Why are y'all really looking for RW?

[GQBlues]

'course you know I was just being facetious...ha-hah!

NGC had a special about this just recently and I think it was a 4-hour scientific summary of what they believe is really behind all the fuzz.

They tapped on smell /sweat/MHC...etc of men as allegedly women generally (allegedly) have a very keen sense in how she can naturally 'process' a man's smell/sweat and instantly triggers her brain that the man possess immunities in his DNA that she lacks in herself. Thus, the science goes, she is pulled to 'mate' with this man as a vital process of natural selection to enable the production of offsprings that would have a wider range of immunities. Thus technically a greater guarantee of preserving the specie much more effectively.

Sheeessh, I can just imagine a whole bunch of men substituting penicillin for body lotion before going out on the prowl. dunno....I think these research scientists really need to get out and get laid more now and then.

Just like golf, man; when you put too much thought behind the science of the swing, you just get all tied-up in knots and you just find yourself hacking all the way to the proverbial 'hole'.

[Daveman]

'course you know I was just being facetious...ha-hah!

NGC had a special about this just recently and I think it was a 4-hour scientific summary of what they believe is really behind all the fuzz.

They tapped on smell /sweat/MHC...etc of men as allegedly women generally (allegedly) have a very keen sense in how she can naturally 'process' a man's smell/sweat and instantly triggers her brain that the man possess immunities in his DNA that she lacks in herself. Thus, the science goes, she is pulled to 'mate' with this man as a vital process of natural selection to enable the production of offsprings that would have a wider range of immunities. Thus technically a greater guarantee of preserving the specie much more effectively.

Sheeessh, I can just imagine a whole bunch of men substituting penicillin for body lotion before going out on the prowl. dunno....I think these research scientists really need to get out and get laid more now and then.

Just like golf, man; when you put too much thought behind the science of the swing, you just get all tied-up in knots and you just find yourself hacking all the way to the proverbial 'hole'.

I missed that one.. though I would love to check it out.  Hey, it's entirely possible for the mating process. At least we haven't resorted (or reverted) to the greeting rituals of some other mammals, yet.  There have and will be volumes written, miles of video recorded, and countless hours of analysis put into this mess.  Much of it will fall by the wayside, as theories are modified, morphed, and completely usurped as the scientific process continues. 

Your analogy of golf is a pretty good one.  I would only add that if a man thinks about, practices, and hones his swing on the range, he becomes relaxed and natural on the course.  He can recognize the shots, as well as understand when to go for it, when to lay up (heh, couldn't resist that one), or when to bail out of trouble.  In the other game of holes, that would relate to wasting less time smacking and chasing balls that are out of bounds, plunged into the water, etc.. 

I try to relate it all back to my own experience.  I have (as have we all presumably) had women instantaneously attracted to me (well, now I understand they were sniffin' my DNA with the biologically irresistible intent of creating a new race of Super Midgets), others who were not, and some who grew to think I'm the best thing since sliced bread over time.  There must be variances otherwise all the women I've ever met would want to create the race of Super Midgets.  And then of course there's the proverbial "staying power", um, of the relationship that is.  As simplistic as it sounds, from my experience, that aspect seems to be the chemistry, combined with a growing attraction (as more traits become apparent), enough compatibility to become and remain best friends in the process, and thwarting the Law of Entropy by working at it regularly.  That's what I think it is, common sense as it may be, though what constitutes that is up for more miles of video footage, volumes of written dissertations, more endless hours of analysis and ensuing debate... and the Mongolian Clust.... er... Circle Je... er... science continues...   

[GQBlues]

And then of course there's the proverbial "staying power", um, of the relationship that is.  As simplistic as it sounds, from my experience, that aspect seems to be the chemistry, combined with a growing attraction (as more traits become apparent), enough compatibility to become and remain best friends in the process, and thwarting the Law of Entropy by working at it regularly.  That's what I think it is, common sense as it may be,

LOL. Super midgets are people, too!

Anyway, here's a dime coming from my way...

You know this is something elemental since we really are dealing with the most basic, primal component of self-preservation. Social interaction and attraction is really nothing more than a ritualistic dance mortals like us have to exercise to keep the link alive and preserve our kind. I really don't believe this requires tedious thesis or even elaborative science, Daveman. I think where this gets complicated is when a certain number of folks have an innate, either genetically or otherwise, to a better understanding of when, where, and how to balance 3 basic components of partnering e.g. the cognitive, the emotional, and last but never the least, the eroticism - while others seem to have great difficulty doing so.

