What does the average russian women look for in an American man?

[RussianWind]

I give up . . . how many times have you heard it?

Is this a test question; or what?  :-))

Absolutely everybody says he is not typical for his nationality. Just wondering where typical represenatives live

[Gylden]

Not so scary really, just a "hang over" from the FSU days propaganda. Well and maybe a little bit of the European perception that the US throws it's weight around a little to often. I think it can be a typical impression though.
The point of the my post actually is that I am not sure how many FSUW are actually targeting AM.  Do you think they intentionally are looking for AM?

[Nat]

Absolutely everybody says he is not typical for his nationality. Just wondering where typical represenatives live Smiley

Well, everybody is unique, RussianWind That's why questions about "average somebody" are not very informative, because the OP will get a lot of different opinions, and nobody will claim to be speaking for her/his entire nation

The point of the my post actually is that I am not sure how many FSUW are actually targeting AM.  Do you think they intentionally are looking for AM?

You mean precisely men from the USA? Well, I'd say if a woman decided to find a husband abroad, she is likely to consider all civilized countries, not only the USA, but also Europe. At least I'd do that if I were looking for

[BillyB]

Everybody claims to be not average.

When it comes to writing about how I live, I tell every RW I write to that I live a normal life in America. I'm not poor and I'm not rich. Most RW will continue to communicate with me after I say that.

[Mars]

Well, everybody is unique, RussianWind That's why questions about "average somebody" are not very informative, because the OP will get a lot of different opinions, and nobody will claim to be speaking for her/his entire nation

As I noted earlier, the OP just made a simple mistake in his wording.

What he actually wants is to hear from each FSUW individually as to what they are (or were) looking for in an International mate.  From that info, he could try to glean something about what the average want is, from his perspective.

But for some reason, most people (both men and women) here seem unwilling to actually state what it is they want or are looking for.  Or they give answers in some flowery terms which mean nothing.

[RussianWind]

But for some reason, most people (both men and women) here seem unwilling to actually state what it is they want or are looking for.  Or they give answers in some flowery terms which mean nothing.

Smart, talkative, witty, educated, boyish at times, creative, adventurous, spontaneous, pioneer, confident, complex free, compromised... enough? Oh I am already excited! 

[pitbull]

What I was looking for:

35-40 y.o.
PhD
IQ 140 or higher
successful
no former wives or kids
compatible sense of humor
no "real man/alpha male" complex
sensitive
sees the wife as an equal partner, not just a sex object/cook/maid
loyal and committed
has blue eyes (preferably)

[Jumper]

Smart, talkative, witty, educated, boyish at times, creative, adventurous, spontaneous, pioneer, confident, complex free, compromised... enough? Oh I am already excited! 

hey ! that's  amazing, it's ME!  Yay!
well I'm not compromised!! (not yet anyway)
perhaps you meant compromising?

(there is a BIG difference Russianwind   )
but we will let it slide as i would make far FAR greater mistakes in Russian !

and I'm excited that i have the average qualities that the average Russian woman is looking for.
cool!!!


pitbull
nice list!!   but  i failed your qualifications miserably LOL
    but you're happily married anyway!!
1. 47yo
2.no PhD  ,but I have operated a Post HoleDigger
3 IQ seriously no idea.
I know i was tested once ,for a job, easily got it, but did not value the results enough to remember.
It was a managers position , and one of the first things i did was to revise their silly testing process for employment,
 it had very little to do with how good a candidate was for WORKING for this company , in the positions they were hiring for.
anyway- somewhere between village idiot and Mensa member.
 Smart enough to know better, adventurous enough to do it anyway.
4.successful.
5. ouch.(i was widowed before and have a child) as well as now divorced. can you fail one catergory twice?
6. hmm, that is very subjective
7 8 9 passed the others..
10 one eye is green , the other blue.   Half fail? or half pas? I'm an optimist so I'll go with passed on this one

[pitbull]

pitbull
nice list!!   but  i failed your qualifications miserably LOL
    but you're happily married anyway!!

AJ,

I am sure I would fail your qualifications at least as miserably

Which shows that there is no smth. "average" people are looking for. Everyone is different

[Jumper]

AJ,

I am sure I would fail your qualifications at least as miserably

pitbull
only because you are married, that is always a deal breaker!!

but a i agree these generalizations of what the average person "looks for" arn't much help!!

 

[Nat]

But for some reason, most people (both men and women) here seem unwilling to actually state what it is they want or are looking for.  Or they give answers in some flowery terms which mean nothing.

