Differing Money Mentalities

[Miri22]

marines, soldiers, airmen, sailor, guardsmen, warriors, special ops--there is no way I could know what your tribe is.  Is there a generic name appropriate for ex-military?

I don't follow the purpose of the link you provided for this thread

As a marine I imagine you have been trained that you are superior to others.

An appropriate addresss for the veterans who served this country and allow the rest of us to sleep soundly at night is nothing less than "Sir" or "Ma'am" -
Show some respect & gratitude for God's sake - don't they teach manners anymore? Freedom ain't free, kid.

[Vaughn]

I was trying more to challenge the value of inserting off topic political comments.....   My only hope for posting
what I did would be that political posts in non-political threads be reduced, dare I hope eliminated.

Well stated, SFandEE. When I've got something political to beef about, RWD is definitely not the board I target.

No matter where one stands on a USA domestic issue, the ensuing debate usually detracts from RWD's purpose.

Years ago, I heard that a RW's favorite place to safeguard her money was in some home-fashioned hidey-hole
rather than a traditional bank. My educated guess is that, if there were ever any truth to that notion, times have
changed in the FSU.

In the middle of the celebration at a VERY nice restaurant in Omsk, my MIL looked at me (straight in the face), focusing  on my eyes and asked me if I was serious about marrying her daughter (with Marina translating).

It was really a very sobering moment for GOB!!

Right there with you, GOB ~ I knew well how close my Elvira and MIL Maria were (and are)... and having experienced
gross disappointment in her past, Elvira's Mama was quite protective of her daughter's interest. Thankfully, that same
sense of duty is now extended to me. So many fail to recognize that the daughter often becomes her mother with time.
Maria was so fiercely faithful to family members - and her daughter takes after her. Protective Mama = Green Flag.

[SMS60]

I regret that I am perceived by some in the same politics as Scultpo--I most definitely do not share his politics and have had my contact with him almost exclusively through RWD.  We do not have the same political beliefs.  

I am not Sean Hannity either.  Just trying to understand three wars--one of which is quite protracted with no end in sight.  I can understand the business side of that war, but not the value it provides citizens.  I have heard stories posted here and in my life that it is a great gig for contractors, real good pay, tax free.  Don't really understand how that is helpful in our current financial condition and so that is probably why I might be perceived wrongly for challenging being in a constant state of war.  More war in my lifetime than non-war.   Seems like a lot of war.

To that end why are politics being discussed on "Differing Money Mentalities" thread?

This is frickin weird dude. Look in the mirror and ask him the question.

[Gylden]

OK first of all, if I may inject a bit of humor here......

Then to attempt to answer your questions directly. Although you realise there is a very large lack of information to enable a good answer without making many assumptions (ergo the addition of what you are calling "crap".

- - - - - - -

First case:

Situation: Accept that the woman is not eating well.  Now she uses the money given to her to eat well and instead buys a prestige coat at a cost well in excess of that needed for a 'just as warm' coat.

Question for women:  Would this be a common occurrence for FSU women?

Question for  men:  Would you continue with this woman?

Most probably not. I would have to accept the fact that I made an error in understanding her values.
My comments to add are:
1. Most important, a gift of money for food or food itself (among other similar items) are a gift of charity IMO and not for purely romantic reasons. The woman would have to agree to accept this charity (not all women have a pride that would allow them to take charity).

2. I would have to feel that I understand the person (woman or man for that matter) before I would give such money for such intended purpose.
 
3. Why would I give so much money to buy food with? Giving such a large amount of money to buy food, it could give confusing meaning to the gift.

4. My disclaimer.....  I would have to know much more to give a better answer.- - - - - -



Second case:

Situation:  Accept that the woman plans to spend two thirds of her entire wealth
on a wedding for son.

Question for women:  Would this be a common occurrence for FSU women?

Question for men:  Would you continue with this woman?

This one is easy, most probably yes.
My comments:
1. What does it matter to him how she spends her money??

2. It does sound as if the boyfriend has controlling issues himself.

3. She seems like she makes good decisions, based on the fact that she is earning well and is able to save.

4. She eats well............


= = = = =  =

Can answers be given without the need to comment on the supposed character of the questioner? The questions are appropriate regardless of who posts.  Maybe to help you, assume the questions were posted by your favorite member here.

For the unmarried men, it is important to learn if the behaviors of the two women are common or uncommon.

For the unmarried men, it is important to learn if his reactions to the situations are common or uncommon.

[Muzh]

All of this crap about if this and if that is just that . . .  'crap.'

Including the original questions, I couldn't agree more. But just for you...

- - - - - - -

First case:

Situation:  Accept that the woman is not eating well.  Now she uses the money given to her to eat well and instead buys a prestige coat at a cost well in excess of that needed for a 'just as warm' coat.

Question for women:  Would this be a common occurrence for FSU women?

Question for  men:  Would you continue with this woman?

- - - - - -

First,I would have never sent any money to any woman claiming to be starving to death. I would give the money to the Red Cross. So I have no clue if it is a common occurence.

HOWEVER, if I would have given any money to any woman I could have given a rat's a$$ what she would have done with it SINCE IT WAS HER MONEY NOW.

Would I continue with this woman? I would if she promises not to peg me with her toy.

Second case:

Situation:  Accept that the woman plans to spend two thirds of her entire wealth
on a wedding for son.

Question for women:  Would this be a common occurrence for FSU women?

Question for men:  Would you continue with this woman?

= = = = =  =

From what I've seen during my travels to Ukraine, I would say this is very common AND expected. Obviously, you would never understand this given your shown attachment to material things.

Would I continue with this woman? If things progress, definitely. Understand that her action was of a loving mother which reflects tremendously on her soul; something you'd never understand given your shown attachment to material things.

