My third time meeting the same scenario. How do I behave?

[Ooooops]

When the A-web woman shows up at the airport in winter to meet her "date" and she is not wearing a coat.   As soon as he drops his luggage off at his apartment, the taxi will take them to a fur coat store.   She returns the coat the next day and splits the money with the fur coat store. 

Your imagination runs wild...   

[Taisiya]

Your imagination runs wild...   

Since I have been in dating for quite a while I should agree to the previous post. And it might sound terrible, but splitting money for a fur coat, any jewelery and stuff is an absolutely real story for professional daters. I do not think ladies who are interested in true meeting would normally do that unless they have the intention to.

[BillyB]

I do not think ladies who are interested in true meeting would normally do that unless they have the intention to.

If a RW cared about the man, she would try to be respectful and not waste his money. If she didn't care about him, she'd take him shopping. Lot's of stories on the forum where guys were invited to go shopping. Who knows, there's probably more stories out there than many guys care to talk about. Taisiya, you and your interpreters probably seen this happen numerous times I'm sure. RW will take their man shopping in front of you with no shame.

[Taisiya]

I should agree to this, but still there's a point of disagreement. In Ukraine we, ladies, unless we consider marrying someone, will first let us have an idea how serious our man is about us. We would let him spend as much money as we want on us, but this would be a test. If in the end he says "I have no money", then we shall think he's not the one. Actually each of us has "various appetites". The more fancy girl you choose, the more you'll spend on her

And of course, there's a pretty many situations just like you described. Girls take their men shopping knowing this situation isn't leading them anywhere. Then they stop seeing each other and she finds out reasons for not communicating/being with the man...

I had one of my lady-clients who shook down everything off the man each time he came over to visit her in Odessa, and, as a result, they got married, have three kids and live in the US for almost 5 years happily ever after. Now she would not need that much to make him spend a fortune on her as long as now she's sure he would do anything in the world for her. Unfortunately, there are not so many guys like this, who'd buy a world to us and cuddle us round the clock )

[JR]

I should agree to this, but still there's a point of disagreement. In Ukraine we, ladies, unless we consider marrying someone, will first let us have an idea how serious our man is about us. We would let him spend as much money as we want on us, but this would be a test. If in the end he says "I have no money", then we shall think he's not the one. Actually each of us has "various appetites". The more fancy girl you choose, the more you'll spend on her

And of course, there's a pretty many situations just like you described. Girls take their men shopping knowing this situation isn't leading them anywhere. Then they stop seeing each other and she finds out reasons for not communicating/being with the man...

I had one of my lady-clients who shook down everything off the man each time he came over to visit her in Odessa, and, as a result, they got married, have three kids and live in the US for almost 5 years happily ever after. Now she would not need that much to make him spend a fortune on her as long as now she's sure he would do anything in the world for her. Unfortunately, there are not so many guys like this, who'd buy a world to us and cuddle us round the clock )

Now that is an interesting insight. And as we call it, it is "straight from the horses mouth."

[BillyB]

In Ukraine we, ladies, unless we consider marrying someone, will first let us have an idea how serious our man is about us. We would let him spend as much money as we want on us, but this would be a test. If in the end he says "I have no money", then we shall think he's not the one.

Yes, if the woman considers to marry the guy, she wouldn't waste all his money. For a guy she doesn't consider marrying, she'll let him spend all his money until he's dry.

That is not a good mentality for Ukrainian women to have. I understand why many Ukrianian men will have the bad attitude of using the women too. Sleep with them and move on to the next girl.

[elliott]

I should agree to this, but still there's a point of disagreement. In Ukraine we, ladies, unless we consider marrying someone, will first let us have an idea how serious our man is about us. We would let him spend as much money as we want on us, but this would be a test. If in the end he says "I have no money", then we shall think he's not the one. Actually each of us has "various appetites". The more fancy girl you choose, the more you'll spend on her

And of course, there's a pretty many situations just like you described. Girls take their men shopping knowing this situation isn't leading them anywhere. Then they stop seeing each other and she finds out reasons for not communicating/being with the man...

I had one of my lady-clients who shook down everything off the man each time he came over to visit her in Odessa, and, as a result, they got married, have three kids and live in the US for almost 5 years happily ever after. Now she would not need that much to make him spend a fortune on her as long as now she's sure he would do anything in the world for her. Unfortunately, there are not so many guys like this, who'd buy a world to us and cuddle us round the clock )

Interesting, indeed.  I'm taking notes!

There's a couple of things that I don't understand, though.

If in the end he says "I have no money", then we shall think he's not the one.

So, before he says "I have no money" did you think he was the one that you were destined to spend your life with?  But, once he's spent every penny on you, only then do you think that he's not the love of your life?  I guess I don't understand this.

Now she would not need that much to make him spend a fortune on her as long as now she's sure he would do anything in the world for her.

So, doing anything in the world for her and spending a fortune on her is the same thing?  Is spending a lot of money on material things equal to marriage vows and promises of commitment?  After she "shook down everything off the man" did she conclude that he's her soulmate and will stick with her through thick and thin?

Unfortunately, there are not so many guys like this, who'd buy a world to us...