Heh, but that's the problem - if you state all the features, you'll get not a real man, but a flowery ideal non-existent and even boring type Besides, if you know exactly absolutely all the features you're looking for, you might not notice the man you'd really love to see beside yourself only because he's missing some of the features from the list 
So I stated the most important features, and then we'll see, because the list of additional features is considerably longer

[HazyKnight]

Quote from: Blues Fairy on Yesterday at 11:02:29 AM
The "average russian women" does not (do not) look for American men.

 

Quote from: apple47 on December 02, 2009, 06:13:01 PM
           Exactly.    I tried,about 6 years ago on another forum ,to explain this idea to the membership.  Maybe I just don't explain so well, but, they didn't get it then and it's unlikely many get it now.   ..Larry


Sure it's easy to throw out short jabs to try to make someone look foolish.

Both of you well know that the OP meant 'what does the average Russian woman (who is looking for an American man) look for in an American man?'

Then of course, it is still open field for those who will say 'there is no such thing as the average Russian woman, bla, bla, bla'  all the while knowing that the person is looking for some broad generalities.

Better to try to show how clever you are in catching someone up in word trivia rather than giving some useful answers.

This needs to be placed in many of the threads from previous days. I appreciate Mars for standing up against this sort of thing. I was squashed before by others when I asked for helpful anserws to my situation and got smart answers back. Its nice too see this community might be doing better.

As for this topic, honesty is best served to it. So what do you want? It all depends on the wants and needs of the individual person. Some want just to be treated nicely, because they have already suffered and know what its like to not be valued. Some have yet to experience that and desire larger goals (i.e. money). Do you want a woman who wants to be treated nicely, has gone through life and understands there is more than money? Do you sacrifice a woman with values for a woman with more attractive features? Is there a trade? Sometimes there is a trade. We all want a person we are attracted to, the trick is to find that person, who has values.

So the answer to your question of what a woman wants... it depends on her experiences and education. But a better life, that is not too much to ask for? Is it?

[Aloe]

Not so scary really, just a "hang over" from the FSU days propaganda. Well and maybe a little bit of the European perception that the US throws it's weight around a little to often. I think it can be a typical impression though.
The point of the my post actually is that I am not sure how many FSUW are actually targeting AM.  Do you think they intentionally are looking for AM?

having spent 6 months in a Dutch speaking region, ive come to like the USA and other english speaking countries a LOT more than before If i were to start over now, id definitely limit my search to english speaking countries lol

[Aloe]

When it comes to writing about how I live, I tell every RW I write to that I live a normal life in America. I'm not poor and I'm not rich. Most RW will continue to communicate with me after I say that.

99% of AM say that in those exact words. weird eh

[Aloe]

i looked for an attractive, smart, 8k a month disposable income, honest, loyal, funny guy There, does it help I found a very attractive, very funny, smart, honest (i think), loyal guy without any disposable income

[Ludmila]

Aloe,

Please, tell us a bit about your experience with the Dutch. What is the advantage of being an English speaking man vs Dutch ? Thanks a lot.

[remiel6]

I still don't understand the need for generalities. You do not marry the "average russian woman" you marry one woman. There is no such thing as the "average american man". Look at the Am on this forum, by socio economic standards they are all average, yet that tells you about as much about the men on this forum as a blank book does about women. I find the question to be futile. I only need to know what one RW, actually, UW, thinks about me and that is the one I am marrying. I suppose it might be useful to guage whether one should look in the first place, or to explain why some women don't seem to be interested, but even then ask the "one woman you are writing to"
I've said this before and it falls on deaf ears  but I'll throw it out there again and it will echo around like cricket chirps. the other posters will think "what is that annoying sound" and then go back to debating futile questions that get one no closer to finding the woman for you then if they had never been asked at all.

[Mars]

I still don't understand the need for generalities. You do not marry the "average russian woman" you marry one woman. There is no such thing as the "average american man". Look at the Am on this forum, by socio economic standards they are all average, yet that tells you about as much about the men on this forum as a blank book does about women. I find the question to be futile. I only need to know what one RW, actually, UW, thinks about me and that is the one I am marrying. I suppose it might be useful to guage whether one should look in the first place, or to explain why some women don't seem to be interested, but even then ask the "one woman you are writing to"
I've said this before and it falls on deaf ears  but I'll throw it out there again and it will echo around like cricket chirps. the other posters will think "what is that annoying sound" and then go back to debating futile questions that get one no closer to finding the woman for you then if they had never been asked at all.

I agree with some of your comments, but I disagree that such questions and the resulting answers are of no value.

As I posted before, people who ask such questions really are not looking for generalities from each other person.  They are expecting to hear specifics about or from that one person.

