I met a girl under special circumstances

[BillyB]

  I have asked all the uncomfortable questions about her work and she has answered openly and honestly.

One more thing I want to add. Of course she's going to be open and talk about her job. Remember, your friend called her in to do a job or maybe I should say, do you guys. She knows you know and maybe she's not telling you the full truth about what happens behind the scenes. Maybe she'll do 10 guys at once in an orgy if the money is good. Maybe she'll participate in some freaky sexual fantasies some men have. Use your imagination. Can you live with this knowing hundreds of guys have done your wife in strange ways and that she's allowed her body to be rented out? Some guys can, most can't.

[viking]

Ok, shoot me but I am going to go in the opposite directions of the viewpoints posted here.

First, how many women have had "affairs" lasting a week or more with a foreign man and received a boatload of gifts, or who slept with how many guys, casually or otherwise in the past. How many men have married women who kept their past a secret, ( hooker, drug dealer, had an abortion in their teens, and other maybe lesser things)  to die in their graves. And who knows the real reason for her wanting to make some money as a hooker.

To say once a hooker, always a hooker is BS. Once a thief? Once a liar? Once an exotic dancer? Once cheating on their tax forms? Ever smoke pot? Are you now going to be labeled a druggie for the rest of your life? Come on. People have options/choices as they mature. Everyone here perfect?

 Sure their are other women without a checkered past, but if this guy can see past her past, and it works for him ( and her) what the heck is wrong with that?

[Ravens9273]

In all honesty this guy is at the wrong forum.
This is a forum based on Men marrying Russian Women and the issues associated with it.
He did not come here asking about a Russian Women or advice in the typical sense.
He came here asking advice about a prostitute who just so happens to be Russian.

His issues are not based on the fact she is Russian. His is based on the fact she is a prostitute.
With that I say go to craigslist adult section for advice or find a forum for pimps and ho's.

Too many come here with the impression Russian Women come with instruction manuals.
Women are Women no matter where they are from. There is not a section on page 102 to cover Russian Ho's in the Russian Women handbook which I think he was more or less asking us to look up for him.

How could anyone here give him advice on a prostitute which is what he is seeking?

I think he just degrated our community comming here with this and insulting to all here that he thought we would have the answers concerning prostitutes.
This topic has nothing to do with the rest of us period. So what if she is Russian? Like that changes everything? A prostitute is a prostitute no matter what passport she carries. It does not mean it is proper for this forum because she is Russian which I might add is not his issue at all where we could provide help.
This does not fit what RWD is about.

If anything I feel he was hoping the rest of us would say this profession was OK in Russian culture so it could be OK within himself to persue this Woman.

Well to the original OP.
On page 102 of the official Russian Women handbook section B it hereby states that the profession of prostitution is not only illegal in Russia but also frowned upon by those in the Russian Community.
So remember this when you receive that late night phone call to bail her out of jail.

[Misha]

Sure their are other women without a checkered past, but if this guy can see past her past, and it works for him ( and her) what the heck is wrong with that?

The main danger is as follows. This is a woman who is used to using men to achieve her goals. If she had boyfriends, they were likely there because she wanted something. How does the OP know that she is not simply using him to achieve her next goal: a green card and a fresh start in a new country. At the age of 29, she has probably been working in her profession for over a decade. I really doubt that love will be a motivating factor in any decision she makes.

[GoodOlBoy]

Sure their are other women without a checkered past, but if this guy can see past her past, and it works for him ( and her) what the heck is wrong with that?

Past??.......From what the OP has written, she hasn't submitted her "retirement paperwork" just yet........it sounds like she is still on "active duty".  :evil:


GOB

[Ininiteluck]

well sorry if u Raven or anyone else got offended. That was not my intention. Yes, maybe I was hoping that someone would say that prostitution is less frowned upon or something along that line. In any case the aggregated answer is clear.... Stay away.. That is of course my intuitive answer too but wanted a few opinions and and I am greatful for those. Too bad though...

[BillyB]

First, how many women have had "affairs" lasting a week or more with a foreign man and received a boatload of gifts,

Those guys giving a boatload of gifts buying love aren't much better than the guy who pays for a hooker.

To say once a hooker, always a hooker is BS.

True, people can change their life and become role models but chances are most do not change because they want to, but because they're forced to retire since most clients will want younger women. We need to exercise caution when dealing with anyone with a checkered past.

