should I or shouldn't I?

[Misha]

There is no point in claiming that "all marriages are sane" and "all non-marriages are evil". Because in each of these groups you can find the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Again, at no point did I say that people in love and not being married was a bad thing. I will repeat once more: what I object to is equating marriage with prostitution as moral equivalents.

[mies]

Again, at no point did I say that people in love and not being married was a bad thing. I will repeat once more: what I object to is equating marriage with prostitution as moral equivalents.

the term "prostitution" you have attached yourself to something that you are thinking about. My question was "what should be called a prostitution, and what does not qualify for being called prostitution?" Right now we are discussing (and arguing about) a "spherical horse in vacuum" (a russian expression)

I understand your point that you consider money sharing in marriage - moral, and being a part of partnership, and money sharing outside of marriage - immoral and being feature of prostitution. You see - I never stated what is my opinion on this matter. I simply ask you questions, trying to better understand where do men stand on this. Now, as I do understand - I have no intend to argue with you, nor try to convince you in the opposite.  I am not stating that marriage and "this other thing" are moral equivalents, I am asking you to explain why they are not the same. If you feel indignant about comparison, and the question, - well. Why? Why do you feel unhappy about comparing two phenomena? We can conclude "they are different because of X, Y, and Z" or we can conclude "they are somewhat different: X and Y are different, but Z is the same in both cases."

and at that, i'll probably stop contributing on the topic, it will be reiteration  

[OlgaH]

Or presumably there is a woman, who has a sponsor, and she loves him. She would be happy to marry him, but he does not want to marry her. Is she a prostitute?

He doesn't want to marry her.. Does he love her? or he has five others like her he sponsors too? What does he sponsor her for? For sex with her? For her love? Does she love him and  feel OK accepting his sponsorship at the same time?

It is of course only my opinion, but when I see "looking for sponsor/sugar daddy/sugar mummy" I associate it more with "something for something" where a sponsor's money is simply a payment.  

[Vaughn]

Again, at no point did I say that people in love and not being married was a bad thing. I will repeat once more: what I object to is equating marriage with prostitution as moral equivalents.

I don't know if I object as strongly as I feel it's a nonsensical comparison. When one tosses in the abstracts like
dignity, responsibility, and commitment - the prostitution transaction's morality is difficult - if even possible, to
define.

Reminds me of the former RWD member who liked to light a fire by calling the K-1/K-3 processes Human Trafficking.

[mies]

:
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfxYnn31lWE[/youtube]

[Misha]

An appropriate joke on topic:

Man: Will you have sex with me for a million dollars?
Women: Sure!
Man: How about for ten dollars?
Women: What kind of women do you think i am?!
Man: We've established that, now we're just arguing over price.

[mies]

You see, I believe that an ideal marriage should be based on a number of factors including mutual love and respect.
...
Yes, there are some marriages where women and sometimes men exchange sex for money, but I would wager that such marriages will usually not last and will quickly disintegrate should money become tight.

here is a quote from another forum, posted yesterday. A female Russian is married to a US male. She asks for forum advise on the following matter (below is my translation of the post):

"We had a verbal fight yesterday with my husband, over small/unimportant thing. I was upset and refused to kiss him in the evening and was cold. He responded to me: "I do not need such wife." Today I noticed in computer history that he was checking websites about divorce. Can he really file for divorce? We are together several years. What should I do now?"

Sadly, this situation is very typical, especially in RW-WM marriages, judging upon online revelations of women, and men (take Billy's old stories for example and his advices - I hope I remember correct who was the author of stories of what to do with RW wife who refuses to have sex with her husband).

You, Misha, are assigning all responsibility to women for the "relationship as transactions." While cases when women genuinely believe they are in relationship, while their men view it as a transaction (married or not), - are not seldom at all. But still, it is very insightful to learn how you think about women.  

[Misha]

Where did I say that I was assigning all responsibility to women (again putting words in m virtual mouth  ). I am rushing off to church, so I can write much other than to say the guy is a certifiable idiot and fill in the expletive of your choice. Sadly, he is also degrading the institution of marriage as he clearly sees himself as having bought a plaything that he can somehow return for a refund    IMHO, marriage should not be based on women selling themselves to the highest bidder and men shopping for a toy to play house. Both must be held accountable for their actions and choices. Sure, the ideal is not easily achieved, but both men and women must strive for it.