It's starting to sound redundant.

I have to agree with you though, this is a lot of crap.

Regarding the insertion of politics here, I agree with SF&EE. This is not the place for it. However, if some of you want to discuss how "Barack" is dismantling Social Security let's take it outside and as your man pal W says "Bring it on!"

Fair warning: Please bring facts to the table. Any inane political ranting will result in utter humiliation.

[mies]

The man judged that she was not eating the best of diets because of lack of money.
Thus, he viewed the purchase of better food to be just as necessary as something like getting teeth fixed.

And another point Lily.  A person can stay just as warm (and for as many winters) in a $79 well insulated coat as in an $800 coat or even a $30,000 coat.

Let's not mix in warmth and durability with pure vanity.  

oh really? $79 "well insulated coat" for Russian frosts? try to find a "well-insulated coat" in Russia for $79  

As for vanity - I just love it when some men admire russian women for how "feminine" they look vs the western women, and the very same men critique same russian women for buying a piece of apparel that is both functional/durable, and nice-looking.  

Oh, wait! you mean these (ватник-телогрейка-фуфайка):

- versatile, unisex, well-insulated, inexpensive at 370 RUB (14USD)


 

[mies]

Seems to me that some guys are waaaaay too obsessed with money and RW would be as wise to avoid them as a WM would be to avoid a RW that is also too obsessed with money...

true

[Daveman]

Why only when her man is not avaliable? There are many articles on using sex toys during sex. If a man enjoys watching his woman playing with a dildo and it gives her pleasure too, I think there is nothing wrong.
It is only their business and all others can choke with their puritanism, conservatism, complexes and any other reasons they have   

I wholeheartedly agree.  But, what if the woman couldn't afford to eat... and she spent the entire amount on a dildo collection?  I guess she'd at least go out in a blaze of glory!

Sorry, ML, I couldn't resist changing the scenario just a little...

[OlgaH]

I wholeheartedly agree.  But, what if the woman couldn't afford to eat... and she spent the entire amount on a dildo collection?  I guess she'd at least go out in a blaze of glory!

Sorry, ML, I couldn't resist changing the scenario just a little...

"Phallic-mania" ?  Follower of phallic cult?     

[Vaughn]

Olga, I find it funny how those cacti are all lined up in graduation on an Upright Grand...

[OlgaH]

Olga, I find it funny how those cacti are all lined up in graduation on an Upright Grand...

Vocal range "in a blaze of glory" 

[ML]

But wouldn't those cacti be a tad prick ly?

[Gator]

 

[Aloe]

When I paid Sergei for the party, he gave me the amount left over and instead of just stuffing it in my pocket, I looked at it.

There is nothing wrong with counting your money. First time i hear about anyone being displeased with it. I think it is because you counted the money given to you by a relative, then i guess it can look offensive if you count it, it's kinda like saying "i don't trust you so i'm gonna count and see if you didn't cheat me". But there is absolutely nothing wrong with counting your money given to you by a stranger (a cashier or a waiter or something like that)

[The Natural]

There is nothing wrong with counting your money. First time i hear about anyone being displeased with it. I think it is because you counted the money given to you by a relative, then i guess it can look offensive if you count it, it's kinda like saying "i don't trust you so i'm gonna count and see if you didn't cheat me". But there is absolutely nothing wrong with counting your money given to you by a stranger (a cashier or a waiter or something like that)

Isn't this the same everywhere? Counting change from a friend or family is a no-no except if we're talking about a business transaction involving a larger sum of money.

[dbneeley]

This thread has been mostly pointless if the intention was to determine how "FSUW" may differ in attitude towards money from Western women. There is a huge variation, just as everywhere else.

I do believe that "ManLooking" has shown himself to be obsessed with money and with controlling the discussion--which may be one reason he is still "looking" in fact.

I have met ladies here in the FSU who think nothing of spending large amounts on clothing, shoes, accessories perfumes, watches, and so forth. Another group, to which my wife most definitely belongs, wants high quality and can be quite ingenious to find it at a good price.

For example, about 18 months ago now she found a brand new leather coat made by Christ Leather of Germany--at a local "Second Hand" store who was apparently selling some clearance items from some of Donetsk's more exclusive shops. Ira struggled over whether to buy it at the "high" price of $400. Finally, I had to point out that the Christ coats on the Internet generally range from about $1800 at the low end to over $2500--and I told her to get it and consider it a birthday present from me. She agreed--but insisted that I consider it a present for her birthday, Christmas, New Year, and Ladies' Day (I came out lucky at that!).

Ira is always finding incredible deals so she can dress very well--better than she has ever been able to before in her life, in fact. Once or twice a year, I get her some very nice perfume, too--a friend arrived in Donetsk a few days ago with a checked bag for us and there were five bottles of perfume in it--although most of these will be gifts for friends. (The one she really wanted for herself did not make it to his place in time; we'll have to get that one later.)

You see, for many ladies here dressing well is not simply something they do to attract husbands. Many have an active interest in fashion and design, and want to look as well as they possibly can. As someone pointed out, we applaud this because they look so "feminine"--yet many men are somewhat oblivious to the cost involved.

The real bottom line of this thread, I believe, is that people are different--and people from here who emigrate to the West will be quite different in many respects after a relatively short adjustment phase there. If you lack empathy and understanding for who and where they are in their native culture, however, it makes no sense to complain about it here or anywhere--move on until you find someone more compatible with your present values, assuming you can.

I fail to see how some relatively incomplete, third-part hypotheticals will help you in this process, though--especially if you are not willing to even attempt to understand what others are saying in trying to get you to understand different values.

David