I'm new here

[Sculpto]

I am talking to Mark now.  he is a good guy.  I have him calmed down from what happened here.  I doubt he will come back to the forum.. but he has agreed to a game plan to find out if Alina is real and if so find out if she is really interested in him.  he will probably need the services of Anastasia or Alex.. will let you all know.

[Blues Fairy]

A person with a bipolar disorder came for advice and what he received is a "drama queen" thrown in his face and allegation that he will drag Alina into his suicidal world.
Least of all a person with a bipolar disorder need to be humiliated. But that was exactly what he got here - heartlessness.

Are you saying that as soon as somebody announces that he has bipolar disorder, he is automatically entitled to treatment with kid gloves in any social situation?  Were you his potential employer conducting an interview, would you cut him slack based on this circumstance?

We here are not his potential employer, nor his parents, nor his Ukrainian Smokinhotkova.  We are a bunch of impersonal folks who hang out on a forum and whom he will never meet face to face.  It's not like we have any considerable impact on this kid's life.  Why should he be entitled to treatment with kid gloves from us?  If anything, RWD is the place to put a smack on him, to help him realize that, if even such totally irrelevant crowd makes him cringe, something ought to be seriously done about his state of mental health.

[OlgaH]

Are you saying that as soon as somebody announces that he has bipolar disorder, he is automatically entitled to treatment with kid gloves in any social situation? 

with elementary ethics, Blues Fairy.

[Blues Fairy]

with elementary ethics, Blues Fairy?

Which is..?  To never tell a person things as they are? 

The post after which I used the word "drama queen" was full of self-absorbed whining and sophomoric drivel.  It's not like I'm the only one who would have come up with such a characterization - and I'm just a forum participant, not a person involved in his life in any way.  I expressed the concern for his poor girlfriend who is seemingly in for a lot of unwarranted responsibility for this dude's feeble emotional state, and made a statement that FSUW generally don't like drama queens (which is true).  What's so unethical?

[GoodOlBoy]

I am talking to Mark now.  he is a good guy. I have him calmed down......he will probably need the services of Anastasia or Alex.....will let you all know.

We await with "bated breath".


GOB

[Sculpto]

Which is..?  To never tell a person things as they are? 

The post after which I used the word "drama queen" was full of self-absorbed whining and sophomoric drivel.  It's not like I'm the only one who would have come up with such a characterization - and I'm just a forum participant, not a person involved in his life in any way.  I expressed the concern for his poor girlfriend who is seemingly in for a lot of unwarranted responsibility for this dude's feeble emotional state, and made a statement that FSUW generally don't like drama queens (which is true).  What's so unethical?

Blues.. its not the message.. its the way it was imparted.  Russians might like their critiques straight up with no ice, (ha, only when they are GIVING the critique) but, most Americans manage to show a little sensitivity to the feelings of others.  In fact, most people in the world do. 

[Sculpto]

We await with "bated breath".


GOB

You forget to take your pill today GOB?

[OlgaH]

Which is..?  To never tell a person things as they are?  

The post after which I used the word "drama queen" was full of self-absorbed whining and sophomoric drivel.  It's not like I'm the only one who would have come up with such a characterization - and I'm just a forum participant, not a person involved in his life in any way.  I expressed the concern for his poor girlfriend who is seemingly in for a lot of unwarranted responsibility for this dude's feeble emotional state, and made a statement that FSUW generally don't like drama queens (which is true).  What's so unethical?

He wrote his post as a person with bipolar disorder. He honestly wrote he has bipolar disorder and there is no need to continue the mockery and humiliation.  

Sorry, but I think it is unethical to tell a person who has bipolar disorder what you have wrote

So  do her a favor, stick to the webcam chats and emails, unless you are ready to step out of your miserable persona and be a real man.      

What do you know about his "poor girlfriend"? What do you know about a meaning of that girl in his life? What do you know about a meaning of Mark in that girl's life? He wrote about it in his posts. What is true? True is that they have been communicating for two years.

[Blues Fairy]

What do you know about his "poor girlfriend"? What do you know about a meaning of that girl in his life? What do you know about a meaning of Mark in that girl's life? He wrote about it in his posts. What is true? True is that they have been communicating for two years.

I know that they have never met and he even has doubts whether she's not scamming him; yet he says he stakes all his life and sanity upon her.  That's pathetic, bipolar or not.  Especially if bipolar.