Sure their are other women without a checkered past, but if this guy can see past her past, and it works for him ( and her) what the heck is wrong with that?

The past is not the past yet. The OP's girl is still a working girl and he has to treat the situation as such and ask himself if he can live with it.

[Sculpto]

I'm SO SICK of these silly generalizations you guys perpetrate. 

How many sex workers do you know Blues?  Maybe you were the exception.. there are ALWAYS exceptions.

[Ininiteluck]

Blues, your opinion would be most appreciated as you are the only woman here

[Sculpto]

How does that joke go.

"Man walks up to a woman and asks her whether she will sleep with him for a million dollars. She ponders and says yes. He then asks her whether she will sleep with him for twenty dollars. She immediately turns all red and asks: "What do you think I am?" He replies: "Ma'am, what you are has already been established, now we are simply negotiating a price."

How about another reason: self-respect.

So you believe that most women deep down are willing to prostitute themselves, but have yet to meet a man willing to pay enough as to liberate their inner call girl?  

Yes, quite often with the help of drugs and alcohol. It is part of the "disconnecting" process.

I believe most women will consider it.  

High priced escorts typically do not use drugs at all.  Street walkers are a different breed and different story and we are not talking about them right now int he case of the OP.  He was introduced to a Russian escort who was working outside her country.  Think about the dynamics of that.

[Misha]

How many sex workers do you know Blues?  Maybe you were the exception.. there are ALWAYS exceptions.

Eric,

You must not think very highly of women  I for one, am confident, that most women would never consider a life of prostitution no matter how desperate they were.

Misha

[Misha]

Think about the dynamics of that.

What is there to think about. It is a woman who is used to using men for money. I would wager that she sees men as somewhat foolish, easily manipulated, and easily taken for their money. She is not the kind of woman that I would recommend that any man marry.

[Sculpto]

Eric,

You must not think very highly of women  I for one, am confident, that most women would never consider a life of prostitution no matter how desperate they were.

Misha

I didnt say a life of prostitution.  Never said that.  What I did say is many if not most are at some time in their lives propositioned, and, you would be surprised how many will accept a proposition under the right circumstances.  it is not a question of thinking lowly or highly of women, it is recognition of a fact of life, and, exposure to at least a dozen if not more women who had done one form of sex work or another, full time, part time or even just once, through my time in the circus troupe and other art connections.

[Sculpto]

What is there to think about. It is a woman who is used to using men for money. I would wager that she sees men as somewhat foolish, easily manipulated, and easily taken for their money. She is not the kind of woman that I would recommend that any man marry.

Prostitutes are people Misha.. they come in every variation.. so, yes you are right, some will see men exactly how you described, but, others will not.  On the high end, you would be really surprised how many do it because they are really into sex.

I would not advise a man to marry a former prostitute either, unless he is exceptionally confident and open minded.

[Ininiteluck]

I gave this some thought as u can all probably understand. Why is she doing it -  she makes about EUR 20.000 per month 3 months per year. She has put most of the money into building a house close to her mothers house. It was just finished and now she intends to sell it. She does not buy expensive clothes, watches or anything else but dresses in nice inexpensive clothes. She 'started out' buy going to Turkey for holiday with some girlfriends 3 years ago. They were all hired by some bar/club to serve drinks and chat with guys. The place had about 30 russian girls working there. This involved no sexual activity. Then on friend of hers enlisted with some escort agency in Scandinavia and told 'my girl' how good the money was etc... She considered it for a while and then tried.. this was two years ago. She just finished studying in Russia and her house is finished and now she says she wants to quit and have a normal life. Question is if she is willing to take any guy just to 'save her' and take her to Europe or if she still wants it to be the right guy like any other girl. The next question is wether she can take being less independent etc. and also if I would be able to live with her past and finally is she automatically ruined for life now..

[groovlstk]

She just finished studying in Russia and her house is finished and now she says she wants to quit and have a normal life. Question is if she is willing to take any guy just to 'save her' and take her to Europe or if she still wants it to be the right guy like any other girl. The next question is wether she can take being less independent etc. and also if I would be able to live with her past and finally is she automatically ruined for life now..

I used to have some hockey buddies who went to strip bars to patronize certain dancers. They always had the same mantra about how their girl was in that line of work simply to support themselves through college, and how she was planning to buy a nice suburban home with a white picket fence and then marry a "good" guy once she saved enough $$. It's a cliche as old as the business.

