My RW is coming here to New York

[I/O]

To the current and wannabe pm crowd.

The smell of gutlessness is almost overpowering this place recently. "Take it to pms if you want to hear want you want to hear" is the current call of a few. The first way to fuel lies and deception is take it away from public scrutiny. Furthermore, it is a very good way to spoil a discussion board. Dan, if you read this, I think it is time to take a long hard look at RWD's "PM" and "Private Forum" policies.

The call, I suspect, is that some are too blunt in delivery style which turns others off posting. I can accept that to some extent and I note many have adjusted their style of posting for the most part but consider what is really important, the content or the style?

An example is this, I go to buy a new car, I check many and come down to 2, both similar price, both similar functionality, both Alsorands so to say, one salesman is a blunt prick, stands in full view of every other customer in sight, tells me the car is good, he can evidence it's good, here are the independent motoring industry reports supporting his view, it's a no brainer, I'm an idiot to do anything else and most importantly, here he is driving this exact vehicle he bought for himself a few months ago. I tell him to eff off and I will do as I effing well please and might get back to him (I suspect most potential buyers would do likewise).

The second salesman is a more personable character, explains the car, takes me away into a quiet office, extols the virtues quietly and politely, he's a genuinely decent guy and believes what he is telling me but in the end, as it turns out, is far less informed than the "blunt prick" down the road. His vehicle has a design fault which really can't be fixed, I buy it and have to return it for service repeatedly over the next 3 years which is not entirely covered by warranty and is therefore expensive apart form being a pain in the butt.

Who's the "good" guy here? (Forget about who might be the good salesman).

[CanadaMan]

Hey everyone!  She is here again, and we are having a great time.

If anyone wants to know any details, please let me know...

Sure! The million dollar question. Did you arrive at the airport on time? 


While we're on the late arrival theme...

A few weeks ago my GF arrived in Canada on a flight from Moscow.
The arrangement was that if she were to see the hotel transfer agent first, she'd tell them I'd be picking her up and that we didn't need their service.
If I were to see the hotel transfer agent first, I'd tell them the same thing.

I'm about to head out to the airport and check online for flight arrivals.
Her flight is listed as arriving 30 minutes early!

I jump in the car and boot it!

I arrive at the airport and immediately jump out of my car right near the arrivals area (taking a chance with being ticketed). I go inside, scan the area, but don't see her.
I go back to my car and park it at the parking garage.

When I get back to the arrivals area I read the screen carefully.
Her plane arrived 12 minutes early, rather than 30 minutes.
Phew, some breathing room.

It is now 50 minutes after her plane arrived.
I was at the arrivals area 10 minutes ago before I parked my car.
That means she would have had to clear customs and get her luggage within 40 minutes for me to have missed her. Not likely. And she knew I was coming to pick her up.

I wait. I observe the transfer agents with their signs but don't see one with her name on it. I've waited 30 minutes. I've waited 1 hour. No sign of her.

After 2 hours I inquire where I can talk to a customs agent. The customs office tells me they aren't holding anyone from the flight but that it's common for passengers to take two hours or more before they finally make it through the doors.

I go back and wait another hour. It's now 3 hours.
I ask at another customs station and they aren't holding anyone.

I call the hotel. She checked in more than 2.5 hours ago, which means that I missed her by about 10 minutes. 

[ECOCKS]

You are such an evil and inconsiderate person Canadaman!   

How can you stand to look in a mirror?

[ML]

The arrangement was that if she were to see the hotel transfer agent first, she'd tell them I'd be picking her up and that we didn't need their service.

I call the hotel. She checked in more than 2.5 hours ago, which means that I missed her by about 10 minutes. 

- - - - - -

So as I understand it, she ignored the 'arrangement?'

[CanadaMan]

So as I understand it, she ignored the 'arrangement?'

Yeah there are many things I don't understand about this woman. This is just one of them.

[viking]

Sometimes, to drive home a point, we need to take things to the level of absurdity.

You were 10 minutes late. Late is late 10 minutes or 2 hours. You deserve to be severly punished.
She did not honor the arrangement. she deserves to be severely punished.
You never bothered to even THINK about calling the hotel. More punishment.
She never called you to let you know she was safe. Horrors!!

