how long to adjust to life in us?

[remiel6]

February 13 to June 1 for interview. That is very quick. I think both her and I would be very, very happy to have the same time frame. Either way I have prepared for the latest and will hope for the best. I can imagine the change might be harder coming from urban area to rural area. That might just be me though as I've always lived either in a city or in suburbia. When I went to her mothers house I was amazed. Her mother lives, in a village, which was where the fiance grew up and it was very small. I know I would struggle to adjust to living for a long period in a rural area and I was born here. I would find it hard to ask "I have to drive how far to get to the movie theater?"   Out of curiosity do you live on the Michigan side of lake Michigan or the Wisconsin side?
She is a very patient person and I imagine this process will test that patience a lot.

[Misha]

I think we have to be careful not contain our wives reminiscing about their former homes. 

I agree that people will to a certain extent always have a certain nostalgia about their former homes. I am nostalgic at times about my childhood on a farm. However, at some point, people will pay less and less attention to the differences between past lives and present lives. They will live their lives in their new countries without noticing the differences, without continually being reminded that they are in another country, without thinking "in my country we used to do it this way." Yes, they may be nostalgic from time to time, but they will come to take for granted that how they live in the present is the "normal" way of doing things.

[Kuna]

I agree that people will to a certain extent always have a certain nostalgia about their former homes. I am nostalgic at times about my childhood on a farm. However, at some point, people will pay less and less attention to the differences between past lives and present lives. They will live their lives in their new countries without noticing the differences, without continually being reminded that they are in another country, without thinking "in my country we used to do it this way." Yes, they may be nostalgic from time to time, but they will come to take for granted that how they live in the present is the "normal" way of doing things.

Yep, I know what you mean...and trust me...  I dream of the day my wife stops complaining about bread! 

Here's something "kinda related"...

Reminiscing over the homeland probably requires some desire to be back there.  My wife settled in here quickly but quietly struggled through her adjustment phase.  She says most of her struggle was just feeling like everything (conversations, outings, etc) was moving in fast forward...

...  BUT, she says she isn't pining for home, and never has, because she is embarrassed of the Ukrainian Government and their actions, abuse of the people, lack of control over corruption, crime, health and education, etc...  but she does miss her friends.

I think if she could transport one or two of her best friends (childhood friends) here she'd never want to go back.  (Interesting story about who those friends are that I should post one day).

[Misha]

I think if she could transport one or two of her best friends (childhood friends) here she'd never want to go back.  (Interesting story about who those friends are that I should post one day).

Same here. Just add her mother to the friends, and my wife would be set never to return.

[Simoni]

... I dream of the day my wife stops complaining about bread! 

Never give up hope.  My wife stopped complaining about the bread about six months ago.  Just last week she was complaining about another Ukrainian woman, a friend, who was complaining about the bread here!  She said "why doesn't she just to to (named bakery).

[Misha]

Never give up hope. 

I found a nice solution. I bake our own rye bread at home  However, my wife has put us on a diet this summer, so haven't baked in a while

[SANDRO43]

I found a nice solution. I bake our own rye bread at home

That may be a good solution .

Aahh, bread, one of the most delicious fares, if properly done. There are two basic types, unleavened and leavened, the latter using baking powder or yeast and producing a crisper loaf with an almost empty interior which personally I prefer, like our Milanese michetta, called rosetta in Rome because it reminds of the petals of that flower. When I was young, a loaf bought late in the morning would remain crisp until the following day, now it's spongy a few hours later - industrial baking has killed good bread .

A pity that most youngsters cannot really know now what good bread really tastes like, our afternoon snacks simply consisted of a michetta cut in half and spread with butter and some jam, or just a sprinkle of sugar if family finances were a bit hard up.

When I lived in London, I was desperate for decent bread - their much publicised Hovis is just toast bread - until I found a French baker's selling baguettes. IINM, I already recounted how some years ago the Mayor of Paris issued a city regulation that bakers could call their shops Boulangeries only if they had ovens and produced their bread in-house. I haven't been to Paris for many years, but I still remember the crispness of their baguettes, and the full taste of the yellowish butter in the small pot they put on your table in their restaurants.

Even if it's midnight now here, I may just pop a frozen michetta into my oven for 10 minutes and make myself a sandwich with some prosciutto, all this reminiscing is giving me a late appetite .

