Thanks JC for posting.
I read through this thread very closely.
I have made four trips during the last year, meeting with three women each for about ten days, meeting one of them twice. I broke off the relationship soon after I met with them, two of them accepted it and moved on. One of them, the one that I met with twice, always kept in touch with notes, cards etc.
Last month she sent me a news item that how love and sex can improve your life; in the subject matter she wrote " If only we were so lucky" and asked if we could meet again. I plan to see her again next month.
She is 32 and wants to have children ASAP; I would like to waite until she gets settled if she gets here. She was never married before. I guess it is a good sign when a woman decides who the father of her children would be.
I am reluctant for many reasons.
The difficulties you describe are real ones, I must be congnizant of them. Though if we have children may be she would not be so bored. I live in a city with a train station down the street. But her isolation concerns me, I am not sure if she has considered this. Did you consider that you would feel so isolated in a new country, before coming there? I certainly don't want to be married to an unhappy woman, for whatever reason(s) she is unhappy.
Of course, I have seen so many train wrecks here, that caution is a must for anyone in this pursuit.
I am unable to decide what to do.
I can't believe I'm going to do this but I'm goign to give you some honest advice.
My wife fell pregnant soon after moving here and I think it was the best thing that could have happened. We lived city centre within a few minutes walk of a river ferry that took her to the CBD 3 minutes away. My family lived deep in the suburbs and all of my friends (and their wives) worked so there was no opportunity to build a social network that way.
My wife has purposely gone out of her way to NOT build a social network of Russian expats because she didn't want to make friends with someone JUST because they were Russian... she wanted to develop friendships with people who shared similar interests.
Anyway... being pregnant gave her something to focus on... Her changing body didn't ALWAYS please her but there was always something to talk about at night as she'd been reading on the internet... planning the nursery and all of the things we needed to buy... and talking to her family and friends on the phone.
It was demanding for me too because trips to the doctors/radiologists on top of the normal settling in time committment time needed meant it was a VERY busy time.
I think ALL women take a little time to settle in but some have different experiences.
In hindsight, my wife's pregnancy during the first year of arrival was a good thing.