You can easily subset those 3 components into its own slices or parts to make up the whole i.e. Cognitive / mental: Intelligence, wit, foresight, reasoning, rationalization, etc...or, Emotional: affection, security, respect, attention, nurturing, love, fear, etc...and, Eroticism: sensuality, sexuality, passion, arousal, etc...I think every single one of us have all 3 components built into each of us. Where we differ is in how, when, where, and under what situation do we stress and perfectly unbalance these components according to the need.

As an example, I know when I used to prowl I have this insatiable thirst to stress the erotic component in me, and at the same time literally suppress the 'emotional' component as much as I could. I still maintain a 'balanced whole' but only with more of 'one' over the 'other two' etc...

Once one gets into a relationship, these components are still key and at play. However, one still need to address when, where, and how to unbalance each accordingly. Too much of one component all the time is not good, e.g. 10% Cognitive, 80% Emotional, 10% Erotic usually means the partner is either too dramatic, to sappy....too suffocating. Or, 75% Cognitive, 10% Emotional, 15% Erotic...can be termed too boring.....or, having too much Eroticism can also be a bad deal which I'm sure we have all heard the case before...."the sex was great, but that was all we had!", etc...

A well-balanced approach, while may seem to be the perfect blend, is definitely a huge 'no-no' and you will just have to trust me on this one. Ever heard this gem from a woman before, 'Gosh, there's something missing but I just can't put a finger on it!' - 'He's perfect in every way, but somehow we're not growing. I don't know....maybe it's me!'  Well, that Bubba, is the most popular reason I heard from women before.

I honestly believe if more men can recognize this and be able to unbalance these components on demand, it really is nothing more than a simple dance.

disclaimer: a long time ago I heard a tiny skit about this logic and while I didn't get the full gist of it, it did stuck in me and then sort of structured aspects of it unto my consciousness. Then just took it from there with my own version...so I can't say this is fully mine.

[Jooky]

I think these research scientists really need to get out and get laid more now and then.

Yup. While the scientists are concocting theories about why they can't get laid, the pick up artists are figuring out how they can get laid.

The pick up artists got it right. 

[Misha]

Yup. While the scientists are concocting theories about why they can't get laid, the pick up artists are figuring out how they can get laid.

Or so they SAY  :evil:

[Daveman]

Yup. While the scientists are concocting theories about why they can't get laid, the pick up artists are figuring out how they can get laid.

The pick up artists got it right. 

 

You guys just might be surprised how much extracurricular activity goes on around the ole science lab.  Ahem, all in the name of research mind you... well, it did years ago.. now that would probably be a fast track to some lawsuit.

GQ, I like your presentation and I agree that it can be summarized as a simple dance. I think rather similarly actually.. a dance of entering, exploring, and then exiting a state of confluence on varying levels, just as you say, cognitive, emotive, erotic... "Unbalancing" in an apt description.

So then why have my relationships failed? Ummmm, I seem to be the one with the-- 'Gosh, there's something missing but I just can't put a finger on it!' - 'She's perfect in every way, but somehow we're not growing. I don't know....maybe it's her pair of Super Midgets!' --mentality.... heh

[OlgaH]

Discovery channel also has interesting videos "Science of Sex Appeal"

http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/science-of-sex-appeal-sexy-secretions/


[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGfznq9OgdU[/youtube]

Sweaty T-Shirt Experiment


[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9wz_7e0w6M&feature=related[/youtube]

[Jooky]

Hmmm... To find a woman who's DNA was most different from me I'd probably have to search in the Australian Outback.



Something tells me these women wouldn't smell too attractive to me though. Just a guess.

[Turboguy]

There are lots of reasons to look at RW.   

1.  Russian Women are smarter.  You can leave the toilet seat up and they won't fall in.

2.  Russian women learn foreign languages at an amazing speed.  Within a few days of her arrival she will speak perfect Russian.

3.  Russian women want a man who is a real man.   They want a take charge type guy who makes decisions and takes control.  That gives them a much greater sense of satisfaction when they turn him into a pussywhipped lacky who does everything they order him to do and waits on them hand and foot.

[GQBlues]

Something tells me these women wouldn't smell too attractive to me though. Just a guess.

No, but you'll have them coming after you. Just make sure you don't lose your way in the outback, LOL

OlgaH -

Thanks. I was mistaken as this is the show I was telling Daveman earlier...

[SomeGuy]

I think many are simply dissatisfied with what they see around them and choose the "grass in greener" approach. which then becomes a habit or a challenge, or a combination of both.

I think there's an element of truth in that(dissatisfied with what they find around them), maybe for many, certainly for me.  It's a big leap between dating and marriage - I had plenty of dates in the US, but it seemed like the majority of them just weren't a good longer term possibility to me for various reasons.  I will admit to being somewhat picky, not as much as in appearance but in character and personality, although as with most people, appearance certainly factored in as well, at least in initial attraction, while (compatible) personality and character is what lets things grow from there.  

