Differing Money Mentalities

[ML]

Unbeknownst to me, my wife had managed to save almost every penny of her salary when she first started working at the bank and later as an accountant after she arrived here.

If it were 'unbeknownst' to you that she had saved almost every penny, what was 'beknowst' to you as to what she was doing with her salary?

Will your answer become a part of your sainthood application??  

Note:  This is not a question about whether you tried to control what your wife did with her salary, or even a question about whether you cared.  It is a question about your having zero knowledge about what she was doing with her salary.

Can you be real for once?

[Ranetka]

Very well put Gylden.

With this idea we can see the importance of questions as to what FSUW might do with a given amount of money.

Yes, it really helps the sainthood application for all of those who have said "It's her money to do with as she likes,"

. . . . but the more important point is it will help reveal core values.

However, we must also consider the statements by VWRW and others that these values may change upon arrival in the west.  But are the values that change the very basic 'core values,' or something lesser?

Gylden, you stated earlier that your wife thrilled at the gift that left she and her first husband temporarily penniless, but  now she is frugal.   So where do frivolous values end and core values start?
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Just think of money spent by RW on clothes in Russia as money spent on car in  the US and everything will be more clear to you :-)

[Ranetka]

If it were 'unbeknownst' to you that she had saved almost every penny, what was 'beknowst' to you as to what she was doing with her salary?

Will your answer become a part of your sainthood application??   

Can you be real for once?

My ex did not care what I did with my salary, a lot of men are like that actually. Nothing that unusual from what I heard.

[Ade]

Seems to me that some guys are waaaaay too obsessed with money and RW would be as wise to avoid them as a WM would be to avoid a RW that is also too obsessed with money...

[OlgaH]

ManLooking,

Regarding a woman with a sheepskin coat:

If a woman buys $800 coat when she has nothing to eat and damages her health with starvation and bad cheap food I find her action to be very unreasonable. If she complains her man she has no money for food and the man gives her money for food but she spends all the money on a coat, I find her action to be very deceptive.

Regarding a wedding.

If a woman spends two thirds of her entire wealth on a wedding for her son knowing that the wedding will pay for itself and bring extra "profit" I think it is reasonable. Otherwise, not.

[Ranetka]

ManLooking,

Regarding a woman with a sheepskin coat:

If a woman buys $800 coat when she has nothing to eat and damages her health with starvation and bad cheap food I find her action very unreasonable. If she complains her man she has no money for food and the man gives her money for food but she spends all the money on a coat, I find her action to be very deceptive.

I agree with the second statement.

With the first one I feel the same way now however when I was 25 and had to choose between (say) showes or dinner I would choose showes and think I was not wrong 

[ML]

ManLooking,

Regarding a woman with a sheepskin coat:

If a woman buys $800 coat when she has nothing to eat and damages her health with starvation and bad cheap food I find her action to be very unreasonable. If she complains her man she has no money for food and the man gives her money for food but she spends all the money on a coat, I find her action to be very deceptive.

Regarding a wedding.

If a woman spends two thirds of her entire wealth on a wedding for her son knowing that the wedding will pay for itself and bring extra "profit" I think it is reasonable. Otherwise, not.

Olga, thanks for your clearly stated answers.   

Now, please address the follow up idea.

Assuming that the gifts to young married couple will be the same amount regardless of how much is spent on the wedding

. . .  then the 'profit' would be much larger if the wedding cost money were not spent and simply added to the gift money. 

Then there would be much more money to help the young couple get started.

[OlgaH]

... when I was 25 and had to choose between (say) showes or dinner I would choose showes and think I was not wrong  

As to me I have no problem to have an oatmeal or buckwheat porridge for dinner and I also like nice shoes   ... but in the grave it would not matter what kind of shoes on my dead feet  

[GoodOlBoy]

If it were 'unbeknownst' to you that she had saved almost every penny, what was 'beknowst' to you as to what she was doing with her salary?

Unlike you ML, I don't sit at home with a calculator trying to spend my wife's income for her or scrutinizing her shopping bags as they come through the front door.

We "live" off of my income (retired military) and some other things I have done to provide for my family.
I will receive a paycheck for the rest of my life, unfortunately my wife will not.
She has been here and worked here long enough to understand that the Social Security system will probably become insolvent thanks to Barack and company when her turn comes to retire (after paying into it for X amount of years ).

I have suggested several ideas to her (401K, investments, etc.) BUT, I do not keep tabs on her spending habits, nor do I care to.

Can you be real for once?

This is from a man who plays with dildos?

GOB


PS....If you have any doubts as to the validity of what I say, would you like a picture posted of her car (2008 Honda with Russian flag front license plate)?

[Ranetka]

As to me I have no problem to have an oatmeal or buckwheat porridge for dinner and I also like nice shoes   ... but in the grave it would not matter what kind of shoes on my dead feet  

Here you go then :-) Porrige for dinner would be considered damaging health by many men I know :-) According to my boyfiend buckweet will poison me one day :-)

[ML]

GOB, I knew you would not give an honest anwer to the question, but instead try to turn it around on my character.

