I met a girl under special circumstances

[Misha]

My point was that all the guys here claiming prostitution is this and that and all the sex workers are fallen and ruined for life women, im saying FOR A PROPER PRICE NEARLY ANYONE IS FOR SALE, so their words are hypocritical, because for N amount they would do it themselves

I don't believe that prostitutes are fallen and ruined women. However, I would still not want to marry a woman who has been a high end prostitute for 10 years. Let's imagine this hypothetical woman who is earning close to $30,000 a month. Could she be really happy being with a man with a net income that would be five or ten times less? What kind of job could she then get afterwards? Unless she was working at the same time at another job, it might be difficult for her to recycle herself into another career. So, given these facts, it might be quite difficult for her to fit into an average life where if money is short any given month, she can't just go see a few clients to help pay the mortgage  

Then, there is the question as to whether she could truly enter into a stable, loving relationship based on trust. She has been in a profession where the goal was to sweet talk men, play to their fantasies, in order to earn money. How could she make the transition to being in a normal marriage with all its usual ups and downs? It would be difficult to say the least.

Again, given all these challenges, I would opt for a woman who has a less checkered past. In the case of the OP (if he is real), the fact that she is/was a prostitute will get out. He has a friend who knows. At some point he will blab, others will blab and everybody that he knows will find out. Would he be comfortable with this? Would he mind if his mother knew that his wife is an ex-prostitute? Or if the subject came up around his Thanksgiving Day table  :evil:

[Misha]

Too early, hit the quote instead of modify button  :evil:

[KenC]

Aloe,
Your unrealistic hypothetical proposition is hardly relevant and certainly does not make anyone a hypocrate.  The question here is not if most or any will sell their virtue at a high price.  Would you rub you bare titties in a strange man's face and rub your crotch on him for $20 a song?  Or would you satisfy an unknown man's sexual desires for $200 an hour?  Those are a much more realistic range for the pay scale and services provided.
KenC
(Misha, good post)

[NJ]

Aloe,
Your unrealistic hypothetical proposition is hardly relevant and certainly does not make anyone a hypocrate.  The question here is not if most or any will sell their virtue at a high price.  Would you rub you bare titties in a strange man's face and rub your crotch on him for $20 a song?  Or would you satisfy an unknown man's sexual desires for $200 an hour?  Those are a much more realistic range for the pay scale and services provided

I got one more question. Would you marry your husband if you got to know that he did this with many different men or women? That were sometimes dirty, very old, sick etc.

Why so many people here describe prostitution as something nice. What is the number of prostitutes that really cost above 1000 usd per hour? That really choose clients?
The truth is that there are very few. All the rest do it for very small money, share this money with pimps, meet guys by phone call when they dont even know what do this guys look like, drink and smoke a lot.
There is nothing romantic in this profession and Im really sorry for the woman that do it. But would i approve if any of my friends told me he has relationships with prostitute? Hell no.

Talking about the high class of this woman that lets her amke 28 000 per month. TOTAL BS. OP, you have a chance to ask guys that invited her to the party when you met how much they payed her. Even if it was 1000, at least 5 days in a month she can't work. 25 000 is maximum. Plus her age (29) is already TOO OLD for a high-class prostitute. How did she manage to go to Sweden so often? Don't you really think she might be connected with criminal structures (mafia)? Check where (and with whom) she stayed while in Sweden.

[BillyB]

Ask yourself this question, and try to be honest with yourself: If i was single, given the opportunity, would i sleep with a woman if i was paid 10 million dollars for that?

Aloe, men.... normal men, like sex with women. Money is not a factor or motivator for most men to sell his body as a whore, most will do it for free and for fun. On the other hand will I accept any kind of money to let a man have sex with me? NO, that thought never crossed my mind. If I ever went to prison and somebody wanted to poke me, either he or I would be dead before happens. No amount money or even my life is worth letting another man have sex with me.

Ininiteluck, ask your woman when she's having sex with other customers if she's thinking about you and misses you. If she's thinking of you while someone or multiple guys are humping her, then it's safe to assume she's has feelings for you too as you already have with her. It's okay to dream as long as you wake up to reality.

[JR]

This discussion reeks of hypocrisy.

Ask yourself this question, and try to be honest with yourself: If i was single, given the opportunity, would i sleep with a woman if i was paid 10 million dollars for that?

I bet vast majority of men would answer yes. Guess what that makes you? So get off your high horses
I'm pretty damn sure many men would do it for WAY less, and LOTS and LOTS of men would do this for a living, if they could.

