Could she be a scam?

[Lagot]

Hello guys

Glad to be here. This is my first posting in this forum even though I am not new in the Eastern European dating arena. In 2003 I met my first Russian girlfriend and then I also had a Ukranian one until very recently. I guess I was lucky, both girls were real and beautiful (I am not bad looking either, still in my 30s, however struggling financially a little bit at the moment due to some bad investments - nothing I won't be able to fix).
I guess my good luck in the past is blinding me about what I might be facing now, that is why I would to ask your expert opinion and valuable point of view.
Some weeks ago I was contacted by a Russian girl through one of my email addresses (how she got it, I have no idea, she never wrote me through a website first, just direct to my email. I never saw any profile of her in the websites I use). I didn't pay much attention to it, because I had been contacted by real girls in the past that way. I don't want to write her details directly because I wanna give her the benefit of the doubt. In the begining everything was fine. She lives in a small city with 100,000 people, claimed that her phone is broken, and wrote me daily, always answering my questions, calling me by my name and asking me more questions in return. At that stage I was convinced she was serious. I gave her my phone and she called me (according to her from the post office) and we spoke for a couple of minutes, before the credit ran out. The emails were escalating pretty fast. I was attracted to her and told her that I'll be happy to meet her. Her photos seem to be real too, she is a pretty girl, 26yo with normal day photos, none of them sexually alluring. Her emails are tender, not in perfect english but good enough, and she doesn't mention that she loves me (only that I might be the man she's been waiting for)
The problem is that after all this time her phone is still broken, and she is already talking about meeting each other. She claims she has a job she likes and never even suggested about asking for money (at least not yet). But for some reason she seems to be willing to come to the EU with only 10 emails shared and one very brief phone call. When she asked me about our possible meeting I suggested that she should set the limits on how far she was willing to travel to meet a stranger (after all, that's what I still am to her). I was willing to go to Russia, but she said she could come here...
She just asked my address and that (if i agree) she would go to a travel agency to ask for the requirements for a Schengen Visa (which of course I already know what they are).
How does that look to you guys in your opinion? I hope this is not a scam because I really started developing some feelings for that girl.
Could this be that at this moment in time (2010) a Russian girl living with her parents could have no mobile phone and a broken phone for already more than 2 weeks?

[Vaughn]

You seem to be aware of what red flags might be waving soon - watch for them.

Attracted to what? Her photos? Be careful here. No voice contact yet, maybe never.

Insist on a phonecall that you can place. Mailing address (postal). See what happens.

Welcome to RWD, Lagot.

[BillyB]

I really started developing some feelings for that girl.

You shouldn't have feelings for a girl if you are questioning her sincerity after 2 weeks of communication. Slow down.

Ask some more questions about her and see if she continues to answer every question. Ask for more photos and see if she's willing to share her life in photos with you.

I find it strange that she can call you and pay for internet but her and her parents combined can't afford or get a phone to work in their apartment.

Tell her you could never have a relationship with someone that you can't talk to every few days. Sounds reasonable and logical? Tell her to buy a phone or ask her friends, relatives or neighbors if she can use their phone at certain times and make appointments telling her you'll call her occassionally. If she has no friends, relatives or neighbors willing to allow her to accept call from you or are lacking phones, then it says something about her that's not good.

Your email was intercepted because you passed it out. Maybe you had a profile out there with your email in it or gave it willingly thinking you were writing a woman when the profile wasn't real. Maybe you wrote to a scammer once before and since they didn't get money from you then, they passed your email to a buddy scammer to work on you. Maybe a profile you wrote to was posted my a small agency and they took your information and one of the agency girls are now writing you. Some agencies post profiles at dating sites in hopes you'll communicate and/or visit the woman using their services.

[sunandsail]

I am not bad looking either, still in my 30s, however struggling financially a little bit at the moment due to some bad investments

Have you considered investing in a nice bridge?

[myrddin]

Did she ever mention how she got your email?  How she knew anything about you?

[Lagot]

Thanks Vaughn and Billy B.

Actually we had a phone call, she called me but it lasted only 2 minutes, according to her she was calling from the post office and the credit ran out (which might be true, since she was dialling my cell phone). Actually I never had any money requests from any girl I contacted before - I was in contact with a scammer back in 2003, but just doing my homework in the internet I was able to detect her. So far everything was only light for me, i'm just begining to see the potential dark side now.
I ran a google search for this girl and found nothing. I guess I will know soon enough.
You are right Billy B, I will definitely insist on having more phone calls with her, repairing a phone shouldn't be a big deal.

[Lagot]

Your email was intercepted because you passed it out. Maybe you had a profile out there with your email in it or gave it willingly thinking you were writing a woman when the profile wasn't real. Maybe you wrote to a scammer once before and since they didn't get money from you then, they passed your email to a buddy scammer to work on you. Maybe a profile you wrote to was posted my a small agency and they took your information and one of the agency girls are now writing you. Some agencies post profiles at dating sites in hopes you'll communicate and/or visit the woman using their services.

