrible advice.  To get well, you need to forgive and forget.  Don't be a Maxx and be hanging on to this years from now.  Move on.

Air, it is water under the bridge, there is no point crying over split milk, and don't throw good money after bad.

This is the advice you should be listening to.

[Simoni]

Also, if you live in a community property state, she would be entitled to half the money anyway.   And by the time you paid 50 grand for a divorce attorney, the money would be nill.

Don't tear yourself up trying to get revenge.  If you do, you'll mostly be hurting yourself, and not her.

[Maxx2]

Don't be a Maxx and be hanging on to this years from now.  Move on.

It's my hobby. I have gold refining business that keeps me busy and provides for my life outside these boards. This notion that justice is revenge is just a way to get us to take what ever is dished out to us. I don't buy it. Too bad you and others allow injustice and outright criminality to happen without a fight.

Maxx  

[Boethius]

Going to Russia would be useless.  Russians will not help a foreigner in this situation.  And in case it was not clear, my suggestion is not to actually deal with a criminal, just to threaten her so that she will return cash to you.

Community property applies only to assets acquired during the marriage, or for which there has been an increase during the marriage.  So, if your business was worth $1000 and, at the date of separation, was worth $2000, your ex would receive $500.  If it decreased in value (which may have occurred, given the drop in the economy from the date of your marriage), she would not be entitled to anything vis a vis property.  A judge could, however, order you pay spousal support, as this is discretionary.  The fact she took off with $200,000 in assets would be held against her.

[ambach123]

Let us not start name calling. The long and short of this is that it is over. She got the money and gone.

Air, let me ask you; suppose you own a BMW, you take it to the city, roll the windows and leave the keys in the car; it is stolen. Who is to blame you or the thief? I think you.
RW do not, I repeat do not adjust well to USA, this is something you knew or should have known. The older they are the worse it is. They yearn for their homeland. Here she saw an opportunity to get cash and return home; her behaviour is anticipated, and you remained clueless. She does not dislike you, she may even like you, but that is irrelevant, she saw an opportunity she could not pass up; these women think differently, you should have been smart enough to protect yourself, you were not. She considers it your flaw. She does not have anything against you, she thinks you are stupid to give her an opportunity to do what she did.
Why do the RW who don't adjust sitll stay? Lack of a better option. You give them optons they will exercise, whether going home, or upgrading. And they will consider you stupid for giving them the options.

A man who protects his property( even from them), in their eyes is a " strong " man and to be respected.

These are quite elementary things, I can't understand why it does not register with AM in this pursuit.

[Kuna]

Let us not start name calling. The long and short of this is that it is over. She got the money and gone.

Air, let me ask you; suppose you own a BMW, you take it to the city, roll the windows and leave the keys in the car; it is stolen. Who is to blame you or the thief? I think you.
RW do not, I repeat do not adjust well to USA, this is something you knew or should have known. The older they are the worse it is. They yearn for their homeland. Here she saw an opportunity to get cash and return home; her behaviour is anticipated, and you remained clueless. She does not dislike you, she may even like you, but that is irrelevant, she saw an opportunity she could not pass up; these women think differently, you should have been smart enough to protect yourself, you were not. She considers it your flaw. She does not have anything against you, she thinks you are stupid to give her an opportunity to do what she did.
Why do the RW who don't adjust sitll stay? Lack of a better option. You give them optons they will exercise, whether going home, or upgrading. And they will consider you stupid for giving them the options.

A man who protects his property( even from them), in their eyes is a " strong " man and to be respected.

These are quite elementary things, I can't understand why it does not register with AM in this pursuit.

Yes yes yes... just let us know when you get back from your next sex tour.

You're not married... you've not been in a significant relationship with a RW (even the ones you promised marriage to and dumped - or were dumped by them).

You make a lot of assumptions for a man so inexperienced - and you always have!

Shite happens...  certainly seems to have happened here for the OP - BUT anyone that talks about RW like they are factory manufactured clones (without individuality) is an idiot.

They are all different just like we are all different. 

ambach... the truth is as simple as that!

[KenC]

Air,
Sorry to hear of your heartbreak.  I know all too well that this is a time of extreme emotional stress for you.  My heart sincerely goes out to you.

That being said, it will be difficult, but you need to address the rational nonemotional side of this.  Boethius seems to have the best grip on reality here IMO. Take a calculator to this and see where you stand in regard to community property.  If the amount of money your future ex wife took is any where close to 50% of the amount you gained during the marriage; walk away and heal your heart.  BTW, take at least $50K in lawyer fees that you would be solely responsible for into account.

Now, if the amount she took is grossly over the  50% community property figure, then it is at least worth the bluff Boethius has suggested.  Do not look at it as stooping to her level, look at it as an opportunity to extract some fairness from what has been perpetrated on you.

Just for the record, to judge all RW by the actions of this one is retarded.
KenC

[Simoni]

Community property applies only to assets acquired during the marriage, or for which there has been an increase during the marriage.  So, if your business was worth $1000 and, at the date of separation, was worth $2000, your ex would receive $500.  If it decreased in value (which may have occurred, given the drop in the economy from the date of your marriage), she would not be entitled to anything vis a vis property.

Better be careful of legal advice dispensed by a poster in Canada for a specific US state.  What is stated was my understanding too, until I experienced a divorce.  In reality, in the state where I lived, when monies were "intermingled,"  they became community property, even if you had the bulk of the account or accounts before marriage.  You'll need to consult an attorney in your state to accurately determine this, Air.   Good luck!

[Simoni]

This notion that justice is revenge is just a way to get us to take what ever is dished out to us. I don't buy it. Too bad you and others allow injustice and outright criminality to happen without a fight.

Maxx, I do think your warnings are important and should be repeated. For that purpose, I'm glad you are here and I believe you provide a valuable warning to newbies.  However, when it comes to healing of the individual, I think they need to let it go and move on.  That is what I recommend Air to do...