Once again, what makes him eligible for special treatment from us?  He still has to live with his diagnosis in the real world, whether he likes it or not.  I am not part of his Goth community, I don't have do endorse him.  I would of course express my sympathy if somebody announced that he had just lost his mother/father/sister etc - such a tragedy would surely warrant a sensitive approach.   But still I would not endure continuous public whining and threats of suicide; I would recommend that he/she see a therapist. 

[Sculpto]

I know that they have never met and he even has doubts whether she's not scamming him; yet he says he stakes all his life and sanity upon her.  That's pathetic, bipolar or not.  Especially if bipolar.

Once again, what makes him eligible for special treatment from us?  He still has to live with his diagnosis in the real world, whether he likes it or not.  I am not part of his Goth community, I don't have do endorse him.  I would of course express my sympathy if somebody announced that he had just lost his mother/father/sister etc - such a tragedy would surely warrant a sensitive approach.   But still I would not endure continuous public whining and threats of suicide; I would recommend that he/she see a therapist. 

His doubts about a scam occurred because he came to the forum. 

But what is truly pathetic is the arrogance of someone who is incapable of showing the slightest sensitivity to the feelings of others.  Makes me think there are some dark secrets behind the hard exterior.

[OlgaH]

Blues Fairy,

to tell a person with psychiatric diagnosis that he is a miserable persona  is the same as to tell a person with a cerebral palsy that he is a miserable.

You treat him as a poor wretched guy as your call him. But I think he deserves to be treated with a sympathy to his problems and understanding.

Yes, he sees his therapist. Have you ever though that the words can kill faster, even words from strangers? He understands it and therefore he tries to help others to overcome what he is going through. I really wish Mark not to lose his hope to find that special life partner with understanding, sympathy and sensitivity to the problems of other people.

[UTRO]

All I know is that I won't ever come here seeking any therapy or sympathy! 
You don't deal with people who have emotional disorders, mental disorders, substance abuse issues, etc... by telling them to be a real man, to suck it up and to get over it. If only it were that easy.
Nobody here has to give DJ special treatment, but he is a human being and some of the things said were unnecessary and somewhat inappropriate. He didn't come here to be diagnosed by us, he gets that from his shrink.
If this girl Alina is for real, it seems that our friend Mark has been 100% upfront with her about his issues, as he has with us.... so she doesn't need our concern.

[LEGAL]

You don't deal with people who have emotional disorders, mental disorders, substance abuse issues, etc... by telling them to be a real man, to suck it up and to get over it. If only it were that easy.
Nobody here has to give DJ special treatment, but he is a human being and some of the things said were unnecessary and somewhat inappropriate. He didn't come here to be diagnosed by us

Very well put Utrobina,

[GQBlues]

Well, FWIW...the oddest thing to me is most of the scrutiny, lambasting and intolerance to his goth belonging have mostly come from the hippie generation. Now, how strange is that?

[LEGAL]

Well, FWIW...the oddest thing to me is most of the scrutiny, lambasting and intolerance to his goth belonging have mostly come from the hippie generation. Now, how strange is that?

GQBlues
 
That's because they stopped burning and became right wing  

[Blues Fairy]

to tell a person with psychiatric diagnosis that he is a miserable persona  
You treat him as a poor wretched guy as your call him. But I think he deserves to be treated with a sympathy to his problems and understanding.

Would you say that he is a happy persona?  He IS miserable and he revels in his misery; otherwise he wouldn't be a Goth.  Now which part of his lifestyle choice "deserves" sympathy?  Which "problems", exactly?  Having a mental disorder, reinforcing it by his Goth ambiance, and threatening to commit suicide on a public forum?  Oh pleeeease.  

Maybe our comprehension of English is slightly different, Olga, but to me this guy sounded like he was perfectly capable of fending for himself, but chose to pose as a suicidal wretch.  By the way, "don't bring a girl from overseas unless you plan to step out of your miserable persona" is no insult; it's a perfectly reasonable advice.  

[OlgaH]

Maybe our comprehension of English is slightly different...

Our attitude to the people who have problems with health including mental health is different.

[BrightDawn]

Would you say that he is a happy persona?  He IS miserable and he revels in his misery; otherwise he wouldn't be a Goth.  Now which part of his lifestyle choice "deserves" sympathy?  Which "problems", exactly?  Having a mental disorder, reinforcing it by his Goth ambiance, and threatening to commit suicide on a public forum?  Oh pleeeease.  

