not sure where to put this, but 3 questions

[Jepito]

I've been in contact with a lady from Latvia for at least a year. Until 2-3 months ago, it was business relationship (we weren't looking for relationship). Then we became friends and we're now talking about more serious relationship.

Something that worries me: I've been chatting/talking on phone with her a lot. I'm worried that I might have created a wrong picture of her and when I actually meet her, I get disappointed or find that we don't have any connection. While I try to stay cool about it, I can't help but get maybe too enthusiastic. She's so sweet and nice (and cute), I think I'm getting carried away.  How do you handle this?

An issue I have, I don't have much free time outside work. (4 weeks of vacation a year) You think we can manage it with so little time, or it's not enough?

I quickly looked for airfare to Riga and that's insane, more than twice the price of my last trip to Australia.  Usually, how to you get in Eastern Europe?

[Ravens9273]

Jepito

Relax and enjoy. Your relationship is one many would love to find. The relationship that starts as friends and grows are the strongest. Enjoy every moment of it and do not think too hard. Thinking will only ruin it.
Realize how lucky you are and count your blessings that this wonderful woman was brought into your life.
Only thing left now is to go and see her and for the rest of us to wait and hear the good news upon your return home.

Best wishes to the both of you.

[BillyB]

She's so sweet and nice (and cute), I think I'm getting carried away.  How do you handle this?

If you got better options, dump her, if not, go for it and quit worrying.

[remiel6]

It is quite natural to worry about things. The worry will go away after you meet and you will be left wondering what it was you ever worried about.
as for the airfare. My advice is to keep looking around. Try a lot of different sites and be willing to travel on different days. For example, if you leave mid week as opposed to Friday or Saturday then you will usually pay less for the ticket. That being said, since I've done the Aussie trip several times I've found the ticket prices pretty equal. Its not Paris so there will not be the same volume of flights going into there. Try different route options as well. Good luck to you and enjoy.

[Misha]

I quickly looked for airfare to Riga and that's insane, more than twice the price of my last trip to Australia.  Usually, how to you get in Eastern Europe?

You might want to consider flying into a neighboring country and then taking a ferry or train to Riga. There used to be ferries, for example, from Stockholm in Sweden to Riga. You can also take a ferry or boat from Helsinki to Tallinn in Estonia and from Estonia you can take the train to Riga from there. There might also be cheap flights from London to Riga online. This is an example of what I found googling: http://www.cheapflights.co.uk/flights/Riga/London/.

[docetae]

Use a flight to London and after choose air baltic to go to Riga. be careful about transfer time in London, you will probably to have to change airport and to get your luggage. 3h seems to me at least a safe bet.

[RussianWind]

Also wanted to offer to check London. Air Baltic, Ryanair or Easyjet should have cheap flights but they normally operate from London Stansted which is 1 hour from Heathrow.
And get enough time changing connections, British become more paranoid about security. I've heard they now take finger prints at arrival and it should make even longer queues. Of course you will use a different line with the American passport but still mind that it can be more crowded.

[Jumper]

Diffinantly head the advice and give yourself plenty of time between flights, if you go through London's Heathrow airport.
Lots of constrution, lots of changes, terminal layout is scattered by this,
 and large lines for the buses between them,,or to the other airport. not to mention security lines.

i'm not a fan of heathrow, if you can't tell ..
(and have missed plenty of flights that were scheduled as connecting through,  by the same airline)

It certainly may be your best transfer airport to Riga,,
just be sure and schedule plenty of time.

[Jepito]

Thanks guys.

I just don't know. I'm usually a rationnal guy and you know, when something seems too good to be true, I can't stop to wonder. 

Is Paris a better option than London?

And as mentionned, I don't have much time out of work to visit her. maybe 2 trips in the next year. That annoys me a bit. I think that I saw on the government website that latvian doesn't need visa to come to Canada. (I'm Canadian, by they way)
Once I visit her once or twice, you think I can expect her to be able to come?

[RussianWind]

Meet in the third country. Actually I believe that meeting in the third country has lot of advantages for both. Meet in London or Paris and if you both feel good, she can visit you next time. I find your questions really odd. How can we know how many visits you have to do before visiting you in Canada  :noidea:

I have read Latvians do not need visa to the US anymore but about your country you better inquire at the official site.

[docetae]

Thanks guys.

I just don't know. I'm usually a rationnal guy and you know, when something seems too good to be true, I can't stop to wonder. 

Is Paris a better option than London?

And as mentionned, I don't have much time out of work to visit her. maybe 2 trips in the next year. That annoys me a bit. I think that I saw on the government website that latvian doesn't need visa to come to Canada. (I'm Canadian, by they way)
Once I visit her once or twice, you think I can expect her to be able to come?

From where are you in canada ? If it is from Montreal, you will have better deals to Amsterdam and Paris. If you are from Toronto or connecting trough Toronto, fly to London....If she is serious, there will be no problem for her to visit you here.

[Jepito]

I'm western Canada, I need a flight to Toronto or Montreal anyway.

I'll visit her first, then see if we want to go ahead and get her to visit me.

I've never had or even expected a distant relationship so I was just wondering if some people had a few tricks to make it easier.

[Jumper]

no real tricks, relationship are what they are " unpredictable"
they bloom ,or they wither.


The main thing is "why not" meet her? you do have some vacation time already like her ..
the rest will sort itself out?
or not.!!  just like dating someone in your home city,,

the travel is a factor,because of time and costs.,
,but can't (or shouldn't be)  be "tossed"  in with the reltionship part.


if instead of your home town ,you dated a girl 5 hours drive away..
it would be the same .
inconvenient!
but *if* you met and really liked each other, it would progress .
with no gurantees, that's just life.

the extra travel
,,wether a 5 hour drive, or 10 hour flight..
 can put added pressures or expectations ,
but only if you let it.