Both of you must now RUN in different directions.  :whirling:  

Give me a break. If some people here are wound up so tight that something as silly as being late for an appointment is going to doom a relationship, you are the ones who need help.

[I/O]

Give me a break. If some people here are wound up so tight that something as silly as being late for an appointment is going to doom a relationship, you are the ones who need help.

Meeting potential Mrs U first time she comes stateside is an appointment? I go to doctors (or lawyers, or dentists or accountants) for appointments.

[ECOCKS]

Sometimes, to drive home a point, we need to take things to the level of absurdity.

You were 10 minutes late. Late is late 10 minutes or 2 hours. You deserve to be severly punished.
She did not honor the arrangement. she deserves to be severely punished.
You never bothered to even THINK about calling the hotel. More punishment.
She never called you to let you know she was safe. Horrors!!

Both of you must now RUN in different directions.  :whirling:  

Give me a break. If some people here are wound up so tight that something as silly as being late for an appointment is going to doom a relationship, you are the ones who need help.

+1

[KenC]

Give me a break. If some people here are wound up so tight that something as silly as being late for an appointment is going to doom a relationship, you are the ones who need help.

Viking,
No one said that being late would "doom" a relationship however, I disagree that being on time to pick up a lady entering into the country for the first time is "silly" either.  Especially when it is first covered up with an untruth and later justified by "my dad wouldn't let me."  Sorry, but I feel the man has to afford the visiting woman some amount of security and look out for her welfare first and foremost.
KenC

[BC]

Sorry, but I feel the man has to afford the visiting woman some amount of security and look out for her welfare first and foremost.
KenC

Ken,

Ya know.. we're dealing with hopefully grown up women that should understand that sh!t happens.. yeah a bummer for sure, but doesn't necessarily mean such has to be a deal breaker.  If things go well he will be reminded enough as punishment.

[groovlstk]

Not all women are the same, but throwing out Al's situation as a warning to others is absolutely not a disservice and yes, in such situations a mistake like that can trash a relationship, particularly when people are meeting for the first time.

[KenC]

Ken,

Ya know.. we're dealing with hopefully grown up women that should understand that sh!t happens.. yeah a bummer for sure, but doesn't necessarily mean such has to be a deal breaker.  If things go well he will be reminded enough as punishment.

BC,
A large part of the point I was making here is regarding the "sh!t" that did or did not happen.  I could understand if the trains were late (OP's first untruth) or there was an accident on the freeway or some other unavoidable delay, but those did not happen.  The OP was late because his Dad/boss made him work late.
KenC

[BC]

BC,
A large part of the point I was making here is regarding the "sh!t" that did or did not happen.  I could understand if the trains were late (OP's first untruth) or there was an accident on the freeway or some other unavoidable delay, but those did not happen.  The OP was late because his Dad/boss made him work late.
KenC

Ken,

Employer, regardless..

You or I would maybe tell the boss to go to hell, but many others don't have that luxury while we write pink slips to ourselves.

[I/O]

Late trains, tight arsed bosses, freeways etc it's all capital bullshch!t. Late for potential Mrs U on her first visit to your turf is a result of very poor planning and a refusal to accept responsibility..........."It's not my fault, the train was late", pathetic, period. It is not about whether a relationship will survive because of mistakes, it's about common decency, ya know, that traditional sch!t these clowns are always esteeming RW for. The arrogance of the attitudes I see to this one tells me very clearly why many, perhaps most men have their arses handed to them when the go east. 

[GQBlues]

Hey everyone!  She is here again, and we are having a great time.

It's more than apparent that things seem to be cool with these two regardless where all our individual opinion/ideals rest upon.

If anyone wants to know any details, please let me know.

Please do. Tell us how she likes NY (Did you get to go to Manhattan?) My wife fell in love with that city and had to do all the touristy stuff to her heart's content. Then I drove us through the Jersey turnpike (couldn't pay her enough to get behind the wheel in through NY) all the way down to DC, she then proceeded to 'like' the suburbs of DC et al...

She's read a lot of the 'free mason' stories before we left LA, so she took special attention to the district of Columbia's significant landmark, etc...

But we're more interested in your experiences....share will you.

[TheTraveler]

I just wonder whether the OP's RW is aware that her 52-yr old man's mom and dad have his balls locked up in their company's fire safe?    