Aloe, your hypothetical isn't relevant. You're talking ten million in an environment you want to control. The OP's girl showed up to a party to have sex with him in front of his friends. Would you do that for 200? Would you do that three or four times a night?

Most married men could use the services of a hooker and get away with it. Most don't.

[JR]

My point was that all the guys here claiming prostitution is this and that and all the sex workers are fallen and ruined for life women, im saying FOR A PROPER PRICE NEARLY ANYONE IS FOR SALE, so their words are hypocritical, because for N amount they would do it themselves

I haven't seen anyone write or quote credible sources as saying ALL women. But it is safe to say that the profession as described in this thread by the OP adds baggage most of the time.

Again hypothetical. People can and will say one thing but when it comes to actually doing it, that is a different matter. Not everyone and everything is for sale.

[Misha]

Money is not a factor or motivator for most men to sell his body as a whore, most will do it for free and for fun.

Presumably gigolos do exist, and they will have to have sex with presumalby much older, and much less attractive women. The challenge I would presume is how to "perform" when there is no sexual attraction on his part. Could this theoretical gigolo claim Viagra as a business expense?  :evil:  

[JR]

There was a survey a decade or so ago in which people were asked if they would kill another human being for $1 million. I forget the % of people who responded YES but it was startlingly high. Does that make that % of the population hypocrites if they condemn murder and violent crime?

Clicking a box on a poll and actually killing someone are vastly different. Talk is cheap and people will say all kinds of things when in the moment. Committing premeditated murder for money isn't talk.

[BillyB]

Presumably gigolos do exist, and they will have to have sex with presumalby much older, and much less attractive women. The challenge I would presume is how to "perform" when there is no sexual attraction on his part. Could this theoretical gigolo claim Viagra as a business expense?  :evil:  

Those men are whores who place high value in money and will have sex with a very unattractive woman they have no emotional attachment with. How do they perform when there's no sexual attraction? It's the money that gets them horny.

[GQBlues]

I'm not sure if Aloe's point reaches to what I think she's leading to.

If prostitution is an act of despicable morality, then what is the difference between a person getting money for sex as opposed to a person paying money for sex. If the act in of itself (money for sex) is wrong then why would it seem only one of the participant is dirty. If it's so wrong, then why participate in the act? A case of chauvinism?

The question was raised previously, how many amongst you have had to pay for sex before? Of course, I have a feeling none of the posters here have had to pay for sex before but I thought I'd ask anyway. In case there's one amongst us, should you then be judged in the same fervor by people?

The next point then is, should potential wives be leery of men who had to pay for sex before and be judged accordingly and in the same context?

[BillyB]

If prostitution is an act of despicable morality, then what is the difference between a person getting money for sex as opposed to a person paying money for sex. If the act in of itself (money for sex) is wrong then why would it seem only one of the participant is dirty. If it's so wrong, then why participate in the act? A case of chauvinism?

The men are as guilty as the women. They promote the activity by creating a demand for it. Let's be honest with ourselves. Do we want to have our mothers, wives, sisters and daughters engaging in prostitution? We may disagree on how wrong it is but we all can agree it's wrong to some degree.

The question was raised previously, how many amongst you have had to pay for sex before? Of course, I have a feeling none of the posters here have had to pay for sex before but I thought I'd ask anyway. In case there's one amongst us, should you then be judged in the same fervor by people?

Never paid for sex but  was approached by prostitutes and tempted. I'm not a perfect man and I realize at some point of my life in my youth or when I am weak, I could have been a paying customer. But as I get older, wiser, and stronger in my beliefs that prostitution is not good for women there's much less chance for me ever being a paying customer.

The next point then is, should potential wives be leery of men who who had to pay for sex before and judge each one of them as scums?

They have the right to avoid men who's paid for sex and it's their right to think of them as scums if they wish. Their opinion is probably based off a stigma attached to men who engages commercial sex. Maybe they have an increased chance on being unfaithful, desperate, perverts, or carrying disease. Increased chances of those things is not what many women want so they decrease their chances in having a crappy marriage by avoiding those men. It's not only their right to be choosy when it comes to men, it's smart.

[GoodOlBoy]

Ininiteluck, I am curious about something.

Has your girl ever mentioned doing any "porn" (movies, magazines, etc.)?

Maybe in Russia?


GOB

[GQBlues]

The men are as guilty as the women. They promote the activity by creating a demand for it. Let's be honest with ourselves. 

