Sex - the other side of the coin.

[Albert]

I recently posted about a very, very, very, highly sexual woman. Such women are very, very, very rare. As such, it is unlikely that any one man has ever encountered such a woman. And, with a couple of possible exceptions, that has proven to be the case with the male posters on these discussion boards.

Some guys have had experiences with women who were willing and wishing to have sex whenever the man wanted. But that doesn't even begin to describe a very, very, very, highly sexed woman such as the woman I met and described. By their own words, most posters (including the one I quote below) reveal (even when they didn't intend to) that they completely misunderstood the situation or couldn't even comprehend it.



On a related note, many male posters have the idea that the typical FSU woman is possibly better at sex, or at least more interested in sex than the typical AW. I don't think that is the case. Women are women the world over. Most have normal (for a woman) sex drives (which are lower than the normal man's), quite a few have low sex drives, and a very few have high sex drives.

In response to my earlier post, a AM responded with the 'other side of the coin.' Through private e-mails, he gave me permission to post his story.

- - - - - -

Sex. Ah, one of my favorite subjects. This has been a sore point in my marriage to my UW. We have been married 6+ years and except for occasional minor miscellaneous problems, sex is the only thing about the marriage that has disappointed me.

We have a 12+ year age difference. My wife is 38 and a very attractive woman with a beautifulfigure. When I met her she was cute but she has blossomed into a magnificent creature. Very sexy, at least to me, which I guess is the most important thing. I don't know if I ever have met a couple with equal sex drives. People who try to determine what is "normal sexual activity" are stupid and wasting their time because it is a very complicated subject, especially when you consider the complex emotional makeup of women compared to the primaeval sex urge of most males.

My preference is twice a day, morning wake-up sex and whenever else in the day you can do it. Three or four times/day is nice occasionally and sometimes I can go one or two days without a strong desire to make love to my beautiful and sexy wife.

My wife is a once or twice a week gal. When I first went to Ukraine to meet her, I had a long discussion with her about my sexual needs. I told her right then if she was not a person who enjoyed this level of intimacy, or something close thereto, that we should not pursue the relationship any further. She had a very good knowledge of English when we met. She understood perfectly what I was talking about and she said that she too had the same type of needs. Of course our initial time together confirmed this as our relations were frequent and incredibly intense.

After we married things began slowing down. We have had many discussions about this. She has said that when we first met the emotions were very intense but that it is natural for these types of feelings to diminish with time. I told her that my desire for her has increased over time as she has blossomed into a mature woman and as my love for her has grown stronger.

It's not just about sex. I love this woman so much and sex is one of the primary ways that help me feel closer to my woman. I feel more distant when there is less intimacy. It's also not just about intercourse either. I love to kiss and cuddle and hold hands and sit close to each other. My wife appears bored by this most of the time. When we do make love it's incredible. I have no desire for any other woman ever again in my life. Honestly!

The point I am trying to make is your woman seems to be my side of the story. Obviously you will make every effort to please her and keep up with her in the courting stage but will you be able to keep it up so to speak? It sounds as though you have discussed this issue in detail and that she says she understands and can accept what you have to offer. You need to be honest with yourself and whether you can continue to make her happy.

Even after all of that, there are no guarantees that things will stay the same and that both of you will continue to be happy with this aspect of your relationship. I will never leave my wife because of this issue and I will never cheat on her because my love for her is stronger than my sexual needs but it is a source of disappointment that I deal with on an ongoing basis just like I always wanted a boy but that never happened. Oh hell, having a perfect wife would probably be boring.

Good luck to you.

[Casanova]

If you truly date in the FSU, you would know your WRONG on the "very rare" point.  These women are MUCH more uninhibited, as a general rule, than women from the U.S.  I disagree with your point, as experience has shown me otherwise.

[andrewfi]

Casanova ~ I think you misread Albert's post, the relevant portion of which I quote for you below:

On a related note, many male posters have the idea that the typical FSU woman is possibly better at sex, or at least more interested in sex than the typical AW. I don't think that is the case. Women are women the world over. Most have normal (for a woman) sex drives (which are lower than the normal man's), quite a few have low sex drives, and a very few have high sex drives.

