A woman of your age

[RussianWind]

Reading this board is quite depressing at times. Have anybody ever considered to marry a woman of your own age, not like -15-20 years  ???

The only impression I get here is that older men are chasing young chicks and this is the main target.

[Shadow]

It depends on the age of the men. I managed to keep the age difference at 7 years, which is a lot for me, but you never know.

[Faux Pas]

Reading this board is quite depressing at times. Have anybody ever considered to marry a woman of your own age, not like -15-20 years  ???

The only impression I get here is that older men are chasing young chicks and this is the main target.

All is not as it may seem RussianWind. There are many of us here who seek and marry ladies who are close or the same age. My Irka is 44 and I am 48. Many of the "drive-bys" are  chasing the young skirts but, they are chasing those anywhere. For some that is the appeal of the international relationship. Our membership is really quite diverse in this area.

Personally, I dated many much younger AW and discovered from them I much more enjoy the company of a lady of my generation or perhaps even older. Others find the comfort of a younger lady more appealing  and there are younger ladies who seek a much older man. The heart wants what the heart wants, who are we to judge?

[docetae]

Reading this board is quite depressing at times. Have anybody ever considered to marry a woman of your own age, not like -15-20 years  ???

The only impression I get here is that older men are chasing young chicks and this is the main target.

Present. We have 4 months of age difference...

[RussianWind]

Ok, I count you both out. Continue saying it you give me a hope   

docetae you will kill me completely if say she is older 

[dogspot]

I considered a woman 2 years older than me. She, a gorgeous and intelligent woman of 39 years. We corresponded for a couple months and she met another guy, a Russian man who made her happy. We still chat from time to time on skype.

[docetae]

Ok, I count you both out. Continue saying it you give me a hope   

docetae you will kill me completely if say she is older 

I have to kill you...this is not personal...She is born in end of 73, me early 74...

[ECOCKS]

You need to read more threads on here.

Quite a few couples here, myself included, have less than a 10 year gap in age. You should search out some of the threads where this debate was held and you'll identify those who did this. You might also check the recent divorce threads (KenC and Scott plus think there was one more) where this discussion occurred and you get a sense of the group which defends the large age gaps and the one which feels it is a heavily-contributing factor in the probablity of divorce/failure.

[TheBlackCat]

Here in Canada I've been in relationships with women older than me. When I was 21 years old I've been with a woman who was 29. This woman was so hot I can tell you. All my friends were totally jealous of me. This relationship has last a little less than a year and the reason for the break up was that she wanted a child and of course I wasn't ready at such at young age. I've also been for a few months with another woman 11 years older than me when I was 27. This woman was a complete nymphomaniac lol.

Other than these two women all my other relationships have been mostly with women close to my age except for my last girlfiriend who was 13 years younger than me. It was quite funny now that I am in my early 40's.

I used to get messages from FSUW women as low as 18 years old on NatashaClub but I never answered these messages. My mental barrier was 26 years old and yet I thought at the time this was even way too young for me. I am 42 years old and was looking for a woman in her 30's or early 40's like me. But with NatashaClub what is genuine anyway?

Now I am totally madly wanting this 34 years old woman from Moscow I am talking to on Skype each and everyday. I am even considering for the first time to go meet her before this summer as I wanted at first. She knows and tells me everyday she wants to wait for me until next summer but well I don't know if I will be able to wait that long now.

Let me tell you RussianWind if she was 43, 44, it would have been the same as it is to the point I want her so much that I don't care how old she is. I am a lot more attracted by what she has between her ears. Everything she says or writes makes me want her more and more each passing day. Of course I find her truly so pretty but, yet this is my own tastes, my own preferences. To others she could be just an ordinary woman. I really don't care for anybody else's opinion anyway. In my eyes she's the prettiest and that's all that counts.

I think it's a personal matter. If anyone wants to marry a woman 20, 25 years younger it's asking for growing old alone or not with that woman but well to each his own opinion. I don't judge. I simply feel that way.

[ConnerVT]

6.5 years for my wife and me.

Before I met my wife, I was dating an AW who was 7 years older than me.