It really goes that deep, huh?

[Vaughn]

Lagot,

 Not to promote paranoia, but you might run her photos on Tineye and see if they appear elsewhere...

http://www.tineye.com/

Also, have you googled her name in Cyrillic yet?

[BillyB]

It really goes that deep, huh?

Yeah.

I wrote to a lot of ladies at a dating site and women I didn't write to came out of the woodwork. Some scammers or some just women out of small and large marriage agencies wrote me. My intro letter had info about me and my goals with photos and it was taken by a large agency and they created a profile of me at their site and I was spammed with tons of letters from their ladies. I did not think the ladies were sending me mail their intro letter but the agency doing it for them.

[Lagot]

Did she ever mention how she got your email?  How she knew anything about you?

I also noticed that she used a different email address for her initial contact. Her first email was obviously a template. From the second email, she started using her current email addres and replying based on what I wrote.

[myrddin]

I also noticed that she used a different email address for her initial contact. Her first email was obviously a template. From the second email, she started using her current email addres and replying based on what I wrote.

I'd feel odd about suggesting it's wrong to use a template for an initial contact (since I used the same intro on some websites), but it sounds as if she never mentioned where she found you or why she was motivated to write.  More than one of my scammers changed their email immediately after the first contact. 

[sunandsail]

Come on.   Different email addresses.  She contacted you out of the blue.

I may appear like a wise guy for suggesting you might purchase the Brooklyn Bridge, however the chances of this being legit are parallel to my ability to sell you that bridge.

It is a good looking bridge.

[BillyB]

I also noticed that she used a different email address for her initial contact. Her first email was obviously a template. From the second email, she started using her current email addres and replying based on what I wrote.

That's bad news. Scammers do this a lot.

The first email address is for intitial contact and then communicating with the men is done with the second email address.

They eventually tell all the men they're writing to in the second email address that "You're the only one for me and the only one I'm writing to".

They know many Western men are suspcious and will test them. Some Western men think they are smart and will send the lady they are writing to photos of another man and an introduction letter expressing interest from a new email account they created to test their newfound love.

The lady/scammer will not respond or respond saying she is already commited to a man and decline further communication.

Western man feels happy that it's the truth he's the only one in her life and not a scammer talking to all men in an attempt to ask for money. He begins to give scammer unconditional trust. You know the rest of the story.

The truth is the second email address a scammer created is only for the scammer to understand which man is or isn't a first time contact. No first contacts ever happen from them or from a man using the second email. They know any "new" man writing to the second email account is only a test from a man they are currently writing to there.

Anyway, get on the phone with her and talk occasionally. A scammer can be excited to hear your voice early for a short time but quickly grow bored with a guy making numerous calls and end the phone calls early with you if you're not pumping money her way. She called you for two minutes? Maybe it's true she ran out of money or maybe she didn't want to invest anymore time listening to you.

Knowing what city she lives in and the first few digits of her number someone could probably tell if she used a landline or a mobile phone to make the call to you.

[Lagot]

That's bad news. Scammers do this a lot.

The first email address is for intitial contact and then communicating with the men is done with the second email address.

They eventually tell all the men they're writing to in the second email address that "You're the only one for me and the only one I'm writing to".

They know many Western men are suspcious and will test them. Some Western men think they are smart and will send the lady they are writing to photos of another man and an introduction letter expressing interest from a new email account they created to test their newfound love.

The lady/scammer will not respond or respond saying she is already commited to a man and decline further communication.

Western man feels happy that it's the truth he's the only one in her life and not a scammer talking to all men in an attempt to ask for money. He begins to give scammer unconditional trust. You know the rest of the story.

The truth is the second email address a scammer created is only for the scammer to understand which man is or isn't a first time contact. No first contacts ever happen from them or from a man using the second email. They know any "new" man writing to the second email account is only a test from a man they are currently writing to there.

Anyway, get on the phone with her and talk occasionally. A scammer can be excited to hear your voice early for a short time but quickly grow bored with a guy making numerous calls and end the phone calls early with you if you're not pumping money her way. She called you for two minutes? Maybe it's true she ran out of money or maybe she didn't want to invest anymore time listening to you.

Knowing what city she lives in and the first few digits of her number someone could probably tell if she used a landline or a mobile phone to make the call to you.

Seems like I was really lucky when meeting my first 2 FSU girlfriends. Now I know that. It was a natural escalation from emails and phone calls to personal meeting.
Anyway, I sent her an email insisting on having a number to call her and asking also her postal address, under pretext of sending her a postal card. Then I should be able to run a check.

[Vaughn]

Anyway, I sent her an email insisting on having a number to call her and asking also her postal address...

I'd say you're well on your way to finding out the truth. Any excuses tell a tall tale, IMO.

[Gtex]

Sniff test, clue bat, next...

