So about the solid advice of doing things on my own; what if the thing i want and ache to do the most is travel? I really really wanna go on road trips through Europe. It feels criminal to be in the middle of Europe and not take advantage of that!! And i wanna go to Asia at least for a few months.. And go hiking in the Alps.. and many other things.I can hardly go alone and leave hubby behind, while spending 'his' money... Besides it would be 1000 times more fun if we did it together...
hello again Miss Aloe.
This is a situation I struggled with most of my life as well.
I need to travel and find new places and new friends, and fly like a bird (more like a squirrel actually). It's all I think about. It's in our personality to be adventurous, and not doing what calls to you is a mistake IMO. Your Happiness is Yours and yours alone. If you can be so fortunate as to find a mate who shares common things that make them happy too, and you can do it together, then you have found a very rare relationship and it can be truly amazing.
That being said, the reality is that most of us do not find that person and try to make someone into that person. The fact is that all of your happiness will not come from your marriage. A successful marriage is one wherein the two people both understand that the other person has their happy, and visa versa. I have my happiness and happiness in my life does not come from another person, It comes from me, from what I do, from what I accomplish, from what goals i set and acheive for myself.
At one point I beleived that my happiness would come from doing everything in my power to make my woman happy and make her life what she always had dreamed of. While that did make her happy, and in turn made me happy, everything seemed great. Until she needed more than that. Then all of this time and effort and energy I was using to make her happy, became futile and then and only then did I begin to understand, that I was just making both of us co-dependant. So , it did not last. So then what did I have to feel good about? very little.
So, I found out that by doing the things that I want to do , for me.. those things make me happy, and I would love to do those things with my mate, but that's not realistic. No one else likes doing what I do to make me happy, Only I get the happiness from that. My mate would have to do her own things to make her truly happy. And then I realized, hey . . .
She has her life, i have mine, then we come home to each other as happy people. Simple.
Could it be that your husband finds his happy in playing his games? It sounds very possible. As for going out and travelling around the world doing kick ass fun stuff, I happen to be on that path
If that is what calls to you, then just do it. You will quickly find others doing the same things and you can develop some great freindships that way. What you are proposing is going to cost money. You are married, so you have to combine assesets and therefore combine spending too. While , techincally it's not 'his money', he does have a say in what that money is spent on. It may be a tough sell, to propose your ideas about traveling and having fun and living life.
You will never turn a homebody, into travel lover.
You will be best off short and long term to get paid to do your travels and excursions. Meaning, you need a job in the travel sector or at least a job realted that has travel perks.
This is how I take trips all over the world and do crazy fun things. They pay me to be crazy and fun.
It is called sponsorship and I don't mean from a married man.
One Idea might be to start a travel agency, a tour agency, or a guide service. Then you get paid to travel, and see the sights, ect....
Maybe Aloe's Adventure Blog...