 Personal attack

[daveyj]

I just wonder whether the OP's RW is aware that her 52-yr old man's mom and dad have his balls locked up in their company's fire safe?    

And perhaps the OP wonders if your RW is aware that her man is anonymously talking mean spirited trash on the internet because he doesn't have the balls to find someone to face off with in real life.

ps.  Why is it that the board goofs always use multiple emoticons?  Are they so insecure that no-one will understand their brilliant wit without being told when to laugh?

[TheTraveler]

And perhaps the OP wonders if your RW is aware that her man is anonymously talking mean spirited trash on the internet because he doesn't have the balls to find someone to face off with in real life.

ps.  Why is it that the board goofs always use multiple emoticons?  Are they so insecure that no-one will understand their brilliant wit without being told when to laugh?

He left his woman at the airport for 2 hours because he didn't have the balls to tell his dad that he's going to take a half-day off work to meet a woman who has traveled halfway around the world to see him.  Oh... I almost forgot -- he didn't even have the balls to tell his parents that this girl even existed.

Perhaps he doesn't deserve to be ridiculed (but on the other hand, maybe it will spur him to critically analyze himself) -- but he certainly doesn't deserve coddling.  It's the girl here who deserves better.

And your schtick as the self-appointed message board policeman is really... boring.

[viking]

I have personally met this woman, twice. My wife and I spent many hours together with the OP and his lady. She is a wonderful gal and anything that happened on her last trip here months ago is long forgotten. Time to let this issue RIP.

[KenC]

I have personally met this woman, twice. My wife and I spent many hours together with the OP and his lady. She is a wonderful gal and anything that happened on her last trip here months ago is long forgotten. Time to let this issue RIP.

  Then quit trying to minimize and justify past bad behavior.

[Boethius]

He left his woman at the airport for 2 hours because he didn't have the balls to tell his dad that he's going to take a half-day off work to meet a woman who has traveled halfway around the world to see him.  Oh... I almost forgot -- he didn't even have the balls to tell his parents that this girl even existed.

That's not true.  He had to finalize an important contract.  He also told his parents about this woman beforehand.  I think you are reading more into this than is there.  

The bottom line is, they are apparently happy together, and if Al's lady has forgiven him, the rest doesn't matter.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha

[KenC]

That's not true.  He had to finalize an important contract.  He also told his parents about this woman beforehand.  I think you are reading more into this than is there.  

The bottom line is, they are apparently happy together, and if Al's lady has forgiven him, the rest doesn't matter.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha

  Then quit trying to minimize and justify past bad behavior.

[Boethius]

I don't view this as bad behaviour.  I view it as a mix of respect for parents and poor planning.

[facetrock]

 I think the reason Al was late because his father and mother hated the idea of him getting involved with a Russian woman(or any woman for that matter) and intentionaly set things up so he would have to work late. He stated many times how they disliked the idea and he said his mother thought it was best if he just stay single forever.
  I mean really, your late 70s year old father is going to fire you because you have to meet a woman at the airport? If he is that mean and ornry Al should have left the company years ago. A lady comes all the way from Russia to see Al and on that same day by some coincidence they have to finish a very important contract. Yeah right. Its easy to see the manipulation. Some parents dont deserve the respect of their children.
 I am happy for Al that things are going good and wish him success in the future.

[GQBlues]

  I mean really, your late 70s year old father is going to fire you because you have to meet a woman at the airport? If he is that mean and ornry Al should have left the company years ago.

In this day and present economic state, there are businesses out there that are clinging on a thread of making it through these hard times. Al's father's business may be in construction, where an opportunity to participate in bidding for a work presented itself after Al and his lady made the planned date of her arrival, unfortunate as it may be, the bid date also happened to be on the same day/time. It can happen.

Al may well be the focal figure head in their company's bidding process. KenC have a better than a good idea how these things work and what it requires.

I will agree contingencies/arrangements can be made to where Al can get someone as proxy and pick up the lady at the airport. But then maybe Al felt he has the time to make it anyway, or could generate enough leeway where he can still be within a reasonable time to process the bid and still make the engagement with his gal. Who knows...

What's obvious and more important right now is, this is behind them and it appears things are not as doomed as previously thought.

Al may have even gotten lucky