Then from those individual inputs, the OP and each reader can start to draw his or her own generalities.

And generalities really are useful.  You may complain that a generality does not help with respect to what you might expect to find regarding a specific woman or man; yes that is true, but you will  probably start to see the generality emerge if you have enough interactions with more women or men (as the case may be).

It is similar to the idea about stereotypes.  People complain that we should not stereotype others of a particular nationality, race, creed, etc.  But there must be quite a bit of truth to the stereotypes, elsewise the stereotype would not have gotten started or continued.

There are some cases where stereotypes really are not true, and these deal mostly of those started and continued as jokes, most of which have to do with intelligence.
e.g. Polish jokes as told in USA, Redneck jokes, etc.

[vwrw]

Speaking of generalities ….According to a study conducted in 37 cultures (Singh, 1995) and I think this study covered FSU, everywhere, the average woman is attracted to healthy-looking, affluent, mature, and bold men.

[Mars]

Speaking of generalities ….According to a study conducted in 37 cultures (Singh, 1995) and I think this study covered FSU, everywhere, the average woman is attracted to healthy-looking, affluent, mature, and bold men.

Good example.  The individual answers the women gave might not be too useful.  But given a sufficiently large sample size, then the results can provide good indicators.

Sure a person could claim this overall answer is of no usefulness to a man who does not have those qualities; but it really is useful because it can give a goal to strive toward, if a person wants.

Also, there are those who like to poo poo such studies by stating they had none of the qualities and 'look at the beauty I hooked.'  Or a woman who might state that she ended up with a man who had none of those qualities and she 'loves him very much.'

But such exceptions, if they are true 'outliers' in the statistical sense, are abberations and should not be viewed as examples to try to follow.  Kind of like the person who wins the lottery touting regular purchase of lottery tickets as a good financial plan for retirement.

Not that we all have to try to conform, as a boring world it would be, but don't cavalierly toss out info about what the 'average' person of the opposite sex is looking for.

[JR]

99% of AM say that in those exact words. weird eh

That's because 99% of the men in this endeavor are those exact words

[JR]

Aloe,

Please, tell us a bit about your experience with the Dutch. What is the advantage of being an English speaking man vs Dutch ? Thanks a lot.

LOL, Aloe is a hot, young Russian woman who speak fluent English and almost no Dutch, thus the affinity for English speaking nationals Along with the growing pains of being a newlywed she moved to a country that speaks a language she doesn't know so she's dealing with that too

Hope you're doing well Aloe, keep your chin up!

[Misha]

Speaking of generalities ….According to a study conducted in 37 cultures (Singh, 1995) and I think this study covered FSU, everywhere, the average woman is attracted to healthy-looking, affluent, mature, and bold men.

Are you referring to the work of Devendra Singh? These are Singh's conclusions in one article that I found online:

"One of the most robust and reliable findings in the scientific literature on interpersonal attraction is the overwhelming role played by physical attractiveness in defining the ideal romantic partner (Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986; Jackson, 1992). Both men and women express marked preference for an attractive partner in a noncommitted short-term (casual, one night stand) relationship (Buss & Schmitt, 1993). For committed long-term relationships, females appear to be willing to relax their demand for a partner's attractiveness, especially for males with high social status or good financial prospects (for a review see Buss, 1999)."

In other words, what a woman looks when she wants a night of passion is different from what she will seek when she wants a husband. Source: http://www.questia.com/googleScholar.qst;jsessionid=Lv9fVVT6V7rHdbbKThYvRVQ19CsH22fKJhCJTm8n7jcdSNGsF107!-1196327867!1517079229?docId=5002101124

This is the abstract I found for Singh's 1995 article:

"Two studies were conducted to examine the role of male body shape (as defined by waist-to-hip ratio [WHR]) in female mate choice. In Study I, college-age women judged normal-weight male figures with WHR in the typical male range as most attractive, healthy, and possessing many positive personal qualities. In Study 2, 18-69-year-old women rated normal-weight male figures with differing WHRs and purported income for casual (having coffee) to most-committed (marriage) relationships. All women, regardless of their age, education level, or family income, rated figures with WHRs in the typical male range and higher financial status more favorably. These findings are explained within an evolutionary mate selection context."

Simply put, all things equal, a woman will prefer a man with both looks and money

[vwrw]

Misha, I do not know if what I quoted is a work of Devendra Singh or not. I read the info in my old psychology book. ( Psychology seven edition in modules, David G. Myers, page 103)

[dobradavid]

Can some of the women tell me what you look for in a man? I'm interested to see the responses.

ROTFLMAO!