Good.  It shows guys have some sense after all.  

Unfortunately, there are not so many guys like this, who'd...cuddle us round the clock.

Au contraire, there are many.  

[Faux Pas]

I shall keep it private unless they ask me for help. Then I'll have to suggest them this option. Anyway, thanks for your advice.

Taisiya

I don't see why you wouldn't offer your services both ways. You can offer translation only where you would keep your opinions to yourself regardless of how good or bad it is for the client or you could offer translation and consulting (for an extra fee of course) where you would alert the client of everything that you feel you should want or need to know concerning the ladies, taxis, apartments ect. Just a thought

[Taisiya]

okay, boys, you show an interesting way of thinking, still, you can't restrict us having our world of dreams. Before I got married, my future husband had to handle each test before I considered him being my other half. Now we are totally happy and in October we'll have our 5th wedding anniversary (we have been together for over 8 years now). Sometimes I'd take his last pants off him but now, having a good healthy family, a little kid, I would not want to spend any extra money for myself. I'd want to buy something for my son and stuff. So, probably estabishing good family background could help you cure your girls from their money suffering Though, it wouldn't work for everyone for sure.

[Taisiya]

Taisiya

I don't see why you wouldn't offer your services both ways. You can offer translation only where you would keep your opinions to yourself regardless of how good or bad it is for the client or you could offer translation and consulting (for an extra fee of course) where you would alert the client of everything that you feel you should want or need to know concerning the ladies, taxis, apartments ect. Just a thought

Oh, okay, I get good tips for my opinion (only upon request), so I needn't ask anyone to pay anything extra as long as I am quite satisfied if my clients write me nice recommendations/testimonials. And, I do not want to scare anybody off by my prices Having a recommendation is a high price, though. Well, Faux Pas, you gave me a good idea which is highly appreciated.

[Faux Pas]

Oh, okay, I get good tips for my opinion (only upon request), so I needn't ask anyone to pay anything extra as long as I am quite satisfied if my clients write me nice recommendations/testimonials. And, I do not want to scare anybody off by my prices Having a recommendation is a high price, though. Well, Faux Pas, you gave me a good idea which is highly appreciated.

Taisiya

One thing I've picked up from being around these boards for the last few years is some men do not want to know the truth or someone else's opinion of more specifically, their woman. Of course many do but, those that do not can get highly offended if you do not tell them what they "want" to hear. Those are in most cases easily enough to identify. I would suggest to you to identify those and do not offer any advice or opinion. FWIW 

[Taisiya]

In my initial post I mentioned I would not bother any of my clients with my thinking about their women, etc. On the contrary, I will do my best to see couples click and help them with that. If they ask me to tell them the truth, I will not go into any aggressive explanations. Certainly, they should be pointed to some situations but the answers to their questions should be given by their own. The only thing I'd allow myself do is give them hints so that they would have a doubt. giving any proof is useless unless they realise where they're at.

[Doll]

Can't get it- do you work for the agency or yourself?

[Taisiya]

I do work for myself, but I love interpreting. So if my respectable client wants me as an interpreter, I'd always be there. And, it's a good practice Don't you think?

[Doll]

Sure

[bobb]

Taisiya,

Do any agencies call you on short notice to ask if you can interpret for a foreigner and a UW who have never corresponded?

I ask because in October 2003 I was in Kyiv on a VM trip.  All meetings were arranged when I was in Kyiv.  All the women understood I was meeting other women.  After each meeting the interpreter would ask me if I wanted her thoughts.  I welcomed them and would have probably been a little lost without them.  I listened to what she had to say and blended this with what I observed and felt.  Of course I had no expectations before each meeting so it is much different than if I had been writing any of them ahead of time.

There was one woman I saw three times.  She was nice but for whatever reason I just wasn't willing to pursue it further.  It did seem the interpreter was just slightly pushing me to see all the good qualities in this woman.  In a sense, with this one woman, I felt she was a little into a matchmaking role.  It wasn't extreme and it didn't affect my decision.

[groovlstk]

I should agree to this, but still there's a point of disagreement. In Ukraine we, ladies, unless we consider marrying someone, will first let us have an idea how serious our man is about us. We would let him spend as much money as we want on us, but this would be a test. If in the end he says "I have no money", then we shall think he's not the one. Actually each of us has "various appetites". The more fancy girl you choose, the more you'll spend on her

I dated quite a few Ukrainian ladies and whenever I sensed a whiff of this mentality or felt I was being tested, it was good luck and good riddance.

The sad part is that there are plenty of men out there who will latch onto this explanation and use it to continue deceiving themselves about their GF's feelings for them, always hoping the latest gift will bring more than a few scraps of her attention.

FWIW, I met plenty of Ukrainian (and Russian) women who did not cling to this primitive system of finding a mate. For you guys who are still searching, don't settle for this type of relationship, there's a better world out there waiting for you.

[Taisiya]

Taisiya,

Do any agencies call you on short notice to ask if you can interpret for a foreigner and a UW who have never corresponded

Yes, there were a few occasions

And if a man corresponded with his Gf, the agency would hire only the interpreter who's in charge of their correspondence (at least during first meetings)