[kievstar]

Sculpto, my point was not for him to ask mother and sister about her being a whore.  The point was their not going to like it, so its not acceptable behavior.  Regarding escorts I know several who used to be on EM in Kiev who married AM.  And these men have no idea.  Probably never will.  More than likely there are men on this board who married a RW who used to turn tricks and they have no idea.  Many AW and RW in the past and present turned tricks to pay bills.  

Scultpo, I have to disagree on a high number of escorts doing it because they love sex.  They can get good sex off other methods.  Not sure the men who pay for sex are the best at performing sex.  

[Misha]

Prostitutes are people Misha.. they come in every variation.. so, yes you are right, some will see men exactly how you described, but, others will not.  On the high end, you would be really surprised how many do it because they are really into sex.

I am not sure this would be much of a consolation. Sure, might be exciting, but would you really want to be with a woman whose first priority in life was sex?  

I would not advise a man to marry a former prostitute either, unless he is exceptionally confident and open minded.

AKA, so open minded that he won't mind her sleeping around as she is really into sex and she had to have the pizza guys because you were 20 minutes late after all?  :evil: Sorry, couldn't resist a cheap jab  

[Daveman]

I would not advise a man to marry a former prostitute either, unless he is exceptionally confident and open minded.

Well, there are certainly a number of stories written in the archives of this board which would open the horizons of the thought process.

As long as women pursue men who are "good providers" as a primary trait of a mate rather than an equality based connection, the situation can be viewed (and argued successfully) as monogamous prostitution.

There are levels of "using men" which are socially acceptable avenues to gaining a better life, more money, material wealth, etc, and others which cross the arbitrary demarcation into the socially unacceptable.  Where that line resides on the scale of morality is an individual choice.  Only the OP can decide where that line is drawn for him as well as all the other gazillion variables in the relationship madness.  

[Misha]

It's a cliche as old as the business.

Likely makes for better business. Feeds into the men's "girl next door" fantasy, relieves a bit of their guilt, which helps to loosen their wallets  :evil:

[SMS60]

I gave this some thought as u can all probably understand. Why is she doing it -  she makes about EUR 20.000 per month 3 months per year. She has put most of the money into building a house close to her mothers house. It was just finished and now she intends to sell it. She does not buy expensive clothes, watches or anything else but dresses in nice inexpensive clothes. She 'started out' buy going to Turkey for holiday with some girlfriends 3 years ago. They were all hired by some bar/club to serve drinks and chat with guys. The place had about 30 russian girls working there. This involved no sexual activity. Then on friend of hers enlisted with some escort agency in Scandinavia and told 'my girl' how good the money was etc... She considered it for a while and then tried.. this was two years ago. She just finished studying in Russia and her house is finished and now she says she wants to quit and have a normal life. Question is if she is willing to take any guy just to 'save her' and take her to Europe or if she still wants it to be the right guy like any other girl. The next question is wether she can take being less independent etc. and also if I would be able to live with her past and finally is she automatically ruined for life now..

What is making you think she is genuinely interested in you for you? Is this part of your immagination?

Seriously, answer these questions? Are you in infactuation mode?

Your not close to an established relationship but yet have questions and drama swirling around in your head.

You deserve better.

[Sculpto]

Well, there are certainly a number of stories written in the archives of this board which would open the horizons of the thought process.

As long as women pursue men who are "good providers" as a primary trait of a mate rather than an equality based connection, the situation can be viewed (and argued successfully) as monogamous prostitution.

There are levels of "using men" which are socially acceptable avenues to gaining a better life, more money, material wealth, etc, and others which cross the arbitrary demarcation into the socially unacceptable.  Where that line resides on the scale of morality is an individual choice.  Only the OP can decide where that line is drawn for him as well as all the other gazillion variables in the relationship madness.  

Words of wisdom there.

[groovlstk]

I would not advise a man to marry a former prostitute either, unless he is exceptionally confident and open minded.

Or exceptionally foolish.

[Sculpto]

What is making you think she is genuinely interested in you for you? Is this part of your immagination?

How does a guy, or even a girl for that matter, ever really know the answer to that question?

[Misha]

There are levels of "using men" which are socially acceptable avenues to gaining a better life, more money, material wealth, etc, and others which cross the arbitrary demarcation into the socially unacceptable.

Sorry, I looked for women who did not have using men as a goal and had an old fashioned ideals such as marrying men that they loved and respected, men who also loved and respected them in turn.