A woman of your age

[Gator]

This is NOT easy. If I knew then what I know now, I definitely would had done what 'jb' adviced me to do before. Stay home.

I'm missing something because this means that you never would have met your lovely lady.  :noidea:  Statements like that could hurt your chances of making the cover of MOB Illustrated.

[KenC]

I thought this would be the appropriate place to post this. ???

ABC has a new comedy show called "Modern Family" on Wednesday nights.  It involves 3 dysfunctional but related families.  One of which is an older man (Ed O'Neil from "Married with Children") is married to a smoking hot much younger Colombian woman (Sofia Vergara).  The humor related to their age and cultural difference is hilarious!
 
http://abc.go.com/shows/modern-family

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Family

Enjoy!
KenC

[GQBlues]

Statements like that could hurt your chances of making the cover of MOB Illustrated.

I'll likely pass on that Gator...I don't believe I'll meet the criteria to qualify anyway..

I'll admit that it may be a strange thing to say but aside from my wife's occassional tendency to be as stubborn as a bent nail, she really is the perfect person for me to keep me in balance. The best thing I can describe this is, and in concert with what KenC posted above...are the same feelings Ricky Ricardo felt about Lucy. All in a good way of course...

Ironically enough, that's my wife's favorite show. She records every single episode and comes home to watch it during her lunch hour (she works less than 5 minutes from where we live). Her favorite episode was when Ricky & Fred taught Lucy and Ethel how to play golf. She got a kick out of it because that was almost the same time she started learning how to play and she immediately got the humor behind it.

[JR]

I Love Lucy was/is my x's all time favorite TV show also! Man she loved that show...

[ScottinCrimea]

I Love Lucy was/is my x's all time favorite TV show also! Man she loved that show...

Are you trying to scare him?   :evil:

[IAmZon]

1, Sunny's post about younger women having to take better care of their older husbands is worth repeating and a little analysis. (I have been here a while now, and have done a A+ job at not getting into marriage situation. Some would say that gives me less relevance. One one hand it may, but on the issues of attraction and developing true and natural relationship, I have become "seasoned".)

When a guy makes the decision to shed a decade or two off his dating pool, there is a serious necessity to take exceptional physical care of himself.  Otherwise ...    That is a burden and not easily done. 

2, On another point that goes more to the heart of this thing:  Are we guilty of being too analytical? Too much head and not enough heart?  Also, I worry that the prime motivation to find a wife fast on one one hand; and to leave the country for a better life on the other, offer an inherent compromise in the union of a man and women?    Indeed this may be the mother and father of both the age gap and league gap issue.  I would be interested to see these points taken up seriously as this thread continues...

( To speak personally, thus far I have gravitated to South America  - Chile, Uruguay, Paraguay, and Argentina are mostly European decent - not necessarily because I like woman of South America more.  In fact, at a distance, I like the character and manner, and perspective of Russian / Ukrainian women more  ( education; refinement; sophistication).  But, I have been able to make much of the Latin American culture my own.  And I do love the traditional family structure and relaxed life style of these cultures.   

This does not seem such an easy task to duplicate in Ukraine for me. And with the political situation with Russia, who would want to make such a big investment in time?

Thus, so far, as I have dated new Russian immigrants to the USA, or foreign ladies in their own countries, I have have been without the background proposition of "plucking a woman out of a poor situation in hopes for a better place to live." Most of the very eligible women I have met in South America do NOT want to leave their home. Which is not a requirement for me)

[KenC]

2, On another point that goes more to the heart of this thing:  Are we guilty of being too analytical? Too much head and not enough heart?  Also, I worry that the prime motivation to find a wife fast on one one hand; and to leave the country for a better life on the other, offer an inherent compromise in the union of a man and women?    Indeed this may be the mother and father of both the age gap and league gap issue.  I would be interested to see these points taken up seriously as this thread continues...  

rivardco,
I have often thought of you as one of the smart unmarried men here.  Smart enough to acknowledge your own limitations, experience wise, yet also smart enough to have some great input too.  I would only wish for other inexperienced men to learn from your lead.  But that is a whole other thread.  

As far as compromise being the foundation of age gap relationships, I would have to agree.  Believe it or not, BOTH sides of it compromise IMO.  If you look at this from a trade off perspective and in some very generalizing terms it might be easier to understand.  This would also assume that there is no alternative intentions either (GC, escape from a desperate situation, trophy wife syndrome, wife vacancy fulfillment)

The younger woman trades off youthful virility, good looks and the excitement of experiencing establishing an independent life together when she opts for an older guy.  I know ALL the older guys appear MUCH younger than their age bla bla bla.  And older men are more attractive bla bla bla. And that establishing an independent life together can be as big a pain in the ass as it is exciting, but the experience cannot be replicated one sided.