This was not a question about whether you tried to control what your wife did with her salary, or even a question about whether you cared.  It is a question about your having zero knowledge about what she was doing with her salary.

But you knew that.

[ML]

This is from a man who plays with dildos?

GOB

Dildos are for the pleasure of the woman when her man is not available.

Many women are reluctant to purchase items used for their sexual pleasure, whether at a local shop or over the internet.

So the kind and considerate man buys these things for the pleasure of his woman.

Other uncaring or sexually naive men, who think they are saints, leave their woman with the task of having to purchase these items themself.

[OlgaH]

Olga, thanks for your clearly stated answers.   

Now, please address the follow up idea.

Assuming that the gifts to young married couple will be the same amount regardless of how much is spent on the wedding

. . .  then the 'profit' would be much larger if the wedding cost money were not spent and simply added to the gift money. 

Then there would be much more money to help the young couple get started.

If I decide to help my child with the wedding I would prefer to give him a choice: here is the money and you spend it in the way that is best for you, but no more question to me after if something will go wrong.

My son is 19 years old. I told him if a man is going to have a family it means he able to support his family! Period!

[Misha]

If a woman buys $800 coat when she has nothing to eat and damages her health with starvation and bad cheap food I find her action to be very unreasonable. If she complains her man she has no money for food and the man gives her money for food but she spends all the money on a coat, I find her action to be very deceptive.

An alternative explanation. The man assumes she is poor and starving because she lives in the FSU, but she may be eating well. If somebody were to give me a few extra thousand per month to buy food, for example, I wouldn't spend more than a couple hundred at most as I am pretty much eating all that I desire to eat now. Sure, might get a few extra steaks and try out a few lobster recipes, but I wouldn't really see any need to start spending more money on food  :noidea:

[ML]

Misha, I absolutely knew that you were one of the ones who would never answer the stated question, and instead change the scenario.  But I congratulate you on your consistency.

[OlgaH]

Here you go then :-) Porrige for dinner would be considered damaging health by many men I know :-) According to my boyfiend buckweet will poison me one day :-)

Do you remember "Shirli-Myrli"

"Мама, капустка, конечно, дело хорошее, но в доме надо держать и мясные закуски"  

[Misha]

Misha, I absolutely knew that you were one of the ones who would never answer the stated question, and instead change the scenario.  But I congratulate you on your consistency.

Just presenting an equally plausible scenario 

[OlgaH]

An alternative explanation. The man assumes she is poor and starving because she lives in the FSU, but she may be eating well.

Misha, if a man decides out of blue that a woman is poor and starving and sends her money, it is his problem not hers  

[Misha]

Misha, if a man decides out of blue that a woman is poor and starving and sends her money, it is his problem not hers  

I agree 

[GoodOlBoy]

Dildos are for the pleasure of the woman when her man is not available.

No problems here capt'n, I am always "available". :evil:

GOB

[OlgaH]

Dildos are for the pleasure of the woman when her man is not available.

Why only when her man is not avaliable? There are many articles on using sex toys during sex. If a man enjoys watching his woman playing with a dildo and it gives her pleasure too, I think there is nothing wrong.
It is only their business and all others can choke with their puritanism, conservatism, complexes and any other reasons they have   

[Ranetka]

Why only when her man is not avaliable? There are many articles on using sex toys during sex. If a man enjoys watching his woman playing with a dildo and it gives her pleasure too, I think there is nothing wrong.
It is only their business and all others can choke with their puritanism, conservatism, complexes and any other reasons they have  
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So far we have established it is not moral to spend money given for food on a new coat. Also it is not nice to hope that other men like the said coat.

Now to carry on the theme....

Would it be moral for a woman to use a dildo bought for her by one man while having sex with another?

If she enjoys playing with a dildo does she need to buy  new one everytime? 

What does RWD community  think on that matter?

And should she buy a dildo using money given for food?

[OlgaH]

Ranetka, thanks for good laugh 

[GoodOlBoy]

It is a question about your having zero knowledge about what she was doing with her salary.

ML, I see that you went back and added this to your previous post to me.
Again I will say this as clearly as I can to any normal person who might be able to comprehend the English language.
It is HER money (she got out of bed and earned it).
I really don't care if she stands out on Collins Avenue and piles all HER CASH up and pours gasoline on it and sets it ablaze.
It is hers to do with as she wants.
I am happy for her.
What part of this concept don't you understand??

GOB

PS....This will probably come as a real shocker to you ML, BUT...as God is my witness, as I type this sentence, I have absolutely no idea how much money my wife has. :noidea:

Here's another one that will probably drive you up the wall ML. My wife sold her flat in Omsk a few years ago. Do you know what she did with that money??

I don't know and I don't even care.
And no, I am not wealthy.

[Ranetka]

Ranetka, thanks for good laugh