[Doll]

6.5 years between my husband and I but I agree with the OP- 15-20 years is a very usual age difference in A-R marriages and the reason is "BECAUSE I CAN"(blue passport and tons of desperate women)

[RussianWind]

Do I understand it right, on the American market you can date only older women? 

I tell you what. I saw profiles in international dating sites, the average gap is -5 +5. In FSU oriented sites it always -20 -5, never older 

[ChuckRC]

I'm one of those older men looking for a woman at least 10 years younger than myself.  I'm 46, spent 23 years in the Army, was "married to the service", and realized over the past few years how much I wish I had a wife and family.  It appears that there may be some Eastern European ladies who are young enough to have and want children and, although an unlikely longshot, it appears that some few of them may not immediately reject me out of hand on account of my age.   So, yes, I am chasing that chimerical fantasy of a younger woman, no doubt to an unhappy and ultimately failed end.  I also lack the admirable altruism that would satisfy me to adopt someone else's children, for I want common children with my theoretical wife.  What could I possibly have to offer such a young lady?  I certainly will not advertise any character qualities that I think I might possess, but I will be able to provide a stable, comfortable home, enough resources to live well for the theoretical wife and provide a good upbringing and education and theoretical children, and enough of an estate after my demise to ensure that my wife is well-cared for even if she should choose to not remarry.  Sorry to not be able to deny your stereotype of the nature of western men seeking younger women on this board, regrettably I am one of those distasteful things that you find so sadly depressing. 

[XMan]

At the risk of offending someone or getting flamed, I'll throw out my honest opinion.  

A woman who works for me is almost 11 years older than her husband.
Another woman who works for me is 19 years younger than her husband.  
These are made in the USA couples.
A gentleman who works for me is the same age as his wife (though they are starting divorce proceedings).

I guess my point is, what does it matter.  People are attracted to whom they are attracted to.  
If one is desirous of a woman who plays the piano because one loves music, why not focus on pianists.  
If one wishes to be with a woman who loves camping and fishing, it would be wise to pursue her rather than pretend a woman who loves ballet will suffice.  

If one does not find women in one's particular age bracket appealing, looking 5-10 years younger (or older, for that matter) makes sense, assuming that the woman finds something appealing in the man other than his wallet (unless the man doesn't really care and is willing to risk it  -- crazy, but who knows).  But as I said in a previous post, gold diggers come in every size, shape, and nationality.

Frankly, I have seen fantastically few women in the USA over 40 who actively take care of themselves (or men, for that matter).  In 32 states, 60 percent of the population is either overweight or obese.  The problem worsens with age.  Nothing turns off a health and exercise conscious person like myself faster.  Superficial?  Perhaps.  But in my view no different than wanting other shared interests, like art, politics, gardening, comedy, or something else.

This does not mean I rule out a woman who is 43.  Definitely not.  But why search for a needle in a haystack.  Why not search where the likelihood of finding what one wants is somewhat higher (early to late 30's in my case)?  

When I have living proof right in front of me (the aforementioned cases at the beginning of this post), I see no reason to feel criminal about pursuing someone 9 years or 12 years younger.  Do I want a woman 23 years younger than I am?  Hardly.  Would I tell someone else not to pursue that?  Well, to each his own.  I would warn of the inherent risk.  But divorce and getting taken advantage of by a woman is not magically prevented by a narrow age gap.  I can attest to that.

[Doll]

I'm 46, spent 23 years in the Army, was "married to the service", and realized over the past few years how much I wish I had a wife and family.

Just out of curiosity- why didn't you get married before? This question has nothing to do with the OP.

[Doll]

  XMan, I agree with you- this is how it is in any country.

This thread is not about general things though, it is about the tendency of American-FSU marriages where men (I don;t blame them) very often go for much younger girls. It is totally natural for a male- to want younger "meat" (sorry). It is not that easy though to do it "locally" because of AW high standards and it is way easier for them in FSU. The answer is- many RW are desperate. Do AM use it? They do.

  I am sorry- I am not going this sweet round about way to say it but it is  quite obvious for each party.

  Sure we all can be attracted to any partner- older or younger or same age, but let's be honest to ourselves- it is about blue passports and desperation. In 95% minimum.