He was not writing about the degree of inhibition as you called it, but upon their sexual prowess, a completely different thing. A completely uninhibited woman could be also completely unskilled as a lover and an inhibited one can be technically very proficient. One can also be inhibited in sexual matters and at the same time willing to have sex. I can not comment for all women in all countries of the world, but I can comment upon women from 'Eastern Europe', the United States and, aproximately 20 different nationalities. In my small and very personal experience, I would suggest that Albert is pretty much on the mark. The only real difference that I have encountered among some women, and not jsut from the FSU is that women in some places are more interested in pleasuring their partner than in others. For example, Finland and Russia make an interesting comparison in this regard. It might be that many guys are confusing the sexual roles for a lack of inhibition, or increased skill. It should be rememebered that the women that most guys are meeting are, in certain aspects of their lives and behaviour, atypical.

Russian women do appear to be more willing to talk about sexual issues than the American men that they meet. I am becoming convinced that this is a function of the guys and their behaviours than it is that the women are themselves different or unusual, my expereince has not been that American women are particularly shy in these matters and a survey of the media in both Russia and the US would certainly not suggest any great difference. By this I mean that many of the guys on these boards are not exactly brimming with success in the sexual arena and so they become confused when they meet women who are normal, and even more confused when they meet women who have an agenda and who have learned many years ago that the way to a man's heart is not through his stomach, but through his penis!

[Casanova]

Very well said Andrew.  My experience led me to beleive that they are indeed a bit more open than some of the men about, as you have stated, and that alone is helpful, as increased communication or openness leads to better relations all around, in the bedroom, or out

[BC]

Yes for many WM leaving the lights on will indeed be a treat~!

LOL

[catzenmouse]

Yes for many WM leaving the lights on will indeed be a treat~!

LOL

AMEN to that one Brother!!! :D:D

[LarsXYZ]

Russian women do appear to be more willing to talk about sexual issues than..

I guess, that most RW as many other women would be quite shocked, if you have special desires like BDSM or other fancy stuff & bring that on topic.

In fact, I have following question to the group:

If you are a guy with special ideas as above & that means a lot to you, then how early would you tell her about that & ask to her opinion?

regards Lars

[Daknack]

Interesting question Lars.  Ive talked to a few RW about that subject exactly.  In a way it was actually her that brought it up.  I was rather shocked that a woman would talk so openly about something like that.  I posed the question to a RD board and it seemed the general concensus was that if it is something hardcore and constant like a lifestyle bdsm, type thing or crossdressing, it should be brought up ASAP if not in the first letter.  Im not sure personally if that should be put in a first letter but probably discussed at least before you meet.  Now at the same, I was told if it was just doing things to add "spice", that it really didnt need to be brought up right away as thats more playing and experimenting sexually and not a big issue.  As I said, this was their opinion.

I will add they seemed most willing to discuss the matter though most seemed to be uninterested in actually doing more then say tie-up or something.  Not sure if you ment specifically BDSM or something else in particular, but the conversation I had seemed to focus on that as well as crossdressing.

[Bruno]

Im not sure personally if that should be put in a first letter but probably discussed at least before you meet. 

I think that so issue need to be discussed before meeting... but about say when, it is a little difficult...

If you are a men who write few letter before meeting, this can be discussed just before your plan the trip...

But if you are a man who write 6 month before meet... it is better to speak about this in a early stage of the letter writing... i don't think that any women wish loose 6 month of his live for communicate with someone for nothing...

On a other forum, it was a similar discussion over when a man need to inform the lady if he have some permanent illness ( example : diabetes )...

All outside the norm need to be say before... if in the early stage of communication, you begin hide the truth to your new girlfriend... on what base can you build a trusted relationship...

 

[Albert]

Bruno says, "All outside the norm need to be say before"

But for many of the men here, with little sexual experience, who is to say what is outside the 'norm?'

[philb]

Ah... Albert, do I have to spell it out for you?

[Bruno]

Vanilla sex is a term that refers to what a society regards as standard or conventional sexual behaviour

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanilla_sex

[/b] 

[Oosik]

The only posts that I have seen where men were not being sexually satisfied were in relationships where things were obviously screwy to the rest of us. That's RWG and RWD.

Generally guys have posted things like OMG it was amazing, ot they kept it to themselves.

I'll say that RW/UW have some great sayings:
Sex prevents headaches
Why say yes in a church and no in a bed
Swallowing is good for a woman's health (recent study in UK showed it, but at least in Petropavlovsk it is a common belief among the women).

The ones that I have had intimate conversations with were open to pretty much everything. Granted, the whole leather and whip thing was not discussed, but...on second thought, PM me, I can tell you more about attitudes that I don't want posted here.

[LarsXYZ]

Not sure if you ment specifically BDSM or something else in particular, but the conversation I had seemed to focus on that as well as crossdressing.