In giving these things up, the younger woman get security, both financial and emotional, access to a mature wisdom that only comes with age and experience, and a much easier life path for her own personal future.

The older man trades off peace of mind that he will forever hold on to the younger woman, the solitude that comes with a woman more his age, and risks the scorn of friends, family and even business associates.

For this, the older man gets a beautiful, young and energetic woman.  Of those "attributes" youth and energy can both be a two edged sword too.  While a younger woman's youth can make you feel younger yourself, it also can turn into a burden down the line and actually make you feel older.  The same can also be said regarding her energy levels.

While these "trade offs" may seem perfectly acceptable, fun and exciting in the beginning of a 20 year age gap marriage when the man is in his mid forties, they become more difficult when he reaches his mid fifties or mid sixties and even later in life.  I guess it all goes back to the concept that maybe age gap marriages may indeed have a shelf life.
KenC

[Rina_G]

many thanks KenC
I like to read your posts.
you can talk wise and similar about very important things.
And i think stuff - YOUTH  is better for sells
and It's easer for agency to earn money on youth lady than old.
not long ago I've known that agency don't take profiles of women after 40
so such women need to make themselves searching on dating sites 

[KenC]

Thanks Rina,
Things are changing though.  When I first visited Russia in 1998, I used a rather large agency.  At that time, they only had about 5 women listed OVER 30!  At 46 there was no chance of meeting an "age appropriate" woman for me at the time.  At least through any agencies.
KenC

[Rina_G]

Yes KenC
I never thought about agency cause i like to depend just from myself and choice has to be mine
but I think for american man it wasn't good way in that time
but now everything changed
I know many nice women in Russian forum who really want to find serious men
and if we want - we can have
Rina

[SunnyAK]

1, Sunny's post about younger women having to take better care of their older husbands is worth repeating and a little analysis.

The post in question was more of a joke.

2, On another point that goes more to the heart of this thing:  Are we guilty of being too analytical? Too much head and not enough heart?

Yes and yes.
 

[IAmZon]

"Quote from: rivardco on October 16, 2009, 09:55:12 PM
1, Sunny's post about younger women having to take better care of their older husbands is worth repeating and a little analysis.

The post in question was more of a joke. "

I can tell you after a work out yesterday, and Karate today ... it is no joke. And, even then, it is a long term commitment to live a much more active, physical, and youthful life.  It is a HUGE and WHOLESALE choice to adopt a new perspective of living.  It is sort of like a person who has been overweight their whole life, committing to healthy living.


I have thought about the loud noise this thread had in the beginning BLA BLA BLA.   compared to the silence this thread has had since these lines:

1, "Also, I worry that the prime motivation to find a wife fast on one one hand; and to leave the country for a better life on the other, offer an inherent compromise in the union of a man and women?    Indeed this may be the mother and father of both the age gap and league gap issue." ME

2, "As far as compromise being the foundation of age gap relationships, I would have to agree.  Believe it or not, BOTH sides of it compromise IMO. " KenC

For me, I have finally found the heart of the matter - the reason why an AM comes to this board with a sense of "trying to believe" ... the thing that made me ask and read and ask and read again.  Finally I got it through and through.

I just thought I would share my sense of accomplishment. 

Best of luck

[JR]

For me, I have finally found the heart of the matter - the reason why an AM comes to this board with a sense of "trying to believe" ... the thing that made me ask and read and ask and read again.  Finally I got it through and through.

And that reason would be.....?

[BillyB]

Reading this board is quite depressing at times. Have anybody ever considered to marry a woman of your own age, not like -15-20 years  ???

The only impression I get here is that older men are chasing young chicks and this is the main target.

What do you think? Those men must have dirty minds! Actually it's more normal than abnormal that when a man gets older his next partner/s are going to be younger than his previous partner/s. Men are attracted to a woman's beauty and younger women on average are more beautiful than when they get older. Brains on the other hand is a different story. An older woman is normally wiser and would be more stable in many ways. If she is married, she could have built a solid relationship of trust and respect with her man that will keep her man in love with her to the point he doesn't need to look elsewhere to be fulfilled.

I'm 39. I've went out with a number of college aged RW, the youngest being 19. I've also went out with a very good looking 49 yo RW. Most men are not asking women out to be just friends. We want a lover too. I don't think it's right to tell a 50 yo man he can only go out with a 50 yo woman he can't get sexually excited about. I don't think it's right to recommend a 19 you woman to go out with a 50 year old man she can't get sexually excited about either. If an older man wants to chase a 19 yo and if he's lucky to find a young woman sexually excited about him too, then great for both of them if they can honestly fall in love but most likely he will be looking for a woman for a long time if he sets the age limit too low.