[Misha]

It is not that easy though to do it "locally" because of AW high standards and it is way easier for them in FSU.

I agree with you (twice in one week, it is a new record ). Why would men go overseas if they could find the same type of woman at home? Why spend all that time, energy and money for "an accent"? I don't buy it. Plus, the man will likely have to suffer along with his future spouse as she will likely go through culture shock and homesickness. Plus, she is likely to spend years establishing a new career. Why would any sane man take on all of this if he does not think he will find a better wife overseas, and better is usually defined in terms of younger and more attractive, though some men will IMHO claim that it is because they are really looking for a "traditional" wife.

[XMan]

"Sure we all can be attracted to any partner- older or younger or same age, but let's be honest to ourselves- it is about blue passports and desperation. In 95% minimum."

Perhaps you are right.  You certainly have a valid point, I cannot argue that.    

But I still think there's more to it than passports and desperation.  I don't think the women generally  marry the first American that shows up on their respective doorsteps.  I don't think many of the men marry the first woman that shows a little interest in them either.  I have no way of proving this, however.  I only have my own experiences, and that is not enough evidence from which to produce a solid theory.  

If one can find a younger, or more attractive, or wealthier, or smarter, or taller, or funnier, or whatever, person, I think one is going to look (applicable to men or women).  If it means in another country, then it means in another country.  

There are plenty of men who pursue younger women.  How many of them actually marry them I have no statistics on.  (I'm sure there are plenty of sex tourists also, though I don't know them personally.)  

I've heard (or read in correspondence) a number of women discuss their bad experiences with UM or RM.  That alone could be a primary driver for throwing one's hat into the Internet ring.  My personal experience with AW is more than enough for me to try something different, no doubt about that.  

But if I had a choice between a compatible, attractive, 37 year old woman, and a 25 year-old model, I would be the guy chasing the 37 year old woman.  Still younger than me, I admit.  

One doesn't have to be younger to be attractive.  But as I said before, actually finding a woman over 40 who takes care of herself is a fantastically difficult task.  That's a deal breaker for me.  Maybe it is for others as well.  

One final bit -- I also think that the following is often in an AM's thoughts:  
If one is going to commit to incredible amounts of searching, writing, calling, interpretation, financial expense, time, travel, governmental paperwork, support (especially while she becomes acclimated to her new home and country), and this overall phantasmagorically immense amount of work involved, it had better be worth it.  
Therefore, one pursues the "dream woman," whatever that might be.

[XMan]

One more bit and then I will be finished pontificating (or so we all hope -- Ha).

This seems oddly very personal, so I hesitated to post it at first.
For me, I deeply regret having missed out on family. 
It's not an absolute requirement for me to father a child, but to actually be a stepfather is something that I would still like to experience.  A woman in her 30's who has a child is very appealing to me in that regard.  If a woman over 40 has a child, he/she is most likely already an adult or darn near it. 
So perhaps this is my last gasp effort to have the chance that is nearly if not completely out of reach.
Whether or not similar feelings apply to anyone else, I have no idea.

[ChuckRC]

Just out of curiosity- why didn't you get married before? This question has nothing to do with the OP.

There's a long answer to that.    Came close twice.  Foolishness on my part in one case, not so clearly defined in the other, but that one was clearly for the best, in retrospect.

[elliott]

Do I understand it right, on the American market you can date only older women?

It's the era of the cougar, isn't it? 

The only impression I get here is that older men are chasing young chicks...

There are also young men chasing young chicks. 

[Shadow]

It's the era of the cougar, isn't it? 


There are also young men chasing young chicks. 

So we are missing the cougars here. 

[RussianWind]

It's the era of the cougar, isn't it? 

I don't know this expression. Something American?

There are also young men chasing young chicks. 

Young men do not look at the east. They should have experience with locals first.

[boaterguy]

A cougar is an older woman looking for a younger man.

My wife is 1+1/2 years younger than me.

I don't know this expression. Something American?

Young men do not look at the east. They should have experience with locals first.

[Shadow]

Young men do not look at the east. They should have experience with locals first.

Why ? Are inexperienced young men prohibited in the east ?