[myrddin]

All this bread talk is making me hungry.
I immediately adapt to the food when I am in Ukraine!

I guess I'm sort of a bread connoisseur, and I miss the FSU stuff when I'm home.  It would be easier to avoid the carbs if "Odessa Market" hadn't opened nearby.  It's almost as good as the real stuff, and way better than most American fare.

 Bread is highly underappreciated in the US, perhaps because most of it is simply not all that good.  Even the all-American hamburger is often brought down when prime beef is put on subpar buns.  I've learned to avoid beef in UA. And even after several people told me to not bother with bacon, I had to confirm it myself.

Um, it's dinnertime here, sorry.  What was this thread about?   

[SANDRO43]

I guess I'm sort of a bread connoisseur

In that case I should mention a rare delicacy, Ferrara's bread, a biscuit-like bread with a unique flavour and very unusual shape. My mother hailed from there, a town near Bologna, and we brought kilos of it back home whenever we went visiting, it'd remain crisp for a whole WEEK .

Unfortunately, it's almost impossible to get it outside its native area, I sampled it here in Milan occasionally but no comparison at all . Last time I was there, some 5 years ago, it was still as I remembered, God bless Ferrara's bakers for not changing their old ways .

[SANDRO43]

And even after several people told me to not bother with bacon, I had to confirm it myself.

Bacon was a serious disappointment to me, it's only good for frying, possibly.

The first time I came to the USA, in the summer of 1991, I wanted to prepare myself a staple Italian cold dish, prosciutto e melone (ham and cantaloupe). The local supermarkets had plenty of cantaloupes but no decent-looking ham, so I though I'd try bacon instead, after all it's from pork bellies and I thought it'd taste somewhat like our pancetta (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pancetta).

Ugh, I dropped my fork quickly after my first bite of raw bacon, and threw away the rest .

[myrddin]

In that case I should mention a rare delicacy, Ferrara's bread, a biscuit-like bread with a unique flavour and very unusual shape. My mother hailed from there, a town near Bologna, and we brought kilos of it back home whenever we went visiting, it'd remain crisp for a whole WEEK .

Unfortunately, it's almost impossible to get it outside its native area

Taunter!

Sigh, I suppose if I can go to Ukraine for a woman I can go to Italy for bread. But you're almost as bad as a scammer! 

Hmm, actually it would be nice to visit Italy.  I'm not aware that I have any Italian heritage, but I've tried to make up for it by eating copious quantities of Italian food (a local favorite restaurant once had an "unlimited bread" policy until my younger brother and I went there twice in one week).

And while bacon can definitely vary in the US, there is some good stuff here.  Prosciutto is prosciutto, it seems substitutes don't work (we had prosciutto at my American wedding - I'm pretty sure it was the real thing ).

[remiel6]

So I can add bread to the list of things that she will miss  lol. I never would have contemplated bread, but at least now I am forwarned. Perhaps I should look up information on how to make bread, as I've never made bread myself in my life and wouldn't have the foggiest idea how to start. Perhaps we can do it together and it can be a bonding experience.

[Simoni]

So I can add bread to the list of things that she will miss  lol. I never would have contemplated bread, but at least now I am forwarned. Perhaps I should look up information on how to make bread, as I've never made bread myself in my life and wouldn't have the foggiest idea how to start. Perhaps we can do it together and it can be a bonding experience.

There is no solution, Remie.  They just need to complain to release frustration.  What they complain about usually has little connection to reality :-)

Fortunately, that soon will pass...

[Kuna]

So I can add bread to the list of things that she will miss  lol. I never would have contemplated bread, but at least now I am forwarned. Perhaps I should look up information on how to make bread, as I've never made bread myself in my life and wouldn't have the foggiest idea how to start. Perhaps we can do it together and it can be a bonding experience.

 

Bonding???  more likely infuriating I think.

remiel... all of the banter over bread is our way of making fun of a common disappointment among many immigrants but I can assure you there will be many things.

My stepfather was Latvian he was a part of my wife from an early age.  I cannot remember him every eating a piece of bread without complaining about it.  I never understood until my first trip to Latvia and Ukraine...

Disappointments like this will come up for your wife and at times I've seen some men react very negatively when their wives complain about the differences.

Don't feel frustrated or offended if your wife misses things from home - or complains about things in your shops/home/town/etc. She will and should have opinions and her reference points in life will be different than yours - and therefore she will undoubtedly have some different tastes and opinions.