Not relevent to Canada,
but I now a few people from Riga in my area...most came on work visas or student visa's,,
one woman i know,mid thirties, recently came on a tourist visa ,then changed it to a student visa somehow.She has children in school here, so for latvians(in the USA)  the visa system seems a bit more pliable somehow.(than for some other eastern europeans)

[Kunstkammer]

 so for latvians(in the USA)  the visa system seems a bit more pliable somehow.(than for some other eastern europeans)

Well there is that whole EU/NATO/Visa Waiver Program thing and all 

[Kunstkammer]

Oh and OP you should have her have a talk with the Dynamo (Riga) Ultras.  She needs to inform them for Ultras/Hooligans to be taken seriously they shouldn't take part in "the wave" and they shouldn't let their banner fall, and if it does - they should really pick it up.

[Jepito]

.

[Chicagoguy]

Good Grief !

Not your fault !

[Mars]

Everything's canceled. Went to meet her. Everything was great until that. I found out that my sweety was having an affair with an older man (freaking bastard is old enough to be her grandfather) and was still having it after serious discussion about future and making me come all the way across the world to discuss about wedding. Being a virgin is not on my list of what I'm looking for a wife, but I see it as being the minimum decency/honesty to stop sleeping with other men when you're seriously trying to marry someone.

I'm badly hurt and feel like a complete idiot not seeing it before it was too late. I'm done with it.

Yes, these WOVO trips are a great idea. 

[Ade]

Yes, these WOVO trips are a great idea. 

Yes, he should have had a bunch of women lined up to meet him after he'd seen his woman to "discuss the wedding". 

The main problem here and in other situations is not that he was going to see one woman, it's that he didn't know her well enough before he'd put all his eggs in one basket and committed to travelling to see her. Now that is either his fault in that he's not astute enough or her fault in that she deliberately misled him.

If a man is confident enough in himself and his judgement and in the woman he will be visiting a WOVO is a fine idea; if not, like you seem to be Mars, then do the WMVM thing for sure, just do not mislead and raise false expectations in the process.

[Daveman]

Didn't plan to come back here, but I need to let it out.

Everything's canceled. Went to meet her. Everything was great until that. I found out that my sweety was having an affair with an older man (freaking bastard is old enough to be her grandfather) and was still having it after serious discussion about future and making me come all the way across the world to discuss about wedding. Being a virgin is not on my list of what I'm looking for a wife, but I see it as being the minimum decency/honesty to stop sleeping with other men when you're seriously trying to marry someone.

I'm badly hurt and feel like a complete idiot not seeing it before it was too late. I'm done with it.

How, exactly, did you find out?

So you were friends, and it became a little more serious.... listen, you had nothing but a pen pal until you met her.  If she wasn't pursuing other options I'd have been surprised.  Getting serious about "marriage" is for after meeting face to face.  

How would she know whether you were ever really going to do anything at all to pursue her in reality?

Not posting any of that to justify deception, etc, but really... a "serious discussion about the future" was still just words on the phone. So, you called everything off because she did what exactly? enjoyed her life? Got laid?  Has a sugar daddy? (hey, tell her to have him buy you a $700 coat unit).

Way too early to get serious... writing a year or not... growth potential, IMO, really begins with the meeting... communication is cool, but damn...

[Gylden]

Maybe here we have an example of "full disclosure" from the other side of the fence!

Allways bad to hear about disappointments, but really, I agree with Dave and SJ. Allways better to be cool and take enough time to really consider the situation.

The cost of travel can confuse issues sometimes as well, this cost IMO is better to just ignore, as it is an accepted and assumed risk.

I am sure you will feel different after you have had time to reflect.

[Mars]

If a man is confident enough in himself and his judgement and in the woman he will be visiting a WOVO is a fine idea; if not, like you seem to be Mars,

I was not aware that you and I were close enough or had spent enough time together for you to know anything about my confidence in myself.

Does my refusal to buy lottery tickets reveal a lack of confidence in myself?

[Ade]

I was not aware that you and I were close enough or had spent enough time together for you to know anything about my confidence in myself.

Does my refusal to buy lottery tickets reveal a lack of confidence in myself?

Your posts speak volumes.

[Faux Pas]

Didn't plan to come back here, but I need to let it out.

Everything's canceled. Went to meet her. Everything was great until that. I found out that my sweety was having an affair with an older man (freaking bastard is old enough to be her grandfather) and was still having it after serious discussion about future and making me come all the way across the world to discuss about wedding. Being a virgin is not on my list of what I'm looking for a wife, but I see it as being the minimum decency/honesty to stop sleeping with other men when you're seriously trying to marry someone.

I'm badly hurt and feel like a complete idiot not seeing it before it was too late. I'm done with it.

You went to discuss wedding plans and you had never met her before? Jepito, not to rub salt in your wounds guy but, perhaps your expectations of this lady were WAYYYY too high. Seems you skipped the "relationship" stage and went from friends on the phone to almost husband and wife. Quit beating yourself up but you really should do some soul searching. Have you ever discussed wedding plan with a Canadian woman on the first date?

[GQBlues]

Discuss your wedding with someone you started a virtual relationship with the past 2-3 months but never met in person?

You don't think maybe the problem lies not in who and how she spent her real time life with, or what you feel she witheld against you, but rather the virtual world you created and resided in the past 2-3 months that clashed with reality?

Many posters here would/should agree with this woman that she's under NO obligation to tell you anything, but I digress...

You claimed of being a rational man. If so, then let yourself look over this experience and understand where things had gone wrong, if one actually exist.