Maybe our comprehension of English is slightly different, Olga, but to me this guy sounded like he was perfectly capable of fending for himself, but chose to pose as a suicidal wretch.  By the way, "don't bring a girl from overseas unless you plan to step out of your miserable persona" is no insult; it's a perfectly reasonable advice.  

I doubt he chooses this at all. You're lack of empathy and compassion is just sad. You brush-off and justify your cutting, biting, critical comments as just "stating the facts". I don't think it is justifiable.

[Sculpto]

Sins                    Virtues

Lust                    Chastity
Gluttony              Temperance
Greed                  Charity
Sloth                   Diligence
Wrath                 Patience
Envy                   Kindness
Pride                   Humility

[BrightDawn]

Perfect.

[OlgaH]

Mark having a manic depression have found his niche in goth sub-culture where he actually can communicate with people who have the same problems. Yes, as a person with bipolar disorder he can have suicidal thoughts... but he is 39 y.o. and he is a survivor as he wrote, but he also need a support.

Take a look at the suicide rate amongst us. I consider myself a true survivor... and I try to impart my strength on others like myself.

If he saved even a few young people from self-harm and committing suicide I give him all my respect. Those young people need somebody who doesn't point their "miserable personas" out they need a person who can understand them.

There are cases when young people commit suicide after they have been ridiculed or criticized by classmates, teachers, parents... People with mental problems even with temporary mental problems are more vulnerabile.

"Michael van Beinum, a psychiatrist for children and adolescents, who advised on the study, agrees: "For some young people with mental health problems, a goth subculture may be attractive as it may allow them to find a community within which it may be easier for their distress to be understood."
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn8996-goth-subculture-may-protect-vulnerable-children.html

[GoodOlBoy]

Really hate to see the reaction of our members when the next Pedophile, "Stuart Smalley wannabe" or some other Social Misfit shows up here on RWD looking for our help to go find their next "victim" in Russia??



What is it some member's say here: "Be careful how you conduct yourself in Russia, you are representing the rest of us here in the GoodOl' USA? (ie...Ambassadors)" 

Yeah....I can see it now, more propaganda for Putin and Company......"See I told you, America is full of weirdos, kooks and sickos"

This after seeing "our" beloved OP prancing around the street's of Moscow with his black cape and makeup on.


GOB


PS....Better yet, maybe Ambach can be "encouraged" to put on a black cape, some eyeliner and go over there with him?? :evil:

[groovlstk]

Told you all.. a guy came here needing help and instead of helping him with his real problem, the one he came here to seek help for... almost all of you chose to attack him on a personal level.  

Shame.

FWIW.. there are a lot of subcultures in this country that to outsiders appear abnormal.  Goth is certainly one of them.  The public face of Goth is a bunch of dressed up teenagers acting stupid.. the core of Goth, the part that innovated and nurtured the subculture, is well over 2 decades in existence and has its "stars" and heros the same as any other.  What I find sad about the response here is most of you would gladly visit another country and go out of your way to conform to cultural norms there, but, when confronted with a subculture YOU don't understand right here on your own backdoor the choice is to ridicule and insult.  

Again.

SHAME!

This is incorrect. The OP didn't come here asking for help with his depression. Gothman arrived here specifically seeking encouragement and validation for a relationship that long ago crossed the border into fantasyland. He wanted people to tell him the agency that has been bilking him for 2 years has his best interests at heart, and that his GF is true to him and never let him contact her outside the agency because she doesn't know anything about this email and internet thing.

If, as you seem to be suggesting, Gothman came here for help with his depression, the thread should have been locked immediately.

The OP threatened suicide over someone he has never met. This is not a story of unrequited love, it's a story of severe emotional problems.

[Shadow]

Yeah....I can see it now, more propaganda for Putin and Company......"See I told you, America is full of weirdos, kooks and sickos"

Yep, especially the ones who claim to not to fall in to that category are the ones who give America a bad name.

[OlgaH]

Really hate to see the reaction of our members when the next Pedophile, "Stuart Smalley wannabe" or some other Social Misfit shows up here on RWD looking for our help to go find their next "victim" in Russia??

Next Pedophile? GoodOlBoy, can you name all previous pedophiles on RWD or you are just good in wagging your tongue making your social misfitting jokes?