For my part I ment BDSM with roleplay's etc, where i'm in the dominant position.

I also believe that "headlines" should be mentioned in the first letter & more details within the first few weeks.

It is however important that sex isn't #1 priority, since a relationship is so much more than that.


By the way I found following link about matchmaking/ dating & making your profile in regard to special interests.

http://www.sexuality.org/personal.html

regards Lars

 

[jb]

BDSM???  I can't believe what I'm reading here.  Oh well, it was predicted.
Maxx wrote:

I fear that there will be a mass migration from that place to this. Then the members we have now will say to each other "ah... remember that first year... before all the riff raff, clowns, scammers and nutjobs from RWG came over and turned this place into a zoo?" We will have threads entitled "There are no such thing as GCG's!" and "The intelligent approach to FSU sex tourism". Can't wait.

And, Dan, in his innocence, said:   

No, I don't think so.

And here I see someone, a new person, wanting to discuss BDSM.   Maxx, you are  now a proven psychic.

And mark my words, there will likely be another nutjob or two who will defend this crap.   Ahhhh,,,, too bad, we used to have a nice clean little board here.

[LarsXYZ]

And mark my words, there will likely be another nutjob or two who will defend this crap.

JB, thanx for your polite words!

Please tell me with valid arguments, why BDSM which you refer to is crap?

regards Lars

 

[jb]

Lars,

You've just earned for yourself the title of,"Nutjob #1"

Of course, it's just my opinion, we'll have to wait to see how the other board members weigh in on the topic.

[LarsXYZ]

Ahh, it's like a deja-vu back from the middle age:)

Corpus Christi, Texas, isn't that within the bible belt? Are you religious JB?

Ahh your opinion? So you won't bring up some arguments for your statement?

regards Lars

[jb]

Lars,

I have no intention of arguing with you over your lifestyle.  Where I live in Texas, or whether or not I'm a religious person (and indeed, I am), has no bearing on you being a pervert.

We already had, true to Maxx's prediction, a thread in the Beginners Section started by the now banned Casanova, about his being worried about AIDS.  If that nutjob  hadn't figured it out, if your worried about contracting AIDS or some other STD, your running with the wrong crowd and picking up the wrong kind of woman, which translates into being a sex tourist. 

Unfortunately, most people nowadays are so PC brainwashed they have to pretend to be concerned about AIDS, so the thread ran two pages, which was two pages more than this board needed.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/forum3/1186.html
But the bottom line is, only sexually promiscuous people having multiple partners, IV drug abusers, and other nutjob lowlife's have to worry about contracting STDs.  And now you throw into the mix the subject of BDSM, quite frankly, I do find that very offensive.

I ask the membership, "Do I want to be associated with those kinds of people?"  More importantly; "Would I want to marry one of those kinds of people?" 

[LarsXYZ]

Lars,
You've just earned for yourself the title of,"Nutjob #1"

JB, with that statement you just violated forum rules:

-----------

You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use the RWD Bulletin Board to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive......

We each come to this board with different personalities and backgrounds which influence how we see the world. Appreciation of these differences is one of the goals of this board.

internet boards have become a battleground for libel claims. Please be just as cautious about making unfounded statements and/or accusations, as you would be when writing that person a letter.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/forum1/1.html

-------------

Regards Lars

[jb]

What are you? Some kind of lawyer besides being a perv?

[LarsXYZ]

What are you? Some kind of lawyer besides being a perv?

JB, you just continue with personal attacks & violating forum rules, that is offensive. Furthermore you don't know anything about me or my lifestyle as well as BDSM, anyway you write lots of abusive statements.

By the way, we are also off-topic now. So if you have more to say/write, then start another thread, but be polite & use valid arguments instead of abusing & judging people.

regards Lars

 

[jb]

In your little halfassed attempt to be lawyerly and quoting the fourm rules to me, you conveniently omitted the other important parts.

You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use the RWD Bulletin Board to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or otherwise a violation of any law. You agree not to post any copyrighted material unless the copyright is owned by you.

I consider any discussion on the subject of Bondage, Domination, and Sadomasochism, to more than meet all the above criteria.

[LarsXYZ]

I consider any discussion.....

Let the forum moderator decide that!

I will not take part in this off-topic abusive thread anymore.

EOD

Lars

[jb]

I suggest you might want to PM Dan and complain to him about how badly I was abusing you about bringing up the subject of BDSM.  Who knows, you might get me banned.