I agree BillyB, which is why discussions like this is curious in of itself, IMO.

Do we want to have our mothers, wives, sisters and daughters engaging in prostitution? We may disagree on how wrong it is but we all can agree it's wrong to some degree.

Of course not, but it's still a question of what is acceptable or taboo for people as a whole. There are parts of our 'civilized' world where it's OK for men to disown, torture, stone, or even decapitate their daughters, wives or sisters for having committed adultery, promiscuity, or even pre-marital sex, let alone prostitution ~ but why do the men who partake in the act seem to get ignored. Or those who actually carries the punishment?

No such thing as a partly poisoned well, isn't it?

[SMS60]

I'm not sure if Aloe's point reaches to what I think she's leading to.

If prostitution is an act of despicable morality, then what is the difference between a person getting money for sex as opposed to a person paying money for sex. If the act in of itself (money for sex) is wrong then why would it seem only one of the participant is dirty. If it's so wrong, then why participate in the act? A case of chauvinism?

The question was raised previously, how many amongst you have had to pay for sex before? Of course, I have a feeling none of the posters here have had to pay for sex before but I thought I'd ask anyway. In case there's one amongst us, should you then be judged in the same fervor by people?

The next point then is, should potential wives be leery of men who had to pay for sex before and be judged accordingly and in the same context?

You have argued your case about this being a 2 way street. Thats good.

How do you advise the OP to move forward with his dream girl? What tips do you give him to make this work out? How should he handle the thoughts of the past when they pop into his head? How does he keep this on track? This is what the thread is about.

He wants to hear thoughts from the people who can justify this. If you can guide him Im sure he will listen.

[Misha]

The next point then is, should potential wives be leery of men who had to pay for sex before and be judged accordingly and in the same context?

I would say yes. If a woman found out that a man was continually seeking out prostitutes prior to marriage, it should certainly be factored into her decision. 

[pitbull]

You have argued your case about this being a 2 way street. Thats good.

How do you advise the OP to move forward with his dream girl? What tips do you give him to make this work out? How should he handle the thoughts of the past when they pop into his head? How does he keep this on track? This is what the thread is about.

He wants to hear thoughts from the people who can justify this. If you can guide him Im sure he will listen.

The 2 way street is applicable to the OP's situation. Obviously, he has used a prostitute at least once, and it sounds to me like paying for sex is what he does regularly. I believe, Johns are as guilty as prostitutes and should be viewed and treated the same. Therefore, everything that has been said about the OP's girl should be projected on the OP himself (no matter if one thinks prostitution is just a way to make a living or a despicable occupation).
For example, how is she supposed to "handle the thoughts of the past when they pop in her head", namely the thoughts of him using prostitutes?
The point is, the OP and the girl are EQUALs in terms of morality. They can agree to mutually ban the "thoughts". The OP just should not assume the girl is somehow "lower" than he is. They are a perfect match.

[Sculpto]

Aloe.. thank you for pointing out the hypocrisy.

Kiev.. thank you for putting some reality into the debate.

The several who have brought up the men's role in prostitution.. thank you.

In regards to the OP.  As I pointed out to him in PM, ultimately the entire thing rests in his hands.  He only has to answer one question, to himself.  Can he handle it.  He must be categorically and unequivocally honest with himself.  He needs to remove emotion and be brutally pragmatic.  If after doing so, he can honestly say to himself that he can handle it, and the risks involved, then he can go forward.  Otherwise, if he has even the slightest of doubt, he must move on.

There are forums for men who monger.  There are discussions on those forums regarding marriage to prostitutes and the risks involved.  The OP would be doing himself a big favor to find those forums and read there.  

To the so called moralists.. back in my days of being a player.. the wildest and hottest experiences I had were with uptight people like all of you.  All that repression, once released, is animalistic and wild.  I actually learned to seek out and seduce the most "moral" women I could find.  They were easy because all that nastiness was titiliating.  Just a few strategic words and they were ripping their panties off.  It is alot easy to bang a fundamentalist Christian than an atheist, and, the Christians are a lot kinkier in bed.  FACT  sorry if you are offended by that, but, I see right through your smoke screen of morality.  Most prostitutes will also tell you their kinkiest and most perverted clients are the ones who claim to be the most religious.  FACT  The sweet forbidden fruit.. oh so tasty.

