OK, you won, but at what cost?

[Mars]

For me it is absolutely normal to take care of my dearest people in my life as it has been always in our family - to support each other in every way 

You just repeated what you earlier said with no reference to my new ideas and reasoning.

[Blues Fairy]

Yes, absolutely normally for Russian culture. My parents raised me, helped a lot with my sons so I feel obligated.

Just because it seems normal to you, and many other Russian families, doesn't mean it's how it SHOULD be. 

Many young Russian adults would probably prefer NOT to have to live with their parents and to rely on their help with kids, and feel "obligated" to parents when their old age comes.

I vote zero; but we do exchange presents (my Mom loves to choose and buy clothes and toys for the little one )

[Doll]

Just because it seems normal to you, and many other Russian families, doesn't mean it's how it SHOULD be.

There is no SHOULD  or SHOULD NOT be in these things- it all depends on how somebody looks at it.
 It is  my personal thing- how I treat my parents and sons, you're right.
Besides we need to also consider some factors- I left my parents both retired - they were 82 and 76. My brother and I share the expenses. It probably "should not be"
but I am sure it is right.  Actually now we share the expenses between my brother, my older son and me. I pay more because I am not there to physically help.
None of us live with my mother.

[OlgaH]

You just repeated what you earlier said with no reference to my new ideas and reasoning.

And I can repeat it thousand times   Your idea and understanding of a family is yours, mine is mine.  

There was a time when we were living all together and a time when we separated, but even now when we all have our own places we are still one family and all happy and sad moments are our family moments.

When my grannies went to market to buy meat they also were buying it for whole family never asking for money, when my mother and aunt are buying medicine for granny they don't ask for money back... (just one example)  

Actually, living in US I don't do anything extraordinary for our Russian family  I do the same things what I was doing when I was living in Russia.  

When Robert comes home and says "look I have got a blouse for mama, I think she will like it" or he asks "how is mama (or granny doing)? Does she need something" I'm glad that he feels as a part of our family. I'm blessed    

[OlgaH]

My parents raised me, helped a lot with my sons so I feel obligated.

I understand what you are talking about. I agree.

It is very sad to see elderly parents whose children don't feel any kind of obligation.

[JR]

I put $250 a month because I paid for at least one yearly trip for my ex to visit her mom and brought her mom/dad here at least once a year.

[thompsongunner06]

I spend 0,,,wife will send her mom some money every couple of months and on birthday,,,her moms home is paid for,,and 100 US bucks goes pretty far. When we visit we take 1 suit case full of gifts.

[shakespear]

I spend 0,,,wife will send her mom some money every couple of months and on birthday,,,her moms home is paid for,,and 100 US bucks goes pretty far. When we visit we take 1 suit case full of gifts.

$100 goes far?  Maybe when the exchange rate was 33pyb = $1 but when it dropped to 24pyb = $1 last September it wasn't so much.  Now rate is about 29pyb = $1.

We send $300 per month with a $6 per month fee for withdrawling the money on our debit card.  I also pay for an annual trip home of between 4 and 8 weeks duration, depending on her schedule.  We also fly her mother to the USA every other year for a visit between 2-3 weeks.     

[thompsongunner06]

Well for a little old lady,,hose paid for,,eats what she grows,,doesnt have any real big bills,,,100 bucks every other month is plenty,,,she lives in a farm area,,gets free wheat/feed for her few animals.

[Jazzyclassy]

 I agree with Olga and Doll. I do not know how it is for some other russian women, but there are people who do not necessarily feel obligated but want to help their parents and yes because they raised them and just because it is absolutely natural. Who else will help them? who else will take care of them ? None but us, their kids.
Of course when you are not able to help financially, you can always support them morally and  they are not waiting for anything, they will always understand. Though I think it is just part of your love and simple respect for them.

[thompsongunner06]

On my last trip to Ukraine her mother was very nice and made sure I always had food/drinks and was comfortable. Her house was not as good as ours in the US and I respected her house and family. I ALWAYS give a few bucks to the money wire out of respect. Do I have to? No,,,,Do I as helping someone that does not have the comforts in America? Yes. I cannot wait to go back and visit. We have it pretty good here even in a bad economy,,,,Ukraine is even worse right now.