[Lee08]

Hello Lagot,

My wife and I just read your post and she said the post office call is possible, but not having a phone at all just does not sound right. She says every RW she knows at least has a cell phone.
Anything is possible, so please realize this could be fat Yuri's sister making the call. 

[greg2654]

" I was willing to go to Russia, but she said she could come here...
She just asked my address and that (if i agree) she would go to a travel agency to ask for the requirements for a Schengen Visa "


I could be wrong but I think I smell a visa scam in the works.
Please do not send any money.

[Jumper]

sounds veeeery fishy,

but hey , it *could* be legit.

time always tells!!


i can say my wife called me once from the post office when something went wrong with her cell,,
and i also called the USA from a post office there,
so this part isnt unusual!!!!
her not having a mobile phone is!! it is down right odd.
i think any RW 26 or younger  was born with a cell phone  attached to the side of thier head
(sorry girls)

like others i smell a request for travel $$$$  at the last moment,
but
the flip side is many RW have shengren visas and have traveled. so why worry?
keep corresponding,talk on the phone and see what transpires?? why not?

(those RW  certainly have  a mobile phone though,so i still find this odd)

[Simoni]

But for some reason she seems to be willing to come to the EU with only 10 emails shared and one very brief phone call.

Hmm... you have gotten some good advice. 

Also--consider the line above.  Do you REALLY want to become involved with a girl who would run off to meet a stranger in Europe after 10 emails?

Run, Forest, Run!

[JR]

Where O Where is 2012 to defend this poor helpless lass from all of your defamations and rantings about scammers?!?!?!?!?!

If it looks like a duck....

And it quacks like a duck....

Hmmm, Her phone is broken for two weeks? Not impossible. More than one email addy? Not a good sign. My bet is that there will be a request for money after she visits the travel agency. If she can't scrape together the money to get a phone she sure as hell won't have the dough to travel to your home town.

[Lagot]

You can really learn valuable tips from this forum, much appreciated guys.
Part of me still want to believe she's for real, but I am in a state of alert now. Definitely I won't send her any money if she asks.

[Assamena]

Hello, I read your post yeterday, but decided let others to reply first, I was interesting what they think.

As I think, she maybe, real, but playing strange.

How about this: She says, she has a job, and no need from you money. And her phone broken!!! And she does not have money to repair it if she has a job and money? How much cost to repair it, depends how much it broked, but usually it's like 100grn. Does not she have this money? If phone so broked that can be repaired, why she will not buy new one, some chip, for begining, just for talking with you, such chip one cost 300 grn. Women which works does not have such money. Even if it's the worst payed job, 300-400 grn in week she can earn.

Another way, I do not believe she does not have friends, which can give her a phone. So it seems, she is not real girl. And she came to the post to make a call to you, just to show her "reality", because she spoke with you just 2 minutes.  Maybe somebody's wife called from post, but I'd never do this, I never call first to man, and I will never spend my money to call a foreigner first, I'd rather buy new phone and will ask him to call me. So this part kind of strange for me. But maybe I'm wrong.

And last thing. She wants to come first???? I never had idea to come to some foreigner in his country, because I have never seen him, and I do not know, maybe he is crazy??? I never go even from Kharkov to Kiev alone to meet man, even if I like him very much by internet. Internet and real life very different, and I think she  just needs from you money for a ticket she will never buy.

[Simoni]

Hello, I read your post yeterday, but decided let others to reply first, I was interesting what they think.

As I think, she maybe, real, but playing strange.

How about this: She says, she has a job, and no need from you money. And her phone broken!!! And she does not have money to repair it if she has a job and money? How much cost to repair it, depends how much it broked, but usually it's like 100grn. Does not she have this money? If phone so broked that can be repaired, why she will not buy new one, some chip, for begining, just for talking with you, such chip one cost 300 grn. Women which works does not have such money. Even if it's the worst payed job, 300-400 grn in week she can earn.

Another way, I do not believe she does not have friends, which can give her a phone. So it seems, she is not real girl. And she came to the post to make a call to you, just to show her "reality", because she spoke with you just 2 minutes.  Maybe somebody's wife called from post, but I'd never do this, I never call first to man, and I will never spend my money to call a foreigner first, I'd rather buy new phone and will ask him to call me. So this part kind of strange for me. But maybe I'm wrong.

And last thing. She wants to come first???? I never had idea to come to some foreigner in his country, because I have never seen him, and I do not know, maybe he is crazy??? I never go even from Kharkov to Kiev alone to meet man, even if I like him very much by internet. Internet and real life very different, and I think she  just needs from you money for a ticket she will never buy.

Excellent post with very good advice, Assamena.  Thanks for sharing!

[Lagot]

Thanks Assamena, very valuable insight from a FSU woman.
I demanded her yesterday by email to get a phone, I got a 2 line reply today saying that her grandmother suddenly got very ill and she has to go to see her (why are people always using their grandmothers as excuse?)
I don't think I'll hear from her again, if I do anyway I will let you know what came out of this.