[Sculpto]

Sweden's laws are actually pretty interesting.  Apparently being a hooker is not illegal.. but.. paying a hooker is..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Sweden

[SMS60]

Aloe.. thank you for pointing out the hypocrisy.

Kiev.. thank you for putting some reality into the debate.

The several who have brought up the men's role in prostitution.. thank you.

In regards to the OP.  As I pointed out to him in PM, ultimately the entire thing rests in his hands.  He only has to answer one question, to himself.  Can he handle it.  He must be categorically and unequivocally honest with himself.  He needs to remove emotion and be brutally pragmatic.  If after doing so, he can honestly say to himself that he can handle it, and the risks involved, then he can go forward.  Otherwise, if he has even the slightest of doubt, he must move on.

There are forums for men who monger.  There are discussions on those forums regarding marriage to prostitutes and the risks involved.  The OP would be doing himself a big favor to find those forums and read there.  

To the so called moralists.. back in my days of being a player.. the wildest and hottest experiences I had were with uptight people like all of you.  All that repression, once released, is animalistic and wild.  I actually learned to seek out and seduce the most "moral" women I could find.  They were easy because all that nastiness was titiliating.  Just a few strategic words and they were ripping their panties off.  It is alot easy to bang a fundamentalist Christian than an atheist, and, the Christians are a lot kinkier in bed.  FACT  sorry if you are offended by that, but, I see right through your smoke screen of morality.  Most prostitutes will also tell you their kinkiest and most perverted clients are the ones who claim to be the most religious.  FACT  The sweet forbidden fruit.. oh so tasty.

And finally, another reason for the OP to tighten up the lifevest and abandon ship.

[Sculpto]

And finally, another reason for the OP to tighten up the lifevest and abandon ship.

How so?  All I said is he has to be honest with himself.  The question is, can he do that?

[groovlstk]

To the so called moralists.. back in my days of being a player.. the wildest and hottest experiences I had were with uptight people like all of you.  All that repression, once released, is animalistic and wild.  I actually learned to seek out and seduce the most "moral" women I could find.  They were easy because all that nastiness was titiliating.  Just a few strategic words and they were ripping their panties off.  It is alot easy to bang a fundamentalist Christian than an atheist, and, the Christians are a lot kinkier in bed.  FACT  sorry if you are offended by that, but, I see right through your smoke screen of morality.  Most prostitutes will also tell you their kinkiest and most perverted clients are the ones who claim to be the most religious.  FACT  The sweet forbidden fruit.. oh so tasty.

FWIW, the 40ish guys I know who brag about their sexual exploits from previous decades were all guys that were afraid of women (when we'd go out they'd be referred to as "cigar store indians"). I know you think you're "shocking" the conservatives here but in more likelyhood you're just boring everyone.

[Sculpto]

FWIW, the 40ish guys I know who brag about their sexual exploits from previous decades were all guys that were afraid of women (when we'd go out they'd be referred to as "cigar store indians"). I know you think you're "shocking" the conservatives here but in more likelyhood you're just boring everyone.

Maybe you are right.  I plead the 5th. 

[SMS60]

How so?  All I said is he has to be honest with himself.  The question is, can he do that?

I think most people who can do that are vampires(they are hollow, no souls). I dont think the OP is like that.

[Daveman]

Heck, I have to pay for sex all the time.. I set up an FSU trip fund jar, so each time I "strike out" and have to go it alone, I have to put a buck into the jar... so far only 10k saved for the next trip... but I guess in my case that could be considered a "finders fee"..

Anywho... back on the satellite, I did date an ex-stripper for a while and I had zero problems with that aspect.  What broke us up was her drinking problem, which could very well have been related to her former occupation.  Who knows?  Perhaps if she were a prostitute I'd have a different reaction, truly I have no idea.

I know in my youth/past/whatever I was Sculpto's polar opposite.  Never even had a one night stand, let alone having a thought about a "lady of the night". About as conservative as one can get. Funny thing is, none of my friends ever believed that I didn't have sex with every girl I met.  I think it's a catch-22... if you say you get lots of sex, no one believes it, if you say "Hell I don't now, I didn't toss her in the sack..." no one believes it (so you learn fairly quickly just to ignore the fools and say nothing at all to the goofy guy questions-- or girl questions for that matter)... funny how that works. So today, I figger if I'm gonna get the player rep anyway, I should at least get the fun to go with it..  :evil:  :evil:

So, Ininite, if you change your mind, toss her number my way, and I'll test my moral standards too!   :evil: (j/k )