I didn't start out pursuing a RW at all, but initially thought of it as something to try to at least increase the size of the pool, and to see what happened, although I was pretty skeptical initially.  What I found eventually was interesting enough, at least to me - women are, well, women, at least in one sense.  I definitely came across kinds once past the mystique, along with some differences in general as well.  Once the obvious mismatches were discarded, I met a few that were really interesting to me that I could see the possibility of becoming good friends with.  I tend to choose my friends carefully, but the combination of intelligence, education, and a straightforwardness (including to say if they didn't see things going further) were all appealing, especially when compared to the local scene.  I met a few truly interesting people, regardless of not moving beyond friendship.

I'd say the individual reasons are varied but can all be filed under certain categories.  The most common being "The Hot Wife". The second would be fantasy of finding "The Traditional Wife" (under the fantasyland auspice - I'm a real man, RW want a real man, so she'll be the submissive wife I want).  Okay, that is somewhat true to an extent.  There's a Russian Adage which goes something like this "The man is the head, until the woman broke his neck".. heh... volumes could probably be written on that particular interaction, but the "June Cleaver" attitude is mostly myth (I say mostly because I did meet one very traditional, submissive, type Ukrainian woman in Kharkov... long before I found RWD.  

I think this is something everyone has to overcome.  It's easy to get a fantasy of the 'perfect' woman in your head, even or maybe especially the superficial ones, but rarely do they hold up to reality, while we all often enough see what we want to see, especially if one believes the myths circulated by agencies and the like.  I never had The Hot Wife as a driving force, beyond someone I found physically, mentally and emotionally attractive and compatible, but even so, I did spend/waste some amount of time with people that yes, were quite attractive, but in reality, really weren't very likely to be terribly compatible in the long term.  Pretty, definitely, interesting, definitely, compatible?  Probably not.  I had never been looking for a large age gap, but instead somewhat less than I had dated successfully in the US, yet still younger than I as I still wanted children.  From then on, I got rid of whatever had made me look at FSU 'dating' (almost) any differently than at home.  There are still some real world differences obviously between distance, culture, language ability, but I had made the switch from contacting people I might date but never go further with, without really realizing I was doing that, to much more comfortable territory, much closer to how I would evaluate long term compatibility with women locally.  I may not explain it very well, and I can't say if others can relate or not, but it was a significant event for me, basically a switch from fantasy mode into reality, or going from superficial attraction to long term compatibility.  At that point, I initiated far fewer contacts, made a few friends, and went from there.  

Anyway, I assert, as do many others, that if a man put in the time, effort, money, etc., into finding a woman in his own country that he does in chasing skirts in the FSU, he would undoubtedly find her... young, beautiful, thin, etc.. but there's the Creepy Old Guy stigma to deal with here, that doesn't exist on the same level there.  I think probably what drives us more than anything else is The Allure of the Exotic.  

That might be true about time for some, I can't really say.  It's not impossible certainly, but I would think it also depends on the guys preferences.  I definitely agree that young, attractive, thin can be found almost anywhere, but that is only a very small part of a 'woman.'  If for some reason, you 'must' have a 20+ year age gap, that's probably true as well about creepy old guy, but it's not difficult at all to date with a ~10 year or so gap.

Believe it or not, the ladies I dated in the USA are actually physically not much different at all than the FSU ladies I've dated. Here in the south is the largest Baborama Genepool in the country... from Texas to Virginia.  If one cannot find a beautiful babe here, then one really must be an idiot.  I admit to being an idiot, because I am addicted to FSUW! hehehe

For me, I am looking for a very specific woman to share my life with. I love being single. I have no problem being alone. There is one woman (okay, just for SMS60.. let's say type of woman) whom I would love and cherish more than being single,and for her I'd move the world. Just absolutely will not be married for the sake of being married or out of some misguided fear of being alone. That would be the epitome of "social misfit" in my book.

This process is adventurous; it's unknown; it's an enigma; it's a challenge... people define relationships differently based on a number of personal criteria -- but at the end of he day what you have left is just a boy and a girl standing before each other asking a simple silent question "could you really love me and I you?" ...

If you find that girl, or boy.. and the answer is yes... that's the elusive treasure we all seek, wherever it's found.

I think somewhere in the above is the real trick - throw out the fantasy, and find the right person for you.  Forget the agency myths, don't exaggerate the cultural differences or make excuses based on them, be at least somewhat realistic about yourself and your potential mate and 'fit,' and think about a life together, instead of just dating, and then see if it fits.

Or of course, live the fantasy and be a serial dater with quite a bit of expense in flights.