Be patient, learn from her as much as she will learn from you, try to find the fun in the differences and help her seek out products she enjoys without making too big of a deal about it.

I found the adjustment period to be fascinating but I promise you no matter how much patience you think you'll need, multiply it by 5 (at least).  Patience and Understanding are the keys to the adjustment period.

Good luck... you'll do fine!

[SANDRO43]

(a local favorite restaurant once had an "unlimited bread" policy until my younger brother and I went there twice in one week).

Had? No longer? "Unlimited bread" or grissini (bread sticks) is standard in our restaurants, you can empty the first basket and ask for another without problems, it's included in the coperto (cover charge).

Of course, some "greedy" customers may overeat their welcome. The owner of a nearby restaurant told me how he had almost thrown out a Spanish tourist because she had emptied the bowl of grated Parmesan into her then empty pasta dish, lapped it up with bread and had had the nerve to ask for a refill - Parmesan is slightly more expensive than bread. 

[groovlstk]

So I can add bread to the list of things that she will miss  lol. I never would have contemplated bread, but at least now I am forwarned. Perhaps I should look up information on how to make bread, as I've never made bread myself in my life and wouldn't have the foggiest idea how to start. Perhaps we can do it together and it can be a bonding experience.

My wife missed her Russian bread too. If you have a Russian market nearby, you'll save yourself a lot of these little inconveniences.

[GoodOlBoy]

Hello Remeil6.

Years ago when I was haunting RWG, someone posted several ideas about making your future RW adjustment to the GoodOl' USA easier.

One of his suggestions was a subscription to "B HOBOM CBETE".

It is a Russian rag published out of NY.

The paper usually has 45-50 pages and the company is VERY punctual with the weekly mailing.

My wife has enjoyed it so much over the last 4 years that we have renewed her subscription every year.

Their telephone number is: (212) 482-0303.

The lady that answers the telephone speaks Russian and English.

1 year (52 issues) is $39.  6 months (26) is $22.

Good Luck!



GOB


PS.......I agree about the "bread"......watch out for the "milk" also.

[Daveman]

 

Well, didn't think this was quite worth a new thread, but wanted to ask... What exactly is the deal with the Russian bread?  I guess I've eaten a truck load of various kinds over there, but it doesn't seem to be extraordinarily different from fresh breads we have here.. perhaps I'm not enough of a bread connoisseur to be able to distinguish the rich bouquet and other subtleties of the palate.  What makes it so different that all of them seem to miss it so much?  :noidea:

[groovlstk]

Well, didn't think this was quite worth a new thread, but wanted to ask... What exactly is the deal with the Russian bread?  I guess I've eaten a truck load of various kinds over there, but it doesn't seem to be extraordinarily different from fresh breads we have here.. perhaps I'm not enough of a bread connoisseur to be able to distinguish the rich bouquet and other subtleties of the palate.  What makes it so different that all of them seem to miss it so much?  :noidea:

I never liked Russian bread, it's too dense. My wife and her expat friends love it though, and only grudgingly settle for Italian or whatever the local bakeries make.

[Simoni]

Right, dense is the word :-)

[Misha]

I've never made bread myself in my life and wouldn't have the foggiest idea how to start. Perhaps we can do it together and it can be a bonding experience.

I never knew how to bake bread either until I started experimenting. It actually isn't that hard. My trick for rye bread: I cook two loaves on a pizza stone. Bread is actually quite forgiving: it is hard to completely botch the process.

[remiel6]

I look forward to those little differences. I expect them. I know when I lived in Australia I referred back to my experiences back home. Some of the things different I liked and some I did not like. So bread will now be added to the list as I am sure will be many other things. and Dave, I am not much of bread connoisseur myself so I hear ya, but yes it does seem to be more dense. I'll have to look to see if there is a Russian market nearby here. I know there is a restaurant that is owned by a Ukrainian couple, perhaps they know where I can get some.

[Misha]

Bonding???  more likely infuriating I think.

Kneading is a good way to vent frustration

[kievstar]

I like the Georgian bread but find the Russian and Ukraine bread to be average.  You can find good bread in the USA if you know where to go.

Europeans really get off on bread.  

[remiel6]

now there's an idea, instead of her throwing monopoly pieces at me we can knead bread  On the bright side we will have lots of bread  on the not so bright side it might not taste very good because i don't know how to make it